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76
76
Review of Trouble Me  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Ophelia Mae Hancock Happy WDC 23ed Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* Wow. Passionate and deep. I enjoyed it. Reread a few times, and each time, I still stopped and reflected on some of your lines. Nicely done!

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Great title. It caught my attention and drew me in. Your description made me want to read on!

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- How close can two people truly get/be. Reading these words shows you that this author wants to become one with her one-and-only.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- Very original and creative. You truly have some great lines and stanzas.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - You left me with envying the love you have for your other half. I remember the feeling. It's intoxicating. It left a peaceful and reflective emotional impact on this reader. *Smile*

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I only have a few very minor suggestions. Please use them or discard them as you see fit.

*Books2* circutious

circuitous

*Penb* figure eight

figure-eight

*Reading* maypole

Capitalize Maypole

*Bookstack* meandor

meander

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -

Tickle me with your brush of crimson
Soothe me with your blessing of violet
Highlight me with a touch of sterling
Then growl and bring it all to life

So beautiful! Great choice of words. *Heart*

*Peng*Summary: I really enjoyed reading this writing. I look forward to reading it again in the near future. (That's a HUGE compliment). I know it'll touch me just the same the next time around. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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77
77
Review of Tomorrow  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Mindertwenty Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* An inspiring, short poem about realizing we have the power to take control of our destiny. At least in the direction we want it to go.

*Balloon2* Title and Description -

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- Great title. It drew me in, curious about the writing. The description made me want to read on.

*Flower1* Characters - The main character is the author. It shows the positive outlook he has on life. *Heart*

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The piece left me inspired. Such a nice, positive emotional impact.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I only have a few minor suggestions. I hope they help. *Smile*

*Reading* Tomorrow is so far away,
But that seems like yesterday.

No comma is needed after away.

*Penp* The hours blur in what seems a minute,
I need to slow time down.

Try reading this suggestion out loud, and see if you think it helps the flow:

The hours blur into what seems a minute.
I need to slow down time.

*Bookstack2* Until today I felt I could reach for the stars,
But I’d surely have one by now.

No comma is needed after stars.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -Until today I felt I could reach for the stars,
But I’d surely have one by now.

I especially love the part: But I'd surely have one by now.
Such a romantic notion.

I also really enjoyed the ending:


It’s time to take the initiative,
To take the reins myself,
The future is mine for the taking.

Very nice! *Delight*

*Peng*Summary:I truly enjoyed your writing. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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78
78
Review of Such As It Is  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jade Jaspers Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* A nice piece of prose that had me thinking and reflecting. You really painted some beautiful scenes. *Smile*

Consider breaking up your paragraphs. Put a space or two between the paragraphs every time you start with, "And then there is this".

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Good title that caught my attention. The description made me curious enough to want to read on.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- A person alone with his thoughts. Where they go and how it affects him/her.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- Very creative form of writing down the thoughts of your mind.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - It left me with thoughts of how beautiful it can be when you train your mind to go to beautiful places.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions -

*Reading* where all the natural things

where all of the natural things

*Bookstack* in sounds

in the sounds

*Penp* all of the memories

*Books5* vision in the night

*Reading* find a word to define these moments that where I have a few thoughts and the time.

*Penr* life line

lifeline

*Books3* its natural want from the page where it longs to put into

it's natural to want... longs to be put into


*Peng*Summary: Thank you for sharing your inspirational prose with us. I truly enjoyed it!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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79
79
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Happy to write Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* An inspiring read about meeting and conversing with a traveling preacher man.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Your title made me curious about your writing. Your description urged me to read on!
I would put a comma after the first 'man'. I would also capitalize the first letter od each word in the title.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- It's about a person meeting up with a traveling preacher. The preacher graciously answers the person's questions. A quite inspirational piece.

I would consider changing the Category Educational to Inspirational. As it is an inspirational writing. *Smile*

*Flower1* Characters -Two great characters that we get to know through their conversation in this nicely written prose.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- I love the originality and creativity of getting the message across per a conversation. It kind of reminded me of John Cahn. If you haven't read him, check him out. I think you'll like his books.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - It really left an inspiring impression on me.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions -

*Reading* King however I have laid

King, however, I have laid

*Bookstack2* song of the redemption

*Penb* that you live abundantly

for you to live abundantly

*Peng*Summary: I truly enjoyed your prose. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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80
80
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Peremos Happy 23rd WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* Wow. Excellent speech. You show how war affects the heart of men, and at the same time also show how we can gain our strength after war.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Fantastic title that caught my attention. The description made me want to read on!

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- It's about war, and how war affects those fighting. To remember those who died fighting, and realize we can still stand strong and proud after the fight.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- The writing is done very well. I love the originality and creativity of showing a lot of sides of war. The sorrow of killing others, the sorrow of those who died, how you can still stand after the war, like a lone flower surviving on the battlefield, and perhaps sad, but true of the benefits a war can have afterward.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - Strong emotional impact that really made me think of those having to fight, and of war in general.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - You did a great job. I only have a few small suggestions:

*Bookstack3* your struggle

and your struggle

*Penr* not without purpose

is not without purpose

*Books1* the battles you fight

and the battles you fight

*Peng* they shape the future.

*Peng*Summary: A fabulous piece of prose! It's very impactful and leaves the reader thinking about it for a while after they have read it. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! *Smile*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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81
81
Review of Bottles  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello AJblurryface Happy 23rd WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* Quite a deep, poignant poem. I like your analogies.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title is straight to the point, and fits the writing well. The description drew me in and made me want to read on.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- The comparison of how life can make one feel like an empty, discarded water bottle. That even a water bottle deserves to be recycled and made into something useful-- how much more should a human feel fulfilled?

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- I really like the creativity and originality of this piece. Nicely done! *Smile*

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - It left this reader with a strong emotional impact. I reread it a couple of times. It left me agreeing but also feeling for the author.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I see you have emotional for your genre. That's good. It is an emotional piece. But you should fill out your other two genres as well. Maybe: Personal, Experience, or Drama. The more you have filled out the more people will find your writing. Some people only search for certain genres.

I would split your stanzas up. I think that would help the piece read more smoothly, but also with even more impact.

*Penp* Sometimes life is as empty

Try: Sometimes life feels empty...

The only other suggestion is you need a comma after the word, 'Oh,' in:
Oh how beautiful.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -

The ocean,
Oh how beautiful.
When the sun shines off the surface,
Happiness.
Yet the sun doesn't shine forever,
even on the ocean.

Nice! I love that! *Delight*

*Peng*Summary: Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I truly enjoyed it!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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82
82
Review of Impossible  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Monalisa Vandercox Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* I enjoyed reading your poem. I know the feeling all too well. I hope happiness has found you again, if not, hopefully, it will soon. *Smile*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Good title. It pulled me in to want to read further. The description is also good and urged me to read on.

I wonder though: Isn't depression a form of being stuck in the past? When we're healthy in mind, we don't really want to move backward. Just my thoughts. *Smile*

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- About a woman who once lived each day happy but is now finding it hard to find joy in life. To find any meaning.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- You did a good job showing the juxtaposing sides of life and our emotions.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The emotional impact was strong and left me feeling sad for the writer. Hoping that if she hasn't already that soon happiness and smiles will find her once again.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - Please know these are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Bookstack2* My heart is broken
All my scars are open
All I had is gone now
Impossible to go back to to before

I think your poem is good but may read smoother with just changing a few words around.

My heart has been broken
My scars have busted open.
All I had is now gone,
It's impossible to go back.

*Penv* Love filled my soul
All things seemed possible then

*Bookstack3* Now I have broken trust
Empty promises
I don't feel my worth
All I see is hidden now

Now my trust is broken

What I see is now hidden.

*Peng* I am feeling everything at once

I feel everything at once.

*Peng*Summary: I truly enjoyed reading your piece. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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83
83
Review of Dogs at the Mall  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ridinghood Happy 23rd WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* This is a cute poem that had me smiling throughout!

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Fabulous title that drew me in, and the description made me want to read on. *Smile*

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- I'm a dog lover, and since the poem is about my favorite furbaby, I had to read to see what happens. It's talking about all the purebreds the pet shop at the mall sells. And how they end up just going to the shelter and picking out a few fabulous mix breeds!

*Flower1* Characters - Are well written. It shows the tight-knit relationship between the two, and how their love of dogs binds them.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- A wonderful creative spin on picking out a new furbaby pet.

*Balloon4* Setting - Is done well by showing how the mall puts emphasis on only purebreds.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The poem made me smile and touched my heart. *Heart*

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I only found one typo:

*Penp* Grams and I just laughed out load

Grams and I just laughed out loud

*Books2* down at the pound,

No comma needed after pound

*Penw* The salesclerk

The sales clerk

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -

We ended our day down at the pound,
and adopted two mutts and a plain old hound. *Bigsmile*

*Peng*Summary: I really enjoyed this little poem. Thank you for sharing your writing with us, and thank you for the smile.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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84
84
Review of Shaky Marriage  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Candie101 Happy Anniversary! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* I enjoyed your story about a couple who sadly just couldn't get along. I know you called it a comedy, but I found it more sad. You might think about replacing the comedy category with 'Relationship'. But maybe it's just me. *Wink* Even though I didn't find it funny, I still thought the story was engaging.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Great title that caught my attention and drew me in. Consider tweaking your description to something like, "A Married Couple's Squabble".

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter - It's about a wife who was fed up with her husband's lack of devotion to their relationship. So in her anger, she tries to get back at him, through not-so-smart actions.

*Flower1* Characters - We don't really get to know the husband too much, but the wife has gotten past the point of no return.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- An original writing that leads to an unexpected end.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - Even though this is supposed to be a comedy, I didn't get that impact at all. It was more of an anger and sadness issue to me. *Rolleyes*

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - Below is a few of my suggestions. Please do not get discouraged. If you edit the item and would like me to re-review it, please let me know.

*Reading*I think the story would read easier if you broke up the paragraphs. It's a small thing that can really make a difference. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* I found it kind of odd that she would just drive away from her house while it was on fire. Even if she were angry.

*Books4* If he doesn't do anything quick,

If he doesn't do anything quickly,

*Books3* Claire was caught in the mist of her thoughts,

Claire was caught in the midst...

*Penb* She new it was New Year's Day

She knew...

*Bookstack* wondering off to God knows

wandering off...

*Peng* John, and he slammed

*Books2* just great." Claire said

Replace the period with a comma.

*Penp* How dare him walk out on her. "I know just what to do." she said

How dare he walk out on her. "I know just what to do, she said

*Bookstack2* gleefully ontop their roof

on top of their roof

*Penw* supplies and ran back outside and exhaustedly threw them ontop the roof.

...threw them on top of the roof.

*Books1* grusomely

gruesomely

*Peno* hystaria

hysteria

*Peng*Summary: I think you did an amazing job writing as people talk. With a little editing, this story will be made even better! I look forward to rereading it. *Smile* Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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85
85
Review of the lost dog  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello maiah This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* This is a cute story. It has a lot of potential. I think it would be well worth taking the time to flesh out/expand your story.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - You have a strong title that caught my attention and made me want to read on. I did get the understanding of your story in the description, but the mistakes need to be fixed.

 tjhis is a story of hw a girl takes her dog to the park and the dog gose missing

Try something similar to: Bella's dog goes missing at the park.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- A story about a girl who loses her dog and almost loses all hope.

*Flower1* Characters - You get the message across nicely of how much of an emotional connection she has with her furbabies.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- Nice story with an original spin.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I believe this story would work best as one short story, instead of breaking it down into one paragraph chapters. The story, while good, needs a lot of correcting. Please don't feel overwhelmed. Maybe consider downloading Grammarly, or something similar to help you learn how to construct a writing better. *Smile*

*Reading* she through Lilly’s ball and it landed in a bush

she threw Lilly's ball and it landed in a bush.

*Books1* Lilly went to get it but did not come back so Bella waited for a couple of minutes then when Lilly did not come back, she went to go look for Lilly, after an hour she could not find her so she kept looking for Lilly by the time it was dark she had not found her so she had to go home and sleep so, she could look for Lilly the next day.

Lilly went to get the ball but after a few minutes, she still had not returned. Bella looked for Lilly for over an hour and still could not find her. When night fell, she begrudgingly went home, determined to start first thing in the morning.

*Reading* Capitalize all of your names, and spell out all of your numbers.*Smile*

*Bookstack* Bella became sad and cold to every one she locked her self up in her room and cried for weeks and weeks 5 years later Bella has completely given up hope she is sad but little did she know she would find out something that would change her life forever.

Bella became sad and cold to everyone. She locked herself in her room and cried for weeks.

It's been five years, and Bella still finds it hard to have hope. But soon, she would find out something that would change her life forever!

*Books4* When she woke up she told sally the news 9 months later Kelly was born it hurt like hell as you could probably tell Bella was very Sleep deprived Bella “ hello my sweet daughter and who is this dog”

When she awoke she told Sally the news. Nine months later, Kelly was born to a sleep-deprived Bella.

"Hello, my sweet daughter. Who is this pretty dog?"

I'm kind of confused about the ending. Try adding a paragraph or so to help the reader understand it better. *Smile*


*Peng*Summary: Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. If you decide to edit your writing, please let me know. I'd love to come back and adjust my rating/review for the edited version. *Heart*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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86
86
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading*Wow! My heart literally broke for you. It's bad enough to round ya'll up like a bunch of cattle, and send you home. But to actually keep you all locked up in a jail setting is ridiculous and shameful. Especially when you have been a good citizen, made something of yourself, and been here for so long. *Sad*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Perfect title that drew me in, and the description definitely made me want to read on.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- The injustice that was done to many of the immigrants living legally in the U.S when the law abruptly changed.

*Flower1* Characters - A nonfiction look at one person's experience. How it affected them, and others they met along the way. And the act of changing the way they thought of the future, in order to bring hope back into their life.

*Balloon4* Setting - You did an excellent job helping the reader visualize the scenery all throughout the experience.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - It left a strong impact on me. I felt sad and ashamed that my country handled immigrants who had made a life here for so many years, treated so cruelly.


*Peng*Summary: I remember when you had to leave the U.S. Well, I remember when you wrote that you were back in Nigeria. I had no idea you went through all of this. *Hug1**Smile**Hug2* I hope life has been good to you, and that you have found new happiness, hope, and a bright future. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing this very emotional time in your life with us. *Bird*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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87
87
Review of The Voice Of God  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY Quihadi , FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



*Reading* Wow! Nice poem. Congratulations on 2nd place. It greatly deserves the honor. Beautiful writing. *Heart*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title is perfect and definitely drew my attention. I wanted to read about 'The Voice of God'. I'd change the description to include a line or two from your writing. I think it would help draw in more people to read your poem. You can always add the poetry contest at the bottom of the piece.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- It's about God's children being able to hear His voice. It's not a voice screaming down from the heavens. It's a small, still voice, that whispers to your soul.

*Flower1* Characters - The person accepting God is showing how doubt can arise even when at the altar. But hold on, and don't give up. The reward is priceless!

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- A creative look at showing how beautiful a life with Jesus can be. *Heart*

*Balloon4* Setting - A perfect setting that allowed me to visualize and take to heart and soul each line of your piece.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - Being a Christian, it made a strong impact on me. As I know the feeling of being blessed with a relationship and being able to discern His voice.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -


The sound of His voice

It's the voice that set me free.

Because it's a freedom that surpasses all others. *Heart*


*Peng*Summary: I greatly enjoyed your piece. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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88
88
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY Massive Friendly Derg FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Reading* A Cute poem that made me chuckle. *Delight*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Your title is perfect for this great play on words and drew my attention. Though, for your description, I think it sales your poem short. I'd change it to include what readers can expect. Something similar to 'A Comedic Look at a Drag-on's Dog Days of Summer. It may help draw more people in to read your piece.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:-Great subject matter for the play on words writing.

*Flower1* Characters - Nicely written. The reader easily gets to know the personality of the dragon they're reading about. *Cool*

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- Very original and creative, funny piece.

*Balloon4* Setting - Perfect setting for the writing. I was able to easily visualize each scene.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -The last three lines. Nice!

*Peng*Summary: Thank you for the smile and chuckle. I enjoyed reading your poem.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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89
89
Review of Silent Witness  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY Humming Bird FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Reading*Great personification of a mirror watching a little girl grow up! Definitely worthy of its ribbon. *Delight*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Perfect title and description of this story. They drew me in to want to read on.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:-Subject matter that one hopes to never have to deal with, but in some shape or form, we usually do. This is an interesting take on the lonely life of a teenage girl whose parents keep all too isolated supposedly for her own good. What they don't seem to realize, is it's slowly killing her. Draining away her will to live. *Sad*

*Flower1* Characters -Great job in such a few words of showing us not only who the teenager is now, but the lively and happy child she was while growing up.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:-Very creative. You did an excellent job.

*Balloon4* Setting -Perfect setting for personification story of watching a little girl grow.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The story touches at the readers heartstrings. You want to be able to yell and shake the parents to the point that they'll actually open their eyes, and see what they're doing to their teenage girl.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: -The whole story is well done, but my favorite part has to be the opening paragraph. It's such a creative, strong, pull and keep you reading paragraph! Nicely done! *Heart*


*Peng*Summary:I truly enjoyed reading your story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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90
90
Review of Summer and Fall  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Val This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum"  [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* This poem shows the difference of the thoughts of the happy soul versus that of the sad one.

*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title caught my attention and made me want to read on. The description described what the character of the poem was about.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- An original depiction of nature being used as metaphors for emotions.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - I think many of us can relate to the meaning of this poem.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I do have a few suggestions:

Sadness is seeing

a heart's tiny string under a huge waterfall sheet(,)

Sadness is seeing

a man falling for an object

Sadness is the loss of an noble friend

Try reading your poem with the suggestion of removing the repetitive 'sadness is' words. To me, it gives a much
stronger pull on the emotions. *Heart*


reminiscence is happiness(:)

For example,

Happiness

is the Infinite kisses from yonder


Happiness is the ghost of your eyes in the boughs of the trees

Removing the excess 'Happiness is' for the same reason I mentioned for removing the 'sadness is'. Try reading it without,
and see how you feel about it.

My dear one,

Here,

winter depicts the tranquility of pine trees(.) more than any other season.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: - The last stanza is my favorite. However, I do think it leaves a stronger impression with 'more than any other season' removed. *Smile*


*Peng*Summary: I enjoyed reading your poem. It made me think and reflect a bit. Thank you for sharing!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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91
91
Review of Ladybug Beach  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Itchybarn

*Reading* This is such a great poem. You're a good poet! *Delight* I love ladybugs also. One time I moved into a house that was in the country. One of the second-story bedrooms had at least fifty ladybugs climbing on the inside of the window, trying to get out. I opened the window (I could only open it a little, without hurting them. I must have spent an hour or more getting them all out into the fresh air, It made me feel good. (Them too, I'm sure *Bigsmile*).

*Balloon2* Title and Description - I love the title. It definitely drew me in. Then when I read you were five when you first wrote it. Impressive. I'm sure you've edited it a few times since because it's really good and fun to read.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- The writer shows his love for ladybugs, and tells of his encounter with a lot of them on the beach.

*Flower1* Characters - The reader is able to sense the kindness of the writer. *Delight*

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The poem made me smile. It was a fun read that left me feeling happy. Nice job!! *Ha*

*Peng*Summary: I enjoyed reading your piece. Thanks so much for sharing. I hope to read more poetry from you soon.

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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92
92
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello dragonline (dragon online) *CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP**Smile*


*Reading* Nice short story. It had a strong beginning that grabbed my attention and kept me reading. The ending was a nice twist I didn't see coming. *Smirk*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - Great title. Neighbors can be a curse or a blessing. Having both in my time made me want to read your story. I would use the description to pull more readers in. Write a brief excerpt about what they can expect when they read the story. *Smile*

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- A wife whose husband has gotten on her last nerve, always worrying about what the neighbors will think. A husband who hinges everything on what others think.

*Flower1* Characters - In just a few words, you were able to bring across the personalities of both the wife and husband. Not an easy feat. Good job!

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- I enjoyed the way the story is written. The ending helped to elevate the whole story.

*Balloon4* Setting - The setting is well done. The emphasis is mainly on how the neighbors perceive the couple.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - Your words made me visualize the uptightness and egotistical characters of the husband. I didn't care for him. Even though what the wife was doing was wrong, you wanted to see her rid herself of him. Maybe just not in the way the story had us believe.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - I'd flesh out the part where the wife knelt down in the dirt at the end. Was that her whole plan? Or was it a ruse? And he just beat her to it?

*Penv*My Favorite Part: - The ending. Great twist.

*Peng*Summary: I truly enjoyed this short, short. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. *Smile*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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93
93
Review of The End  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Horror Scribe *CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP**Smile*


*Reading* It's amazing how much of a full story one can achieve in a flash fiction piece. You did a great job. *Smile*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title drew my attention and the description pulled me in. We all have things we wished we would have done or done differently while looking back. Or in this case, looking forward to a future not allowed to be.

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- It's the end of the world. And it's brought on by the careless actions of those now facing the consequences. Now, facing death, they realize life wasn't so bad after all. As a matter of fact, it was pretty good. Ah, hindsight.

*Flower1* Characters - The main character telling the story is portrayed nicely. His emotions, sadness and regrets are quite prevalent.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- A good creative ending and point of view, in a familiar story line.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The emotions come across strongly and nicely.

*Balloon4* My Suggestions - Good job in a flash fiction story. It would flesh out nicely for a longer story also.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: - The ending. It's poignant and leaves the reader thinking.


*Peng*Summary: I enjoyed it. Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. *Delight*

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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94
94
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 *CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP* *Smile*


*Reading* This was a good and quick read. For such a short story it had a strong beginning, kept me interested, and had a surprising end! *Shock2* *Laugh*

*Balloon2* Title and Description - The title grabbed my attention, and the description drew me in. Who doesn't like reading about dysfunctional families?

*Penr* Theme/Subject Matter:- I kind of figured out what the subject matter was before I began to read. But the way it was written was refreshing.

*Flower1* Characters - The little boy is the one who narrates the story. The reader can easily feel how confused and sad he is. He doesn't quite understand his position. And his parents do not try to explain it to him. Instead, they insist he's bad and hit him.

*Penb*Originality/Creativity:- The viewpoint of this story is definitely original, different, and creative. Nicely done.

*Balloon4* Setting - The setting is a small area, and the story is mainly focused on the window. The only escape from the noise happening from upstairs.

*Flower3*Emotion/Impact: - The reader can't help but feel for the little boy. Even despite things. Especially the last sentence.

*Penv*My Favorite Part: - I think the ending, even though it's a bit disturbing, makes the story.


*Peng*Summary: Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it. Happy Anniversary!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Tracey

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95
95
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Awww ... poor kitty. *Laugh* I have to be honest, I didn't know if I should root for or against Grandma. *Shock*

You did a wonderful job with imagery. It seemed like I was standing right there among them, watching each scene unfold.

You brought my memory back to a time when country grandmas were women you sure didn't mess with! *Rolling*

I felt for the almost all-white cat. I wanted to tell it it's time to get before that shoe peg tobacco makes it feel the licks of hell itself! The boy couldn't have cared less. He was all for showing the cats whose boss.

Thank you for the smiles and nostalgia. I enjoyed stopping at your port. Here's to many more Happy Anniversaries to come!

Write On! *Heart*
Intuey
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96
96
Review of Trading Places  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Happy Anniversary! I enjoyed reading your story. My granddaughter would really enjoy it. *Smile*

I hope this review finds you well and filled with creativity.

What an adorable children's story. It's one easily relatable to past history, or even a valuable lesson on how to treat others right here at home.

You did a wonderful job with the imagery and enabled the reader to be right there with the white rabbit. The relationship formed, first by empathy toward the rabbit, and by the boy, is nicely portrayed and sets the scene to come.

It's a simple lesson: We all need to take care of one another. Don't be greedy and keep those that were here before and after us in our mind.

Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.

Write On! *Heart*
Intuey
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97
97
Review of 1 Easy Prey  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hi! Welcome to WDC (writing.com). If I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to contact me. *Smile*

I enjoyed reading the first chapter of your book. Your writing has a lot of potential. I look forward to reading more.

I would have liked more imagery of their surroundings. I think it would help make the story more personable. *Smile*

Here's a few typos I found:

*Reading* he could see but their hens

*Reading* Oribio reaction wasn't that what you'd expect

Oribio's reaction wasn't what you'd expect

*Reading* set on grabbing his opponent feet.

opponent's feet

*Reading* Above all he dreamed to become another Alzid,

Above all, he dreamt of becoming another Alzid,

*Reading* approach was of considered them to be

approach was considering them to be

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I look forward to future visits to your port. *Cool*

Write On!

Intuey
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98
98
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hi Olivia. Welcome to WDC (writing.com). If I can be of help in any way, please don't hesitate to contact me. *Heart*

I enjoyed your poem about new love. Hoping and feeling it's a love that will surpass just a summer infatuation.

I like the analogies you used with your feelings and the beach. Being born and raised a Florida girl, it was definitely relatable. *Delight*

*Reading* My favorite lines:

like Polaroids hung on string with wooden pegs

the Polaroids slip from the pegs
will you catch them

A good and strong ending.

I look forward to you sharing more of your writing with us. *Bigsmile*

Thanks so much!

Write On!
*Heart* Intuey
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99
99
Review of In the Beginning  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I hope this review finds you doing well and filled with creativity! *Delight*

This is a good story of a father telling his child a scary story.

The main character of the story is a girl fathered by darkness. Even though she had the capacity to love, her capacity for hate was even stronger. She's the main character, though I felt I got to know the mother better.

The main character also had a brother. The brother's trauma of his sister's darkness is clearly noticeable. I believe he could have brought an even deeper meaning to the story.

The setting takes place in the caves and the woods. The story lets us know this took place many eons ago. I won't spoil the story, but it shows that darkness is as prevalent as good in this world.

I enjoyed the story and feel it could be made into a second story showing the good side, coming to protect the human population from her evil and hate. It could also be made into a book. I trust that's how much potential the story has. *Bigsmile*

Thanks so much for sharing your work with us. I look forward to visiting your port again!

Write On!
*Heart* Tracey
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100
100
Review of The Solemn Vow  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hi April, thank you for allowing me to review your poem.

Wow! Nicely done. You pulled off the form nicely. An iambic tetrameter can be a bit tricky. I can see why it won The Dark Dreamscapes Poetry Contest! *Cool*

This was indeed a period of dark, dark times. The Bubonic plague was so bad that they thought no one would survive.

I like these lines below:

The Plague of 1656 --
an agent of the River Styx --
ensured the weary bodies’ rot;
hence curers’ skills were all for naught.
Yet frightly masks adorned their heads
while treating patients in their bed;

It sums up the plague nicely, and even the horror of the doctor's bird mask. The doctors thought the extended nose would keep the germs away.

*Reading* Yet frightly masks adorned their heads

 Maybe consider changing frightly to frightful I don't believe frightly is a word.

*Reading* It were a tranquil, soothing night

This is an excellent opening line. It betrays the terror yet to come.

I do think were should be was *Smile*

Her solemn service underway
stops when the platform starts to sway
and rumbling whispers turn to shrieks
as pools of blood the casket leaks


Nicely written. Truly creepy!

I definitely look forward to reading more of your work.

I hope you have many more happy years on WDC!

*Heart* intuey
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