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3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
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Public Reviews
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201
201
Review of When Words Fail  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "When Words Fail"  on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done *Smile* I enjoyed this very much. I'm not a big fan of free verse since most don't write it well. I can see the poetic nature of this in each line although it felt like, in the end, you bailed a bit.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery of this and thought you wove an interesting word picture.

*Starg* Message/Theme:
This was a self realization themed poem with a message of self doubt about your own creativity. Trust me, you've all the creativity you need *BigSmile*

*Starr* Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words *Bigsmile*.

*Bulletb* Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was well chosen. The "teaser" line (or description *Smile*) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I'm not sure "Poetry Writing" is enough. Use a pivotal line from your poem to attract readers.

*Bulletg* Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error; a clean write is always a hallmark of a good poet.

*Bulletr* Form/Flow - Written in vers libre or free verse, I found this flowed well. Although purists will disagree, I subscribe to the definition that "Free Verse is a form of Poetry composed of either rhymed or unrhymed lines that have no set fixed metrical pattern." Your spacing on the page and use of line breaks, however, I felt distracted a bit because of the amount of space used. I wish the site allowed us independent spacing. Try increasing the size of the font to 4 or 4.5 to cut down on the white space. Usually, a line break is placed where a natural pause occurs within the line.

*Bullet* Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout.

*Starbr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very good read and a terrific testament to your conviction and talent. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
202
202
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton ... or should I just call you B-B-Bobby *Laugh*

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure (I'm not sure that's the right word) to both read and comment on your work "When Bobby Met Ken"  on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
*FacePalm* OK, I laughed my ass off. This was too funny ... in the end. I will admit to reading it with a great amount of trepidation. *Rolling*

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
Hands down, this is the most creative take on the prompt that I will ever see. I thought I had a warped sense of humor but you, my friend, take the cake.

*Starg* Message/Theme:
Friendship comes in all shapes and sizes. Evidently, orientation as well. *Rolling*

*Starr* Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words *Bigsmile*.

*Bulletb* Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was ... a little too close to home. *Laugh* I'm sure there will be many comments on this but to hell with them. I loved it!

*Bulletg* Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error; a clean write is always a hallmark of a good writer and you are a master at using our shared vocabulary to enrich any story you write.

*Bulletr* Form/Flow - I think you've studied the master illusionists and understand the secret of distraction. While the audience is watching the left hand, the right hand is creating the magic. You use this to good stead in this story, leading the reader down one path knowing they will end up someplace totally different than where they think they're headed. Brilliantly done.

*Bullet* Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating (and had me cringing for a bit *Rolling* and you carry the theme throughout.

*Starbr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A wonderfully funny read and a terrific testament to your talent as a writer and illusionist *BigSmile* . Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today. Should, by some stroke of ignorance on the part of the judge, you not win, I will personally plant a "fluffy pink" ribbon on this.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
203
203
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "I Know You By Your Tells"  on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as part of the WDC.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Interesting approach. I enjoyed this very much. I'm not a big fan of free verse but using a couplet with free verse works well and keeps it flowing. *Laugh*) I can see the poetic nature of this in each line.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery of this and thought you wove interesting word pictures into this uniquely Schnujo form. *BigSmile*

*Starg* Message/Theme:
This seems almost to be about abuse; perhaps not the conventional type but the speaker is obviously living in reaction to her partner's moods even to the point of allowing her partner to decide when the relationship is over.

*Starr* Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words *Bigsmile*.

*Bulletb* Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was well chosen. The "teaser" line (or description *Smile*) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Copying a pivotal line from your poem is a great way to go.

*Bulletg* Grammar/Wording - The opening line solidifies the title's relevance to the write. *Thumbsupl* I saw nothing in error; a clean write is always a hallmark of a good poet.

*Bulletr* Form/Flow - Written in Schnujo form *Bigsmile* that broadly fits the definition of free verse, I found this flowed exceptionally well. Although purists will disagree, I subscribe to the definition that "Free Verse is a form of Poetry composed of either rhymed or unrhymed lines that have no set fixed metrical pattern." I thought your use of interspersed rhyme really lent itself to the flow of this.

*Bullet* Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout.

*Starbr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A very good read and a terrific testament to your conviction and talent. My hesitation is that it left me feeling that the poem was unfinished; that you left too much power in the hands of the partner and that very well may have been your point. Not everyone gets saved. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
204
204
Review of The Treasure Map  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Treasure Map"  on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done *Smile* I hated enjoyed this very much. It did, for me, hearken back to the Leprechaun, the movie, about an evil, sadistic Leprechaun who goes on a killing rampage in search of his beloved pot of gold.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery of this and thought you wove interesting word pictures into your story. You bring this from the realm of the written word into an engaging story that allowed me to enter this world you've created.

*Starg* Message/Theme:
Although labeled "folklore," which I'm sure leprechauns are *Bigsmile*, it was horror fantasy.

*Starr* Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words *Bigsmile*.

*Bulletb* Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was well chosen. The "teaser" line (or description *Smile*) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. "Samantha buys a "treasure map" and discovers magic behind the rainbow" is an excellent foretelling of the general theme.

*Bulletg* Grammar/Wording - The opening paragraph solidifies the title's relevance to the write. *Thumbsupl* I saw nothing in error; a clean write is always a hallmark of a good writer.

*Bulletr* Form/Flow - I thought the story flowed well. I personally would have liked a bit more at the end - interaction with the leprechaun - and less with Alice and the drinking round. The real star of this is O'hara and his role as a forest guardian and fleshing that out before the big reveal would highlight the creative and unique part of the tale. That said, I'm not the author. *BigSmile* I did, however, like the ending *Laugh*. Munch, munch.

*Bullet* Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout.

*Starbr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A very good read and I think a contender for Shorts Shots. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
205
205
Review of Snow Storm  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Susan *BigSmile*

Sorry I missed this round but, after reading your entry, just as glad I did *Laugh*. This was really good and left me feeling like I needed to go stand by the fire!

Congratulations on taking 2nd Place. Well deserved!

*Hug* Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
206
206
Review of love  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Rhyssa *BigSmile*

It's been a while, my friend ... go glad to have run across your posting!

This is a beautifully written free verse poem and captures the many faces of love that we so often forget about in our obsession with romantic love.

Excellent write!

*Hug* Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
207
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Laugh*OK, Susan, my friend ... this was a terrible poem - certainly befitting Dictator Trump *Rolling* Irregardless, it was clever and funny and ... sadly, true.

I would have given you 5 *Star* just for the line "Eventually, his 'cracking' seeped orange and smelled putrid." *Laugh* Totally came at me out of left field and I had a great laugh.

Thank you!

Ken

PS Keep the GPs!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
208
208
Review of A Colorful Life  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh great. Now you're talking to crayons. I'm beginning to see a disturbing pattern here *Laugh* Imaginary friends who suddenly aren't imaginary ... now talking crayons. Really Angus ... we need to talk *Rolling*

Clever, creative, and a great twist!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
209
209
Review of Enduring Flame  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

It's just me, Ken, and I saw you posted this on the Newsfeed which means you're looking for (1) some ego stroking or (2) some feedback *Laugh*. You know how I feel about your talent so you're going to get a bit of both. *Rolling* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Enduring Flame"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
A bit of a tongue-in-cheek romance write. "In ashes we'll recline?" *Laugh* Yeah, that's got the feel of a Ben Langhinrichs poem.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
There is a bit of snarkiness in your words that really kept me grinning the whole time. The flaming attributes of your words carry throughout and I, personally, loved it.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
C'mon *Bigsmile* - it's a love poem ... or at least a lust poem *Laugh*. You've taken these verses and in your own style expressed your love and interwoven your feelings that maybe this is less about love than the passion two folks feel for each other. A good, fun read!

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Written in a classic 8/6/8/6 meter with an abab rhyme, you kept true to your form of choice. The way you've constructed this, it reads beautifully and rolls of the tongue when read aloud. I did question some of your metaphors which really made sense in the context of your overall theme but didn't really resonate in translation.

Example: "Lust sparks against the screen." This is a great line and works well in the "fire" theme of your write but fell flat in the "what's he trying say" department. What screen?

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar* I always enjoy reading your work. Your mastery of the rhyme and meter is outstanding and your enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly. I really enjoy the subtly of your humor that's woven into what, on the surface, seem serious works. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
210
210
Review of Mr. Wiggles  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Angus

It's just me, Ken and yeah, you're getting the full treatment of this one *Laugh* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Mr. Wiggles"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
What a terrific tale. That'll teach parents not to just dismiss imaginary friends. Actually, there's a lesson here about wives and lovers too but I'll pass on that. *Rolling*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I love the twisted nature of your mind. You've taken a pretty stock tale about children and their imaginary friends and added a whole new dimension. Brilliantly done.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a two-part story. Part one is about Eric and his imaginary friend, Mr. Wiggles told entirely from his point of view. There are dark elements to it but, as a reader, I totally bought into the the story and where it was heading ... until the end. At that point, you rotated the point of view and we found that Mr. Wiggles was more than just imaginary. He might have been Eric's friend but he played a more significant role in Carol's life *Laugh*. The dark twist introduced by this just makes the climax of the tale really spectacular and a truly fun read.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I saw nothing that would keep me from saying "Technically perfect." So, what do you want? Oh, okay, here's your medal *Ribbon* *Rolling* From a story standpoint, this was totally satisfying. Sorry, only one medal per customer. *Pthb*

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* If you can't tell, I found this a very enjoyable read. I thought is was creative and fun. You've captured the innocence of Eric and played it against a darker vision of the world with great affect. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
211
211
Review of Son.  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Spiritual Dawning

It's just me, Ken, and as promised, I'm here to return the favor! *BigSmile* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Son."  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
A father's love for his son.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
Well said. I like the flow of ideas you've entwined in this revealing piece of poetry.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
You've captured the worries that a father has for his son as he shelters him, guides him, nurtures him into manhood and continues until even "when I'm old and time has come."

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I see you've written in couplets and organized in quatrains, each revealing a segment of life. For the most part, you've used trimeter (8 syllables) in each line but you shorten up to seven beats in verse 3. This throws the reading off just a bit. Several of the lines feel a bit forced, as though you were trying to keep the meter consistent and/or make the rhymes work but at the cost of clarity.

Example: "My son the first." Is this your first son, your only son, or a uniquely named son? *Smile*
Wouldn't "My son, first born ..." or "My only son ..." work just as well. All have 4 syllables but each offers clarity.

Your use of enjambment is good. Carrying the thought from line to line supports the flow.

Watch punctuation *Glasses*
Example: "But when I'm old and time has come. / As a dad, my work is done." This is a single thought but you've placed a period in the middle. This makes the reader stop/start and forces the reader to focus on how your telling your story rather than what your story is about.

I always recommend, after writing and posting, you wait 24 hours and then reread your work focusing on what the reader sees. Forget that you wrote it. You'll catch 99% of these small "ankle biters" *Laugh*. I do it with my own work and am always amazed at the little things I've overlooked or, being in the rush of creation, that I never noticed.
Example: "I hope the Lord to walk him home." as opposed to "I pray the Lord will walk him home."

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable and touching read. Your love and commitment to your son is clear. You have the emotions of a poet. Now, work a bit on the mechanics by writing, reading, and writing some more! *Bigsmile* Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best on your poetic journey,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
212
212
Review of Soul Mates  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Chris Breva

My name is Ken, which you know *BigSmile*, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Soul Mates"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" . I know you posted this in the "Invalid Item"  forum as a non-competitive piece but thought you'd like a formal review anyway.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Romance with a touch of melancholy. Most likely a long distance romance. *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I think this was an excellent use of the form. The refrain helps keeps a consistent focus on your feelings and the longing expressed in your words.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Written as a lament, you have imbued this with your emotions of loss and longing. The depth of your feelings are clearly captured in your refrain as you explore the impact on your soul.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Written in the Go Vat form, I thought you captured the essence of the form but there were deviations that break with the traditions. Go Vat consists of a couplet of usually eight syllables, which sets the rhyme for the subsequent stanzas, and a third line which can be repeated totally or phrase or just the final word. The meter was inconsistent, varying from 6 to 7. You used the traditional form keeping to one rhyme but I felt you sacrificed meaning to maintain the rhyme pattern. "The distance keeps my heart in a brew" seemed at odds with the rest of the poem. Your rhymes are solid perfect rhymes and show imagination and skill.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your approach to this form is laudable but you need to balance the form requirements with the message. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
213
213
Review of Essence of Wind  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi

My name is Ken which you know *BigSmile* and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Essence of Wind"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge in the "Invalid Item" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I apologize for the late review. Life happens *Laugh* Excellent form and true to the nature of you I've come to know.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
Believe it or not, I see most oriental poetry as nature related. You're the only one who integrated nature in their write *Laugh* I'm not sure if I should call that creative or mainstream *Rolling* but it was enjoyable, nonetheless.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a very enjoyable work about your relationship with nature - well, wind anyway. You set this up perfectly with your first verse and I could hear the chimes. As your poem progressed, I'll admit I got a little lost as to where you were going. When you got to "Persisted manic stories flee..." my grasp of where you were going was more tenuous although I made the connection that you were writing about how the wind was inspiration, and how your own reaction to it led you in a direction. Assuming I understood you which there's no guarantee of *BigSmile*

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Written in the Go Vat form, I thought you did a great job. Go Vat consists of a couplet of usually eight syllables, which sets the rhyme for the subsequent stanzas, and a third line which can be repeated totally or phrase or just the final word. You used the traditional form keeping to one rhyme. Kudos for your effort! Your rhymes are solid and show imagination and skill. I think you may have scarified some clarity for form. A few of the lines, such as "As a muse turns melancholy" and " Persisted manic stories flee" felt stilted to me and I just couldn't get them to flow like the rest of the poem.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar* Overall, I found this a very worthwhile and enjoyable read. Your approach to this form is laudable and you seem to have mastered the mechanics of it on the first try. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
214
214
Review of Bumped  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

My name is Ken which you know *BigSmile* and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Bumped"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge in the "Invalid Item" .

Before I begin, don't give me any crap about using a format *Laugh*. I promise, amidst the stock phrasing, there are pearls of personal insight and reactions to you work. *Rolling*

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
You are a star of humor (which is why I recommended you to Lornda as the next target for her Queen of Comedy Contest LOL). While this isn't "ha-ha" funny, it certainly provides a great summation of what transpires and will bring a smile to anyone who's been through it.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
Hmmm. Let's see. Who else would put Go Vat and pregnancy together? *Laugh* Oh wait, you misread it and thought "Go Fat." I see it now *Rolling* Yes, I read your posting and sometimes, like you, you know what you want to write. I think it was very creative to use this form for it.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a wonderful overview of pregnancy from post-inception (thankfully) to delivery. I like that you kept it light-hearted with lines like "Queasy and anxious, you feel double-wide" and my favorite, "Rush to the hospital, legs open wide" which I saw as coming full circle *Rolling*.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Warning: Boilerplate: Written in the Go Vat form, I thought you did an outstanding job. Go Vat consists of a couplet of usually eight syllables, which sets the rhyme for the subsequent stanzas, and a third line which can be repeated totally or phrase or just the final word. You used the traditional form keeping to one rhyme. End Boilerplate.Kudos for your effort! Your rhymes are solid perfect rhymes and show the imagination and skill that I've come to enjoy in all of your writings.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very fun and creative read. Your approach to meld your desired topic with the uniqueness of this form was exceptional. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! (which I know will *BigSmile*

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
215
215
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

My name is Ken which you know *BigSmile* and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Political Nightmare"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge in the "Invalid Item" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Excellent form and very topical. You wrote is as "a dream" - more likely a nightmare *Laugh* - but the way you approached it served as a warning to the waking world.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I think this was excellent, addressing what so many feel without getting into or naming Trump and his quirks. *Laugh*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a wonderfully complete work about how our leaders are blind to the needs of their people. I think you summed it up beautifully when you said, "Leaders who could not shed tears." There's no doubt that it seems, once elected, their vision narrows to "what's in it for me!"

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Written in the Go Vat form, I thought you did a great job. Go Vat consists of a couplet of usually eight syllables, which sets the rhyme for the subsequent stanzas, and a third line which can be repeated totally or phrase or just the final word. You used the traditional form keeping to one rhyme. Kudos for your effort! Your rhymes are solid perfect rhymes and show imagination and skill.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very worthwhile read. Your approach to this form is laudable and you seem to have mastered it on the first try. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


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Rated: E | (5.0)
Just a quick note ... this is so darned CUTE! Great rhythm and rhyme, fun, reads perfect out loud. There's nothing I could offer that would make this better.

Sometimes, poetry should just be FUN! Congratulations.

Ken *BigSmile*


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In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Enneazetton

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The road to Elland Pier"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
First and foremost - WELCOME TO WDC! I'm so glad you found us. I hope you'll find that we're a welcoming and supportive group. Now, on to your poem *Smile*. I was unaware of this but knowing the state of affairs in the U.S., it doesn't surprise me. We have an expression - "Blame for the innocents, praise for the guilty." *Laugh* Evidently, that much is universal.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed reading this, although "enjoyed" is a relative word. I was saddened that small communities are hit by such disasters. I will assume that Elland is rather dependent of the bridge for much of its commerce and I can see the hardships that it would did cause.

*Starb* Content:
Your poem evokes a vision of the destruction of a bridge in England. You've used very concrete terms (no pun intended) to describe what occurred as well as touching on the aftermath - both the physical and the political. Something to consider: you cite several politicians by name. I suspect that only those within your community would know who they are. To reach a broader readership, consider using titles since they tend to be more common and identifiable by readers. Also, remember that words don't always cross borders *Laugh*. I looked everywhere and have no clue what a "pinnine" is.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I use the definition "Free verse is an open form of poetry. It does not use consistent meter patterns, rhyme, or any other musical pattern. It tends to follow the rhythm of natural speech." I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar) and I saw only one small typographical error in the next to last verse- a crooked as the pavement, one old lady said. I suspect it should as been "as crooked ... "

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very interesting and yes, even enlightening, read. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

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218
218
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Dave

My name is Ken - no surprise there *Laugh* - and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Beachcombing Ballerina"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge for the current round of "Invalid Item" .

The designated form this week is the Tanka. Tanka is a 5-line lyric poem of Japan Like haiku, its shorter cousin, tanka usually is well-grounded in concrete images but also is infused with a lyric intensity and intimacy that comes from the direct expression of emotions, as well as from implication, suggestion, and nuance. The tanka aesthetic is broad and all-encompassing. You can write on virtually any subject and express your thoughts and feelings explicitly.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I grew up at the beach and literally see your poem in my mind. Well, except for the nautilus shells *Smile* - not too many in California.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This poem is about the shoreline and how the ocean unveils its treasures, only to turn and retrieve them.

*Starb* Content:
Your tanka brings us the vision of the beach and the tides. Your words are well chosen and convey the images that have found their way into your consciousness. For me, the introduction of the "beachcombing ballerina" was a little confusing. Was this an actual beachcomber whose movements were ballerina-like or was this a sea bird who chases after the tide, scooping up morsels? In either case, this is a great example of Exquisite detail. This style is indicated by exact and precise details with often complex imagery, one of the ten tanka techniques   described by Fujiwara Teika (1162-1241).

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
In many ways, the tanka resembles the sonnet, certainly in terms of treatment of subject. Like the sonnet, the tanka employs a turn, known as a pivotal image, which marks the transition from the examination of an image to the examination of the personal response. Your pivot was clear with the turning of the tide but I felt the vagueness of what followed lessened the impact. Your form and the technical aspects of your writing style were flawless, as I've come to expect.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable and relaxing read, recalling my own days at the beach. As experience has taught me, your mastery of poetic forms and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. It is always a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in your writing journey.

Ken

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Review of Winter Ecosystem  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi

My name is Ken - no surprise there *Laugh* - and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Winter Ecosystem"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge for the current round of "Invalid Item" .

The designated form this week is the Tanka. Tanka is a 5-line lyric poem of Japan Like haiku, its shorter cousin, tanka usually is well-grounded in concrete images but also is infused with a lyric intensity and intimacy that comes from the direct expression of emotions, as well as from implication, suggestion, and nuance. The tanka aesthetic is broad and all-encompassing. You can write on virtually any subject and express your thoughts and feelings explicitly.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Beautiful interconnected images brought me into this beautiful nature scene. How does a Mississippi girl know about such things? *Laugh*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This poem about nature and the natural law of survival. I liked the reference to season by implication (frozen levee) and while it's not a requirement of the form, the tanka is a relative of the haiku and the subtle reference was excellent.

*Starb* Content:
Your tanka brings us the vision of winter's harshness and a glimpse of the survival instincts of animals in the wild. This is a great example of Visual description – Miru tei. This is a rather bland (unemotional) style emphasizing visual description and imagery and often containing no subjective or emotive statements, one of the ten tanka techniques   described by Fujiwara Teika (1162-1241).

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
In many ways, the tanka resembles the sonnet, certainly in terms of treatment of subject. Like the sonnet, the tanka employs a turn, known as a pivotal image, which marks the transition from the examination of an image to the examination of the personal response. Your pivot was subtle, reflecting a continuation of the scene you were observing. Your form and the technical aspects of your writing style were flawless.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**HalfStar* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. As a "first timer" to tanka, you did an excellent job with the form and your enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly. It was a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in your writing journey.

Ken

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Review of Infinite Jest  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

My name is Ken - on surprises there *Laugh* - and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Infinite Jest"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers"  and as a judge for the current round of "Invalid Item" .

The designated form this week is the Tanka. Tanka is a 5-line lyric poem of Japan Like haiku, its shorter cousin, tanka usually is well-grounded in concrete images but also is infused with a lyric intensity and intimacy that comes from the direct expression of emotions, as well as from implication, suggestion, and nuance. The tanka aesthetic is broad and all-encompassing. You can write on virtually any subject and express your thoughts and feelings explicitly.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
As a fellow observer of the ridiculous state of our world and America in particular, your vieled poke at what's going on in our politics was a joy to read. I'm sure there are those who won't read between the lines but I assure you I did and applaud your cleverness and subtle sarcasm.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was a cleverly constructed tanka that took aim at the "alternative truth" proposition of certain political elements that are enjoying their "15 minutes of fame." *Laugh*

*Starb* Content:
Your tanka brings us the vision of how we can argue in the face of facts any proposition but, in the end, it is a false argument. This is a great example of Novel treatment – hitofushi aru tei. Using an unusual or original poetic conception, one of the ten tanka techniques   described by Fujiwara Teika (1162-1241).

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
In many ways, the tanka resembles the sonnet, certainly in terms of treatment of subject. Like the sonnet, the tanka employs a turn, known as a pivotal image, which marks the transition from the examination of an image to the examination of the personal response. Your pivot was clear and concrete and while I felt this was more observational than personal, it was very well executed. Your form and the technical aspects of your writing style were flawless, as I've come to expect.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable and amusing read. As experience has taught me, your mastery of poetic forms and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. It is always a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in your writing journey.

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of TIME  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Angus

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "TIME"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
You've been so kind to review so many of my works that I thought I'd return the favor. After reading this, I wonder why I've waited so long. A terrific story!

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I really enjoyed this. I love the mixture of history and the focus on American Indians and their strong ties to nature. Very poignant, very touching.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Written as Flash Fiction, you've managed to write a total story in 300 words or less. I don't think a lot of our audience understands what a challenge that is. I do. *BigSmile* This story focuses on the aftermath of the tragedy where white men have used mass destruction to conquer native Americans. We see this through the eyes of a survivor as she remembers both the death of her tribe and the destruction of the land.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Your writing is superb. The technical side showed the same care as the emotional side in this touching and poetic story. There's nothing I could suggest that would improve this. Great job!

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a wonderfully complete read. Your mastery of this short form and enthusiasm for the subject comes through clearly. I found myself taken by the story. My only criticism is that it's too short *Laugh*. I recommend that the next "What A Character" should include an expanded version of this. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Branch Theory  
for entry "The Naked News ?" 
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Muzzy *Laugh*

To answer your question ... evidently anything that will draw viewers *Laugh*. Now, had this been real, I would probably have watched it ... but only out of curiosity. *cough, sputter*

I appreciate your sarcasm and I'm sure if Roger Ailes was still in charge, he would have approved this in a heartbeat! *Rolling*

Keep writing and poking fun at the absurdity that swirls around us ...

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
223
223
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi The Ink Maiden~

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Not Broken, Just You"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Oookayyyy *Confused* I enjoyed the story but found it quirky for a number of reasons (which, I promise I won't keep a secret *Laugh*) I think you and I write in a similar fashion. It felt like you were watching a movie and rather than telling the story, you were describing the film as if unfolded.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
There were flashes of creativity here but I don't feel you capitalized on them. You hinted at things not explained or even addressed and I wanted to know more! *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a story about two ... somethings. *Smile* The characters - Parker and Persephone - interact over Parker's nightmare. The relationship seems, at first, to be between a mother and child but it soon is revealed that both are adults. There is clearly an emotional bond between them but is it love or something else. You hint that they are not human such as in "his antennae drooped shyly" but you never give the reader anything more. Are they insects or aliens? You even hint they may not be the same species as Persephone "nuzzles his neck" which doesn't seem consistent with antennaed beings. To be honest, I had them pegged as Preying Mantis's and fully expected her to devour him at the end *Laugh*. I felt you left too many questions unanswered in the character's themselves and that really distracted from the emotional edge that you clearly had in mind.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
As I said at the start - it felt like you were watching a movie and rather than telling the story, you were describing the film as if unfolded. You wrote this in the present tense which has the feel of immediacy and departs from a more traditional story form. On the bright side, you're dialogue is wonderful and really conveyed the emotions of your characters. I found it natural and easy to relate to. Believe it or not, most writers find dialogue difficult but you did a masterful job with it.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your enthusiasm for your characters comes through clearly and I found myself smiling. The use of present tense and the hints that this was something other than human interactions, however, really distracted from the story line. I found myself more focused on who they were and what the relationship was than on the interaction that was the true heart of the story. I think, with a little rework and some further explanation, this could really be a good story. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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224
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi 💙 Carly

It's just me, Ken, and I warned you *Laugh*.It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Resolutions Not Abandoned "  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" . Consider this a belated "Birthday Review" as well.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
You're my kind of gal! *Rolling* I can identify with the frustration as well as the indifference you've penned in this. I definitely got the humor as well; it's a great way to say what's on your mind without coming across as someone who - when it comes to resolutions - just doesn't give a ... Oooops, *Blush* almost broke a resolution *BigSmile*.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
The humorous slant you gave this adds to the impact. On the creativity front, I give you 5 *Star*! Anyone who includes B-52's and Beer in a poem gets high marks from me. *Ha*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This was both an answer to a prompt (which resolution did you NOT break) and also a poke in the eye at those who make the silly things in the first place. You captured shredded the "biggies" - weight loss, exercise, swearing, and having a more generous heart with a deft sense of humor and self-deprecation. Loved it! *BigSmile*

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
This was written in vers libre - free verse - so there really is no right or wrong. That said, free verse is not totally free. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. Free verse is the breaking of some old rules and the utilization of new tools, not the elimination of any and all rules.

All that said, it's not just prose or a story with random line breaks. Every choice you make should have a purpose to take your ideas or the reader forward. I didn't get that from reading this. The key to good free verse is consistency. If you're going to capitalize each line, then capitalize all the lines. If you're going to use punctuation, use it throughout.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a very enjoyable read. Your mastery of self effacing humor and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself laughing. My one hesitation is that I didn't feel this was a true poem. Read some of the masters like Whitman or Dylan Thomas and you'll see what I mean. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year ... both calendar-wise and in life.

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of More Lysol!  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinrichs

It's just me, Ken. I saw you posted this in the Newsfeed so I'm guessing you wanted some eyes on it. *BigSmile* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "More Lysol!"  on behalf of the "The Rockin' Reviewers" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Eight years since you wrote this ... and you still have't been caught! *Rolling* Dark humor, indeed! My favorite kind.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
What a wonderful response to the prompt - exactly what I would have done. As you can tell, this is going to be a very positive review. *Laugh*

*Starb* Plot/Content:
A crime of passion, a moment of anger, a can of Lysol. Yep, that pretty much covers it. *Laugh* You present this as a complete story and your use of identical opening and closing verses was well thought out - the second iteration in light of the story adds new meaning and insight.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Obviously, you are an accomplished poet. Written in monorhyme quatrains, I thought you did a fantastic job. I'm the first to admit that I'm "iambically challenged" *Laugh* so I won't comment on the meter other than to say you kept true to the tetrameter form. Your rhymes are solid perfect rhymes and show imagination and skill.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Overall, I found this a totally enjoyable read. Your mastery of the form, dark sense of the absurd, and enthusiasm for poetry comes through clearly and I found myself smiling throughout. I think this was underrated and the sheer cleverness of your response to the prompt and skill in writing was seriously overlooked. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best in the New Year,

Ken

** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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