This is a very beautiful piece of writing. You bring to life the family gathered around the table, their own skirmishes forgotten for the moment. I like the way that you make the curtain almost a kind of protective screen from outside events; the polar opposite to the way I viewed it.
I really enjoyed the way you used the wreck of a vehicle to talk about the way society as a group seems to be failing. It's a bit like the world needs an overhaul along with the car. Both are going to need a lot of care and attention if they are ever going to work smoothly again.
You are a true poet, HA.
This is a piece of poetry that I can really relate to. So much confusion, desperation, and yet still getting back up without not really understanding why.
As far as the actual structure, the short lines with the occasional long one works really well for this piece.
Well done for putting this feeling into words.
Oh, this was a real cautionary tale well told, Angus. I'll certainly be sure not to go driving through any deserts, and if I ever do and come across somewhere that shouldn't exist, I won't be stopping for anything. I liked the way you built the town up, one piece and one person at a time until the final moment of explanation.
A very effective piece of poetry you have here. That there is a lot of emotion involved you make very clear with that first line. Sort of makes me think of a poltergeist caused by the turbulence, until your final line that makes it seem that the haunting is one of memories.
A really entertaining read, with a bit of truth in it too. Sometimes no matter how much we have, we still get bored. The two sisters certainly sounded as though they wanted for nothing! Sally singing was almost like a tongue-twister to read aloud; a very effective piece of alliteration.
This is an incredibly relatable piece. Sometimes those tears seem like they'll never end and then it is just like they have run dry to leave nothing but the physical sensations and the misery which, in spite of them all, still remains.
Very well written to say just enough.
A beautiful piece of poetry. We have daffodils growing beside the house and it is quite surprising how early they begin to push their way up through the ground, year after year. We rarely get snow here, but there have been a few occasions when those green shoots have pushed their way through a blanket of white.
This captures the torment of a physical problem that takes a good while to be properly diagnosed. Then the relief that love can bring, along with a disappointment that was so hard to bear. But in the end there was survival and a coming to terms with things.
A good punchy read, almost angry in places, just like SLAM poetry should be.
This is a fantastic piece of poetry. And I'm glad I came across it today for it perfectly reflects the weather, right down to the rainbow. I love the short lines; they almost conjure up the raindrops. I loved the way you took me on a journey through the shower right from the beginning to its end.
This is really quite beautiful. There is something almost magical about the appearance of mist and you capture that feeling very well in this piece. From your genre list, I'm guessing that this is a capture of a glimpse from the past, a parent or grandparent whose face is similar.
Anyway, definitely haunting to read.
This was actually a really refreshing read. Perfect rhyme and meter, right up until that final word. I have to agree with you that these days anything goes; but that's a good thing, right? I actually enjoy writing both kinds of poetry and wouldn't like to see either disappear.
Anyway, well done for penning a poem that really brought a smile!
The descriptions in this piece are very striking. The ship with all the monitors, and the text streaming across them is very well done. The ending was pretty explosive, that's for sure!
Nicely told, with no spelling or grammar issues that I noticed.
This was a nice piece to read, a great introduction to two characters. She seems to be far more contained, constrained by what's right and wrong, while he seems to be brimming over with enthusiasm once he got started. A bit unsure though, or he would laugh off her criticisms more easily.
Very well-written. There were no grammar or spelling issues that I noted. All round, a good piece.
This is a lovely motivational piece, in praise of our own uniqueness. I guess the bear that featured was one of the polar kind, and to others, it's choice of habitat, its diet and behavior could certainly seem odd. But so what! This is so easily applied to people and their intolerance for anyone different.
This is a lovely piece, steeped in mystical magical folklore. I love the way you describe the thinning of the veil as between the 'here now and the just out of sight.' That's a nice way to think about it, a different reality so close and yet so far from our own. I really enjoyed meeting your characters too.
There is a lot to think about in this short piece. It is certainly true that we often expect poetry to be pleasant and beautiful, but some of the most effective poems are ones that deal with pain, especially when it is mental anguish being felt by the poet.
One thing that really struck a chord with me is: 'Not for you.For me.' I write a lot to try to understand or come to terms with things; sometimes a reader seems to get what I'm saying but there are plenty of times when I wonder what I could have said that was so misleading.
Anyway, this is a piece to be proud of.
Oh, boy, this is a really powerful poem. In those moments time really does seem to stand still. Tremendous description of both mother and father; the violence of the moment is so well described by those drops of blood.
The second verse really illustrates how others seem to be capable of being totally oblivious.
Well done with putting this into words.
I absolutely loved this, Angus, and whether you meant it or not, I'm going to take it as you did. The total feeling of celebration was obvious - and very understandable. Not that I live there, but I can well imagine the delight a lot of Americans would feel at the deposing of 'The Donald!'
This was an interesting piece to read. In parts it seemed to be quite informative; there were certainly some cloud facts included. From the way you used anger in the description, I was picturing a thunder cloud way before it actually rumbled.
One part that really brought a smile: 'Here I am scatter-winded'. What a great way to explain becoming diverted.
This is very nicely done. The room that is so familiar and yet is not quite right is described very well. The identical friends that are gathered is kind of surreal, as is the image of the man that is walking by, apparently unaware of all the attention he is getting.
There is a lot of creepy atmosphere in this piece. I loved how you described the spider's slow journey down the tree, and over the abandoned toy. Along with the creepiness, there is an air of neglect; perhaps a sudden abandonment. You don't say why, but there is a hint of tragedy in your final four lines.
Excellent poetry, HA.
This was a story that drew me straight in with the descriptions of the old, neglected house. It was when you started to describe the books that the creepiness really began, culminating in those sounds. I wonder whether demolition would see the end of it, though.
A gloriously Gothic tale!
A very descriptive piece of seasonal poetry. Although we don't get a lot of snow here I could still really appreciate the pictures that your words painted. Of course, not all of those descriptions included snow; the cold and the leafless trees were personally relatable to me.
A poem that makes me want to curl up in front of the fire with my laptop.