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3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
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Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
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Short Stories and better at Poetry
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26
26
for entry "Outside the VA Clinic" 
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tinker

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS "  poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Prompted by Poet's Place Cafe "  - Outside the VA Clinic - as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to our veterans and the close bonds they have across age, disability, and wars. While not exactly what I was expecting 😀 it was nonetheless a moving tale and one I salute you for writing!

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for those who've served. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Outside the VA Clinic." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt the flow that poetry in this. As Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very captivating and unexpected read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi IceSkatingSugarCube

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS "  poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Still, The Soldiers Fight Today"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to those who've paid for the freedom we enjoy. Thank you for including those who have died not on the battlefield but from the service to their country.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Still, The Soldiers Fight Today." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. While I appreciate that added promotion of the contest, I think you could have added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in a Quatrain form with an abcbd rhyme. The refrain line was very effective. While the meter varies, it didn't seem to affect the smooth flow. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. 😂

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very fulfilling read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi L.A. Grawitch

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS "  poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Serving with Honor"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to the members of our armed forces that reminds each of us how much we have and how much we owe. Our soldiers have nobly fought to protect freedom since our country's birth, and have fought to protect those that could not protect themselves, even in foreign lands when called upon.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for those that protect us. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Serving with Honor." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used it brilliantly to amplify your meaning and set up the scenario for your poem.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Free verse is a type of poetry that does not contain patterns of rhyme or meter. Free verse is considered an open form of poetry, as opposed to poetry written in structure or form, and tends to follow natural speech patterns and rhythms. However, free verse generally contains poetic lines and poetic imagery that distinguish it from prose. I felt that this was missing the flow that poetry has and felt it was very prose-like. That said, Robert Frost once said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very emotional read. I personally found it moving and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS "  poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "A Spectacular Display"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
What's not to love about this? *BigSmile* Just the thought of the firework displays - both great and small - around the 4th of July is enough to bring a big smile on anyone's face along with a flood of happy memories.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a memory and a feeling of the wonder that we all have as kids and adults. That makes this both unique to you and a shared experience. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "A Spectacular Display." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used it brilliantly to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings about the event as well as provide a visual sense of what you were seeing. Each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written as a traditional Rondeau. I appreciate that the Rondeau has no set meter and I thought your choice of a Fourteener was unique. It does take several readings to really get into the flow since most are used to tetrameter or pentameter. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. 😂

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very fun and visual read. I personally found it brought back a lot of memories as well as feelings of excitement and I really enjoyed it. My hesitation in giving this 5 stars is really more about the subject. While you did mention patriotism in the second verse, I think the overall poem was really geared toward the display rather than the meaning of it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Monty

It's me, Ken. Thank you for your entry in the "HONORING OUR VETERANS "  poetry/short story contest. ** Image ID #2161631 Unavailable ** . It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "STAR SPANGLED BANNER"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A moving tribute to our flag and a strong statement of devotion to the values it stands for.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I can tell by the words and emotions you've woven together that this is more than just an entry. It is a testimonial of your beliefs and love for this country. While similar words have been spoken, these come from your heart and that makes it unique to you. You can't be more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as a criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Star Spangled Banner." You left little doubt about what this poem was about. 😄 If this doesn't get the reader's attention, then I don't know what will. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. While I appreciate that added promotion of the contest, I think you could have added a personal line about it's meaning to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language to show your feelings and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in a Quatrain form with an abcb rhyme. While the meter varies, it didn't seem to affect the smooth flow. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry and - more importantly - feel the emotion in this. 😂

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very captivating read. I personally found it interesting and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review of Clickity Clack  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "Invalid Item"  in response to the prompt "staccato." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Clickity Clack" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
What a great response! Of course! Skateboarders! I should have been as clever as you and thought of it first. 😂 Okay, maybe not. I was never a "sidewalk surfer" even in my youth. 🤣 Us real surfers always looked down on them. 😂 🤣 A perfect response. One suggestion: if you're going to keep entering, create a book. You can put up to 100 of these mini-poems in it and it still only counts as one item in your port.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very fun and memory inducing read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming, Susan!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of The TEACUP  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi J.L. O'Dell

It's me, Ken. *Blush* Yes, I'm slow as s*** when it comes to catching up on the reviews I owe. My apologies but life keeps getting in the way. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "The TEACUP"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Wow. What an imaginative and creative story! It's not complicated, instead relying on the every day for the drama and mystery woven into this engrossing tale. So, two questions come to mind after reading this: Did the gifts continue? Which Goodwill was it exactly? 😂 🤣

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I found this sooo creative and imaginative. Excellent.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "The TeaCup." After reading your story, I thought your title was perfect. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. You used it to that end adding a mysterious element to your story - and, you didn't disappoint. 😁

🔹 Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen but I'd have been surprised if there had been.

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and fleshed out the story nicely.

🔹 Effective Story Telling - You did well! Nice background setting the scene, introducing the plot device and mysterious elements, and concluding the story with a nice ending while still leaving the reader wanting more.

🔹 Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and I love that there was a message about kindness woven into it. Good stories always imply a moral and you did that with a subtle but deft hand. One suggestion: Add {size:4} at the top. This will make the font larger and will open the page up. It also makes for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅. The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very creative and entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the contest,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Review of chasing bunnies  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Rhyssa

Long time, no see! It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted at "The Pink Fluffy Unicorn Contest"  😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "chasing bunnies"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Glad to see you visibly writing again! 😂 It's been too long. Now, as to your poem. Love it. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. 🤣 The one thing that did jump out at me was a lack of reference to a unicorn. Bob's reference was for the "best poem possible about Unicorn(s) and The Easter Bunny (or any rabbit)." You may want to add that somewhere.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the rabbit side of the prompt was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. That you incorporated the tiny details that bring the scene to life within the form - brilliant. Very creative.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "chasing bunnies." I thought your title was intriguing. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the story of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Its popularity stems from the belief that free verse is poetry without rules; after all, it doesn't rhyme (often 😄), and it doesn't have a meter. However, what separates poetry from prose is the arrangement of carefully chosen words into verses. Free verse done well will have rhythm, though it may not have a regular beat. There may be patterns of sound and repetition. Free verse can be compared to a song that doesn't rhyme. There is still a lyric quality to it. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry in this. Well done.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very enjoyable read. The storyline is unique and interesting and I really enjoyed it. 5 stars for the story; 3 stars for losing the unicorn down the rabbit hole. 😋 Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Detective

My name is Ken and I saw this posted at "I Write in 2019"  as the next in line. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "The Side of Paradise"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
OK. It took me a moment to get that you were weaving famous novel titles into each verse to create your poem. *Blush* Yeah, "The Grapes of Wrath" should have been a dead giveaway but with free verse, you just never know. 😄 I'm curious to know why? Is this a contest entry or just something that inspired you? It's always helpful to add writer's notes which can be done using a dropnote such as:

Notes ▼

Just a thought...

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. That you incorporated the titles while maintaining a cohesive storyline - brilliant. Very creative.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "The Side of Paradise." I thought your title was interesting. 😄 After reading your poem, I wondered if you meant "This Side of Paradise." "The Side..." seemed a bit awkward. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Great word choice! Your descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. Just a thought - in Verse 3 you use "gold" and "golden" which seemed a bit repetitive. "A fiery glow" or "gilds the ocean waves" gives you the color but a bit more dramatically.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in free verse. Its popularity stems from the belief that free verse is poetry without rules; after all, it doesn't rhyme (often 😄), and it doesn't have a meter. However, what separates poetry from prose is the arrangement of carefully chosen words into verses. Free verse done well will have rhythm, though it may not have a regular beat. There may be patterns of sound and repetition. Free verse can be compared to a song that doesn't rhyme. There is still a lyric quality to it. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see the poetry in this. Well done.

As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this unique work.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of UNICORN HUNT  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Monty

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in The Fluffy Pink Unicorn Poetry Contest. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "UNICORN HUNT" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Never give up! What a cute and great story with an important lesson. I think you have a lot more talent than you give yourself credit for. This was excellent!

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous and enlightening read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review of 24 Syllable Poems  
for entry "Responsibility " 
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oak kay, I wood axe yew how you came up with this... But fir get it. 😂 🤣 Well done, Bob.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
What a brilliant concept for a poem, Lilli! *Laugh* Very well thought out and nicely penned. Of course, it was just a bit like looking in a mirror... *Rolling* I hate to say it but I like your approach much better than mine even though we took similar paths. What can I say? Great minds...

Thank you for sharing your talent, creativity, and heart with us today.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review of Pretender  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Nptparker

My name is Ken and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed so I'll take a wild guess and say you want it looked at. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Pretender"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I see you're a newbie. 😀 Welcome to WDC. Glad you found us and decided to stay a while. I hope that you find we're supportive, encouraging, and friendly. OK, a few crazies are floating around too but we're mostly harmless. 🤣

Now, about your poem. Raw, honest emotion. I noted the line: "I want some help but don't know how." Believe it or not, I've found that writing is a great first step. It lets your emotions find an outlet and - trust me - they're a lot easier to deal with when you can step back and see them... and you'll discover you're not alone.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to expressing your feelings is wonderful. Us poets have to stick together 😁. I personally love the discipline of rhyming poetry. This was your vision and your creation. What can be more creative than that?

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Pretender." I thought your title was a perfect fit and heralded the poetic content that ensued. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - You used very descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. Language is a palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the emotions you were feeling within your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in quatrains with an aabb rhyme and it worked wonderfully under your deft hand. I did note a few near rhymes and the meter varied quite a bit from line to line. These aren't major problems and you'll find as you grow, these minor asides will resolve themselves. I personally will always err on content over form. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very touching and enlightening read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review of Dream Traveling  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan...

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the "SENIOR CENTER FORUM"  in response to the prompt "Dream." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "Dream Traveling" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Wow. This is really beautiful. There's such a... OK, I'll say it - dream quality to this. 😂 The flow and imagery of the moon woven into your words make this just lovely to read. The subtle rhyme makes this flow easy off the tongue. Your imagery is superb. Damn! You're good! 😀

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very calming and relaxing read. Thank you for sharing your journey of spirituality, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Spring  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ToucanTheRainwing

My name is Ken - a fellow Paper Doll dragon or dawg - depending on who you listen to. 😂 I found this while scrolling through your port. 😁 Of course, I chose this because it was the only poem I saw in your port and since poetry is "my thing"... 😄. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide feedback on your work "Spring"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I feel almost embarrassed to give you a review that will be several times longer than your poem but you're going to get the full version anyway. 😄 I liked it. It's 90% there but we'll talk about that later.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the arrival of Spring and the relationship of the season to its accouterments was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Spring." I thought your title was a perfect - although obvious - fit and heralded the poetic content. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - With only 17 syllables to play with, word choice is critical in these small gems of poetry. What you've written is fine but you limit yourself. Look for compactness in order to be able to put more into less space. For example, instead of "Spring is" consider "spring's" which open you up for "spring's soft touch returns." Just a thought.

🔹 Form/Flow - The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru). This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them, a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colors the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related. Think of it like 3 beads on a string. The final bead - while still a bead - is a different color. It's a little surprise and while related, is not an obvious continuation of the preceding two lines. It's called the "aha" moment. Too much? Yeah, I do go on. 🤣 Sorry.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very enjoyable read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of creation, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fear  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo

It's me, Ken 😁. Welcome to "The Paper Doll Gang." It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your short story "Fear"  as a fellow member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
🤨 Hmmmm. I liked your story BUT (there's always one, isn't there? 😂) the actual plot is well worn. You did a good job in building the suspense but you missed an opportunity to lay some of the needed groundwork. More on that later.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
As I said, this is a well-worn plot line. Not that that's bad but it requires a few more twists and turns to make it seem new. Still, this was your version and your creation. What can be more creative than that? 😁

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Fear." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Consider it a prologue that sets the stage for the story.

🔹 Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen. I've read several of your short stories and I noticed that you tend to make each sentence a separate paragraph. This tends to breaks up the flow, especially where you use clipped or shortened phrases such as: "Out of the gloom into the brightly lit station. I think you were doing this for dramatic effect but, as a stand-alone phrase, it just seems awkward.

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - There really wasn't much dialogue but the internal dialogue was effective. The narrative was written in natural language. I found it contained great detail which made your thoughts and meanings very accessible to me.

🔹 Effective communication - I think your wording and realism supported the story arc. Still, you could have heightened the suspense by laying some additional groundwork. For example, you wrote: "She could see the headlines, “Killer strikes again”. What killer? What again? It might be helpful to have her recall headlines she had read that day warning women not to be out alone.

🔹 Presentation - Your story is entertaining and will resonate with many readers. Just as a thought, try increasing the font size by adding {size:4} at the top. It will open the page up and make for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A very entertaining read but I think there's more to come. I think you have a talent for creating these mysterious moments but take your time. Find more angles to add interests. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan...

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in "The Random Poetry Contest" . 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "A May Day Morning " .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Love the last line's alliteration *Laugh*. You've painted a beautiful picture with your words. As I look out the window - damn - wish it was here. *Rolling* A wonderful nature-themed poem that flows beautifully. Really a joy to read.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very calm and lovey read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
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Review of PILLOW TALK  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Monty

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the "Invalid Item" . Curiosity got the better of me. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and tp provide you feedback on your work "PILLOW TALK" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I was hesitant to read this. *Shock2* Really? Pillow talk at our age? I can't believe you went there! As I read I realized that you meant it literally! 🤣 The pillow was talking! Clever and original, just like you. This was a fun read, filled with humor and a showcase of your creativity. Thank you for sharing.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous read. Thank you for sharing your journey of off-kilter humor, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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44
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi IceSkatingSugarCube

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed as your entry in the "Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus"  😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "Blooms Among The Tombs" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Wow. You nailed this one, Jennifer (no pun intended *Blush*) Seriously, this is a terrific take on the Easter inspiration. Your form is perfect, your rhymes coherent and solid, and the message spot on! I think this is a winner! 😃

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very fun but inspirational read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

🤗 Keep 'em coming!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
45
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Review of Intense Stare  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan *Bigsmile*

Love it! As you can probably guess, I'm a wolf fan and I really enjoyed this 24 syllable poem about our furry kin.

Now, it's probably just me but the last line seemed to switch tenses. Somehow, "Wolf's glower sends a chilled message." seems more in the moment.

Regardless - great take on the prompt word.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of 452-8652  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Vick Rolling 🏳️‍🌈

It's me, Ken... again *Bigsmile* and I thought I'd drop by your port and see what you're up to. I saw this was your latest work and thought I'd give you a review. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "452-8652"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
I guess, like many, I don't appreciate that the LBGTQ folks lead parallel lives to the straight community. It's funny how I know so many - both friends and family - but really don't go beyond a surface acknowledgment that they're just people like me. This was a great story that touches on the emotional side of being human regardless of your orientation.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think that this is a powerful story and represents a situation that a lot of readers - if they take the time to go beyond the surface - will identify with. Excellent.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "452-8652." I thought your title was an interesting choice. It certainly caught my attention. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to set up the scenario for your story and added a bit of mystery. Well done.

🔹 Mechanics - A few minor mishaps. 😁 Not sure why you started the story with a period (.).😄 Yeah, I know. My fingers don't always hit the keys they're looking for. Also, the final line is bolded. Again - not sure what you were trying for but it's not necessary.

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - You wrote this in the present tense which I think adds a sense of immediacy to your story. That said, most stories are told in the past tense. (i.e. Jade sits sat atop the bar stool, black mascara runs running down his velvet smooth, dark chocolate face.) Just a thought. I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and helped the reader picture the story as it unfolded.

🔹 Effective Story Telling - I think your wording and the familiar realism supported the story arc.

🔹 Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and is relatable to most. Thank you for making the font large since it opens the page up and makes for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅. The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very interesting and educational read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan...

Very nice. I love that it has meaning on so many levels. I can see this as a relationship poem, about communications between family members, and, of course, about the failing infrastructure of our country.

Isn't it funny how these "mini-poems" can be so effective! *BigSmile*

Most enjoyable, my friend. Glad to see you sneaking back. *Laugh* Your wisdom has been missed.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
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Review of The Visitor  
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Angus

It's me, Ken, and I saw your post in the Newfeed. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "The Visitor"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Yes, my friend, you ARE the King of Darkness! *Laugh* I don't think I've ever truly appreciated your wonderful sense of the macabre before. I guess I've just read the wrong stuff. I love the premise of your story and most especially the twist.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
This is sooo creative and a situation that a lot of readers will find themselves taken aback with. Excellent.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "The Visitor." I thought your title was good, albeit a bit obvious. Remember, titles can induce readers too. *BigSmile* The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to set up the scenario for your story but adding a bit of darkness might spice it up a bit. Well done.

🔹 Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen but I'd have been surprised if there had been. You, my friend, seem to work at being a perfectionist and it shows here.

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and helped the reader "fill in the blanks."

🔹 Effective Story Telling - I think your wording and the familiar realism supported the story arc. I did, however, find that telling it in the first person - while adding immediacy to the tale - felt awkward. It's definitely show, don't tell. 😄

🔹 Presentation - Your story is very engaging and will trap most readers into the storyline. Thank you for making the font large since it will opens the page up and makes for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅. The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very dark, twisted, and entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton

It's me, Ken, and I saw your post in the Newfeed. It is my pleasure to both read and to provide you feedback on your work "The Novice Vampire Hunter"  as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
So, this is a story about two people going batty over each other. 🤣 I've always appreciated your wonderful sense of humor and I love the light-hearted approach you chose to weave into a vampire story. I hesitate to call it a "period piece" but there was a feel of turn-of-the-century to it. For all I know, that is England today. 😁

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I thought this is was very creative although I did struggle to connect the story with the quote. It took a few mental gymnastics but I finally did. I suspect the failure was on my part. 😋

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "The Novice Vampire Hunter." I thought your title was a good fit although a bit pedestrian for you. 😋 Personally, I don't have a stake in it so it's your call. 🤣 Yes, Bobby, I'm just teasing with you.

🔹 Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen but I'd have been surprised if there had been. You, my friend, seem to be a perfectionist and it shows here. I did notice that you're at 2006 words but I doubt that anyone else will notice. 🤐

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - I thought there was a great balance between narrative and dialogue. The dialogue was natural and flowed seamlessly. The narrative portions were purposeful and helped the reader "fill in the blanks."

🔹 Effective Story Telling - I think your wording and the familiar realism supported the story arc. I love that you add new twists on the details about vampires and make the reader rethink the legend. OK, I'm going to be super critical for a bit. Here's the one thought that struck me as I read your story.

At the beginning, I wondered why Jeremy was there. You don't introduce that he's the magistrate until much later. The riddle of why Stephen is there is never solved.

🔹 Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and will tap most readers on the shoulder saying "You thought you knew vampires, well..." Thank you for making the font large since it opens the page up and makes for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅. The story looks great on the page.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very humorous and entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your journey of creativity, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you the best... well, second best 🤣 after mine,

Ken

** Image ID #2107224 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "The Husband Sleeps" 
Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey! I resemble that poem remark! 😂

Such subtlety and delicate handling of such a nocturnal nuisance. You've captured it with great aplomb.

Well done, Jennifer. I think is see another 24 Syllable win in your near future. I'm sure your husband will be equally pleased that he's provided such bountiful inspiration. 🤣

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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