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Public Reviews
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226
226
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Fhionnuisce It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Another great flash fiction piece. You're really good at writing these. When I'm finished, I'm always wishing they were longer. *Laugh* This piece could easily be made into a longer fantasy piece if you so wanted to. *Bigsmile* I really enjoyed it. It's amazing how complete the writing is for the length. Great job! If you do so decide to lengthen this writing, please let me know. *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Fantastic title and description. Reading the title got my interest, reading the description made me want to read on.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Wonderful job on the characters. You were able to show the reader the strong personalities of each character.

*Bookstack3* Setting
Great job on the setting. I was able to easily visualize each scene as it unfolded. *Thumbsup*

*Books1* My Thoughts
You're a strong writer and I really enjoy reading your writings. I look forward to returning to your port and reading some of your longer pieces. *Delight*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1.017 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
227
227
Review of Hallow - what?  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Write-fully Loti It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Oh my gosh! That would be horrible if someone did that to a child on Halloween. I wouldn't be very happy as a parent, either. *Laugh* This was a cute story, albeit, a bit disturbing. The children only got one treat on Halloween? That just isn't right. And then the treat turned out to be a horribly cruel trick *Sad* Poor babies! *Laugh* As you see your story did entice emotions, which is always good in a writing, so nicely done! *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Cute title. The description is a bit simplistic. Maybe if you expanded it just a bit, without giving too much away, it may draw in more readers. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your characters are well done. There's a nice repour between them and the reader is able to follow quite easily along with the realistic dialogue.

*Bookstack3* Setting
There wasn't a whole lot of setting to the story. I understand it's a flash fiction piece, so words may be limited, but Halloween is such a festive season, with decorations, sounds and costumes everywhere. You may want to consider incorporating a bit of that into your story. *Smile*

*Books1* My Thoughts
I really enjoyed reading this cute story. It's a fantastic little tale for kids of all ages. *Smile*

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical errors which distracted from your story. Well done! *Thumbsup*

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,353 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
228
228
Review of The Mighty Pencil  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello two of four It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* What a great story! Wouldn't it be nice if we could actually do that? Sad as it is, though, someone would find a way to use it for bad or exploit it. *Smirk* Your story brought me a smile and caused me to 'wonder if?' *Delight* Your story had a wonderful beginning which made me want to read on, the body held my attention and brought me a smile. The ending was well done and completed the story nicely. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
I love the title and description. What better tool is there to use, than a pencil, to save the world? *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Astrid is a wonderful character. The reader automatically warms to her. She has a kind, laid back personality. After all, who couldn't fall in love for the woman who saves the world? *Laugh*

*Bookstack3* Setting
There's not a lot of setting in your story. You may want to consider adding a bit of surroundings, to help bring the story a bit more depth. Just a thought. *Smile*

*Books1* My Thoughts
I thought this was a fun, sweet read. Creative writing which allowed the reader to get to know the main character intimately. Nice job!

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical errors. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,193 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
229
229
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello dejavu_BIG computerprobs It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is a story which definitely pulls at your heart-strings. Mixed emotions flow through the reader. Sadness, disdain and empathy. Strong beginning which made me want to read on. The body of the writing is well written and kept me interested throughout. The ending was a mix of emotions as well and nicely done! *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title. It fits the story nicely. The description is spot-on and is exactly what brings on the mixed emotions. Your story helps see others in a different light, one which may not be used to shine upon them. *Heart*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character is done exceedingly well developed. We get to know him intimately and why he does what he does. We also see that he is not all bad (as your description states). He also has a heart -- but due to his circumstances in life, one that he is not able to express probably as much as he'd like. *Sad*

*Bookstack3* Setting
I would have liked to read more about the seediness of the neighborhood. Show me how bad his surroundings are. That's the only thing I can think of which would knock this writing out of the park.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I really enjoyed reading this story. Your character development was so nicely done, I felt like I knew your character for quite some time. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Your writing was clean. I didn't notice any grammatical errors which took away from your story.

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,461 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
230
230
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello Kotaro It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Definitely a weird tale worthy of the entrance into the weird tales contest. *Wink* I knew those hands were going to play a bit part after reading this paragraph:

The hands dropped down into darkness. Into a rivulet of rain, they splashed. Something scruffy scurried over. As it sniffed at an open palm, the fingers closed and squeezed.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title for the writing. Congratulations on winning the Weird Tales contest. You may want to consider writing a brief description to give the reader a hint of what the story is about. Doing so may bring in more readers. *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters
The main character was definitely a piece of work. You may want to consider adding a bit more about her (perhaps doing so even in her thoughts) that way it will give the reader a more intimate relationship with her. Did she want to kill her husband just out of greed or perhaps it was from revenge?

*Bookstack3* Setting
You did a pretty good job on the settings of the different locations in the story. It helped tie the story together, allowing the reader to visualize each scene as they read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
The story was clean. Nice beginning, middle, and end. It would have been nice to know the reason why she wanted her husband dead (as I stated above) and to perhaps to know the main character just a bit more intimately.

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I didn't notice any grammatical errors which took away from your story.


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,514 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
231
231
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello Kotaro It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* EWWWW! *Rolling* *Shock2* That was pretty disgusting, but funny! I don't know what I was expecting, but that was definitely not even on my radar. When the guy walked up on stage and did what he did, I about fell out. Thank you so much for the laugh. And I must say, I believe that was one of the strangest ways to meet and walk away with a first date in history!

*Bookstack* Title and Description
The title is perfect. As it is indeed, an unlikely meeting *Laugh* The description is also perfect. Great play on words. *Wink*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Wonderful job with your characters. The dialogue was smooth and unforced. I must say, those two definitely belong together. I can't help and feel for any future children they may have. How embarrassing and humiliating that would indeed be for the child! *Facepalm*

*Bookstack3* Setting
I know this was a flash fiction piece, so there wasn't a lot of room to expand on the setting. However, you did a great job. It was just enough to sense the atmosphere and visualize each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
Thank you so much for the laugh. You definitely did a wonderful job of keeping what this meeting actually was, until the blunt entrance. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical issues which took away from your piece. Thanks so much for bringing me a smile and chuckle this afternoon. *Delight*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,340 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
232
232
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello iluvhorses It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Awww. That wasn't how I expected this story to end. *Sad* *Laugh* But it was a nice twist to a well told story. Your writing was crisp and clean. It flowed smoothly from beginning to end. Nicely done. *Smile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
After I read the last sentence, I went back and reread the title and description. Absolutely perfect for your story!

*Bookstack2* Characters
Wonderful job with your characters. You painted a complete picture of your main character and of course, the reader is cheering her on. But alas, it's another girl's fairy tale *Sad*

*Bookstack3* Setting
You wrote the story well and it was easy to visualize each scene as it unfolded. Good job at putting the reader within the story. *Thumbsup*

*Books1* My Thoughts
You wrote your main character so well, I believe you could really expand on this one story and make perhaps a whole folder dedicated to stories of her. After writing quite a few, you may even consider a novel. *Wink*

*Quill* Your beginning was strong, your body of the story kept me interested and eager to read on and your ending caught me quite unsuspecting. *Shock* I didn't notice any grammatical issues which took away from your story. Nice job!

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. *Bigsmile*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,242 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
233
233
Review of Silent Tune  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Kotaro It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Creepy and well told story. I found myself holding my breath and shaking my head. Poor fellow. If only he did not visit the cemetery! Your story had a strong beginning the middle kept me interested and reading on at a quickened pace. The ending was tight and an excellent way to bring your story to completion. Nicely done! *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title. Though not silent to your main character, it definitely was to all those around him. You may want to add a little teaser of your story in the description. It's a good story and I believe a small description will bring in more readers. *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your two main characters are very well done. They have an ease between them. Their speech is smooth and unforced. I was able to gleam their personalities from the dialogue. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack3* Setting
Although there wasn't a lot of information about the setting around the main characters. It really wasn't needed. You provided enough for what the story needed, leaving the focus on what was happening between the two.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I truly enjoyed reading this story. It was creative, well written and a bit different. I felt sympathy for both of the characters. The main character for what he was experiencing and the other because he could not help his friend.

*Quill* There was only one typo that I noticed. Toward the end, you used the word your When it should be you're for you are Other than that, I didn't notice any grammatical issues which took away from your story. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,585 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
234
234
Review of A Day To Remember  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello ♥~HermyKitteh~♥ It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is a really cute children's story (or young adult story). I really enjoyed it and found myself smiling and grimacing throughout. The lesson learned at the end is a valuable one and a fantastic way to end the story! Nicely done! *Smile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
The title is perfect. As it was definitely a day to remember. You may want to elaborate a bit on the description. You have a good story and I think a little tease under the description may pull more readers in. *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters
You did a wonderful job with the characters. It was like being there among them. Your characters came to life and were true to their surroundings and interactions. Well done!

*Bookstack3* Setting
You did an awesome job describing all the surroundings. I could easily visualize each scene as I read. Excellent job also describing the party. *Thumbsup*

*Books1* My Thoughts
I think kids of all ages will enjoy this story. I also like that it had a valuable lesson within. You had a strong beginning, the body kept me interested and I adored the ending!

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical errors.


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1.129 w/o WML)

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
235
235
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello rjsimonson It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Oh, if only there were such bottles for all that ails us *Bigsmile* Wouldn't that be an awesome thing?! (And no, not the bottles with little blue pills inside) *Laugh*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
I thought the title an interesting one, since when we can't see plainly, we call it looking through rose-colored glasses *Bigsmile* It seems I'm always pulled to writings with rose-colored in the title for some reason *Rolleyes* The description is a brief synopsis of the story and is what pulled me in to read further. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
The characters in your story develop a good repour. It was easy to visualize the emotions of both.

*Bookstack3* Setting
The shop sounded interesting. A shop of oddities *Thumbsup* It would have been great to feel a bit more of the eviance of the shop. *Smile*

*Books1* My Thoughts
I would love to have the contents of that bottle sitting on my shelf. She was still happy two years later! WOW! *Delight*

*Quill* I noticed a couple of small typos. These are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Penb* she shut the lid put it back.

she shut the lid and put it back.

*Peno* Are you sure that your OK?”

Are you sure that you're okay?"

*Penbl* She found and china doll

She found a china doll

*Penp* being too precious to waist

being too precious to waste

Thanks so much for sharing your story!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,323 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
236
236
Review of Withdrawal Pains  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Futrboy It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This story was a bit amusing and a bit disturbing. The reason I found it disturbing is because sadly, I wouldn't put it past becoming a reality. We all laughed when a cartoon showed them smuggling in transfat, who knew that shortly after transfat would become illegal to cook with in restaurants. *Geesh* And you're right, if it's healthy then we really don't have to worry about it becoming illegal or sparse. *Pthb*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Your title and description fit the story well. It is perhaps the simplest and most wide-spread addiction of all time!

*Bookstack2* Characters
You did a good job with your characters. The conversation was realistic and kept the addiction hidden until the end. Nice job.

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting is simple and for the story that is all that's needed. *Thumbsup*

*Books1* My Thoughts
As I stated above this is the addiction which is probably the most wide-spread. It's a scary thought of losing it *Laugh* And I wouldn't put it past the Chinese to market it, or the American Government to sell out *Sad* *Shock*

*Quill* I enjoyed your story and didn't notice any grammatical errors which took away from it. Well done!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,174 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
237
237
Review of Sole Survivor  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Cat Voleur It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Balloonv* HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! *Cupcakev*

*Reading* I enjoyed reading this story. The ending took me a bit by surprise. Such deep reflective thoughts for a zombie! *Shock2* You had a great beginning which hooked me and made me want to continue reading. The body kept me interested and moved at a good, smooth pace. The ending was solid and surprising. *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title. I think we humans are attracted to the thought of being the only human being left on earth and terrified of it at the same time! Your description built on the title and is a good brief synopsis of what the story is about. It drew me in and made me want to read on. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character is the only character left alive after an apocalypse. The inner dialogue with your character is well done and lets the reader inside his head to let us know what he's thinking. He's tired and alone and although he's not truly ready to die, he also does not want to continue on. Anything has to be better than where he's at now.

*Bookstack3* Setting
There's not a lot of visuals on the setting. It is more or less, implied. Though, this does not take away from the story.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I think you did a great job with inner-dialogue of your main character. It carried the story along well, bringing us to the somewhat surprising end. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical errors which took away from your story. Well done! *Bigsmile*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,140 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
238
238
Review of Mirror I Swear  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello ♥~HermyKitteh~♥ It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Ewww! What a creepy story! Well done using dialogue only. It works really well for this piece! *Smirk*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good tease on the title. It fits the story well. You may want to hint a bit more at the creepiness which lies within this piece in your description. You may receive more views if you do. It's a well-written piece. I believe many would enjoy reading *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Excellent job with both the human character and the inanimate object! The reader is easily able to establish the warped relationship between the two and the sickness which lies within the human mind.

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting is simple and for this piece that is all that's needed. The focus point remains between the mirror and the human.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I was pleasantly surprised at the underlying eeriness of this piece. It was very well done and felt like we were actually inside the human's head. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* The confusion in the man's mind is written well. It was easy to visualize him standing in front of the mirror having the ongoing conversation. I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes which took away from the story. Nicely done!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,192 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
239
239
Review of The Curse  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello rjsimonson It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Be careful what you wish for, I think would sum up this story pretty well. Poor guy *Shock2* You did a good job with a folklore story. I had to scheme it again to make sure I was reading it right *Laugh*
*Bookstack* Title and Description
The title drew me in. A story about a curse has to be pretty good. *Wink* And the description left a bit of mystery about it, which made me want to read more. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Great job on both of your main characters. Even though your story was short, we were able to get to know both pretty well. She was needing love and protection and he would go to the ends of the earth to protect her. Perfect combination for what she was going through. *Crazy*

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting was simple. The reader wasn't giving a lot of detail surrounding the setting, just the basics. But for this story it was really all that was needed. It didn't distract from the story.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I like the air of mystery you kept throughout the body of the story. The ending was perfect and wrapped up the piece nicely. A bit sad. *Sad* Well done!

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes which distracted me. Well done! *Delight*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,171 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
240
240
Review of Dawn Dream 03  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello David Shaw-Parker It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I enjoyed reading your story. It was a bit different and had an air of mystery. Though, I'm not quite sure where the 'Fantasy' category fits in? *Rolleyes*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
I'm a bit confused with the title. Is this an actual dream you had? Is the 3 because you've had a series of these dreams? You may want to consider changing the title to one that fits in with the body of your story. *Smile* The description is great, fits in with the story and made me want to read on. *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character seems so naive. He seems like a lovable character and the reader almost feels sorry for him. I was almost scared for him. *Facepalm*

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting is okay. As much of it is in the car. You may consider adding a bit of atmosphere around them. A bit of rain, thunder when the drama is picking up, etc... Just a thought for your consideration. I think it would add quite a bit to the story. *Heart*

*Books1* My Thoughts
I believe you have a great idea for a longer story. This could really be fleshed out into quite a thriller/adventure story. You already have your main characters and the plot line well established. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Below are a few suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Penb* This time I meet an old woman at the door

This time, I meet...

*Penbl* John a sharp look, as if he

No comma needed

*Peng* (this'll be the last one

that'll be the last one

*Penp* Instead I'm taken to a great

Instead, I'm taken...

*Penv* a screen-presentation

No dash needed: screen presentation

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,586 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
241
241
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello AJVega It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I'm so glad I found this story! It's right up my alley! I've read the introduction and the first couple of chapters and have marked it as a favorite, so I can come back and finish it. So far, I am really enjoying it! And can't wait to read on to find out what happens *Bigsmile*


*Bookstack* Title and Description

Oh, what can I say? If you knew me, you would know this is like a light beacon for me! *Laugh* Your title definitely pulled me in and your fabulous description set the hook within me. I can not wait to finish reading this piece. I see you also have your book now on Amazon! Congratulations! *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters

Even though I am only beginning chapter three, the characters are already strongly established. The bond between your two main characters is enticing. I am wondering what the separation is going to do to both of them.

*Bookstack3* Setting

I'm enjoying the surroundings. You have brought such a creative twist to your world building. I also love that you took the deer's soul upon her death. I always thought the soul leaves the body before the actual pain and death.

*Books1* My Thoughts

This story has enthralled me already. It's like a book you pick up and don't want to put down. I'm excited to find out what happens to the characters I already know of and new characters which will be introduced. This seems to be a unique story and one well presented. *Smile*

*Quill* I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes. Your story started strong and kept me interested. I look forward to reading on! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,583 w/o WML)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
242
242
Review of Running From Evil  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Pumpkin,
You entered this into my contest, "Out of The Fog Contest - Open March 1st"  [E] a while back. I am putting together a dream book (only now in the gathering phase) and would like your permission to include this. The book will be available for purchase, so it will be outside of WDC. If you do not feel comfortable with it, that's completely understandable. If you don't mind me using it, please put what name you'd like associated with it and your city and state, or only your country, if you're not comfortable giving your city. Thanks so much for your consideration. *Heart*
Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
243
243
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Springtime Review RAID Review!

*Reading* This is a very cute and creative poem, told with the viewpoint of a bug. *Bug*
I'd never thought I'd say a bug sounded 'cute', but the writer manages to portray this characteristic nicely.

*House* Good job putting yourself in the place of the bug for a unique point-of-view! *Thumbsup*

*Grass* The flow of your poem is clean and smooth. I didn't notice any grammatical errors to take away from the flow of your piece. *Cool*

*Bottle2* My favorite lines are the last two in the last stanza:

Now my annoyances have been reduced,
After I was trapped inside this bottle of brandy. *Laugh*

*Tree* WRITE ON! *Tree2*

Tracey
FORUM
Believe: It Can Happen!  (E)
A raffle and auction activity with a twist, to raise funds for a new, "Believe" MB
#2083641 by intuey of House Lannister


Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers


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244
244
Review of Gift Doubling  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hi! This is a review for "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E]

*Reading* I enjoyed your writing and inner-dialogue of wanting to come up with a new tradition for your family {:smile} I also like that you wanted it to be meaningful, a reflection of what Christmas is supposed to truly be about. First off, Jesus Christ. But you took that as to what Jesus is about: love, forgiveness and a connection to others.

The best ideas often come from an invention from necessity. As it did with you. The one thing I really like is how meaningful it can be to not only the one receiving the seemingly simple gift but also how it makes the gifter feel. I know because every year I use to do this myself. I'd pick someone whom I may have had an argument with, or someone who I haven't spoken to in a while ... or whatever reason and I'd send a Christmas card to them (and sometimes hand deliver it) In the card I'd write an apology or something special I remembered about them. The look on their faces or the sentiment in their reply was always appreciative, sometimes mixed with a bit of surprise and confusion. But the feeling within me, no matter a reply or not, was always priceless. My spirit grew a bit each time, the light shone a bit brighter. I haven't done this in the last few years, but reading this now makes me intent on restarting it this Christmas. That's a gift in itself and I thank you for that *Heart* *Angel*

 I have a few suggestions below. Please remember this is only my opinion, please use or discard it as you see fit. *Thumbsup*

*XMasTree* Does it mean more gifts, you ask?

*Ornament1B* } Secondly, this most-precious gift

... most precious

*XMasTree* importance or affluence and that attribute

Comma after affluence

*Ornament1g* 6-ft table and a couple of hard-back chairs

... hardback chairs

*XMasTree* the gift wrapper were willing to take the time

the gift wrapper was willing...

Thanks for sharing your writing with us.

*Quill* WRITE ON! *Quill*

Intuey
FORUM
Believe: It Can Happen!  (E)
A raffle and auction activity with a twist, to raise funds for a new, "Believe" MB
#2083641 by intuey of House Lannister




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* Hello Cynaemon , I am reviewing your story as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E]

I adored this story. It was well thought out and so cute. The story is told by the point-of-view of a Chinese cat. He is happy and content in his alley-street home behind the Chinese restaurant. He truly feels this is his five-star kingdom and in no way can life get any better.

The story continues showing that even though one may be truly pleased with where they're at and not wishing change, that sometimes those unwanted changes can be blessings in disguise.

*BookStack* I do have a few suggestions below. Please remember these are only my opinion, please use or discard them as you see fit. (I know it looks like a lot, but it's mainly comma placement). *Smile*

*Penb* out play, and out last all of them

out-play, and outlast...

*Penbl* After this horror they took us

Comma after horror

*Peng* language of the tourists, like An

No comma needed after tourists *Smile*

*Peno* Fortunately I had no trouble understanding him, as Catonese is a universal language.

Fortunately, .... as Cantonese

*Penp* We were also groomed daily, and

No comma needed after daily

*Penr* The vet looked in on us once a week, and made sure that we were all healthy. And on rare occasions humans

No comma needed after week. Insert a comma after occasions.

*Penv* Well I was not anxious

Well, ...

*Peny* the back of my cage, and

No comma needed after cage

*Penb* Finally the little girl bowed briefly to him, and

Finally, ... No comma needed after him *Wink*

*Penv* poor old Frank, and

No comma needed after Frank

*Peno* New Year in a few days, and

No comma needed after days

*Penr* day of the fifteen day

fifteen-day

*Peng* plum blossoms, and bamboo

No comma needed after blossoms

*Penv* fish-tail soup and rice, and

No comma needed after rice

*Peny* Next I helped Ming write

Comma after next

*Penbl* one which said “Together

one which said:

*Penp* paw print, and hung

No comma needed after print

*Penb* with a dollar, and

No comma after dollar

*Peno* day of the celebration the family

Comma needed after celebration

Thank you so much for sharing this uplifting story with me. It made me smile. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* WRITE ON! *Bookstack3*

Intuey
FORUM
Believe: It Can Happen!  (E)
A raffle and auction activity with a twist, to raise funds for a new, "Believe" MB
#2083641 by intuey of House Lannister


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
246
246
Review of A Do-Over in Life  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading*Oh! I absolutely loved this! Such wise words. I could have written it myself. *Laugh*

I couldn't agree more with every single thing you said. It's hard to pick my favorite stanza, I should say the part about how to treat people, how to invest in your children -- because those words are the most important. They're the most important act we can instill toward others to make the world a bit better. Make our light shine a bit brighter. But in order to do so, we have to be happy within ourselves. That's why I'm picking the below as my favorite lines. Also, my soul mourns that I haven't done more of this and my spirit yearns to keep exploring ... adventuring *Heart*

“I’d spend more time at the beach,
hike more mountain paths,
ride horses along wilderness trails,
go white-water rafting on angry rivers,
go camping in the desert southwest.
In short, I’d avail myself throughout my life
of Nature’s grandeur in its many varied forms.
I’d travel at every opportunity presented.
The world is wide, gorgeous, amazing,
and well worth making the time
to experience it as much as you can.

And the ending is priceless! Nicely done!

*Cupcakep*HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!*Cupcakep*

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Intuey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of I HAD A FRIEND  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading* This poem drew me in with the title and description. It most certainly did not disappoint.

Your words are powerful and pull on the heartstrings of the reader. You portray pride in the soldier well, along with the fear that every war brings.

The anxiety, sadness and anger also seep throughout your words. Ties which cannot be broken, no matter how badly you'd like to sever them. And your friend so needlessly lost *Cry*

I usually like to give a favorite stanza, or lines. But I'm unable to do so here. If I did, I would just be recopying and pasting the entire poem.

Truly beautiful, Monty. *Heart* *Salute*

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

*Hug* Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Here you go, sweetie! Hope it helps a bit *Bigsmile* *Heart*
Tracey
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Review of Do Something!  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Hey, I found your writing through the Spiritual Newsletter. *Bigsmile*.

I truly enjoyed reading your piece. It's so true. Many of us do sit and wait for the things we want to happen in our life, just to magically appear. (And yes, I've been guilty of this myself). We don't seem to realize how silly our actions are at the time. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just sit back and have it come to us? But things just don't happen that way. Your piece reminds us that if we want change in our lives, we have to help make that change happen.

I also like the advice you give to members of WDC (new and old, alike). It helps to remind us if we want ratings/reviews, we need to take the action to bring others to our port. It's amazing what a little interaction will do. (Both online and off).

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it. *Smile*

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
FORUM
Ticket to Hope  (E)
Closed! Thanks so much for a highly successful raffle~ Congrats winners :)
#2076609 by intuey of House Lannister


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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250
Review of Soldier's Song  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*This must have been under sponsored links, because I clicked on it by (a happy) accident!

Your poem speaks volumes for not only those at war against other countries, but it can also be implied while one is at war with anything in their lives.

The passion of your words shine through. The poem has a nice rhythm and reads smoothly. *Delight*

*Egg1* I do have a couple of small suggestions below. Please remember these are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Thumbsup*

*Egg2* Your rhymes seem to flow smoothly and easily. Not sounding force. Which is not always easy, especially using AABB rhyming scheme. There is only two lines, which you may consider making small adjustments:

*Egg3* Though sadness fill my head and toe.

This was the only line where I found the rhyme to sound forced. But you can make a small change, which I believe helps it flow better, not sounding forced at all:

Though sadness flows from head to toe.

That will also keep your line at 8 beats. *Smile*

*Egg4* For all those lost which I held dear.

Since the whole poem is in present tense, I'd just change the line to:

For all those lost who I hold dear.

You may also want to change 'which' to 'who' since you're speaking of people, not objects. *Smile*

I hope the couple of small suggestions helped some. *Bigsmile* I'm so glad I stumbled across this. It's well written and thought out piece. I thoroughly enjoyed it. *Heart*

Thanks so much for sharing. *Salute*

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
FORUM
Ticket to Hope  (E)
Closed! Thanks so much for a highly successful raffle~ Congrats winners :)
#2076609 by intuey of House Lannister



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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