Hello! I'm Hidden_Writer and as a member of "Invalid Item" and it's Reviewer's Club, I am here to review your work! Please remember that the following is strictly opinion. You are in no way obligated to listen to what I have to say--YOU are the best judge of your work! Thank you very much for your time.
Your Item's Title: Romance
What I liked best...
the subject: beautifully written
the title: short and sweet
wording: easy to read and to feel
Confusions/Questions...
--none
Grammar/Spelling Corrections and Suggestions...
--none
Overall Impression...
You did a really great job on this. It was short and sweet. You did a good job on showing the man's feelings for this woman--even if it were just their first date. It also captures the essence of falling in love and how it feels. "Show don't tell" was evident here--especially when you described her putting on make up and later on in the paragraph about her smell and shape.
It was a really sweet, and lovely piece. Great, great job!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Very nicely done. I liked the idea of having Clara go shopping with only one dollar and how she debated about wanting to spend it--i really liked the man and the 100 dollars part. That was really sweet =)
I think overall my two favorite parts were
"" I know a dollar ain't much to spend for all the kids, but it is all and then some we can afford."
"She couldn't tell him now but Christmas, yes, at Christmas, she could give him the best present he'd ever had!"
Really touching and heartfelt. You did a really great job on this! Good luck!
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: The day the dragons arrived
What I Liked...
"...they started to invade our ‘urban jungle’." Very cute! ending sentence kind of like...wowed me subject was awesome content
Questions/Confusions...
The second paragraph is one huge run on sentence that can be fixed easily.--lots of them all over that need fixed
Editing...
You Wrote: "...dark day for us all, we didn’t expect it in the least." change the comma to a semicolon
You Wrote: "... last option once there homes..." there-->their
You Wrote: "...may farms had there..." may->many there->their
You Wrote: "...were wrong but to there dismay..." there--> their
You Wrote: "..from there night duties." there--> their
Overall Impression...
Once again, I think you have a really really great idea here. Other than grammar and thigns mentioned above, it's good. I didn't expect your little ending there but that was really great.
I think you are going to do just great here on WDC! =)
can yah say creapy? wow lol it definietly gave me chills and made me think twice abotu some of the loners in my community.
i really liked the flow and pace of this short story. You did it really well. Keeping the theme of "gift of nature" was done really well; you chose things that would demenstrate it adn did so well.
My favorite part----> "Not nearly enough to be seeing talking animals." that made me laught =)
Cute--I agree on the prompt part. However, everyonce in a while a good prompt comes around that stirs my creativitiy and makes me want to write about it.
Just curious, what were the prompts she had to choose from? Never did say...
Overall, it was cute and simple. I think everyone can relate to not being able to write when forced; it isn't fun. Cute, simple details like the memories of "warrior princess...mermaids..." painted picuteres and remined me of my past. Great.
hahaha that was great! I had a zillion ideas of what the power could be but I never thought of time! Man, wouldn't all mothers love that ability?
You created an entertaining, cute, and relateable story--minus the ability to freeze time lol
You did a good job on show, don't tell. I liked the part about bringing in Spider man and all that--very cute touch that made it your own.
There aren't any errors in spelling or grammar that I could see; you seem to be very good at that. =)
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: The Sandbox of Eden
What I Liked...
cute story the part about imagination at the end the turtle sandbox! i LOVE them!
Questions/Confusions...
--none
Editing...
--none
Overall Impression...
Seriously cute. I could relate to that time when i had the little turtle sandbox--i loved that thing! lol I liked the ending most though when the grandfather and Timmy talked about imagination and it being real ande verything---that was super cute and great.
I think as adults we "grow up" and it's not always for the best. My fave quote is: "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional" and I think we should all take that to heart and remember to have a little fun now and then, to let our minds go crazy.
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: Growing Up
What I Liked...
Very nice story great plot good storyline/wording great flow/pace
Questions/Confusions...
--none
Editing...
Overall Impression...
Very relateable although the snake part gave me creeps because I am terrified of the little creatures. But i thought it wasa really sweet story.
I related most to the part about the mom wanting peace and quiet--my sisters and i were like that a lot. We actually had a pond too that we would all go down to. So I can relate to that too.
Anyway, I really liked it--especially the end with the special bond part. Godo job =)
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: The Last Ten Seconds
What I Liked...
I see talent runs in the family... Great flow/pace Great wording Great subject
Questions/Confusions...
--none
Editing...
---none
Overall Impression...
My first thought is wow. So short but it delievers a powerful message. It was a really great piece and I thought that the way it was delievered made it all the beter. You didn't focus on details, which can be bad sometimes, instead you made it your own. You took an everyday occurence and made it something that shows hope and faith. Great job!
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: Nita from Nowhere
What I Liked...
"Ever changing, sparking, dying out, only to catch and burn again, needing oxygen, craving attention." very good =) The first paragraph felt poetic to me. =) Good emotion; made me feel it Good "show, don't tell"
Questions/Confusions...
"... flames knew what life next held in store for her." The wording confused me...I understood after a few reads, but maybe you could rephrase it?
Editing...
--none---
Overall Impression...I thought this was an exceptional, emotional piece. I don't know if it's personal or not, but you deliever it with such emotion and power that it feels like it came straight from experience. I knew as soon as I got to the paragraphs about being different that Nita was adopted. You did a really good job; it was touching, hearfelt, sad. But it was also empowering and loving. Great job =)
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it.
Your Work's Title: It Was Decided
What I Liked...
Cute story. Good flow/pace Good wording Good presentation-through a child's eyes
Questions/Confusions...
I didn't think that "It was decided." fit at the end. Felt like too much.
How old is Amelia?
Editing...
---none--
Overall Impression...
A really cute story. I thought you delivered it well as children would see it. Everything fit; the wording, delievery, storyline, and how you carried it out. I don't really have any critiqueing suggestions--it looks supberb to me! Great job!
This was really touching. I love how you went about talking about what is love. The examples were great, created images and times when I had been in that situation.
My favorite line:Every decision you make should be done not for you, but with that special person in mind, for the secret to true love is that you love your partner more than you do yourself.
I think personally that "I love you" is overused and people should really think about it before they use it. It means something, it really does, and it isn't something to throw out there in order to get something. And i htink that your work captures that essence.
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name:It's all Hallows Eve
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
title the ghosties and ghoulies pace
Confusions/Questions...
--none
Editing/Suggestions...
--none
Overall Opinion...
I really liked the werewolf prowling. Kind of creapy. I also liked the part about for a trick or treat as the creature's desire. Over all it was really great! Keep it up!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: The Midnight Hour
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
the bell subject content
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
You wrote: "I walked thru night, black and cold," thru shoudl be through You wrote: "..tho most nights I.." though
--there's acoupel through/though's
Overall Opinion...
Good job--the bell tolling was my favorite part. It added to story and made it kind of creapier. Good job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Grandpa's Scary Secret
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
My gray hair displays the fright---made me laugh! chilling/creepy pace flow wording
Confusions/Questions...
--none
Editing/Suggestions...
--none
Overall Opinion...
chilly~ definietly makes me wonder about my realitives being his biggest fan! lol i thought you did areally good job on showing the fright the narrarotor felt--basically show dont tell--great job all together
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Roses
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
The very first sentence was chilling the whole thing was chilling great story good pace great imagery
Confusions/Questions...
what's the creature?
Editing/Suggestions...
---none
Overall Opinion...
A very chilling, sad, and entertaining tale. I really liked it. Gave me chills, had me glancing at the shadows in my house, but great none the less. =)
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name:Phantom Of The Hallows
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
I love pictures--this set the mood great topic creeeeepy pace wording
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
--none
Overall Opinion...
Over all, a really good job. I liked how you said to run just incase in the end. That was cute--most people would run anyway! Great job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Where Evil Dwells
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
Picture was cute and added to it evil dwells creeeeepy cute
Confusions/Questions...
--none
Editing/Suggestions...
--none
Overall Opinion...
I liked that you had the picture and it fit the poem. it was creepy and threatening but in a cute, good way. Great job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Halloween
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
cute way to share the origion of halloween it was historical/educational but cute
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
"... Iti s also for those..." it is
Overall Opinion...
Great job overall. You took history adn made it enjoyable. I really liked that you showed a couple different versions of where it may have come from. The one I was most familliar was with England so thanks for educating me in other areas! Great job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Trick or Treat
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
pace flow wording storyline simple description
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
---none
Overall Opinion...
For a dialouge piece that was really good! i usually don't read them since I like descriptions and what not, but I thought you presented it in a really great way that definitly held my attention adn gave me chills! great job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: BEWITCHED
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
My favorite line:Black cat screaming with delight
On this dark and moonless night. Great pace Rhyming was cute good wording nice theme
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
You wrote:--none
Overall Opinion...
please note poetry is not my forte.
I really enjoyed this poem. It was enjoyable to read, cute, and definitly fit the theme well. Great job!
Stephanie Grace has started a wonderful contest called Trick AND Treat where participants review like crazy! You are either on the list from October 24th to the 30th or I have decided to review you before/after those dates. Please remember that the following review is simply my opinion. No one understands your work like you and it is your choice to believe anything I say. With that regard, I hope you find something useful in my review.
Item Name: Halloween on a budget
What I Liked/Favorite Parts...
step by step process easy directions good ideas
Confusions/Questions...
---none
Editing/Suggestions...
You wrote: "... the bad and you..." bad-->bag You wrote:"No, we have ghosts..." no-->now
Overall Opinion...
Awesome ideas and I love that you are recyling items as well as it being super cheap. Especially with today. I really liked the idea of the ghosts--I'll have to try it.
Overall a really great idea and job!
Please, please, please remember that what follows is MY opinion. You don't have to listen to it. You asked for a review via my Review Request page so here I am.
Your Work's Title: The Promise
What I Liked...
The very first line is my favorite: "its mere utterance piercing the clouds of despair like a ray of sunlight on a dreary day." Great imagery Great flow/pace Great wording Great story idea and title
Questions/Confusions...
If I understood right, this piece refrences the Holocaust?
Editing...
If I understood the story right, it's about the Holocaust...so I don't really see the description fitting.
Overall Impression...
I really liked it--until the ending. It saddened me. As soon as I red the paragraph about the new job, I was like "Uh-oh this can't be good..." lol
I thought you did a great job at showing this from a child's view but also explaining it so we all could understand.
Great, great, great job!
Another great job.
My favorite part was this line : "It is nothing but mental torture
Like suicide"
It was simple but powerful!
You did a great job on delievering the horrible life homeless people have. You should do another poem about a homeless person rising above poverty...be interesting to see your take on it!
=) I thought you did a great job! It flowed well, rhymed a little here and there, and depicted a great story. Although poetry is far from being my forte, I thought you did an amazingly wonderful job! Keep it up and write on!
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Your Item's Title:
What I liked best...
the subject: beautifully written
Confusions/Questions...
Grammar/Spelling Corrections and Suggestions...
What I Liked...
"...they started to invade our ‘urban jungle’." Very cute!
Questions/Confusions...
The second paragraph is one huge run on sentence that can be fixed easily.--lots of them all over that need fixed
title