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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/intuey
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1,529 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
The lengths addicts will go to get a fix and the state of one being in the midst of a high. The ups and downs are fast and drastic.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I really like the form you used to write this piece. It gets the point across strongly and shows not only the physical pain one goes through but also the emotional highs and lows.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
This writing is pact with emotional impact. The lines which were written makes one want to reach out to the addict and try to save them, but the writer lets it be known that the only person who can save them is themselves. As they will do and act any way they need to, to get what they need for a fix, and simply can't be trusted.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


Aleister Crowley came back from Hell
(he’d decided to go to church)
My Strat had begun to sing on its own
belting out a daemon's tune.
And when I joined my voice to this macabre song
even the shadows swooned.


Such powerful and image-pact lines!


*Penr* Thank you so much for sharing this emotional and honest writing with us!


*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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2
2
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
The writing is about the internal fight of what goes on inside your psyche when fighting against depression and other mental illnesses, and how just the slightest light of hope can keep one fighting for the release of distorted thinking.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I liked the way you showed graduation of the prison distorted thinking can hold the sufferer lost within their own mind but how just the slightest offer or glimpse of hope can start to bring one out of their prison of falling deeper into a mental state.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
I could truly relate to this piece. Your words painted a picture of the emotional turmoil one goes through when they feel like they're drowning in mental illness and how just clinging to the slightest spark of hope can start to turn around that suffering and downfall.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


I saw Hope walking along
The edge of my River of Despair.
Rescue was proffered


I like how this shows even in the pits of despair, one is always keeping an eye out for a chance at rescue.


*Penr* Thanks so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading your piece.


*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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3
3
Review of "Panic Attack!!"  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
A short piece written in sonnet form to take the reader into the experience of the writer's first panic attack.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
You did a great job getting across to the reader that the experiencer can feel it creeping in on them from somewhere far off -- a hint from mental and physical minute changes, and as the writer knows it's coming, they feel like nothing they do can change it. Death sneaks upon them and with every breath, they feel closer to the other side. It's all very real and truly scary.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
You do a pretty good job getting across the feeling to the reader, but then I've had them so I know exactly how you're feeling and where your emotions may attack next.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


I take on a dark aspect first and hear
a ghost-like clock tick-tocking in my ear
as if from a morbid place buried deep
in the recesses of my troubled mind


I like these lines because you were able to get across to the reader how a hidden feeling deep within starts to creep out. Not an easy task. Great job! *Thumbsup*


*Heartg* My Suggestions:
I would like to see more showing with more powerful, impactful words:

As I hyperventilate my lungs scream(10 sllables)
for oxygen that's not inhaling there(10 syllables and rhyming word)


*Penr* Bulged out eyes, arms flailing, I beg for air(10 syllables)
like a clogged up vacuum my need's not there(10 syllables with your rhyming word still there)


*Pen* as I feel Death approaching all too near
with every gasped-for breath of air I take!


With these two lines when reading aloud the last two words of the second line breaks the flow. It knocks the whole flow off. This is an easy fix, just write the second line like this:


with every gasped for breath I crave of air


This keeps your syllabic count and helps the flow with the end words of near and air. *Smile*


*Heartt* Summary:
This is a nice piece with just a little tweaking of a few words it will dramatically improve the desperation of what the writer is going through, while also helping the flow and rhythm. Nice. *Smile*

*Fox* Please know this is just my opinion. Please take what you want and discard the rest. *Smile*


*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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4
4
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
The thoughts, emotions, and scenarios that run through your mind when someone asks the question which entitles this piece: What's wrong with you now? They may not come right out and ask this exact question but it's more than implied. Not only in their words but in their actions/reactions and expressions. It's a demeaning, harsh and belittling remark. The person asking this sounds like they really don't care anyway, and probably don't believe you.

It has been a question I've asked myself several times. Are you can even say it is a question I have punished myself with. We know the way we are feeling and what we're going through is very real. Sometimes, it's reality is so much more real than what we present to others.


*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I like the way you took this question from an outsider and within a few lines you turned it around and used it to point at your own self. This is so true to what we do to ourselves. It's a harmful thought process that we need to learn to turn around,

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
To me, this piece is very impactful. It stirs up conversations I have had with others and myself. It shines a spotlight on this line of negative thoughts and makes one realize the chaotic turmoil going on within their psyche.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


Emotions, like winds
over a raging sea.
This is my normal.
What's wrong with me?


I like this last stanza because it shows the ever-changing emotions that we go through. The way you ended the piece with the very question you've been tossing around your mind, to me takes some power back. You can almost take this as saying, this is my normal, so what's wrong with me? Nothing I can't take ownership over. I admit. I accept the truth. Do you?

I know you can go another way with this line completely--but for me, this reader chooses to see the light and the hope. Our emotions may be all over the place but as long as I'm aware I can work on bettering myself. Not everyone can say that. *Smile*


*Heartt* Summary:
A nice piece which takes the reader along on scattered thoughts, causing inner thoughts and reflections. Nicely done! *Thumbsup*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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5
5
Review of invincible?  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
Being in a manic phase and how it can make you feel invincible. How should one react to being manic? Should they embrace the feeling or truly fear it? This writing takes the reader on a ride within a manic's episode.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I enjoyed how the writer showed the different stages and uncertainties associated with being manic. It leaves the experiencer often confused and exhausted with a big mess to clean up when it's all over.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
Excellent job getting across the intense impact of different emotions one feels. Being manic may make you feel like a queen and someone who cannot be stopped but at the same time it brings up the emotions of not being quite sure of how to handle the situation. They're confused -- feeling fear vs. bravery, subject vs. royalty, fight vs. flight. All of these emotions can happen immediately after each other and all tumbled together. *Headbang*

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


always driven to go against the norm.
this Empress needs her Crown.

it's such a thin line, insanity.


You are sooo right! There is definitely a very thin line between "normal" and "insanity"


*Heartt* Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us! I enjoyed it. *Smile*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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6
6
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
Be careful of judging others, for it doesn't take much for the unexpected to put your psyche into a tail-spin shifting your reality and opening your eyes to ways of life that use to remain hidden. It's easy to ignore what's going on around you and within other's lives if you have never experienced it. But be careful judging others. There's only a thin wall which separates the two.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
A raw writing of how it feels to be in a state of sadness, turmoil and depression. The title is excellent and adds to the body of work: how it feels to have, "The Demons In My Head" How the voices just never seem to stop trying to get you to sink deeper and deeper instead of renewing your mind and helping you to get better. Your definition shares that others going through the same are not alone! And a lot of times that truly helps one just to know they're truly not alone.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
The emotional impact of your writing shines through. The descriptive words and lines bring the reader into your world, sharing the pain of just trying to get through each day. One which feels like you're in the pits of hell. It's a tough fight just to keep going every day.

*Heartt* Summary:
A sad, vivid writing which takes the reader on the torturous thoughts going through the mind of one in the depths and despair of depression and anxiety. Of how their mind is over-run with deceptive images and voices of flat-out lies. The sufferer can not get away because it's all internal. Causing their hell and demons to seem inescapable. *Sad*

*Penr* I only found one typo: I can't breath,


I can't breathe,


Thanks so much for sharing!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey



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7
7
Review of Down - Not Out!  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
Be careful of judging others, for it doesn't take much for the unexpected to put your psyche into a tail-spin shifting your reality and opening your eyes to ways of life that use to remain hidden. It's easy to ignore what's going on around you and within other's lives if you have never experienced it. But be careful judging others. There's only a thin wall which separates the two.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I like how you brought attention the fact that one should be very careful in judging because it only takes an unexpected life action to bring you to that very same place.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
You did a wonderful job showing the reader the turmoil which goes on behind the psyche of the inflicted. Great job! *Thumbsup*

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:
I like how you draw attention to understanding how easy it is to fall into actions other's may judge, i.e; drinking and drugging. A lot of times the people doing so are in such a mental state of being that they're desperate to try anything which may take them away from reality for a while.

*Heartt* Thank you so much for sharing!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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8
8
Review of Mother  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
The damage caused to children who are abused. The physical pain hurts but the mental/emotional pain is carved into their psyche and soul for life. The scars that can not be seen are always the deadliest. *Cry*

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
The writing starts out as third person -- showing the reader the harm that is being done to the child and painting us a picture with strong descriptive words. By the end, the poem finishes in the first person, showing the reader that all defenses are torn down by hateful words caused by the very adult who is supposed to love them and aid in their spiritual growth, instead of causing their spiritual decline.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
This piece leads the reader throughout the horrid abuse caused to an innocent child. The impact of those words is even stronger for one who knows how this feels first hand. There is NO excuse to ever degrade another human being like this, especially one so innocent.

*Heartt* Summary:
An emotional and strong piece of writing which shows how damaging words can be. Very sad. *Sad*

If you doubt words have so much power, try a scientific test that can not lie: Try filling cups with water, for each positive action toward a cup of water, use another cup to do a negative action to: i.e: Pray over one cup of water, while cursing the other cup of water. Play soothing music or positive meditations to one cup of water and degrading rap or negative hard rock to the other. Make sure you mark each one. Do this every day to the same cup for a week, afterward, look at the crystals of water under a magnifying glass -- the positive action water will have gorgeous, clean crystals, while the negative action water will be gloomy, dirty and scattered. We are mostly made up of water, so it makes sense that the same would happen within our bodies/mind/spirit. You can look at these experiences up on the internet if you do not have a magnifying scope.


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9
9
Review of Bloodshed  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
The turmoil of the mind and spirit and how self-inflicted cutting helps one actually feel relief from pain. It's a pain that they can control and no one else has power over the physical pain which covers emotional turmoil and abuse caused by others.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
You hold the reader's attention from the very beginning. You paint us a picture of how obtaining relief from cutting helps only temporarily. In the long run causing emotional turmoil and self-deprecation from the act which brings only temporary instant satisfaction, while adding to the over-all chaos within your soul.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
Strong emotion is felt all throughout your piece, impacting the reader quite strongly. I could feel the turmoil within your descriptive words.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:
The whole piece is gut-wrenching. While the subject matter is quite sad, I'm so glad you were brave enough to write about this. So many suffer in silence and I know your writing will help bring them peace, knowing they are not the only ones who are impacted by these actions.

*Heartg* My Suggestions:
Sorry, no suggestions. It's a great piece just as it is.

*Heartt* Summary:
I really liked how this piece started out with a one-two punch and did not let up. We were able to follow through the thoughts and feelings which lead to the cutting and how it made them feel afterward and in the long run. Good strong piece. Thanks so much for sharing.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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10
10
Review of Loneliness  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
One in such depths of despair they're ready to take that ultimate plunge into death. One where you may not ever get another chance at happier times and growing stronger, as each battle is fought and overcome during life, the shield of inner strength grows as well. It's so important to never give up!

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
A lot of meaning came across in a very few lines. The reader is taken into the turmoil mind of the sufferer.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
Strong emotion came through each line written. You did a wonderful job getting the pain and finality across in such a short piece. *Thumbsup*

*Heartt* Summary:
This piece can also double for an analogy of how quickly depression can turn into deep despair where one feels like there is no return and they take that ultimate trip of no return. But just as quickly as this can happen, if you just hang on and keep fighting, the severity of your sadness can start to turn around. Always seek help and keep trying until you find help from the one you're comfortable with. Meds help as well, though it usually takes a month for them to kick in. Keep fighting the good fight. *Inlove*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON!*Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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11
11
Review of 68 Minutes  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
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#2188408 by Char 🌈


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:
Heart-breaking bullying on the school bus of one little boy who is a bit different from the others and the not so obvious avoidance that accompanies his bus ride every day.

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity:
I like that this was told by another child on the bus who not only recognizes the pain caused by this sort of behavior but also prays that he will quit adding to his pain and have the guts to do what is right and reach out to this hurting child.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact:
OMGosh! The emotion expressed throughout the poem is truly impactful. Tears were in my eyes. I think we can all relate to some extent to both characters in this piece. The pain by both individuals is well written and shared throughout.

Also, the fact that he did try to tell parents/teachers what was happening and no one would listen to him or take him seriously was also very emotional. How often does this happen? Everyone just ignores and hopes it goes away and before you know it you're visiting that hurt child in the hospital from a suicide attempt, or worse his funeral. *Cry* We need to start listening to our children, especially to those statements we don't want to hear and do what is right, as well as teach them ways they can reach out one small step at a time.


*Heartt* My Favorite Part:


It’s a daily ritual
when we’re at his stop.
He slowly walks back toward me
and I find that my eyes drop.


The reason this stanza is one of my favorites is that it's something we have all been guilty of doing sometime during our lives. It seems like such a benign way of dealing with what we perceive to be an uncomfortable situation. When in fact it's adding just as much pain to the one you can't even look in the eyes for fear of having to relate to him.




*Heartg* My Suggestions:
Sorry, but I feel like this piece is perfect as is. I don't have any suggestions for improvement. Excellent writing. *Thumbsup*

*Heartt* Summary:
If this writing helps just ONE person deal with those who are a bit different, then it will actually help many upon many people as the ripple effect takes place. I'm so glad you wrote this piece and would like to see it posted in schools all across the world. *Delight*

Thanks so much for sharing, Ken.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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12
12
Review of Vacuuming  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* *Rolling* I didn't see that coming! Great flash fiction piece. It starts with the suspense right away and is carried throughout the piece. The concern in the daughter's mind is transferred to the reader. As the story was coming to its' end, I wanted to lean in closer to hear this secret which has the mother acting so strangely! As the secret is exposed, I couldn't help but chuckle and mumble a oh no as I read the last line. *Facepalm**Laugh*

Nicely done!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey


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13
13
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Reading* Hey Hooves! It's nice to visit your port and touch base with you. *Heart*

WOW! I reread this poem a few times. It could have come from my own mouth. The passion is strong throughout. I felt a few different emotions -- confusion, hurt, anger, forgiveness or the want to forgive. With each read, I could feel your wheels turning trying to grasp all that's spinning around you. At least, that's what I see in what you say and don't say.

I enjoyed it! *Heart*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

In Love and Light, Tracey


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14
14
Review of The Snowy  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Reading*This is a very pretty poem describing the plight of snow flurries covering the ordinary, making the outside extraordinary for the short time of their crystal-form life. *Smile*

I enjoyed the excitement exclaimed. The emotion came through strongly and added passion to your piece.

*Quill*
The stanza below is my favorite. Strong visual lines, helping me to envision the beauty and sweetness of the surprise snow participation.


Up they piled,
Like crystal candyfloss
Gathered on naked
Branches,
Icing Sugar
Across the cricket field.


Nicely done!

*Penr* KEEP WRITING ON! *Penr*

Tracey


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15
15
Review of Whata CatOnACloud  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awwww... love it, Whata! Didn't know anything about it -- of course, that's not saying a lot *Rolling* I'm glad you were able to get it commissioned. Here's a small donation. *Heart*

I hope life has been treating you well and not driving you too up the wall lately *Rolleyes* *Kiss* Tracey
16
16
Review of Judgements  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading* Hello Sand Castles Shopgirl 739 ! I found your writing in the review mixer! Please remember this is only my opinion. Please use or discard what you like. *GreetR*


*Balloon2*
Title and Description - Excellent title and description. I think both are absolutely perfect for this short little piece. The title is bold and draws the reader in, while the description says it all. Nicely done! *Cool*


*Flower1* Characters - The character is one who has suffered at the hands of verbal abuse. The piece clearly paints the sordid photograph of the absolute damage hurtful and emotional impactful words can have on ones' utmost being. *Sad*

*Balloon4* Setting - The setting is the result of verbal abuse and the very real physical damage it does to the one being abused. *Angry*


*Flower3* What I like about your piece - The imapact of this one stanza could not be any stronger. You do not sugar-coat but show exactly how bad verbal abuse is. It does absolute damage to the soul and tears one down to a figment of what they once were. *Cry*

*Balloon4*
Suggestions - NONE! Perfect just as it is!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Penv* Thanks for sharing your writing with us! *Delight* *Penv*

Tracey




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17
17
Review of The Suitcase  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Hello Christopher Eastman-Nagle ! I found your writing on the random read and review page. *Cool*


*Balloon2*
Title and Description - The title is perfect for this piece and draws the readers attention. The description hints to us know what lies locked away in the suitcase and draws the reader in to read further.

*Flower1*
Characters - The character is mainly the grandfather who we get to know through your narrative. We learn he is a hard man. Stern, somewhat unbending and unorganized,

*Balloon4*
Setting - The setting is mainly the suitcase and what lies within. Even though it is just papers it is also filled with a man's life who was not easy to get along with. Now, the grandson has inherited the suitcase and feels a need to organize it for the sake of family history. Even though he would rather stay away, he feels he has no choice.

*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - The emotion in your piece came across very strong. Nice writing@!

*Balloon4*
Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!

*Penv* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Penv*

Tracey






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18
18
Review of Toressa  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Reading* Hello rl ! I found your item in rewarded reviews!


*Balloon2*
Title and Description - The title and description is simple and does state what the lyrics are about. You may want to consider adding a bit to your description to maybe give an idea of the inspiration behind the words or stating what the lyrics say about Toressa. Just a thought. *Rolleyes* *Smile*


*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - It's a simple piece which shows the love you have for Toressa. The rhythm is over-all nice and slips off the tongue easily,

*Balloon4*
Suggestions - To add some depth, maybe have a stanza or two stating why you love her so much. Or even one about getting through hard times and the love you have for her still standing strong. Also, I think it would be nice with the chorus repeating in the last stanza.


*Peace* Please keep in mind these are only my thoughts. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Delight*


*Penv* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Penv*


Tracey





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19
19
Review of Carry on  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Reading* Hello Jay Van ! I found this piece in read and review *Delight*


*Balloon2*
Title and Description - Your title "Carry On" shows what this short poem is trying to embody. No matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, one must get up, wipe the dirt from their knees and continue on! A lot easier said than done but in the end, it's what we all must do!

Your description, though short, gives the real reason behind writing these strong words. Rather a soldier for military or a soldier for our God or one just trying to deal with life doesn't matter.



*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - Although short, you give encouragement to those reading and at the same time, this reader found like you were also talking to yourself. *Heart*

*Balloon4*
Suggestions - This would be an awesome poem to expand on. You can do a lot with it to make it a truly inspiring piece.


*Peace* Please remember these thoughts are only my own. I appreciate you sharing your piece with me. *Delight*


*Penv* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Penv*


Tracey





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20
20
Review of do you see me?  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Hey David the Dark one! . I'm doing a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum [ASR]. I was browsing through your port and came across this piece. It may be a short poem, but the words give a strong impact! Nicely done! *Cool*

*bookstacks2*
Title and Description - The title is what really grabbed me. I have one named with the same four words: "Do You See Me? [13+]. I wanted to read your piece to see how another poet felt that intimate question. Your description to me is sort of an oxymoron. Because it's not really a simple question which can be answered with a short answer. Do you agree?

*Flower1*
Characters - You really made this reader feel the intense emotion of your words. I wasn't expecting the last three lines of your poem, after reading the first three lines. The pain can be sensed right beneath the surface. *Heart*

*Books2*
Thanks so much for sharing this powerful short poem with us. I really enjoyed it.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

Tracey
** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **




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21
21
Review of Little Elf  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
k*Bookstack2* Hello Lisa Noe Kittyluv um Puppyluv This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum [ASR]n

*Reading* This is a cute little children's poem. One I know would bring a smile to all children who read it, or who it is being read to. *Delight*

*Books1*
Title and Description - The title is short and easy. One which would definitely pull children in to want to read the piece. The cute little image is adorable and fits the title perfectly. It's nice that you let the reader know what drove you to write this poem and that you won the contest! Congratulations *Bigsmile*

*Flower1*
Characters - You do a good job in letting the reader get to know your characters.

*Balloon4*
Setting - The scenes are painted well with your words where the reader can easily visualize each stanza.

*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - The whole cheerful undertone of your writing and one which kids will definitely enjoy.

*Balloon4*
Suggestions - My only suggestion is for the last stanza. It seemed a little less smooth than the other stanzas and it tripped me up a few times. I think you could end the first line at full and find another word to end the next line in a rhyme ... maybe cool? Just a suggestion -- please take it or leave it as you see fit. *Smile*

*Bookstack* Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us!



*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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22
22
Review of Snow White Dove  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Bookstack3* Hello T.L.Finch This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum [ASR]


*Reading* This is truly a beautiful poem. Doves were mine and my husband's meaningful, spiritual and loving mascot during our 35 yrs. Butterflies have a lot of meaning for me also. I truly enjoyed the way you penned this piece, asking the reader to get involved with the words and actually think and meditate on them, not just scan over the words. I wrote a prose piece quite a while back called, Have you ever wondered? which this writing reminded me of. *Smile* There's nothing like seeing pure white doves fly high over-head. It's really an awe-inspiring site!

*Balloon2*
Title and Description - Your title is of course what grabbed my attention. That along with the description lured me right in to read this very nice piece.

*Flower1*
Characters - I absolutely adore and relish in nature and all the creatures within. You chose some magnificent creatures to add to each stanza. There was no forced lines, rhymes or flow. Each line read beautifully and smoothly, along with each stanza following the previous. Nice job!

*Books1*
Setting - You painted the setting with your words. You brought the beauty you were writing about along with the emotion, to allow the reader get absorbed through your piece.

*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - I loved your whole poem and thought you did a nice job with its' completion. But the third stanza really stood out to me in its beauty and creativity:

Does anyone know
where elephants die,
in secret graveyards
as the east winds sigh?



*Balloon4*
Suggestions - I'm sorry but I really do not have any. Enjoyed it immensely, just as it is now. *Delight*

Thank you so much for sharing your piece with us!


*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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23
23
Review of Never Giving Up  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* Hello DepressedGirl ! It's so great to have you here at WDC with us! Please don't hesitate to drop me a line if you have any questions or need any help. Why not take a minute to set your portfolio and bio up. We'd love to get to know you some. *Smile*

I'm so sorry you suffer from depression. But I'm glad you are starting to find your way out. That's not easy to do, but so important! Your piece is from the heart and shows as the reader goes along with you.



*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title and description is what pulled me in. I love that you say 'you are never giving up!' that's fabulous! Then the description pulled me on in. Nice job! *Delight*

*Flower1*
Characters Your character shined through brightly. No matter how hard the fight has been, or how hard it continues to be, you will not give up. You will grasp at any bit of light you can and bring it in to you. Beautiful.

*Balloon4*
Setting - The setting through the whole piece shows the reader your fight, both emotional and physical. It puts the reader right there with you.

*Flower3*
What I like about your piece - I liked it all, but mainly that you will never give up As hard as it may be, you will never quit fighting!

*Balloon4*
I truly enjoyed your piece and like it just as it is. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!~


*Penv* WRITE ON! *Penv*

*Heart* Tracey

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24
24
Review of "Do it for Me"  
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading*WOW! Such powerful, raw emotions. It's sad what you had to go through, but I'm so glad you were able to write it out -- get it out the best way us, writers know how. It's therapeutic. Another way that it's therapeutic is writing it out by hand, and then setting fire to it. Watch it burn and with it all those emotions that took such a huge part of your life.

*Bookstack* My dad use to say the same thing: "Don't get in fights, but if someone starts one, you better finish it! Or I'll be finishing it a home!"


*Books2* What's strange is daddy would beat the heck out of us with a belt, but he never believed hitting in the face. That carried on to me in fighting. I didn't like hitting in the face. Of course. as I got older and on my own at such a young age, I learned to do what I had to just to stay alive. Doesn't mean I liked it though. I was a short, little badass, simply because I knew if I wasn't something bigger and badder would come after me and I was far away from my family and friends.

*Crazy* I like you, was glad when that period of my life was over. But I had learned to survive like that, so some of it hung around and completed me as who I am.

*Peace* I'll always choose peace over fighting/arguing. I'm happy to say during all my trials and errors, I have evolved. *Heart*

Thanks so much for sharing your intimate writing with us. I appreciate YOU, also! *Delight*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by IntueyL&L2P'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, sfttarget ! I am reviewing your piece on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army [ASR]! We welcome you to WDC (writing.com). You have landed on much more than a writing site, but a true writing family! We are all so glad you are here. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to click on my envelope by my handle, 'intuey' it will take you straight to the email forum to write me. Please do so with any questions or help you may need! Clicking on the briefcase next to a handle will take you to that person's port (portfolio) where their writings are held. *Delight*

*Heart* I picked this piece because I am an extreme animal lover -- which stretches to all like (except maybe the huge palmetto flying roaches we have in Florida *Shock**Laugh*) They give me the creeps, can't help it.

*Reading* I remember saving bugs, like beetles, out of puddles of water and even the bathtub. I remember watching them do the same as your bumblebee, stretching and shaking its body the way it knows how. Then finally moving away and carrying on with its' original path. I always remember thinking, "I wonder if he knows a human just saved him. That we're not all bad. Will he tell the story of being saved to his family?" *Thinker*

*Baretree* I love that you shared this with your little girl. A respect and love for all life. My bet is she will remember it forever. It will be a very special, intimate memory, shared between you two, always. *Heart*

It was nice running across your port and this writing. I hope to see you more around WDC. Don't forget to contact me if you have any questions. Also, it would be great if you could take a minute and set up your biography tab! *Bigsmile*

Have a great day! *Penb* WRITE ON!~ *Penb*

*Heart* Tracey
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