|Hi L.A. Grawitch
It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS " poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Serving with Honor" as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .
✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to the members of our armed forces that reminds each of us how much we have and how much we owe. Our soldiers have nobly fought to protect freedom since our country's birth, and have fought to protect those that could not protect themselves, even in foreign lands when called upon.
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for those that protect us. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!
✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.
🔹 Title - "Serving with Honor." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used it brilliantly to amplify your meaning and set up the scenario for your poem.
🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.
🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt that this was missing the flow that poetry has and felt it was very prose-like. That said, Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.
✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
A very emotional read. I personally found it moving and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.
Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.
Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,
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