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1
1
Review of The Third Boon  
Review by Hidden Writer
In affiliation with  
Rated: GC | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
THE THIRD BOON

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Title
 
*Heart* That you gave the readers the heads up about the blue words and provided the dictionary at the end.
 
*Heart* Setting~
 
*Heart* Chapter two was action packed! And definetly has me thinking of what may happen.
 
*Heart*The spell in chapter four

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*Where is the inspiration from? Is this going to be continued?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote: "Ahh....!" the maid yelled ..."
*Check3*Should Be:I really do not think you need to write the sound of the scream.I think you should describe the scream as she is in pain. It's just repeating what you already said otherwise.
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"“At last, his defence has crumbled,” she exulted..."
*Check3*Should Be:if that is a thought itlaize it
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"... appeared to led Padma away..."
*Check3*Should Be:led-->lead

 
Overall Impression...
I love the setting/place you chose. I have never EVER come across a Medeivel India before and I was very excited to read about it.
In chapter two twowards teh end, the two characters that made me wonder most were: Jai Singh and the army commander. I first thought, uh oh she is going to get involved with this guy! And for the army commander...I detect trouble headed their way.
The way he chose to cast the spell was interesting and erotic! I hope it works if that is what she has to do!
*Bullet* the interesting title drew me in. I was curious as to what a boon is.
*Bullet* It is horrendous that in chapter one the poor girl was punished all because one hair broke when she was combing Padma's hair. It was chilling and sick but shows the true nature of Padma.

Overall I could not stop reading! That was an amazing story and I do hope you continue it! Great detail, story line,--it had everything in it!!
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2
2
Review of Last Moments  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Last Moments

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Good title/description
 
*Heart* Good, but sad, topic
 
*Heart* Good description
 
*Heart* Conversation
 
*Heart* Flow/pace

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*--None that I saw!

 
Overall Impression...
Sad, heart wrenching--yet powerfully moving and motiviating! The amount of love these two sisters had for each other beamed brightly in every word they spoke, in every touch, in every second they were together--even if it was just fictional.
Their emotions were raw but real. their conversations were real, something that woudl happen any day, any time. And the subject matter was very relatable.

I loved the place you chose to have them meet--they picture only enhanced it and made it more stunning in my mind! The ending was sweet; I liked the little angel and how it, and the meeting with Haven, brought closure to Julia.
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3
3
Review of Tanya  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Tanya

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Great description to draw people in to read your work
 
*Heart* *Heart* Love, love, LOVE Vampires!
 
*Heart* *Heart* *Heart* Refrence to Bella and Edward--that was great! it's a current thing and not worn out yet
 
*Heart* LOTS of detail in a perfectly delievered way

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*When will it be continued?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...seemed to twinkle in elation as well, above all those ..>"
*Check3*Should Be: I think the 'as well' slows it down so try: seemed to twinkle in elation above all those
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"Just that single word seemed to flow like music to Tanya's ears."
*Check3*Should Be: I think it should be reworded-slwo for me. Maybe like... Hearing her name on his lips played like a beautiful melody....Hearing him speak her name flowed to Tanya like music to a musician...maybe use a similie.
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"..when he spoke as well, as if rejoicing those words of his."
*Check3*Should Be: Again, slow and the as well made it choppy

 
Overall Impression...
Short and sweet--an interesting prologue. It definetly makes me crave the fruit of knowledge for what the heck happens with the two!
Your descriptions were excellent--not too much not too little--VERY good at show don't tell *Heart*

Other than above, I don't have any other suggestions! Although I do wonder of her appearance..how they met, where this is going etc etc
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4
4
Review of Spice  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Item's Title
Spice

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Cute story
 
*Heart*Section Titles
 
*Heart*Dogs
 
*Heart*Ending

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:" After Rahul’s latest outburst ..."
*Check3*Should Be:Rahul's-->Scott's
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...and shelter manager Steve’s passionate persuasion. "
*Check3*Should Be:manage, Steve's,
 
*Check2*You Wrote:".. had aroused Ria‘s protective ..."
*Check3*Should Be:Ria's -->Anna
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...stretched in contentedly on the .."
*Check3*Should Be: stretched contentedly

 
Overall Impression...
It was a cute story; I loved the dogs, their personality, their profile--very cute!
I reccomend that you make the section titles different--like bold, color etc them or something so that it makes more sense...I didn't understand at first, but afterwards it was really cute and I liked that a lot. I also like the ending a lot. Very cute that she ended up with Steve!
5
5
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (3.5)

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Item's Title
Diamonds are for Forever- or are they?

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Cute title/description
 
*Heart* Unique names/story
 
*Heart*Was quick and short but good

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*See below

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*I didn't see any
 
Overall Impression...
There weren't any grammatical errors, spelling, sentence structure, etc like that that I saw so that's a plus. I also liked the names of your characters; it was unique and cute. The story line was one that is often done--girl marries controling, self-absorbed guy and meets new guy she's really into, so she has an affair. Classic, but you added some uniqe touches and made it your own.
You have a good beginning to your story and it was enjoyable, I'll give you that. However, I felt like the story was missing parts.
One thing, where are the descripitions? What do your characters look like, especially the man she's having an affair with. You don't have to, but you could go into detail abit in their love affair to show how or why he's so great in her mind.
Next, the missing parts. Towards the ending, you have your MC go home from the affair then she's suddenly leaving her friend's house. What happened there? It happened sooo fast that I was like woah-how did that happen? I thought I missed something. I reccomend adding detail there.
But by the way, the strategy the girls use is very good--that's very uniqe and very clever =)
Lastly, so did Tina tell the husband about the affair? Why did Tina keep the necklace?
6
6
Review of Agent Baby  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Item's Title
Agent Baby

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*title/description
 
*Heart*Content
 
*Heart*Grasshopper and baby!
 
*Heart*the clown
 
*Heart*funny

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*None--you write pretty well prof!

 
Overall Impression...
A very cute and funny story! I laughed and enjoyed every word of it. My favorite parts were the baby eating the grasshopper, and the clown incidents!
Haha, the whole 'agent' theme was cute and added to the story and made it more enjoyable/likeable to teh reader.
I think it would be very interesting to know what babies are really up to!
One thing i wondered...why wasn;t there any interaction between agent baby and the other kids?
7
7
Review of Glass Lovers  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Item's Title
Glass Lovers

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Title
 
*Heart*Imagery
 
*Heart*Content
 
*Heart*Plot

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*Inspiration came from...?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"As the stork went up on her shelf, she overheard a conversation"
*Check3*Should Be:period after conversation
 
*Check2*You Wrote: "Ir's you, isn't it?" asked the ceramic duck.
*Check3*Should Be:It's
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"Can a crystal stork and a ceramic duck find hapiness?"
*Check3*Should Be: happiness

 
Overall Impression...
This was a sad story at first that ended with the two lovers being brought together even if it was through being broken.
The story, when it started, and up until the two 'animals' were moved to a new place, reminded me somewhat of an old, married couple. They love each other and are fully, completely devoted to each other but...they don't act like it. They don't touch, they don't laugh, they don't speak...they co-exist around each other YET are fully aware of each other's presence.
You did an amazing job on "Show, don't tell"--I do believe I turned green with envy when I first read the first paragraph. I was like "wow...I can totally see it."
what little speech there was, was adequate and fit the situations well. I loved that while the 'animals' could always see each other, they never spoke or anything. yet...they were together and happy.
Pretty good all around and it was romantic, sad, dramatic. A good story all around *Heart*
8
8
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Different and Cool-Part 5

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Good speach the two made
 
*Heart*Good reactions
 
*Heart*Good ending

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*Didn't see any this round
 
Overall Impression...
Quick chapter--very cute picture at the end!! I *Heart* it! Tarah is just so cute; I think she is by far my fave out of the bunch.
I liked that you did this book in parts--each day was a chapter; that was really unique when coupled with the assignment and the events that happened. Really nice!
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9
9
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Different and Cool-Part 4

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Good events and convo
 
*Heart*Mari scene

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"..Tarah was least liked person .."
*Check3*Should Be:the least liked

 
Overall Impression...
I recommend that you italzie their thoughts instead of (); it works better.

You did well again on showing how teenagers act--especially with the notebook thing; that is so childish yet very typical of teen boys.
I liekd that you had he and Mari talk--he wasn't even nervous or anything! Now...am anxious to the see the ending
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10
10
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Different and Cool-Part 3

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Love the title, by the way--fits really well
 
*Heart* haha bathroom scene

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*-None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"OOutside Starlight Jr. High, there was..."
*Check3*Should Be:Outside
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...small hallways of thge complex, ..."
*Check3*Should Be:the

 
Overall Impression...
I think you chose well by having Andy open up to Tarah about his parents; I also think you did well on showing their emotions and actions after they kissed, well she kissed him. Very teen like.
The boys in the locker room was hilarious; I laughed so hard mainly b/c it reminded me of a time my friends and I did the same thing! Haha, they never tried to get back in there...
Good job
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11
11
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Different and Cool-Part 2

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Sad thing is, I could soooo picture the total chaos such an assignment can produce! haha
 
*Heart*Good dialouge
 
*Heart*Nice events/incidents/action

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*Where are Andy's parents?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"It's was bad they were losing; the teacher..."
*Check3*Should Be:Not sure what you were trying to say?
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...his accession of his friends' fancies...and into a fancy all his own..."
*Check3*Should Be:I believe you mean fantasies not fancy? fancies-->fantasies, fancy->fantasy

 
Overall Impression...
Once again, not too many errors in grammar/spelling etc. You're pretty decent at that. Your characters are becoming more developed so and their personalities shine through each scene they are in.
Did I miss something about what happened to Andy's parents?

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12
12
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Different and Cool-Part 1

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Cute little Tarah *Heart*
 
*Heart*Interesting subject
 
*Heart*I like the subject of the assignment

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*--Didn't see any!
 
Overall Impression...
Good character development; their personalities came out strongly in the little that was provided. There was good conversation flow, veyr typical of teens, good content.
I think every teen should be given that assignment from Clark and see what they do...that would be interesting.
You also created relatable moments that probably everyoen has witnessed like the spitballs--I have to say I have seeen that quite a few times in my life lol
I'm interested to see where this little project/story goes...
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13
13
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
The killer and the cave

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Good way to show their friendship--how you said they fought a lot and then showed it
 
*Heart*LOTs of action! good job on that!

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*Wait---so the guy that killed them is from the very meeting they all attended?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...at risk and neither I am going.."
*Check3*Should Be:am I
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...ever stopped to think what the ..."
*Check3*Should Be:stop
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...good this search do for you?"
*Check3*Should Be:has this

 
Overall Impression...
I suggest showing abit how they felt during the fight...were they scared? sick to their stomach? nervous, anxious? etc
I do love the ending--And they fell! Awesome! I hope they fell to the right place!
Good chapter...nice twist with the red head guy, didn't see that one coming!
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14
14
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Diem

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Interesting idea
 
*Heart*I *Heart* the name Diem
 
*Heart* I *Heart* the spell she did; that was a cute idea!

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*See below

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"... me the silence treatment.."
*Check3*Should Be:silent
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"Diem at her brother, mad. She fell to her bed, frustrated."
*Check3*Should Be:Don't do that. SHOW how he is mad, SHOW how she is frustrated...that's bad to keep writing it that way. It makes your writing appear weak.

 
Overall Impression...
I don't remember reading the first chapter so I am a little confused...
Despite that, you should detail the mission a bit to let the reader in on it a little more. You need to work on SHOW as well; SHOW DON'T TELL!! That's the most important thing ever to learn as a writer! Show how she was mad, how she felt, how everyone you mentioned felt. How did the mansion look? was it huge, small, purple, green, brick, wood, did it have towers, how many floors? Etc...see where I'm going?
I do think you have a good idea here so keep writing...just show more.
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15
15
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Racial Discrimination

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Nice examples used
 
*Heart*Good 'voice'
 
*Heart*Point/opinion clear

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*This piece is focused on observations from Taiwan, correct?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"I would like to talk about racial discrimination, which stood out notoriously in the history."
*Check3*Should Be:Might sound better if you just say something like "Racial discrimination has stood out notoriously throughout histroy." We already know what you are goign to talk about so you don't need to say "I would like to talk..."
 

 
Overall Impression...
Let me start off by saying that I agree with you that discrimination will never be rid of. It will always exist no matter what the people of this world do. I also agree that people shoudl learn not to sterotype people just by their race. An example would be 911--ALL muslims/Arabics etc are clumped into the 'terrorist' category b/c of it and it isn't right...
anyway, good right--you did well on getting your point across; your view/opinions were clear and you had agood strong voice.

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16
16
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Looking for adventure

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Awesome description in the opening paragraph
 
*Heart*I liked the characters a lot
 
*Heart*Storyline

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*"...He rolled his eyes and knocked again.
sounded inside the house. The doorknob ..."
What?

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*--Didn't see any
 
Overall Impression...
***If you are going to use hyphens to signal speech come up wiht a better system..it looked messy

Awesome story idea! It was very unique, one I haven't come across before! Right away you started with the drama--who is this hooded figure adn where is he going? answered of course, but really good job on peeking the interest of the reader.
Good job all around!
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17
17
Review of BUTTERFLY WINGS  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awww very sweet! Too bad that fairy doesn't really exist--could use that these days! However, if it were always lollypops, gum drups, and rainbows I don't think the world woudl be as fun...It might get a little dull--the drama, bad things, keep us moving on. How else would we learn from our mistakes you know? Even though a LOT of bad things happen, like the things the fairy inyour poem want to heal and/or get rid of, they help us out b/c they teach us lots of things on a daily baisis that I don't think we'd learn in a perfect world.
Anyway, good poem--flowed well, made me feel and smile. I didn't see any errors and found it to be a very sweet poem! Gooooooooood job ma'am!
BTW, you said non-rhyming but some end words in each stanza did rhyme! haha, nice job for unintentional =)
18
18
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
The Charm Bracelet

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Love the cat
 
*Heart*The bracelet sounds beautiful
 
*Heart*I liked the situation--girl wanting inspiration, it was acute and unique way played out
 
*Heart*Good ending

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question***See at the end about Alice
 
*Question***The ending, see below

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*--None that I saw--you write very well

 
Overall Impression...
Was a cute story; I personally didn't find it chilling just interesting. I have seen this kind of thing done before dozens of times, the part about the shop being at the end of the alley one night and the next it's gone...that's done a lot. I know the prompt for this round b/c I had thought about entering myself so I think you did a good job at using the prompt in a unique way. I did like the ending with the cat walking away-that was cute. *Heart*
Onto my confusions/questions...
You said that Alice was exotic looking...but how? You didn't describe her at all really.
You wrote "A sudden shiver crept down Elena's spine as something unpleasant dawned on her." BUT you didn't explain it...what's with that?
So does the narrarotor have insipration still? Does she write on? What happens wiht the cat/woman?
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19
19
Review of Rat  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Rat

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*What a starter--while rather disgusting to read about it was a good starter for some odd reason lol
 
*Heart*" I wouldn’t mind, but he’s a human tampon - in for one day and out for a month." haha made me laugh =) Great analogy

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None really

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...to the stage were I’m going to come ..."
*Check3*Should Be: were-->where
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...good look with that one..."
*Check3*Should Be:look->luck
Other than those, you write very well.

 
Overall Impression...
A couple suggestions firsst off...find a better way to seperate your paragraphs...maybe try doouble spacing or something, even in the paragraphs. It was hard to read all srunched together like this. Also, whenever your character speaks or maybe thinks like for instance "Oh Fuck. I pray, please god, not here." You should italize it.
And one more thing, I don't know how other females on the site feel but the "C" word in any tense is rather offensive.

While this story was interesting at times, I am not sure what the point was, what the message was that you were trying to send.
I found Tony to be an arrogant jerk and I detested him the whole way through lol However, he as well as the rest were believeable in their charcters. The situations presented are also believeable and ones that happen on a daily basis I'm sure. So it was a 'real' story; relatable to some.
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20
20
Review of Secret Admirer  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Secret Admirer

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*Interesting title and description
 
*Heart*Great story line
 
*Heart*LOVE the ending

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*--Didn't see any...
 
Overall Impression...
Well that was certinaly emotional and ...devastating! Wow! I didn't see that ending coming but it fit great! I liked that you ended with teh Romeo and Juliette quote although clearly that was NOT their relationship.
I liked the little girl with a crush fantasy thing that was going on--the whole ,he says one thing but the girl hears what she desires him to say...I think everyone has gone through that BUT not the ending lol
Good story!
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Review of Discarded  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
Discarded

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*LOL--first have to say, random story idea but it worked great!
 
*Heart*the story line
 
*Heart*conversation that really wasn't a convo between teh dress and the girl

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*None

 
Overall Impression...
Nice unique story!! I've never come across one one like that--I loved the dress in the closet and even though you couldn't heaer what was said on the phone, one could draw conclusions adn it was pretty typical of a teen. Been there done that, fun till it's over.
No suggestions of change really, thought it was well written and thorough.
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Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
Item's Title
A Spirited Heart

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart* Great title and description--drew me in quickly as to what was going to be happening in this story.
 
*Heart*I lOVE the beginning; it was a PERFECT example of show, don't tell.
 
*Heart*The plot is typical/classic however you made it unique with the characters and situations.

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*---None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...struck fool?” demand Russell ..."
*Check3*Should Be:demanded
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"... have sure a beautiful .."
*Check3*Should Be:sure->such
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"..himself and asked for permission..."
*Check3*Should Be: ask
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...he was well build, I can tell that he is use to working outside..."
*Check3*Should Be:built...used to

 
Overall Impression...
Seems like a good start to the romance...I've read a similar book before but, as I said above, you have made it unqiue and your own story.
Where was teh descrition of the beautiful Izzy? You said she was very beautiful and all but yet you didn't show how she was?
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23
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
 
Item's Title
Yesterday's Child

 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
*Heart*It was interesting pretty much the whole way through so I was able to read it quickly and stay interested, hungry for more.
 
*Heart*Awesome plot
 
*Heart*Loved the ending/Les

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*--None

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"how much more can I loss? Can ..."
*Check3*Should Be:loss-->loose
 
*Check2*You Wrote:" I have to get make to the hospital."
*Check3*Should Be:get to the

 
Overall Impression...
I really liked this story. It is very typical of the time period but you made it your own; you took a classic story, tweaked it in all the right spots and made it unique. My favorite part was when Les came in and told her he was going to bethe father and all. It takes a brave, strong man to do that and he became an amazing father to all their children. I don't ahve any suggestions of change or anything; it was really good.
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Review of I Never Left  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
 
Item's Title
I Never Left

 
 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
 
*Heart*The title is strong and gives the fortelling of something bad
 
*Heart*the description made me laugh and I just had to read it, especially with what you wrote
 
*Heart*I love how you wrote this; flows great
 
*Heart* the poem/riddle you added at the end

 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
*Question*I am curious as to what you made you write this

 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
*Check2*You Wrote:"Of Course you..."
*Check3*Should Be:Course-->course
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"Some Kind of monster..."
*Check3*Should Be:Kind-->kind
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"...ith a smile to wide to fit your screens.."
*Check3*Should Be:too wide to
 
*Check2*You Wrote:"What a riddle Am I."
*Check3*Should Be:am

 
Overall Impression...
Wow. That is a very powerful and moving story. It may be short but it is straight to the point; a point that is delievered powerfully. I like how you chose different, classic monsters to compare hate to such as vampires. That really added a personal touch.
But my favorite part was the ending where you did the riddle/poem. You wrote that very well and althought it's the sad, grim truth, it was great!
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Review of I don't know yet  
Review by Hidden Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello fellow WDC Member! Something about this particular work of yours has caught my attention and I decided to review it to share with you my thoughts. Please remember that the following is only opinion; take from it what you will. I mean no offense and apologize for any taken.
 
 
Item's Title
I don't know yet

 
 
*Smile* My Favorite Parts *Smile*

 
 
*Heart*Good details in the beginning of the type of sorrow she felt; it made me feel
 
*Heart*cute names; although Cayden isn't as rare as hers

 
 
*Question* Questions or Confusions *Question*

 
 
*Question*I'm puzzled as to where this story is going...

 
 
*Cut**Paste**Cut* Some Fixings *Cut**Paste**Cut*

 
 
*Check2*--None that I saw, you wrote very well

 
 
Overall Impression...
It was a good story; lots 'show, don't tell' detail and such, however I am puzzled as to where it is going.
One can gather by the way Aurora acted that she is in an abusive relationship. One can forsee that Cayden may perhaps have a roll in her future; maybe he helps her get away?
regardless, come up with a title...i suggest something to do with struggles, or overcoming a great battle. Maybe "The Rising of Aurora" or "Aurora's Rising"
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