I wrote this in a reply to a review that you did on my work. Someone once told me that it doesn't matter how you interpret a poem as long as you
read and enjoy. We can all read different meanings from them, perhaps I should remember
that when I review.
Then I came to review "Multivalence" Often a poet is surprised by the "meaning" the Reader gathers from his poems. But Dan Sturn proposes that this is a natural process, and that the Poet doesn't really understand the meaning in his own work, as it was given to him from his Muse. When a Poet sees that somebody has gathered a meaning from a poem that did not occur to the Poet . . . . Multivalence has occurred.
You said, so eloquently, what I was fumbling to say and as I read more I found myself nodding in agreement with what you had to say.
This is a well written and most interesting theory. It gives the reader much to consider.
I found your poem very interesting. It certainly is a different take on The Lord's Prayer. You have made the second line encompass many faiths instead of just the one We know you by so many different names. but basically all the elements are still there.
and help us with our cravings and our blames,
and lead us not into temptation
deliver us from loving’s counterpart.
deliver us from evil.
I like your use of language and I like your prayer.
I saw no errors.
This is a beautiful poem for your daughter. I was blessed with a son [no daughters :( ] and had to leave him to go out to work so I understand the feelings you expressed in your poem.
I enjoyed reading it and saw no errors.
I think the title you used is just perfect. this is a lovely poem for your husband. It has good rhyme and even though there is no set syllabic pattern it flows well; I found the last line, for me, stumbled a little bit. Just knowing you really do care. Perhaps Just knowing that you really care Just a suggestion, I enjoyed reading your poem very much.
Congratulations on winning first prize with these simply beautiful haikus.
I see nothing to fault them nor would I expect to knowing your love of form. I think the third is my favourite.
Whole world against you?
Remember that God is not.
His grace is supreme.
Thank you for putting an explanation of the scheme used along with your poem. It is always a good help to the reviewer.
Your poem follows the scheme well, as one would expect. It reminded me of times when as children, my sisters and I would lie on our backs and look for pictures in the clouds. Lovely words.
An unexpected topic for a poem but certainly a meritorious one. The introduction of alien species to habitats can cause havoc among it's natural inhabitants. A good way to bring more notice to the problem.
An enjoyable poem with good rhyme; the last sentence brought a smile to my face.
Write on!
~Sue~
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As this is a review for Simply Positive I am returning the auto-reward.
Wow - what can I say? This is absolutely fantastic! The rhyming was excellent. I didn't bother with the syllabic count, I was too busy reading and enjoying, but it certainly flowed well.
It definitely was 'a great story in rhyme!'
I just loved this, I laughed all the way through (I know, it's a serious subject but...)
The rhyme and the rhythm were perfect and the last line rounded it off so well. There were no errors!
As an EX smoker all I can say is "the benefits are worth the pain,"
It is a delightful children's story. It is so easy to picture a child weighing up risking the wrath of the "bunny with bulging eyes" in order to have the jelly beans! (I personally would prefer the chocolate bunny :)
I am sure that children would really enjoy listening to your lovely story.
I'm sure every mothers who's child has left home must suffer 'empty nest' syndrome. It took me ages to to get used to cooking for just two, although the fact that the house stayed much tidier was a bonus!
I loved your story and the cute picture of the dog.
I noted no errors.
What an absolutely delightful story. It reminded me of happy times with my son as a child. Although it wasn't a laughing matter I have to admit to a smile at the part where Hayden slammed his foot down on the escaping frog.
I noted one spelling error dispondant/despondent I was too busy enjoying it to look for other errors.
A great poem using The Boss's song titles. I tried it myself with country songs "Country in my Soul" and really had fun with it.
Your poem has good flow and rhyme and I really enjoyed reading it.
Another wonderful glimpse into your life. You describe things so well. Wouldn't it be great if we could bottle all our childhood memories to take out when we needed a little reminder.
I enjoyed reading it.
This folder contains poetry that you have quite rightly described as 'emotional.' It would be hard to select just one of the poems in it as a favourite as they are all so good. A collection of gems!
I guess I'm just an old romantic at heart, so anything in that genre will always have my vote
I noted no technical errors and I enjoyed reading your poem.
Write on!
~Sue~
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I haven't seen many 'shape poems' so for me, this was interesting.
I had no difficulty following the theme of your poem once I had googled 'The Watsons go to Birmingham.'
I like anything that arouses my curiosity and sends me off on a search, I find it adds to the reading experience.
I noticed no errors.
Write on!
~Sue~
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My poor mother had six girls to contend with lol. The first up in the morning was the best dressed
I loved reading your poem, it made me smile.
The rhyme was good and although there was no set rhythm the poem flowed well.
What did we do before WDC?
Write on!
~Sue~
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Ponderings... (E) Free-flowing... just kind of a mash up of a lot of thoughts I've been having lately... #1458883 by Nila - Out of town
I love your description of this piece 'just a mash up of a lot of thoughts'
That's what writing is all about isn't it? Putting our thoughts together on paper and making some sense of them - which is just what you have done here!
My own poor attempts at free verse don't make me the best person to judge an others efforts but I can say that, as I read this I found that it was a lovely calming read. Thank you for sharing it.
I enjoy writing and reading lyrics so it was good to see this song amongst the items to be reviewed.
I like the way you used internal and end rhyme and I thought the chorus was strong.
I wasn't too sure about the use of the abbrev. 'cus' and felt that something along the lines of 'making moonlight.....' would have made the chorus even stronger but that's just my opinion. Overall, a good song, I enjoyed reading it.
Congratulations on winning Khalish's Contest with this outstanding poem. The imagery is superb as is the form. I loved everything about it. You certainly have 'a poet's eye'.
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