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Review Requests: ON
337 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
When reviewing other's work I tend to be straight forward and honest. I do not do sarcasm as it can be taken as being rude. I do not like horror stories.
I'm good at...
I am good at finding spelling errors. I have tendency to read the words specifically, then my imagination kicks in and I can picture the scene.
Favorite Genres
Romance, Adventure, Erotic, Fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Educational, Horror, Gay/Lesbian, Occult
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Chapters, Novella, Poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels
I will not review...
Horror/Scary, Occult, Crime/Gangster, Ghost, Gothic
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- ... Next
101
101
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Okay. You got to keep writing. This is so worth it. What happens next?
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102
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Continued reading. Can't put it down.
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103
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reading these two pieces back to back without a long pause in between.

In beginning to read from Part 1 to Part 2 it does not quite flow right. The end of part one Melissa is suppose to be reading a book. But now it's she's playing with her dog. I figured that you would write something about her reading the book for the first time. It would pick up where you left off. Yet now that I have read the whole thing I see it does. Then again I see where if you read it separately, as in a random story, this beginning would make more sense.
What did the book feel like coming out of her pocket?
The flow in the story just keeps holding on and not letting me go.Unlike before when I proposed a pause in a conversation. Now I would not change anything. How did her father see the creature? Why did no one else see the creature? Aiming the gun at the family, I was not thinking that, interesting twist. I was thinking suicide and I like the fact that she was alive when the family left. What was the excuse that her father made to people for leaving? Just have to find out in the next story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
104
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a good beginning to some really great things to come! You gave enough descriptions to keep me reading and explained everything perfectly. The characters are compelling and curious. Why did Rebecca choose Melissa to take the book? Was Melissa the only person to have been in the house since Rebecca died?
Obviously, she will read the diary in the next chapter/story but what will it say. I am definitely going to have to keep going. The mystery is what happens next. Grammatical errors, I didn't notice any nor spelling mistakes.
Something you might think about is when Mr. Miller is attaching the tow rope you might pause for memory effect. Just slow it down a smidgen, small pause. Her would be my take. Just an idea.

"You went inside that house?" he asked. "You're braver than I am. When I was a little kid, my older brothers used to scare me with stories about it being haunted. It still gives me the creeps." He shivered. "Are you sure you saw a light? The place has been abandoned almost fifty years." He paused and looked over the corn field. "Come on, let's get your car out of this mud. You can follow me to my house and borrow a pair of my wife's shoes." (keep going with the story)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
105
105
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
You made me think...I was not sure what to expect with this poem. I like it. It's about growing up and seeing what was around you was actually there and now it's your turn to help those who need you. I know you probably said that exactly. I enjoyed this poem. The one word I did not understand was "copse" in the first line. Can you help?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
106
106
Review of All four in one  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (1.0)
Short and Sweet and Hard to Beat. I figure you are working on something. LOL


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
107
107
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You have a revelation of God that most so not realize is available. I understand your search for God and agree that He lives in us, but as a Christian I have to ask if you have received Christ as your personal Savior. If you really want to know what your God is like then receive the free gift of salvation and become closer than you've known.
I like your article. It's nice to read someone who believes the same way I do.
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108
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a really thoughtful poem. I understand where you are coming from and where you are going in this poem. I like the fact that no only did you wish everyone on WDC happy birthday or anniversary you included the founders of the place too. I love it. Reading this was rewarding in itself. thank you for sharing and keep writing.
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109
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is cute and creative. I enjoyed reading it. Congrats on the win and keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
110
110
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
You know how to tell a great story. I totally understand where you are coming from. Trying to find the time and place to write when the inspiration hits is hard. I hope you have not lost your thoughts completely. LOL Sometimes you just want to sit when they have left and reach out and say "come back. come back please. I promise not to forget. I promise to write you down." This is a great story and I loved it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
111
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Review of Unspoken  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is cool. It's whimsical and light. I like it. It is not what I expected but it is good. I think I was looking for something deeper but needed this none the less. Thank you for sharing keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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112
Review of Closer to Even  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is interesting. You have two people who are different in many ways. They are trying to get along and yet they can't for some reason and yet in the end it's possible if one gives something up to the other. I am not sure if I understand the situation and maybe I am making too much of it. I like the poem as a whole but "we can all work out in a beautiful world, but we don't, that doesn't change a thing." Why not?
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113
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this because it explains you and why you create works of writing art. I can see myself in this piece a little because it reflects why I write. Thank you for sharing.
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114
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
the descriptions are realistic and vibrant. I enjoyed seeing what you saw in the forest while walking in the rain. I wish I was there to experience it too. The poem will do. Thank you for sharing.
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115
Review of After  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (3.5)
A very interesting piece. It is an easy read, just a bit confusing without more detail. My recommendation is that when you post a scene do not put more than one paragraph break between paragraphs. It made me think I was almost something different, a different scene or piece of the scene.
I did notice the breaks in scene marked with the astricks *** I like that. I hope you continue writing with this story. I am not great with grammar and punctuation but I understood what you were saying so to me that's good. I did not see any spelling errors. Just need more detail. Keep writing. Hope to see more soon.
116
116
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (2.5)
Where did the child's shoe come from? Did the Chimmi take the shoe off the foot or were they being carried by an adult or the child herself? Personally, I think that the paragraph beginning with "French bulldogs..." should be reworked. The first sentence is useful for the information used in the paragraph, but placed in the wrong order.

"Chimmi began paddling out to sea at a rate hertofore unseen. His short legs coupled with a small, barrelled body made him less than ideal for movement in the water, at least for a french bulldog. He appeared to be heading for the line of grey cargo ships anchored to the horizon."

This is a cute story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of ENIGMA  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (3.0)
You have a very vivid imagination. The story makes sense but it does not make sense. What was the act of kindness? How were the three trials accomplished? I am confused. Please help. What was the point of the left over trapeze artist that read minds obtaining the conversation between Kale and Magellan? Why were the trapeze artists working as sound engineers? How was Flip Jupiter trying to widen the universe and how did he create Kale?

Am I making more out of this than there should be?
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Funeral's are hard to get through especially when you don't really know the person that has passed. I sort of felt that way when an uncle passed away on my husband's side of the family. I had visited with the family but we weren't close. Anyway, the story is involved. I don't understand why she came back, why she was gone or why her parents act the way they do. It is a good story though. I enjoyed it. Thank you for writing this because I pictured pieces of my uncle's viewing in the story to get the picture.
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Review of Escaping Yourself  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I love it!!! I love that the thought had changed through the poem. Being in a dark place is hard to live in. When you come out of the dark place and let it go then things seem to get better. I hope you keep writing. I am also glad that death was not the end of the story. Simply shutting the door on the dark thoughts. AWESOME!!!
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Review of Bryce's WorkBook  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Let me see if I understand how your workbook has flowed up till now. What you have written for the day was placed in your book. It consists of different stories of characters around the same story. My book for this challenge is not the same. I kept my updates short and sweet. Not much detail simply because mine is mostly done outside my computer. Would it better if I were to write what I have written on paper? That way I have proof of what I have written? which is better Paper or computer?
121
121
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a piece of work. I really like the fact that you brought his thoughts to life. What happens next? Why was he defeated? If he was in an abandoned house then why not pick your stuff up, go back in and find out what's in the cupboards.
Why is he saving the last bullet? For himself in the future or for someone else?
122
122
Review of Ode to Coffee  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have a wonderful way of describing a cup of coffee. This piece fits my mornings as it probably does yours. Personally, I don't know if the lines about "For centuries man has waited, waited, Waited over and over for this very moment" I think it should be omitted because it does not add anything to the poem. It is a great poem and described the first cup of the morning perfectly. You are correct, it is liquid addiction. Keep on writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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123
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (3.0)
I really enjoyed this short story. It needs a lot of corrections, most are the same thing. The main problem I found were the apostrophes for the wouldn't, couldn't,etc. I am still new to the reviewing process so I am not sure how to list corrections or problems, so I will do them my way and if it is wrong please let me know. Check the tense of the story after the letter. It seems to skip from past tense to present tense. Not sure if that was intentional.

This is my last attempt at healing.
I lay under the stars just like we always did, i even held the same blanket you always used, but, that didnt even take away the pain I felt. All I can think about is how cold and alone I feel on this warm summer night. It seems that even the bugs leave me be on this night. Its our night. It would have been one year that we were married, if you were still here. I wouldnt be crying or cursing at the night air, bugs, trees, or anything that is listening to me.
Everyone tells me its time to move on; its time to put you in my past. This letter im writing to you will be the last i think about you. This will be the last time you take over everything I do, think, feel, see, or do. I cant have a forgotten man controling everything I do. People still look at me as if something is missing, but it happens less and less each day. sometimes its even weeks before someone bring (brings) you up. That doesnt make my heart hurt any less.
There are times that i see someone that looks like you and my heart skips a beat as i start to yell your name. I feel my chest fall to my stomach as i realize that its just another trick. This really needs to stop happening. I just wish we knew what happened to you. Just a clue even. Something (Even a clue, something) to let me know, this will be OK.
The last time we spoke I never got to tell you how much you mean to me or how much I need you. I just need you to know that I knew I loved you the first time i laid next you under the night sky and you made me forget all my troubles. In that night I never thought I would grow to need you the way I do, but i wouldnt change it for the world. I will love you with every breathe (breath) I take.
Love Always
Roxxie.

Only a handful of people knew about the letter. Theres nothing I had to say to them. No need to explain myself to anyone. I dont even know what I would have said to anyone else. I follwed (followed) the oldest cliche; I put my letter in a bottle. I dragged my best friend at eleven o'clock at night over sixty miles to the nearest ocean. She didnt take much convincing, which why i bared my soul to her on almost every occasion. (I understand what you are saying but the wording is weird in my opinion.) I walked alone to edge of the cliff. Where (comma instead of period) I sat and stared at the night ocean for an unmeasurable (immeasurable) amount of time. All I did was stare at the bottle and the dark abyss ocean. (wording: maybe write "ocean of dark abyss.") Before I lost courage I threw the bottle as far away from cliff as I could.Note: You threw the bottle while sitting down on the edge of a cliff? Detail to think about. There is no way for me to know if it made it in one piece or not, but I dont care either. Its time for a clean slate. A new start.



I sat there awhile just watching the black ocean waves crash against the rocks and fall back into the ocean. I scanned my eyes to find some sort of horizon, but all i could see was ocean leading into a starry night sky. It's one of the most beautiful and peaceful sights I've ever seen. It helps (to) put things into to perspective; shows me just how small we really are. Helps me cope with all the emotional turmoil that lives inside me. I leave my worries and cares back on the cliff. I leave with a new outlook on my life.
"Move with me to the coast." (comma instead of period) I say as I got back into my car. "Let's get a new start on life." I start the long drive back into the city. Not much to my surprise, she didn't argue much on moving. She asked me when I wanted to move and said we'd make it happen. Instead of narrating make it a conversation of it's own.
Over the next few weeks I saved all of the money I made at my job in our city's market store. I only spent what was absolutely necessary. Within the next two months we had saved enough money between us to take a new start sixty miles to the west.Over the next few weeks I saved...Within the next two months WE (are you working together to save money are is your focus only on "you"?)

We didn't even bother packing our clothes or belongings. Everything I had reminded me of us, of him, our life we would never have again. She brought very few things, too: her computer, cell phone, few items of make up, and the clothes on her back. That's all either of us had. Lee sounded more excited about going than I did. I'm not real sure if she was acting excited for my benefit or hers, maybe both. Neither of us had ever moved this far away from home before. This was going to be my biggest step towards achieving some of my goals.


Well, I hope that I have helped more than caused problems. I really did enjoy the story. Thank you for sharing. I hope you keep writing into this because I want to know names and places of where they go, how did the husband die. If you have any questions please feel free to message or email me.
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Review of The Creator  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem so fit. I enjoyed it and agree with it. I would not change anything about it except the creator at the end to capital C. Love it. Thank you.
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Review of You Said  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem is really great. Although I may not know what brought it on I feel I know where it came from. I appreciate what you have written.
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