🌕 HuntersMoon's (huntersmoon) Reviews

😂 🤣 Uhhhh, bone? (and yes, I got the double entendre LOL)

Bobby - you shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have. 😆 You should consider entering this in Lornda~ House of Martell ~

"The Humorous Poetry Contest"

. Brilliant, pithy, and - as always - funny as hell. I have really missed you. No one tickles my funny ... meet? 🤪 ... like you do.

Ken

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#4414987

Review of What's the Time?

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD

}

It's me, Ken, and I saw that you blamed me that you posted this in the "The Bard's Hall Contest"

in response to my plea for entries. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "What's the Time?"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Well, I'm happy to say you didn't waste your "vaga" writing this.😂 It was funny and had an almost rap feel to it. Perhaps we've discovered the new "Me-Zee." 🤣

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this challenge was very creative. I'm assuming (probably wrong) that there are songs in India that have this kind of tight verse repetitive verse which is probably why it took me a few reads to really get into the rhythm.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your lyrics 😁.

🔹 Song Title - "What's the Time?." I thought your title was a perfect fit 😄 Not sure how you came up with it. 😋 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to foreshadow your song as well as cast blame. 😂 Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - Other than using an emoji (very difficult to sing LOL) I enjoyed the play of words and the progression of the song. I definitely got the impression that this song was about this song.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written as lyrics so there's no set form. Lyrics really are poetry seeking a melody. As with all poetry, the key is found in the emotional or humorous content. Based on that, this was a success!

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable and fun read. Thank you for sharing your journey of tongue-in-cheek humor, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4414668

Review of Is money everything?

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi love_friendship

😁

I saw that you just joined today. Welcome to WDC! I'm happy that you found us. I hope that you'll find we're an encouraging and supportive group. We're all on the same journey, after all. Some are very serious, some (like me) are more laid back and always up for a laugh. Feel free to join in wherever you're comfortable. This place can be a bit confusing at first so never feel reluctant to ask anyone if you need help. Members with blue cases (again, like me LOL) are moderators and we're supposed to know everything. (In case you're curious, I don't but I know where to find it).

This is your first post, I see. Good for you! I will admit, it's a bit sparse. I think you need to expand it. Some ideas: WHY do you think it's not "everything." WHAT's wrong with thinking everything is about money? You need to share more of your thinking. Without that, this is just an opinion.

Ken

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#4414165

Review of Feeling Dippy?

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi Christopher Roy Denton

It's me, Ken, and I appreciate you sharing this. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Feeling Dippy?"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
No foreplay, just straight to the heart of the matter. 😂 Light, fun, and full of imagination. I know you weren't looking for a full on review like this but I do have obligations, you know. 😋

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think you write brilliantly and I always get a smile whenever I see what you've come up with. You're one of the most creative writers I know.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Feeling Dippy?" I thought your title was a both appropriate and a terrible pun. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - You used very descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint this light and playful poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in the Royal Rhyme form. I saw that Dave had posted it and wanted to play with it myself. 😀 From my understanding, you've pulled this off in perfect form. Since - as you well know - I am "iambically challenged" I will simply say "Yep - 10 syllables a line." 🤣

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable and playful read, one that will bring many smiles. Thank you for sharing your journey of suggestion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4413120

Review of See You in Dublin (Song - 32 Lines)

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi ♥Hooves♥

It's me, Ken, and this is your official "unofficial" "I Write in 2018"

review. 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your lyrical work "See You in Dublin (Song - 32 Lines)"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
A tip o' the derby to the Emerald Isles, huh? 😉 Nicely done, Hoovsie. It was more wistful than the rollicking tune I was expecting but a lovely tribute to Ireland.

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I mean, come on! You wrote a lovely song with a warm and loving meaning. Just how much more creative can you get?

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "See You in Dublin." I thought your title was a perfect fit and will stir the imagination of potential readers. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. For advertising for Bard's Hall - well done. For attracting readers (other than your loyal minions) Not! 😋

🔹 Grammar/Wording - You used precise and well-chosen words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed to paint the gentle warmth of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written in quatrains with a loose abcb rhyme. As lyrics, your refrain was nicely done to capture the feelings of the verses before. Good job.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable and lyrical read, one that will resonate with many readers. The rhythm was excellent and I could hear the penny whistle softly in the backgroung. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4412249

Review of Wish we could turn back time...

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi iluvhorses

My name's Ken, and I saw this posted in response to the "Note: 48-HOUR CHALLENGE : Media Prompt Deadl..." 😁 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Wish we could turn back time..."

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
An Acrostic! 😜 Nicely done. It's not the form but the content! What a wonderful surprise when I opened your poem and saw the beauty in it. I really enjoyed the memories and wondering whether or not they'll bring us geezers a little extra energy. 😂

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I'd never heard of "twenty-one pilots" and was pleasantly surprised. I think your approach to this challenge was very creative and very enjoyable.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Wishe we could turn back time ..." I thought your title was a perfect fit although I can't get that Cher song out of my head now. LOL 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I understand why you chose the content but think you wasted an opportunity.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - You used very descriptive words to build images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the beauty of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - This was written as an Acrostic. It's not the most creative form I've seen but it worked wonderfully under your deft hand. I will say, the first verse is superb! It flows and reads like melted butter. As with all poetry, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this engaging work. Well done.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable and engaging read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4411339

Review of Bug-Eyed

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Ben Langhinrichs

It's me, Ken, and I saw this posted in the Newsfeed so I'm guessing you want more than a few dozen views. 😂 It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Bug-Eyed"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
Where ya been, Ben? We've missed your wry humor. Folks get to darn serious and a bit of laughter is always welcome. Speaking of which - you've not disappointed with this gem. Loved it!

✨ Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to an alien invasion was brilliant. I must say, I did identify more with the B.E.M.'s than the humans, however. 😉 Very creative.

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Bug Eyed." I thought your title was a perfect fit and heralded the poetic content without giving away the store. 😄 The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

🔹 Grammar/Wording - You used very descriptive words to build humorous but pointed images in the reader's mind. I saw nothing in error. You used language as your palette and each word seemed well chosen to paint the piercing comedy of your poem.

🔹 Form/Flow - Written in tetrameter quatrains, you keep a rollicking tempo as you built the story of B.E.M.'s invading the Earth only to be confused and disappointed by what they find. Consistent meter, solid rhymes, and an intriguing tale make this dance.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very humorous, enjoyable and enlightening read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and comedic talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4411335

Review of Here's a photo of my dog Dottie Ruth

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Awwww. She's pretty. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she'd rather be chasing the lizards and squirrels 😂. Trust me, she and Macy would be best friends. Great photo.

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#4407750

Review of ruwth is writing...

for entry "~ Spring Is In The Air ~"

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi ruwth

It's me, Ken, and I saw your post in the Newsfeed. It is my pleasure to both read and provide you feedback on your work "~ Spring Is In The Air ~"

, within your collection "ruwth is writing..."

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

✨ First Impression/Thoughts:
🤨 Hmmmm. You asked for a "constructive review ... to make it better." Honestly, I didn't see anything wrong with it so I wasn't sure what you meant by "better." That being the case, what you're going to get is a "brain dump" with the hope that something I say will strike a chord. 😄 The story itself was short, clear, and brought back my own memories of what "spring is in the air" was like as a child and today. So, now two of us know! 🤣

✨ Creativity/Impact:
This was a personal reflection on what a phrase you recalled meant. That was the seed that blossomed into this vignette. You contrasted childhood and today - New York and Oklahoma - to set up the conflict that forms the heart of your recounting. All the elements of a good tale are here and expressed in a personal way. That, my friend, is uniquely you and you can't get more creative than that!

✨ Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words 😁.

🔹 Title - "Spring Is In The Air..." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (a.k.a. description) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Since this is part of a book, you lose the opportunity to tailor it to this write. I was pleased to see that you used it to add some additional information about the book but I think it might be worth relooking; what's IN "ruwth is writing in 2018?" Stories, poems, and reflections as the year marches on. Give the readers a mini-menu to make them stop and enter.

🔹 Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen. A small note: In your opening line you wrote, "the expression 'Spring is in the air." Seasons, such as winter, spring, summer, and fall, do not require capitalization because they are generic nouns. (I warned you - a brain dump 😉.)

🔹 Narrative/Dialogue - There really wasn't any dialogue other than a quote from your Mom and "one of the fellas." 😋 The narrative was written in natural language with you speaking just as you would to a neighbor. Colloquialisms such as "menfolk" and "fellas" dot your prose and make this feel like we're sitting on the porch having a chat. Personally, I love it! I found it very relaxed and informal which made your thoughts and meanings very accessible to me.

🔹 Effective communication - I think your wording and realism supported the story arc. The one place I did see an opportunity for additional information was after you recounted the local saying that there was a fragrant flower that bloomed. You just left us there, hanging. Had you noticed it? Was it a part of your experience as well? What is "spring is in the air" in Oklahoma to you?

🔹 Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and will resonate with many readers. I usually add, "just as a thought, try increasing the font size by adding {size:4} at the top. It will open the page up and make for easier reading - especially for us geezers 😅." You already have! Thank you. The story looks great on the page but, if you're interested, there are some thoughts on how formatting can add to your story at "Effective Formatting"

.

✨ Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very entertaining read but I think there's more to come. I think you have a talent for sharing these reflective moments. Thank you for sharing your journey of remembrance, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4407292

Review of On Deforestation

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Don Two

It's me, Ken, and Ben posted your poem in the Newsfeed for consideration. I'm glad he did!

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "On Deforestation"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Very impressive villanelle. Nice flow, informative content, and a timely subject ... still. Yes, I see that you wrote this 5 years ago.

Isn't it a shame that we're still having the same discussions around the same issues.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the destruction of our planet and your call to arms was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "On Deforestation." I thought your title was well chosen and certainly prepared the reader for the poem. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you could have used it more effectively but, in truth, the title says it all.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the conservation message.

Form/Flow - This was written as a Villanelle. You used the form to its fullest potential with a strong message chosen for the first and the third lines in the first stanza that are repeated in alternating order throughout the poem, and appear together in the last couplet As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very moving and enlightening read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4405640

Review of Watched My Mother Die

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi David_Lutz

My name is Ken, and I discovered this gem on the random Read and Review forum. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Watched My Mother Die"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
David, David, David ... what are we going to do with you?

I know - WELCOME TO WDC! This was a great story with a twisted ending worthy of more love than you've given it. Too short! You need to build this up and then enter it in a contest like "SCREAMS!!!"

or "Twisted Tales Contest"

.

Note: I changed the rating of this tale to 13+ due to the implied horror and violence. This site is sensitive to ratings. You can see a full explanation here.

.

Creativity/Impact:
Like you, it seems, I love stories where the ending just comes out of left field. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Watched My Mother Die." I thought your title was a bit obvious but it works. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it although it really was just an expansion of the title. Well done.

Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or spelling errors were seen. A few suggestions:
"Somethings..." should be Some things. "God" should be capitalized.

Dialogue/Narrative - No dialogue used although a few lines might have helped make this less of a story and more of an event. The narrative was clear and flowed well.

Effective communication - I think your wording and realism supported the story arc. This allows the readers to get inside the story and makes for a more interactive experience.

Presentation - Your story is very entertaining but so short! Expand the first part by adding a setting (the guy's sitting in a park or whatever). He might feel a wash of sadness to add an emotional element. Build it up slowly - then BANG! Just as a thought, try increasing the font size by adding {size:4} at the top. It will open the page up and make for easier reading - especially for us geezers

. For some thoughts on how formatting can add to your story, see "Effective Formatting"

.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A wickedly entertaining read. I think you have a "story nugget" here that needs to grow and when it does, I think you'll be surprised by how many fans you'll have

. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4405341

Review of Miscellaneous Writings

for entry "Ken and Donna"

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi QPdoll

It is I, Ken, the central character of your tale

. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Miscellaneous Writings"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
OK, in reality, I would have been tripping all over my tongue and never have had the moxie to approach her

. I'm so pleased you got that wrong in the story. I love that you took the T.V. character and incorporated her into the story "lock, stock, and barrel." This read almost as a "fanfic" piece which I thoroughly enjoyed. Well done.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to a "questionable story"

was excellent and the story arc both entertaining and intriguing - at least to me

. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Ken and Donna." I thought your title was well chosen although a little obvious. Remember, the title can (and usually) attract readers. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Since this was a book entry, I understand that it wasn't possible.

Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen. A clean story makes it very readable. Thank you for increasing the font size

. Us geezers have a tough time reading the fine print.

Dialogue - The dialogue seemed to flow within the story, helping to raise the level of anticipation as the story progressed. It was natural and not forced. There were no instances where there was confusion about who was speaking. Again, well done.

Effective communication - I think your wording and realism supported the story arc although it was a bit predictable. An element of surprise (like spilling coffee or some other unexpected activity) goes a long way toward spicing up a tale. Your ease with the characters did allow the readers to get inside the story and makes for a more interactive experience.

Presentation - Your story is very entertaining and is familiar in its setting. This will resonate with many readers. For some thoughts on how formatting can add to your story, see "Effective Formatting"

.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very entertaining read and certainly one that I will enjoy finishing in my dreams

. I think you have a talent for storytelling. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4402120

Review of March of Endless Winter

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi ♥Hooves♥

It's me, Ken, and yes, once again I posted above you in "I Write in 2018"

so you're stuck with one of my reviews.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "March of Endless Winter"

as a member of and on behalf of "Reviewing with River"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I am not a fan of verse libre because so many do it badly but I love this poem. You've taken a classical twist to this with a wonderful, flowing result. The imagery is wonderful and the caesura or pause to focus on the last word in each line is brilliant.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate even if they don't know why

. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "March of Endless Winter." I thought your title was well conceived, knowing so many will immediately identify with it. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the message.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. While free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, it is not the elimination of any and all rules. You've used a focus word in each verse that allows you to disambiguate into the emotional realms of what you see. This could be read as two distinct poems and the interlinking was seamless. For me, the key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A wonderful read, far more complex than the initial impression. For those of us who love and appreciate great poetry, thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4397803

Review of The Unity

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with Group ~ Reviewing with River

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi sfttarget

It's me, Ken, and yes, I actually took you up on your invitation.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "The Unity"

as a member of and on behalf of "Reviewing with River"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I found this very moving and yes, even familiar. The deterioration of a relationship creeps up slowly until one day - Boom! - you're aware of it all at once. I found this carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the disintegration of a relationship was excellent and I think many will find that your words resonate. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "The Unity." I thought your title seemed a bit contraindicated offering many positive images for the reader to come up with while the poem was actually heading in a different direction. It seemed more "Disunity"

. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the heartbreak and disappointment in the message.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

One thing to keep in mind (my personal pet peeve

) is that every part of free verse adds to the poem - especially line breaks. Writing free verse is not as simple as taking regular sentences and breaking them into bite-sized bits. In free verse, a line should be a unit of sense, and the stanza is like a prose paragraph, embodying one main idea. But these ideas are not rigid and can be used flexibly to good effect, for emphasis, to make us hungry for the next line. Many, like you, write complete thoughts in each line so this really reads as prose.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very moving and enlightening read, one that will resonate with many readers. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4397483

Review of Ceasefire Tableau in Syria

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Powerful and poignant. No other words needed.

Ken

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#4397029

Review of Love's way

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi kittyloving

My name is Ken, and I'm here as a member of the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "

judging panel. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Invalid Item"

as a member of and on behalf of my reviewing alliance "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely written and composed. I found this very romantic in a simple, from the heart way. I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was from the heart but I didn't get a connection to the prompt. Regardless, it's lovely on its own.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Love's way." I thought your title captured the essence of your poem beautifully. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Never pass up a chance to add context to what you're writing.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the your emotions and the love portrayed in the message.

Form/Flow - This was written in a single rhyming verse with an aabbcc... rhyme. I felt that in a few places, you focused more on rhyme than meaning in the context of the whole poem. Trust me, been there, done that!

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

I'm guessing this made your husband blush LOL. A very love-filled and beautiful read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4397012

Review of Love's Blossom

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi LegendaryMask❤️

It's just me, Ken, and I'm here as a member of the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "

judging panel. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Love's Blossom"

as a member of and on behalf of my reviewing alliance "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Beautifully written and composed. I found this very romantic in form and substance. I can't say I always felt this way but older is wiser and having had the opportunity to experience this in real life, I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was excellent and captured the spirit of the prompt in a gentle, loving way.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Love's Blossom." I thought your title captured the essence of your poem beautifully. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Never pass up a chance to add context to what you're writing.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the gentle love portrayed in the message. I did feel you stretched the boundaries a bit trying to integrate the prompt with the voices of the turtles. Turtles don't make much noise, but when they do females hiss and males grunt.

Remember, the quote was to inspire you, not restrict you.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very gentle and beautiful read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4397007

Review of My Darcy, My Heart, My Love, My Life

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Princess Megan Rose GOT Fox

It's me, Ken, and I'm here as a member of the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "

judging panel. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "My Darcy, My Heart, My Love, My Life"

as a member of and on behalf of my reviewing alliance "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Love for the common man

. I found this very romantic in a personal way, in the descriptions of how YOU view and experience love. I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied. That said, I didn't connect what you wrote with the prompt except in a few lines that didn't seem integral to what you had written.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was very personal in a gentle, loving way. These were your feelings, reactions, contemplations on how you felt. You can't get more original than that!

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "My Darcy, My Heart, My Love, My Life." I thought your title captured the essence of your poem beautifully. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I did scratch my head over the Darcy reference which I assume refers to Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice but never having read it, it had no meaning for me.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the love you experienced in the poem.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I'll admit - for me I had to stretch a bit before I could see poetry in this lovely work. It really read more as a love letter.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very engaging and personal read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4396993

Review of Claddagh Rings & Gossamer Dreams

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ♥Hooves♥

It's me, Ken, and no, I'm not stalking you

. I'm here as a member of the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "

judging panel. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Claddagh Rings & Gossamer Dreams"

as a member of and on behalf of my reviewing alliance "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Beautifully written and composed. I found this very romantic in form and substance. I can't say I always felt this way but older is wiser and having had the opportunity to experience this in real life, I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I quite enjoyed your approach tieing this to the Claddagh ring. This traditional Irish ring represents love, loyalty, and friendship (the hands represent friendship, the heart represents love, and the crown represents loyalty) and really captured the feelings expressed in your poem.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Claddagh Rings & Gossamer Dreams." I thought your title captured the essence of your poem beautifully. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Never pass up a chance to add context to what you're writing.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the fragileness of love portrayed in the message.

Form/Flow - Written in quatrains, this flowed beautifully both when read and spoken aloud. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." I could see poetry in this lovely work. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very gentle and beautiful read. Thank you for sharing your journey of emotion, imagination, and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4396660

Review of Ocean Poem

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Robert Deimel

It's me, Ken, and yes, I'm taking you up on your offer to check out your poetry.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Ocean Poem"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
This is a lovely poem, full of wonder and emotion. Now, I (well, the nerd in me) must take issue with one thing

. Stars twinkle because they’re so far away from Earth that, even through large telescopes, they appear only as pinpoints. And it’s easy for Earth’s atmosphere to disturb the pinpoint light of a star. As a star’s light pierces our atmosphere, each single stream of starlight is refracted – caused to change direction, slightly – by the various temperature and density layers in Earth’s atmosphere. Planets shine more steadily because they’re closer to Earth and so appear not as pinpoints, but as tiny disks in our sky. OK, OK - I know, poetic license.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was excellent and emotional.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Ocean Poem." I thought your title was pretty much a "throw away." It didn't offer any alternative images for the reader to come up with and spark interest. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to clarify the title and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Bravo for using the full richness of English.

Your language seems well chosen to reflect the emotions you felt. As Robert Frost said, "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."

Form/Flow - This was written in quatrains with an abcb rhyme, it flowed fairly smoothly and read well. Just a suggestion: After a day or so, always go back and reread with fresh eyes. You'll catch the little oooops like in line 4, verse 1. "your beacon, calling out to me."

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very moving and touching read. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4396548

Review of The Yellow Momster

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Genipher

It's me, Ken, and this is your official "I Write in 2018"

review.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "The Yellow Momster"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
What a hoot!

Fun, funny, and imaginative. Enough superlatives for now. Loved it!

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to the YELLOW was excellent and the story arc intriguing. Very creative.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "The Yellow Momster." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. At first, I figured this would be a horror piece using the play on words of "momster." So glad I was wrong.

The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to add additional intrigue and directly set up the scenario for your story. Well done.

Mechanics - No obvious punctuation or writing errors were seen. A clean story makes it very readable.

Dialogue - The dialogue flowed within the story, helping to raise the level of anticipation as the story progressed. It was natural and not forced. There were no instances where there was confusion about who was speaking. Again, well done.

Effective communication - I think your wording and the build up supported the story arc. This allowed the readers to get inside the story and makes for a more interactive experience.

Presentation - Your story is very entertaining, combining a feel of fan fiction and capturing the essence of family dynamics. Just as a thought, try increasing the font size by adding {size:4} at the top. It will open the page up and make for easier reading - especially for us geezers.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

and I'd give you more if it was possible. Clever, imaginative, fun - a totally entertaining read. I think you have a genuine talent for storytelling. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4396369

Review of She Lies

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Dglmr

My name is Ken, and I discovered this gem on the random Read and Review forum.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "She Lies"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I found this very moving. The inequities of life seem to be magnified my holding them in and not feeling free to release our true feelings. I can't say I always felt this way but older is wiser and having had the opportunity to see this in real life, I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this subject was excellent and intriguing. This was YOUR story and you can't get more original than that.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "She Lies." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify your title and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the message.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content which this has. I could see poetry in this. One suggestion: Consider personalizing the final line. I say that I'm fine, but I'm going through hell." This is obvious about you and your feelings. Switching from "she" to "I" in the last line acknowledges this and the shift might have more of an impact on the reader.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very moving and enlightening read. Thank you for sharing your journey of introspection and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Before I sign off, I just noticed that you're a newbie. Welcome to WDC! I'm happy that you found us. I hope that you'll find we're an encouraging and supportive group. We're all on the same journey, after all. Some are very serious, some (like me) are more laid back and always up for a laugh. Feel free to join in wherever you're comfortable. This place can be a bit confusing at first so never feel reluctant to ask anyone if you need help. Members with blue cases (again, like me LOL) are moderators and we're supposed to know everything. (In case you're curious, I don't

but I know where to find it). I look forward to reading more of your creations in the future.

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#4394111

Review of The Speedy Rat and the Slow Turtle

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Tim Chiu

My name is Ken and I discovered this gem on the random Read and Review forum.

It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "The Speedy Rat and the Slow Turtle"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I see you wrote this 10 years ago

and it's my distinct pleasure to call it to your attention again. I know I cringe a bit when old works of mine get reviewed.

I see what you were going for with the turtle and rat analogies but I really didn't get a clear understanding of the moral of the tale.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this subject was clever but needed a clearer connection to the youth you were portraying.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "The Speedy Rat and the Slow Turtle." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify your title and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the message although many of the words seemed chosen more for their rhyme than their meaning.

Form/Flow - You chose to write this in septets with an ababab rhyme. I think it works well and gave you the room to expand the thoughts in each verse. To keep the flow, I think you need to work a bit on the meter (beats per line) and smooth it out a bit.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

I think you have a great start to a classic children's tale here. It needs a bit of smoothing out to really make it sing but the core is excellent. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4393093

Review of Sheaves of Grain

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

It's me, Ken, and yes, I'm back again

I discovered this gem on the random Read and Review forum. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Sheaves of Grain"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I found this, as I find most of your poetry, very moving. You are true to your faith and often spread its gentle wisdom in poetry.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to this was excellent. As I recall, there were "required words" and you've woven them into your poem is a way that they seem invisible except in their contribution to the overall effect.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Sheaves of Grain." I thought your title was well chosen supporting the theme of your poetry. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it to set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - Verse 4 - You wrote: "Taste the saver." I think you meant "Taste the savor" Your choice of language seems well chosen to reflect both the flow of the poem and the Blessing of Lughasadh.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content which this has. I could see poetry in this. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very gentle and enlightening read. I'm sure many readers will identify with this beautiful reminder of the true abundance that surrounds us. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4393078

Review of Desolate

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Nikola~Loving Her Gracie Girl!

My name is Ken and you've probably seen me around. I don't remember reviewing you before but, then again, I don't remember much of yesterday!

I discovered this gem on the random Read and Review forum. It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your work "Desolate"

as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I see you wrote this 14 years ago

and it's my distinct pleasure to call it to your attention again. I know I cringe a bit when old works of mine get reviewed.

I found this very plaintive and moving. The ups and downs of life - especially when it comes to love - seem to be magnified in the moment. I can't say I always felt this way but older is wiser and having had the opportunity to experience this in real life, I found it carried an honesty and truthfulness that can't be denied.

Creativity/Impact:
I think your approach to heartbreak was excellent and emotive. Surely, disappointment and lost love are the bread and butter of poetry but these are your feelings and thoughts. That, alone, makes them unique.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - "Desolate." I thought your title was well chosen, offering many alternative images for the reader to come up with and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify your title and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done.

Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the emotional message you've composed.

Form/Flow - This was written in free verse so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules. The key is found in emotional content which this has. I could see poetry in this. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

Yeah, yeah - you don't want ratings. Too bad

. A very moving and emotional read. I'm sure many readers will totally emphasize with this tale of promises - made and understood - and heartbreak. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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