Long time, no see! It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted at "The Pink Fluffy Unicorn Contest" 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "chasing bunnies" as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .
✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Glad to see you visibly writing again! 😂 It's been too long. Now, as to your poem. Love it. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. 🤣 The one thing that did jump out at me was a lack of reference to a unicorn. Bob's reference was for the "best poem possible about Unicorn(s) and The Easter Bunny (or any rabbit)." You may want to add that somewhere.
I think your approach to the rabbit side of the prompt was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. That you incorporated the tiny details that bring the scene to life within the form - brilliant. Very creative.
✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.
🔹 Title - "chasing bunnies." I thought your title was intriguing. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.
🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.
🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Its popularity stems from the belief that free verse is poetry without rules; after all, it doesn't rhyme (often 😄), and it doesn't have a meter. However, what separates poetry from prose is the arrangement of carefully chosen words into verses. Free verse done well will have rhythm, though it may not have a regular beat. There may be patterns of sound and repetition. Free verse can be compared to a song that doesn't rhyme. There is still a lyric quality to it. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry in this. Well done.
✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
A very enjoyable read. The storyline is unique and interesting and I really enjoyed it. 5 stars for the story; 3 stars for losing the unicorn down the rabbit hole. 😋 Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.
Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.
Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,
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