Oh boy, that certainly was a marriage that was never going to work. To be honest, I was rooting for Lauren - after all, it can't be easy to move 200 miles and give up everyone only to have your husband be unfaithful again. The lie changed everything though; that was really playing unfair, and what a tragic ending.
Beautifully written with convincing characters.
It was interesting the way you gave your two characters the same surname even though they were unrelated. A good choice of music for Bobbi to play. You did a good job of showing the competitiveness between them.
I noticed no spelling or grammar issues. Well-written.
You do a great job of showing the build-up of anxiety when a pet goes missing. As you described the poodle it was more and more obvious why there was such a worry. The discovery was one that really brought a smile, having a dog that is quite happy to hide under covers herself.
I can only imagine the shock and discomfort that Elizabeth must have felt. Already feeling drained by the funeral no wonder seeing her son so unexpectedly was so painful. Although I guess no time would be right to hear anther woman called 'Mom'.
Nicely written; no spelling or grammar issues that I was aware of.
Well, you certainly made the life of a princess one that perhaps wouldn't be envied, especially those early getting up times. I could see why she was fed up, but she certainly could not have expected to find herself being abducted.
Well written. A few oddly spaced lines but that was probably down to formatting issues.
This is a very emotional poem but a positive one too. It's not easy being the middle kid, or being one that stands out as being different. The temptation is always to try to fit in, to do something that maybe you don't want to do in an effort to fit in. You came to an excellent conclusion.
Wow, well this was a very hard-hitting story. Definitely a serious case of emotional abuse and dysfunctionality. I was starting to feel sorry for the lad, and how he was treated, but his plans, the violence of the murder... I ended up unsure.
Really well-written and the dialogue was perfect!
Oh, I loved how the thinking up of excuses created a genuine one - very clever. The excuses certainly seemed to get a bit crazier with each one, especially the knee. And then the final crowning moment - who could not attend when they are about to be made Queen.
I good story that brought a smile.
This sounds like it would have been quite an interesting workshop to take part in. I'm one of those that rarely plans although I have written a couple of 35000 to 50000 word pieces, just jotting down the odd sentence here and there of where I want to go. I think I would have enjoyed this as I love working to prompts.
Haha! Well, first off let me say thank you for giving me a good laugh. It's very impressive how you wrote this as it certainly made sense, and if it wasn't for those bold capitol letters I'd never have appreciated the real humor. So many different career advancements!
I see that you describe this as true - it must have been a real shock, one that would be hard to ever shake off. I liked the way you did not make out that every visit was happy, which might go some way to explain why there was no attempt to waken the grandmother. She looked happy - that's all any of us can hope for.
A very moving piece of poetry.
Wow, well this was some poem! Some very, very effective use of alliteration, more so because you did not overdo it. You brought in a lot of different gods from the past, all of which I recognized. My favorite verse has to be the one that begins: 'Woken willow winders!' - really strong writing.
This is a lovely piece of Christmas poetry. The green and the red font color was very effective, as were the little fir trees that you put between each verse. Excellent rhyming all the way through, and what a lovely little picture to finish it off.
Ha! Very inventive. A computer that actually funded its own upgrade! I had to laugh out loud at the computer's description of Dave -'a pathetic little flesh-bag'. There's one thing you might want to correct; on the second line you have 'here' instead of 'hear'.
Honestly, though, you've got me thinking what my modest laptop might be thinking about me.
Brilliant! I wish I could follow this story to the letter. No matter how much we do, how little others do, it is still up to us to do the laundry. I like the idea you finished with but I can't see that going anywhere here either. One thing though - socks! Do you have any idea where all the odd ones go, because even when I do all the laundry there are always so many solo ones.
This is a beautiful piece of poetry in praise of friendship, and it shows just how important that can be. I liked the short lines, and the variation of verse length but what I really, really liked was the final couplet. If only we could all have a friend like that!
This was a very unusual piece of poetry. It has an almost dystopian or apocalyptic feel to it. Excellent images of the volcano that took both father and brother from her. The loneliness and the threat she lives with are very clear, and the rhyming was excellent.
Ha! Well, I'm going to follow the instructions for the rating, but don't tell anyone - I actually enjoyed this. Okay, so the sardines was bad, but I loved the idea of the zombies invading the cinema to watch the superstar 'undead'. And who knows; maybe zombies really do love a good laugh!
I have to admit that I was somewhat relieved that I'm not seeking publication after reading this piece. There are so many hidden rules, plus piles of obvious ones too. I think you are right about that first sentence being crucial to getting a potential editor to read further.
This is one of those poems that takes the reader in one direction, then at the end leads them to another. Beautiful descriptions of nature, with the forest and the mountain, all the different things to see. I particularly liked the bears, and the compassion showed to them. This truly is a great example of how effective the imagination can be.
Wow, well that was a really passionate moment! Such beautiful descriptions of the jade nebula, those dancing flecks reaching up to kiss the moon (a fantastic image). I love the idea of the tiny infinity and the melding together, and I can well imagine the loss when that moment is over.
This actually comes across as quite a romantic piece of poetry. The voice is clearly one of loneliness and wants that to end. There is also a note of caution not to let the depression of the voice spread to the one spoken to. There is a commitment though, that love will be rewarded, in the sixth couplet.
Ha! Excellently concise! No matter how easy or how difficult the task, there is a definite tendency to push it away, put it off. At least there is in my house. I think it's really better to take this poem to heart and just grin and get on with it.
As you said - 'Few words, lot said'.
Thank you once again for introducing me to a new poetry form. This one sounds quite challenging, but also appealing. Beautiful descriptions of darkness and light, and the shadows that form and change. I particularly liked the idea of the 'unending waltz'.
This is an excellent poem with the message of 'act in haste, repent at leisure'. I doubt there are many of us that haven't heeded this advice, at least on occasion. I particularly liked the two lines about the letters, but it's not an easy thing to leave them unread.