What wonderful memories you have. You described events really well, so well in fact that although I have never seen that much snow, it was easy to visualize it.
Well written and interesting.
I noted a couple of typo's
Multistory - multi-storey
livingroom - living room
Could this be just one sentence?
Ok, so I wasn't really strapping. But after splitting..........
Ok, so I wasn't really strapping but after splitting ……..
You have an interesting style of writing and although my first love is rhyming verse I enjoyed reading this. You also had me reaching for my dictionary for 'parhelic circle,' so I also learned something new today.
I felt it didn't really need splitting into 'verses' but that's just my opinion, I noticed no errors and there was nothing I would change.
What a lovely read. It reminded me of the times we used to sit and listen to mother as she told us tales of her childhood.
I love the addition of a recipe too, it sounds really good.
If this is a rough start then I can't wait to see the polished item. I found the imagery excellent. You painted a picture for the reader and the story held my interest all the way through. A great start, I look forward to reading more.
Write on!
I thought that the idea for your story was a good one. If I were to take issue with any of it, it would be to say that it took your writer a long time to realise what made people want to read his work. (as the years crept by)
You hit the nail on the head in the last sentence because it is true that a good story is one that makes the reader 'feel'.
Well done - Write on!
I knew the word pantheism but had never heard the word panentheism before reading your article. You explained the difference really well and in a way that was easy to understand. I found it interesting and enlightening. Thank you.
Waiting For My Daughter (E) A short story showing the heartbreak of a daughter dealing with her mother's Alzheimer's. #1415338 by Thayamax
What a beautifully heartwarming story. From experience, I know the devastating effect that Alzheimers has on families. Your story highlights the frustrations and you're right in saying 'go with the flow! It takes patience, your story illustrates this well. Write on.
Reginald (13+) It's not really poetry, more like rhyme in the style of Hilaire Belloc's Cautionary Tales. #1429801 by RaroMama
in the poetry newsletter.
What a fun read. It had rhythm and rhyme and flowed really well. It put me in mind of the monologues performed by Stanley Holloway ( an old English actor probably well before your time)
I noticed 1 minor fault. The second line of the first verse has an extra syllable. 'easily' has 3 syllables (Oxford) Nonetheless, a good poem.
Write on! ~Sue~
The rhyming is good and the poem flows well even though there is no set rhythmic pattern.
In the last line might I suggest 'greatest joy' instead of 'biggest joy.' This is only a suggestion for you to use or discard as you wish.
The sentiments are beautiful and I always find that there is so much more pleasure to be gained from giving rather than receiving. A lovely poem.
Write on!
It put a smile on my face and brought back memories of quite a number of embarrassing moments in my own life (they still make me blush remembering)
A lovely story - thank you for sharing.
I Was A Tiger (13+) A poem inspired by the San Francisco zoo tragedy. #1369518 by Harry
Living in the UK I hadn't heard of this tragedy although we have has similar things happen here. I really like the way you have written this from the tiger's point of view.
He was not in a cage by choice.
Your poem has good rhyme and rhythm and has something to say. I enjoyed reading it.
Your short story is wonderfully descriptive, you take the reader along with you on your hike. I could envision the 'lull before the storm.' It often feels like that before an electric storm.
I see no errors and there is nothing I would alter.
I love poetry prompts and I think that you have made excellent use of the words provided. I have to admit to looking in the dictionary for the meaning of the word 'oneiric' but if you love language then learning new words is part of the fun of writing and reading. A good poem, I enjoyed reading it.
I have been reading your poem and I have to say that the positivity shines out. Life is not always easy but with God's help we take each day and make the best of it we can. I wish you well.
I noted two typos : )
Life is too short......
Just hop on board
This short story certainly tugs at the heartstrings. You paint a great picture making it easy for the reader to visualise Jeremy's feelings as he waits to find out if he is the chosen one. I guess I'll never know but I really hope he was !
I like how you have taken the events of September 11th and turned them into something positive. Many times, man's inhumanity to his fellow man beggars belief and maybe if more people thought the same as the words of your poem then the world might change for the better.
Another excellent poem. I'm not surprised that it won first place in a contest, it has perfect rhyme, I love the alliteration and it flows really well.
The poetry in your port is a joy to read.
What a delight your poetry is. Your work covers a whole gamut of emotions. I love the humour in this poem and the ingenuity you use to turn a funny story into an even funnier poem. I'm hooked - I must read more.
What a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to that special someone, and what better way to say it than in verse.
The rhyming is good and although there is no set rhythm it flows well. A romantic at heart, I liked this poem very much.
This is a very emotional write that draws the reader in. You describe your feelings so well that anyone who has lost someone they love can empathise with you.
Thank you for sharing this and I wish you well.
Hi Legerdemain
Your story left me with chills running down my back. Isn't it strange the things people dream about. In my worst nightmare I am taking off in an aeroplane. As it leaves the ground I usually wake in a cold sweat. It put me off flying for decades. When I finally made it onto a plane it was nothing like the dream!!
I found no faults and have no suggestions - a good write!
Isn't it wonderful how one title promp can produce so many different poems? I am sure that you, like me, could have gone on adding verse after verse of memories.
As always, your meter is perfect.
Thank you for sharing these memories with the reader.
All My Love... (E) A Creative/Original writing essay I did. I got A* for it! #1392475 by Jess xXx
Comments/Review.
Any comments are intended as helpful suggestions, to be used or discarded at will.
I have no comments to make except to say that you have made an excellent start. I enjoyed reading your essay immensely. It would be interesting to see it enlarged upon with a few more adventures facing your 'hero' before he can return to his betrothed. :)
Hi - I'm Sue and I'm reviewing 'Dead Poets'.
The rhyming was good and I found no grammar or spelling mistakes.
I noted that the poem used a 6-5-6-5 syllabic rhythm except for the 4th verse which used 5-6-6-5. I don't know if this was intentional but for me (and this is only my opinion) it detracted from the flow of the poem somewhat.
Overall though a good poem - keep writing
Sue :)
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