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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/huntersmoon
Review Requests: OFF
3,076 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
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Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Mastiff

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "I Write in 2019 as your Week 24 entry. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Summers of Dissatisfaction. Just as a suggestion - if you're going to enter a lot of little contests or regularly enter in a short one (such as 25 words or 24 Syllables), consider creating a book. It will hold up to 100 entries and only count as one item in your port.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
What a colorful take on the working side of Summer. πŸ˜€ OK - I'm retired so I see it a bit differently. 🀣 A different take on the "what Summer means to you" but that's the wonder of writing. We all have different experiences. I do hope that you get a vacation break soon. "All work and no play..." πŸ˜€

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very interesting read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Too Dang Hot  
In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed. 😁 Darn, Ben! Where have you been? I've missed these little gems you dot the site with. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Too Dang Hot.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Perfect form (of course) and a light and sweaty airy tone makes this a fun read. It's about a week late for where I live but it certainly reflects where we were just a short time ago! *Laugh* Luckily, this isn't climate change - it's just "very bad weather." *Rolling*

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous and fun read. Thank you for sharing your journey of off-kilter humor, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Honoring You  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi LegendaryMasK❀

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Honoring You as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to those who have served and a strong statement of devotion to the values they stand for.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Honoring You." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I appreciate that you added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt that this was missing the flow that poetry has and felt it was very prose-like. That said, Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very moving read. I personally found it touching and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
for entry "Outside the VA Clinic
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tinker

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Poems for Poet's Place Cafe - Outside the VA Clinic - as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to our veterans and the close bonds they have across age, disability, and wars. While not exactly what I was expecting πŸ˜€ it was nonetheless a moving tale and one I salute you for writing!

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for those who've served. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Outside the VA Clinic." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt the flow that poetry in this. As Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very captivating and unexpected read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi IceSkating SugarCube

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Still, The Soldiers Fight Today as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to those who've paid for the freedom we enjoy. Thank you for including those who have died not on the battlefield but from the service to their country.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Still, The Soldiers Fight Today." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. While I appreciate that added promotion of the contest, I think you could have added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in a Quatrain form with an abcbd rhyme. The refrain line was very effective. While the meter varies, it didn't seem to affect the smooth flow. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. πŸ˜‚

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very fulfilling read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi J.L. O'Dell

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "HOW TO HONOR VETERANS as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A strong statement of devotion to the values that many veterans feel in their hearts.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "HOW TO HONOR VETERANS." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you could have added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem but it definitely underscores the contents!

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in a Quatrain form with an abcb rhyme (mostly πŸ˜„). While the meter varies, it didn't seem to affect the flow. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. πŸ˜‚

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very interesting read. While I personally disagree with some of the things you've said, I really enjoyed seeing your perspective and understand the feelings you've shared. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi L.A. Grawitch

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Serving with Honor as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to the members of our armed forces that reminds each of us how much we have and how much we owe. Our soldiers have nobly fought to protect freedom since our country's birth, and have fought to protect those that could not protect themselves, even in foreign lands when called upon.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for those that protect us. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Serving with Honor." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used it brilliantly to amplify your meaning and set up the scenario for your poem.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt that this was missing the flow that poetry has and felt it was very prose-like. That said, Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very emotional read. I personally found it moving and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "A Spectacular Display as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
What's not to love about this? *BigSmile* Just the thought of the firework displays - both great and small - around the 4th of July is enough to bring a big smile on anyone's face along with a flood of happy memories.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a memory and a feeling of the wonder that we all have as kids and adults. That makes this both unique to you and a shared experience. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "A Spectacular Display." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used it brilliantly to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings about the event as well as provide a visual sense of what you were seeing. Each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written as a traditional Rondeau. I appreciate that the Rondeau has no set meter and I thought your choice of a Fourteener was unique. It does take several readings to really get into the flow since most are used to tetrameter or pentameter. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. πŸ˜‚

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very fun and visual read. I personally found it brought back a lot of memories as well as feelings of excitement and I really enjoyed it. My hesitation in giving this 5 stars is really more about the subject. While you did mention patriotism in the second verse, I think the overall poem was really geared toward the display rather than the meaning of it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Monty

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS poetry/short story contest. A saluting smiley. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "STAR SPANGLED BANNER as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to our flag and a strong statement of devotion to the values it stands for.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Star Spangled Banner." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. πŸ˜„ If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. While I appreciate that added promotion of the contest, I think you could have added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in a Quatrain form with an abcb rhyme. While the meter varies, it didn't seem to affect the smooth flow. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. πŸ˜‚

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very captivating read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of The Notes  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi PastorJuan

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "24 Syllables in response to the prompt "staccato." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "The Notes.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Great response! I really enjoyed how you wove your message into this - how disparate parts can come together to create something more than... One suggestion: if you're going to keep entering, create a book. You can put up to 100 of these mini-poems in it and it still only counts as one item in your port.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very enlightening read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Clickity Clack  
In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "24 Syllables in response to the prompt "staccato." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Clickity Clack.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
What a great response! Of course! Skateboarders! I should have been as clever as you and thought of it first. πŸ˜‚ Okay, maybe not. I was never a "sidewalk surfer" even in my youth. 🀣 Us real surfers always looked down on them. πŸ˜‚ 🀣 A perfect response. One suggestion: if you're going to keep entering, create a book. You can put up to 100 of these mini-poems in it and it still only counts as one item in your port.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very fun and memory inducing read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming, Susan!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of The TEACUP  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi J.L. O'Dell

It's me, Ken. *Blush* Yes, I'm slow as s*** when it comes to catching up on the reviews I owe. My apologies but life keeps getting in the way. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "The TEACUP as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Wow. What an imaginative and creative story! It's not complicated, instead relying on the every day for the drama and mystery woven into this engrossing tale. So, two questions come to mind after reading this: Did the gifts continue? Which Goodwill was it exactly? πŸ˜‚ 🀣

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I found this sooo creative and imaginative. Excellent.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "The TeaCup." After reading your story, I thought your title was perfect. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. You used it to that end adding a mysterious element to your story - and, you didn't disappoint. 😁

πŸ”Ή Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen but I'd have been surprised if there had been.

πŸ”Ή Narrative/Dialogue - I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and fleshed out the story nicely.

πŸ”Ή Effective Story Telling - You did well! Nice background setting the scene, introducing the plot device and mysterious elements, and concluding the story with a nice ending while still leaving the reader wanting more.

πŸ”Ή Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and I love that there was a message about kindness woven into it. Good stories always imply a moral and you did that with a subtle but deft hand. One suggestion: Add {size:4} at the top. This will make the font larger and will open the page up. It also makes for easier reading - especially for us geezers πŸ˜…. The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very creative and entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the contest,

Ken

Outstanding Reviewer Award


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of chasing bunnies  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Rhyssa

Long time, no see! It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted at "The Pink Fluffy Unicorn Contest 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "chasing bunnies as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Glad to see you visibly writing again! πŸ˜‚ It's been too long. Now, as to your poem. Love it. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. 🀣 The one thing that did jump out at me was a lack of reference to a unicorn. Bob's reference was for the "best poem possible about Unicorn(s) and The Easter Bunny (or any rabbit)." You may want to add that somewhere.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the rabbit side of the prompt was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. That you incorporated the tiny details that bring the scene to life within the form - brilliant. Very creative.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "chasing bunnies." I thought your title was intriguing. πŸ˜„ The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Its popularity stems from the belief that free verse is poetry without rules; after all, it doesn't rhyme (often πŸ˜„), and it doesn't have a meter. However, what separates poetry from prose is the arrangement of carefully chosen words into verses. Free verse done well will have rhythm, though it may not have a regular beat. There may be patterns of sound and repetition. Free verse can be compared to a song that doesn't rhyme. There is still a lyric quality to it. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry in this. Well done.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very enjoyable read. The storyline is unique and interesting and I really enjoyed it. 5 stars for the story; 3 stars for losing the unicorn down the rabbit hole. πŸ˜‹ Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Outstanding Reviewer Award


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Detective

My name is Ken and I saw this posted at "I Write in 2019 as the next in line. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "The Side of Paradise as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
OK. It took me a moment to get that you were weaving famous novel titles into each verse to create your poem. *Blush* Yeah, "The Grapes of Wrath" should have been a dead giveaway but with free verse, you just never know. πŸ˜„ I'm curious to know why? Is this a contest entry or just something that inspired you? It's always helpful to add writer's notes which can be done using a dropnote such as:

Notes

Just a thought...

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. That you incorporated the titles while maintaining a cohesive storyline - brilliant. Very creative.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "The Side of Paradise." I thought your title was interesting. πŸ˜„ After reading your poem, I wondered if you meant "This Side of Paradise." "The Side..." seemed a bit awkward. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. Just a thought - in Verse 3 you use "gold" and "golden" which seemed a bit repetitive. "A fiery glow" or "gilds the ocean waves" gives you the color but a bit more dramatically.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Its popularity stems from the belief that free verse is poetry without rules; after all, it doesn't rhyme (often πŸ˜„), and it doesn't have a meter. However, what separates poetry from prose is the arrangement of carefully chosen words into verses. Free verse done well will have rhythm, though it may not have a regular beat. There may be patterns of sound and repetition. Free verse can be compared to a song that doesn't rhyme. There is still a lyric quality to it. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry in this. Well done.

As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this unique work.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Outstanding Reviewer Award


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of The miracle shot  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jimsatire

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "The 75 Word Contest and as a potshot at me (no pun intended 😁) in the Newsfeed. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Invalid Item.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A miracle shot, indeed. πŸ˜‚ 🀣 Very clever and the irony in it provides a great foil for the impossible trajectory of the bullet. OK, let's cut to the chase. It's a really good tale but it needs a bit of editing. Here are a few suggestions that may help:
*BulletO* "The bullet speed sped (verb conflict)through the room, in a hail of exploding from the (hail denotes something solid - not smoke or flash) smoke and flash from the barrel.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very Rube Goldberg tale but fun and funny to read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creative humor, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Tweet Me a Story  
for entry "Bless Me!
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi celticsea

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the "Tweet Me a Storyforum. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Bless Me!.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
OK, Colleen - you made me laugh and, if you can do that, it's a winner in my book! πŸ˜‚ As a reward, let me be the first to offer you a "Bless You!" 🀣 On a more serious note (which is rare for me), I loved the rhythm and rhyme you were able to generate in so few characters. Excellent writing. Let me know when the full version of this comes out. 🀧

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous read. Thank you for sharing your journey of frivolity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of UNICORN HUNT  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Monty

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in The Fluffy Pink Unicorn Poetry Contest. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "UNICORN HUNT.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Never give up! What a cute and great story with an important lesson. I think you have a lot more talent than you give yourself credit for. This was excellent!

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous and enlightening read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Barney the Banana  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi J.L. O'Dell

It's me, Ken, again. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Barney the Banana as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Groan smiley but funny! I don't think I've ever truly appreciated your sense of humor before. I guess I've just read the wrong stuff. I personally love puns and wordplay so this is right up my alley.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
OK - I've heard this joke before but you embellished it and made it into a funny tale. Your adaptation is very creative and a portrays a workout situation that a lot of readers will identify with. Excellent.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Barney the Banana." Nice alliteration. 😁 I thought your title was perfect and I even "got it" and enjoyed the small pun you incorporated knowingly or not. Where I come from (California) a "barney" is a kook. Now about the description... "Barney wants to get in shape for Christmas. I didn't pick up anything in the story about Christmas. Never promise and then not deliver.

πŸ”Ή Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen but I'd have been surprised if there had been. After reading several of your stories, I can see the effort you put into getting it right the first time.

πŸ”Ή Narrative/Dialogue - I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and helped the reader "fill in the blanks." Your command of gymnasium chat is nearly flawless. 🀣

πŸ”Ή Effective Story Telling - I think your wording and the familiar realism supported the story arc - until the end. Not sure about the "bananus" thing. πŸ˜„

πŸ”Ή Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and will tap most readers on the shoulder saying "Remember that time you went to the gym?" The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very humorous and entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1947700 over display limit. -?-


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19
19
Review of GI Turkey  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi J.L. O'Dell

It's me, Ken, FINALLY πŸ˜…. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "GI Turkey as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Congratulations on winning the Bard's Hall challenge. As I read this, my first thought was "different wars but it seems things don't change that much". (I'm a Vietnam vet). Mystery meat is universal it seems, although I can remember a time that I wished it was SPAM. πŸ˜‚ It was easily identifiable to me but I liked that you added enough detail that civilians could picture what was happening and get into the story as well.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
This was a personal reflection on a true event. That was the seed that blossomed into this vignette. All the elements of a good tale are here and expressed in a personal way. That, my friend, is uniquely you and you can't get more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "GI Turkey" I thought your title was well chosen, tantalizing readers and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to set up the scenario for the story and add context. Well done.

πŸ”Ή Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or big writing errors were seen. A small note: I usually post, wait a day, and reread my stories and poems. Fresh eyes will usually catch any small mistakes such as where you missed a line break and ran two paragraphs together. If you write off-line (MS Word or other) and then cut and paste, sometimes small mistakes like that happen because the site's word program doesn't translate other programs perfectly. Additionally, watch your verb tenses. For example: we resumed our patrol but moving back towards our base camp now. resumed - past; moving back - present. Small things add up.

πŸ”Ή Narrative/Dialogue - There really wasn't any dialogue until the end. πŸ˜‹ The narrative was written in natural language with you speaking just as you would telling recounting this story to a neighbor. I found it very relaxed and informal which made your thoughts and meanings very accessible to me.

πŸ”Ή Effective communication - I think your wording and realism supported the story arc. The story itself is clear but I noticed that you tend to tell and not show. I'd love to give you tips but I'm terrible at it myself. 😁 But, I'll try. You wrote: The temperature was dropping now that the sun was down. Showing: The sun disappeared behind the surrounding hills. I turned my collar up and buried my hands deeper into my pockets.

πŸ”Ή Presentation - Your story is both informative and entertaining. Just as a thought, try increasing the font size by adding {size:4} at the top. It will open the page up and make for easier reading - especially for us geezers πŸ˜…. The story looks great on the page but, if you're interested, there are some thoughts on how formatting can add to your story at "Effective Formatting.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very good read but I think there's more to come. I think you have a talent for sharing these reflective tales and I look forward to reading them. Thank you for sharing your journey of memories and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


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20
20
Review of 24 Syllable Poems  
for entry "Responsibility
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oak kay, I wood axe yew how you came up with this... But fir get it. πŸ˜‚ 🀣 Well done, Bob.


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21
21
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a brilliant concept for a poem, Lilli! *Laugh* Very well thought out and nicely penned. Of course, it was just a bit like looking in a mirror... *Rolling* I hate to say it but I like your approach much better than mine even though we took similar paths. What can I say? Great minds...

Thank you for sharing your talent, creativity, and heart with us today.


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22
22
Review of Pretender  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Nptparker

My name is Ken and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed so I'll take a wild guess and say you want it looked at. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Pretender as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I see you're a newbie. πŸ˜€ Welcome to WDC. Glad you found us and decided to stay a while. I hope that you find we're supportive, encouraging, and friendly. OK, a few crazies are floating around too but we're mostly harmless. 🀣

Now, about your poem. Raw, honest emotion. I noted the line: "I want some help but don't know how." Believe it or not, I've found that writing is a great first step. It lets your emotions find an outlet and - trust me - they're a lot easier to deal with when you can step back and see them... and you'll discover you're not alone.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to expressing your feelings is wonderful. Us poets have to stick together 😁. I personally love the discipline of rhyming poetry. This was your vision and your creation. What can be more creative than that?

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Pretender." I thought your title was a perfect fit and heralded the poetic content that ensued. πŸ˜„ The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - You used very descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. Language is a palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the emotions you were feeling within your poem.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - This was written in quatrains with an aabb rhyme and it worked wonderfully under your deft hand. I did note a few near rhymes and the meter varied quite a bit from line to line. These aren't major problems and you'll find as you grow, these minor asides will resolve themselves. I personally will always err on content over form. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very touching and enlightening read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


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23
23
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ren is an anxious geek

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed so I guess you want it looked at. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "City Walls Do More Than Tumble.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Drama, huh? Yes, you definitely hit that mark with this. I could see this as both a literal event but more likely a metaphor for life and the frustrations and uncertainty that abounds. Love provides the constant that we need to continue on. I did lose your message thread when I came to the line: I only had to be worth something to you. It was your love that pushed you, that gave you the courage to continue seeking. I guess I was confused by your sudden concern that it was reciprocated. Was you devotion dependent upon whether or not it was? If so, I think that undermines your proclamation of love as your driving force. Just my thoughts...

One comment: the line at the carnage we reeked upon ourselves - should be "wreaked" since I'm pretty sure you weren't referring to anything smelly. πŸ˜„

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very melancholy and somber read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Dream Traveling  
In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan...

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the "SENIOR CENTER FORUM in response to the prompt "Dream." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "Dream Traveling.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Wow. This is really beautiful. There's such a... OK, I'll say it - dream quality to this. πŸ˜‚ The flow and imagery of the moon woven into your words make this just lovely to read. The subtle rhyme makes this flow easy off the tongue. Your imagery is superb. Damn! You're good! πŸ˜€

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very calming and relaxing read. Thank you for sharing your journey of spirituality, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

πŸ€— Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Spring  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ToucanTheRainwing

My name is Ken - a fellow Paper Doll dragon or dawg - depending on who you listen to. πŸ˜‚ I found this while scrolling through your port. 😁 Of course, I chose this because it was the only poem I saw in your port and since poetry is "my thing"... πŸ˜„. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide feedback on your work "Spring as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I feel almost embarrassed to give you a review that will be several times longer than your poem but you're going to get the full version anyway. πŸ˜„ I liked it. It's 90% there but we'll talk about that later.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the arrival of Spring and the relationship of the season to its accouterments was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

πŸ”Ή Title - "Spring." I thought your title was a perfect - although obvious - fit and heralded the poetic content. πŸ˜„ The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

πŸ”Ή Grammar/Wording - With only 17 syllables to play with, word choice is critical in these small gems of poetry. What you've written is fine but you limit yourself. Look for compactness in order to be able to put more into less space. For example, instead of "Spring is" consider "spring's" which open you up for "spring's soft touch returns." Just a thought.

πŸ”Ή Form/Flow - The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru). This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them, a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colors the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related. Think of it like 3 beads on a string. The final bead - while still a bead - is a different color. It's a little surprise and while related, is not an obvious continuation of the preceding two lines. It's called the "aha" moment. Too much? Yeah, I do go on. 🀣 Sorry.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very enjoyable read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of creation, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


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