I found your story on Read and Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
Very intriguing and so captivating.
Plot:
From the get-go it provided the much-needed suspense that I needed, as a reader, to continue to the end. As a writer, I loved how each paragraph lead into the next and didn't skip a beat.
Style and Voice:
The writer brought us right into their lives as if we were sitting right there with them.
Scene/Setting:
Although we didn't know where they were having the conversation, we didn't need to. It wasn't necessarily part of the story at that time. What we needed to know was about David, the dance and after the talk...tomorrow.
Characters:
Loved how the characters were introduced. We were already in the grandmother's shoes, or at least I was. I met my husband-to-be in 8th grade...we were 14 years old. We dated long after graduating from high school but we went through junior high and high school knowing each other.
Dialog:
The dialog was just enough. Not too little and not too much. The backstory of Rita and her husband Frank led us through.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I found no errors in the grammar or the mechanics.
Suggestions:
Please continue this story! :) Can't wait to hear about the dance and the "talk". Great job!
I found this intriguing from the start. The description about it was jumbled letters. This made me want to read it more. No explanation of what it was about. This was genius.
The few lines here are a great start to a story that needs to be written or at least finish the line. The suspense is killing me. :)
Great start. I would like to read more. Hope you continue it.
I chose to review and rate this one because I also love silence. Sitting with yourself and having the time to just BE is all I need to refuel my writing well. I get more done once I have this time than ever. Thank you for sharing this and letting it be ok to like the quietness of life.
I do like the song..darkness and silence take a bit for me to get accustomed to but the overall song is beautiful.
I found your poem on Read a Newbie. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Very inquisitive from the start. Held my attention.
Form, Format, Rhyme, and Meter (as applicable):
The rhyming was well done. I liked the format of it. Sometimes rhyming can be a bit in the way of the poem and it loses its message. But this one did not disappoint. It rhymed just where it needed and continued to lead us to the answer of what is Red and Roaring.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Great voice- you felt the playfulness of the writer as the writing leads us to the answer. The imagery was very descriptive.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I see no grammar, spelling, or mechanical errors in this piece.
Suggestions:
I liked this poem and felt that you did a great job keeping the pace and the attention of the reader. Great JOB!
I found your story on Reading Newbies. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
Very Engaging from the start to the finish. :)
Plot:
Loved this premise for a story. We have all been there one way or another.
Style and Voice:
The main Character's voice dominated throughout. Not once did the POV shift and cause a bump in the story.
Scene/Setting:
The scene was set right from the start. We knew where he was and what was going on around him. Great descriptions.
Characters:
Loved how we were pulled in instantly with these characters. We knew them and could feel their perspective throughout.
Dialog:
The dialog was spot on. No hesitant moments and it flowed well between them. Not at all choppy.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I see no grammar errors or any mechanical issues with this story whatsoever.
Suggestions:
Write the next part soon! Dying to know what the heck happened to Nikolas... Great writing. Glad you started writing again. Keep going. :)
I found your story on READ A NEWBIE. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
Very creative story idea and a nice twist at the end.
Plot:
The plot about being outcasts in a world of normal humans was unique and moved along quite well.
Style and Voice:
I felt that the voice of the character came through in this story. You maintained her point of view throughout.
Scene/Setting:
The setting was described right from the start.
Characters:
The two characters Irvine and her dad were the ones involved in this story. They were described quite well.
Dialog:
The dialogue between her and her dad was brief but we got a chance to see how they interact.
Grammar and Mechanics:
Only a few changes that I would suggest. I would look over the first paragraph here and add a few missing words. "sit" - sits. Built more - built for more.
Suggestions:
I really liked the idea of this story. I would read it over again out loud and see where it could flow a bit better. What a great ending. I didn't read the description of your story until after finishing it. It was actually better that I didn't cause it was such a surprise to know about her dad being a giant. I will look for Part 2. :)
I really loved the suspense in this story. It didn't skip a beat throughout and I couldn't stop reading. I especially loved the end where he is sitting at the table petting Hazel. Brilliant storyline and great writing.
I found your story on Read and Review. I liked the title and thought I would see where it went. So happy I did and got to review it. Hope you find my revietw helpful.
Overall Impression:
Seriously I loved it. Between the chat, the dating and using different words to describe what these fish are seeing it was great.
Plot:
I didn't know what these characters were until the end... which was brilliant because I continued to read to find out. The true makings of a great writer.
Style and Voice:
It was funny never skipped a beat as the story moved along.
Scene/Setting:
I liked that it was not revealed who these two were until the end. So the setting was a bit of a mystery which again made me continue to read to find out just who these two were.
Characters:
As I said earlier, it was nice that they were not revealed until the end. :)
Dialog:
Perfect banter and it felt as though you were sitting there with them.
Grammar and Mechanics:
Not a thing I would change. Read well and wasn't choppy at any point of the story.
Suggestions:
Keep writing! I love the way you tell a story. Glad I stumbled upon this and will continue to look for others from you.
I found your poem on Read and Review. I saw this poem and the title is what struck me to read its
contents. It was a pleasure to read this and hope my review is helpful.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I read this three times and each time different emotions rose within me. Each line was powerful and stood out on its own.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
The form is what struck me here. Not your typical poem but one that really struck me and held my attention. It didn't need to rhyme to hold my attention.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Imagery is what was the winning part of this poem. Lines that stuck with me - "your being endlessly overrun and consumed by the dark flames of this world" and "and yet at the very action will spark and collapse it all." These lines took this poem to different levels. Like a diamond has many facets.
I felt the voice of the writer. Expressing how the past has to be dealt with in order to have any chance of a future.
Suggestions:
I encourage you to keep going on this and continue to write in this form. Moving and so deep in its tone that even after three times read I still feel that there is more to grasp.
Thank you for posting this. I will look forward to reading more. Remember to keep writing!
I found your story on Read and Review. I honestly liked the title which lead me to read this very engaging story.
Overall Impression:
It really kept my attention and held it all the way through. For only 200 words it packed a punch and kept the mystery there.
Plot:
Great plot. You could feel the tension as to what Roger was planning.
Style and Voice:
The voice rang out here as it created suspense which is always good to do to keep the reader wanting to know what is coming next.
Scene/Setting:
I felt that you established the setting perfectly and we knew exactly where they were headed.
Characters:
I thought you did a great job of setting up the characters throughout the story.
Dialog:
Not a lot of dialog but what was in this story was perfect because it left us in suspense.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I only saw two areas that need to be corrected here. "She couldn't quiet but her finger on it.." I think you meant "She couldn't quite put her finger on it..."
Suggestions:
Can't wait to read the continuation. It could go in so many directions and I can't wait to find out where you take this. :)
Thank you for posting this and I look forward to reading more of your writing. Keep writing!
I found your poem on Read and Review. So glad that I had the pleasure of leaving a review.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I can't believe this was your first try at romantic poetry. I found it not stalking at all but more of a declaration of love and your feelings for the person.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
I found the form very easy to read without any bumps along the way. It was different than any poem I have read and that is what made this a pleasure to read.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The voice was that of declared love and that is what made it endearing. The writer was exposing their vulnerability which really made you feel for them.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
There were no errors in this area and that is why it read so well.
Suggestions:
It might sound crazy but I honestly could see this as a song. It is moving and has that catchiness like a song would have. I will look out for more of your romantic poetry. :)
Thank you for posting this beautiful poem. Keep writing!
I found your poem on Read and Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This really hit my emotions from the start. The first line brings you in and keeps you there as you read this poem.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
There was no rhyming here. But it didn't need to rhyme to hold the attention of the reader.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
You can feel each line written here. The description of one breaking and not breaking evenly really resonated within me.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
There were no errors within this poem that I could find. It stayed on point and described perfectly human emotions.
Suggestions:
Keep writing! You are extremely good at this and I want to read more. :)
I found your poem on [Rate and Review].I really enjoyed reading this and wanted to send you my review.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I found this quite engaging. Never really looked at life through the eyes of a worm before.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
The format was perfect for this poem. It flowed and didn't need to rhyme throughout.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The description within the lines of this poem was what made it so captivating. I could follow each line.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I saw no grammar, spelling, or mechanical errors.
Suggestions:
The only thing I can write here is I wanted to read more. Which is truly a compliment to the writer. I loved it and enjoyed seeing life through a worm eyes.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing with WDC.
I couldn't stop laughing and just had to send this message to you. Thank you for sharing this. I so needed the humor today. Hope that one day you find whoever wrote it. They seriously need an incredible acknowledgment for this. :)
I found your poem on [Newbies]. I saw the title and it immediately touched my heart.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Just as I said above, it moved me and I knew I had to read it.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
This was short but packed a big emotional punch. I thought that the format was perfect for this piece.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The voice really came out here. I could feel every word. One could use their own imagination and go with it as you may.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
The only thing that caught me was the ending. I would have put I'm. Just a thought. But I know what you meant.
Suggestions:
Honestly, that is all I would have done is the above. I am partial to this poem. It moved me cause I lost my dad last year at 91 in a Senior Living Facility due to COVID. I was able to be with him but trust me it was hard to see him there dwindling even before COVID took him. But my brother and I never left his side and one of us were always there to see him at night and tuck him in. Even if it meant me flying every 5 weeks to do so.
Thank you for sharing your poem as you can tell it touched me. Great writing!
I found your story on [Read and Review]. The description caught my eye and I honestly couldn't help myself and had to read this.
Overall Impression:
What an amazing story. I am impressed with the details that lie within.
Plot:
I really thought this was a well-thought-out plot. I will honestly say though I saw the ending coming. Just the kindness in the bounty hunter and his mannerisms, I knew he would let him go.
Style and Voice:
The voice of the writer came through as we listened in the silence of Simmons. His thoughts became the thoughts of the author of this story. His feelings were his.
Scene/Setting:
The setting was immediately set and very well done. We were on the train with the lady and the boy, the bounty hunter and Simmons and all who passed by staring at this "murder".
Characters:
You spelled out these characters beautifully. The diction was southern and of course, the weather description cemented this.
Dialog:
The conversation with the fan lady and her son at the start showed compassion. The boys questioning was so real and of course the mom's response, typical and perfect placement. But the dialog with Simmons and Lucas this was prime and lead the story.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I found this story was solid in these two areas. It didn't skip a beat.
Suggestions:
I would honestly leave out the dialog with his brother. Have him just be looking at the photo and then looking out the window at where John would have run. Then continue your story. Just a thought. But overall I loved it and loved the ending. Hope you continue to write stories in this manner. You have such a knack for them. :)
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you continue to write more!
I found your poem on [Read and Review]. I was awestruck by the title and then couldn't stop myself from reading this lovely poem.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
What a start and the sudden rush I had when I saw that it was about the Titanic. Always love learning more about that tragic event.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
This poem held its own when it came to rhyming. I found it flowed smoothly from line to line and never skipped a beat. In fact, I caught on to the rhyming as I read it and it was right on the nose.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The imagery was clearly defined within. I knew about the construct of the ship, the carelessness and then reality enforced the law.. loved that part.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I saw no errors here.
Suggestions:
Honestly, I have no suggestions. I really liked it. I am not a poet but I do love reading great poetry and this one was up there. I find myself leaning towards that poetry that rhymes more than not. So this hit right on the mark.
I found your story on [Read a Newbie]. I just had to read this after reading the brief description. I was instantly intrigued.
Overall Impression:
This story did not disappoint. I liked the mystery that you created at the beginning of it. I especially enjoyed how you never lead on until the end what exactly was happening. Quite a great twist.
Plot:
I thought the plot was brought me to the story and kept me wanting to know more.
Style and Voice:
The style of the writing albeit a short story packed an amazing punch.
Scene/Setting:
One of the scenes that particularly stood out was the apartment with an ocean view. THAT was is will always be something I strive for before I leave this life.
Characters:
You set the characters up perfectly. There is still a bit of mystery as to what this gentleman looks like. Which also adds to the mystery.
Dialog:
Not a lot of dialog here which is good. What is present really forwarded each scene.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no flaws in the grammar or the mechanics of this story.
Suggestions:
I really did like this story. If I were to suggest anything I would add why she moved to
MA. Felt a calling? etc. Also, tell us more about his life now. He is worth developing more because he is such a great character that has searched for her for years.
Great storytelling!
Thank you for sharing this and I look forward to reading more!
I found your story on [Read & Review]. I really liked this story and wanted to share my feedback with you.
Overall Impression:
The tile of this caught my attention and then the story itself held it.
Plot:
What a great direction you took this prompt. I can see why it won.
Style and Voice:
Honestly, it was like I was there watching it all occur.
Scene/Setting:
It was really set up well.
Characters:
The characters were introduced quite well. Great descriptions.
Dialog:
I really liked the dialog it never skipped a beat and forwarded the story very well.
Grammar and Mechanics:
There was no problem with grammar throughout this story.
Suggestions:
I really felt that this story had such a heartwarming feel about it that it was hard to not want to read more. I would love to read more about Max and Carol and how they are doing now.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a great storyteller.
I found your poem on [Recent Items]. I chose it out of all the others because the title stood out and touched me straight away.
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was quite a gripping poem. It really hit me from the moment I started reading it. I am also married and have a very loving husband and would miss him tremendously if he were taken too soon.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
I didn't feel that this poem needed rhyming but where it was placed was appropriately placed. It moved from each line and shared an intimate story of the man who was missed.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I felt the voice here in every line. I liked the reference to "A shower, a breakfast, a gentle kiss goodbye" just reminded me of how I start my day with my hubby.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I see nothing wrong with the grammar, spelling, or mechanics of this poem.
Suggestions:
I honestly would like to read more about this loved one that was taken too soon. What are some of his characteristics? I know he was special by reading this but I would like to know more about his life and what he did. The true mark of a great writer is that you leave them wanting to read and know more.
I found your story on [Read and Review]. I really enjoyed reading it and wanted to give you some positive feedback.
Overall Impression:
I was pleasantly surprised being a short story you packed a lot in here. I really liked the setup and leading them over the wall. Really a fun story to read.
Plot:
The plot was entertaining and held my attention throughout.
Style and Voice:
I liked how you started from Andre's POV. I would want to read more from his side of things if you were to continue the story.
Scene/Setting:
I felt that you set the scenes up nicely. Your descriptions were easy to understand and laid out the whole battleground area with no confusion.
Characters:
I like the way you started this story. Andre's POV really hooked me in.
Dialog:
Not a lot of dialog was within this story except for the twist at the end. This was a perfect way to end the story.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I thought the layout of your story was what made the difference between a good or great one. You explained the other colony well and why it was important for the Drands to move.
Suggestions:
I would suggest changing your third line in the first paragraph and the first line in the second one to smooth it out. "They made peace with all the colonies nearby except one, the Bortes. The Bortes actually lived across the desert from the Drands."
I really liked this and hope that you continue it one day. You are a great storyteller and writer.
I am so glad I stumbled upon this beautifully written poem. I am not much of a poet myself but I love reading poetry that is well written. This was amongst my favorites. Each line I felt from the start. But the first one:
Before me, ever, lay
blank pages
upon which I may not write;
yet words fill my days
until night
closes the book.
This hooked me because I feel this way daily. I think words every day and help others find theirs but it is hard to find my own and have time to write them.
Thank you for sharing this and opening up your soul in this poem. I'd say you knocked this one out of the park. :)
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Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
