 Hello 💙 Carly! I'm reviewing your piece for "I Write in 2020"  [E]
I was going to check out the workshop to see if there was a certain assignment for your piece, but both links are to your writing? So that was a little confusing.  But on to your piece!
 Are you writing this for a novel? If you are, good for you!  You look like you have an excellent storyline your working out. I wish you a lot of luck with it!
 Title and Description -Your title for this section of your piece fits perfectly. That's exactly what both of your characters decided to do. Young love is so fresh. Everything is still fairly new to young adults.  Your description does an excellent job describing the dilemma your characters will be facing. Nice job.
 Characters - Both of your characters are starting to become established and known to the reader. I do wish I had a bit more information about how far into the story this piece is. I feel like it's at the beginning stages. If this was a short story, I'd want to get to know the characters a bit more. But since this is part of a larger work, then I know we'll get to know them in stages.  I feel like we start to genuinely feel the passion and emotion coming from both of them as the story gets rolling, It picks up the pace quite nicely about halfway through and carries it on toward the end.
 Setting - I don't really remember a lot about the setting. So it didn't stick in my mind. You may wish to work on their surroundings a bit more; Make it more tangible to the reader. You did a great job on the scene where he is walking through her house and noticing the things she had around her, that helped him get a feel for her emotional attachment. 
 What I like about your piece - I enjoyed the connection between the two. I think you're doing a fabulous job starting the emotions off slowly and with caution, then watching them both falling for each other at almost the same speed. The passion builds at a nice pace, and I smiled when they finally kissed. 
I do have suspicions about that other girl, though. Something just doesn't seem right about all of that. And why wouldn't he want to tell her about them right off? Hmmm...  
Suggestions - I do have a few suggestions. Most of these are just typos are minor edits. Please use or discard them as you see fit. This is only my opinion.
 closed herself off and tried to focus on re-formating her career.
Comma between 'off' and 'and' (herself off, and) reformatting - no hyphen
 she could see him in her minds eye. The two of them sitting out on the deck chairs, sipping coffee and watching the sun set.
in her mind's eye. coffee, and sunset
 Desire rose leaving her feeling
Desire rose to leave her feeling
 fill the suitcase, gave
Comma not needed
 The bed itself, was made,
Commas not needed
 Still he had been aroused just the same. Giving her advise and
Still, he had... Giving her advice
 After lunch she continued on.
After lunch, she continued. (Remove the word 'on' to prevent a tautology.}
Arden Falls cutoff, when she
Comma not needed (Is cutoff supposed to be two words?)
She was temped to jump out
She was tempted...
expect and complied. He held the door for her and closed it when she got out. He then led her over to his SUV, turned them and
Commas needed after before each 'and' (expect, and complied) (turned them, and)
For a split second she was caught off guard, then bewitched as she pressed further into him and kissed him back just as passionately.
After a moment or what seemed like eternity, he
Add a comma after 'second' (For a split second,) (seemed like an eternity,)
uncle’s place… sure, was I was excited
sure, as I was excited or sure, I was...
until I got to Weber’s…
Webers
or a ton of snow, is
Comma not needed
 Thanks so much for sharing your work with us! I really enjoyed it!
 KEEP ON WRITING ON!
Tracey
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| (4.5)
| (4.0)
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Your piece showed honor to those who have fought for their country while at the same time, showing how quickly one loses their life. Reminding us all to always keep them in our hearts and prayers.
A nicely written piece packed full of emotion that comes across strongly in your words. Nice job! You nailed this one. I'm so sorry that this comes from a close, personal tribulation of losing your mom. 
Though I will only converse about this entry. 
I've always enjoyed the supernatural and paranormal. I like hearing the experiences (or lack of) from others and their viewpoints on the subjects.
Ever since I was a child, I have had experiences. But I can understand why those who have never shared these experiences do not believe. It's hard accepting something like that when it's not a part of your space.
The opening quickly caught my interest, and it pulled me right in to keep reading. I appreciate the reasoning of your disbelief of ghosts; while still being able to acknowledge other strange phenomena that are just too inexplicable, not to be considered as possible paranormal experiences.
I call experiences like that synchronicities. Especially ones like that of your boss going to Hawaii at the same time as you and your wife -- not only that but ending up one row over! That's wild! Then when you continue to elaborate on how that one synchronistic trip influenced and enhanced your future life, to me, that's nothing short of divine intervention! 
As for bad accidents being avoided? I've been there also. And no matter how many times I go over one of them in my head, the statistical odds of how I maneuvered my car, breaking the steering wheel while never leaving the two-lane highway and then just continuing down the road... well it was impossible. There's absolutely no way. I even met the young guys' wide eyes while I turned my vehicle in two totally opposite ways within a few seconds. I'm with you when things like this occur. I believe this is a divine intervention of our angels watching over and protecting us.
The writer lets the reader know this is something that's been going on for a while now. But there is finally light at the end of the tunnel, as smiles began to grace her life once more. She understands that there is still a road to travel, but with her determined strength she will continue to fight the good fight! I for one, know she will overcome, shine and kick ass!
Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. Good luck in the contest!
Tracey 
Then the last 1.5 lines turn into a twist I didn't see coming! Now, normally this is good, but not when it's at the expense of a personal experience! 
So, you know what I am probably going to say .... WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED? If you have a blog entry or storytelling about this experience, it would be wonderful if you could link it at the bottom of your piece. If you don't, maybe you'll consider doing so. That is if it's not too painful to write about. 
I find writing about difficult situations in my life seems to truly help. I have many very personal experiences listed (mainly in my blogs and real-life folder) but there are still several that only stay within my personal journal. I think you are probably one who does this already, but if you don't, you may want to try it. I find it really does expel negativity from the mind and soul, helping me to heal or deal. Whichever the case may be.
Thanks so much for sharing your piece with us! Good luck in the contest!
separate from my believe in God,
Both of those things were held as gospel at the time of there existence and someone challenged those idea.
To me that seems like a ship
Religion, in an of itself,
Nobody is perfect... in fact there 
I'm so sorry for the traumas that happened in this piece. Hospitals are definitely one of the ways to bring out many layers to everyone involved (the one in as well as the loved ones). It's not usually so black and white but the love expressed by simple gestures can be. 
I hope you are both okay now. You didn't make that clear in your piece. 
I wish you both well. Good luck in the contest! 
