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176
176
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Keaton Foster: Know My Hell! It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Oh, this is such a sad tale. I've been close to that place. The place where you want everything to just go away. Not to hurt anymore. But then there's the thought of the actual act. No, I could never do that to my family and friends. But oh, I have wanted to before. There's such a feeling of emptiness, a feeling like things can never get better, a feeling of being tired, tired of being tired. Not wanting to fight it anymore, not wanting to go through the hurt, pain, and betrayal of life. But...

We must! Life is hard for everyone. Maybe in different ways, but everyone has their weight to bear. Unfortunately, it is how we grow, how we evolve. It's really having to learn how to react to bad situations. It's usually our attitude that makes things worse. I know my attitude toward bad things happening has gone crazy at times. After all, I had a reason to be upset. Things seem to never get better, there's always something happening one right after another. But...

I have noticed that if I handle things a different way if I change my attitude, things actually don't get AS bad. They're still bad, true. But my reaction to these trials and tribulations can make a whole world of difference.

I'm still learning. I'm still trying to control my reaction to things. I'm still trying not to yell, so others' will know how upset I am about things. Because a lot of times that's what it is. I don't get the reaction from people I want, so I react badly, making sure to drive the point across. It hurts them, it hurts me and it makes a bad problem a whole lot worse.

I know it always seems like things won't get better, but they will. Then they'll get worse again, then better. It's the way off life. And we need to try and learn how to handle things and grow. *Heart*

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, (sorry for the ramble) *Laugh*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
177
177
Review of All in Good Time  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Delight* Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* What a creative story you came up with to go with the prompt, Ken! It was sweet and scifi all at the same time! *Laugh* I don't think those two words are used together too much when relating to a SciFi piece. lol.

This is a story of two unlikely friends who are indeed, Best Friends Forever. They complete each other, as best friends usually do. Their lives are found out about in a unique and surprising way.

This was a good story which held my attention from the very beginning. The body of the story flowed well and read smoothly. The ending was a nice way to bring the story to completion. Well done!

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Your title drew my attention to the story. I think you should write a brief description of the story. I think it will pull in more readers. You can always add what you wrote the story for in an 'author's note' at the bottom of your story. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
I was able to intimately get to know your characters as I read. Nice job.

*Bookstack3* Setting
Your setting was well done, which help me to easily visualize each scene as I read. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
178
178
Review of Mary's Lucky Day  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Delight* Hello 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷 It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Ah, this is a great story! I wish some of that luck would come my way. It's about time our luck took a turn for the better! *Bigsmile*

I really enjoyed this little tale. It brought a smile to my face and a good feeling to my heart, even a wee bit of hope found its' way. *Angelic*

It held my attention from the beginning. The middle read smooth and flowed well and the ending was a great way to end the story. Nicely done!

A woman recovering from illness, still weak and now flat broke and in danger of losing her small home for her and her son, is in need of help when help arrives in a wee thing of a Leprechaun. She thinks she's losing it and now suffering from hallucinations, but is she? Or is her luck finally fixing to change? Read the story and find out! *Wink*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title which caught my attention. The description peaked my curiosity and made me read on. I'm glad I did! *Horseshoe*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character is well written and developed. I was easily able to get to know her intimately. Well done! *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack3* Setting
Good job on the setting. I was able to easily visualize each scene as I read.

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I enjoyed it. *Smile*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
179
179
Review of Tell Me A Story  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Diane It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Awwww ... *Heart* What a cute story. I'll have to read it to my grandkids (ah, habit. When they are able to come visit from another state *Sad*) I know all kids will enjoy this cute story. I really like how it started out spooky, with the little, wrinkled man being kind who lived in the cottage being kind enough to give a can of tuna to the kitty.

A good moral to the story, don't judge things by their cover.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title which drew my attention and the description urged me on to read. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Excellent job with the characters. The kids had realistic dialogue toward each other and acted just as brothers and sisters do to one another. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack3* Setting
Nice job with the setting. I was easily able to visualize each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I know your little boy is no longer a little boy, but I know when he was, I'm sure he enjoyed this story. You did read it to him, right Diane? *Laugh*

*Quill* I truly did enjoy this little children's tale. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,076 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
180
180
Review of Sunday  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello drifter It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I love this! It shows that even those who want to put God first and love God with all of their heart still has hard times and is uncertain. This doesn't mean God doesn't love us! All we need to do is look at the disciples to know this. Look at who Jesus chose to represent him:

Judas betrayed
Peter was quick to anger
Thomas was a doubter
(Paul, though not a disciple, but was one of the most influential for spreading Jesus's word, was a persecutor of Christians, before Jesus opened his eyes by closing them.)

And on it goes. One was a murderer, a tax collector, etc...

It shows we all have faults. It's not the faults that count, but how we manage and overcome those faults.

I'm sorry about what happened to you in the mental hospital. I hope you reported him. But I understand that sadly, they probably would have believed the worker over you. *Sad*

Your story went from you being in there possibly for life, to living in Erie. I'd like to know what happened in-between. How did you get out? How long were you there?

Did you consider that maybe it was because you were having to conform to a religion you didn't feel comfortable with? Maybe that religion was just too strict for you. You didn't truly believe all those rules were necessary and meant you had to refrain just to celebrate, love and worship your Lord. (I don't and I love God with all my heart).

Then in Erie, we read you did get your Minister degree. I'd like to know how and when you finished school. Did you finish in the Nazarene Religion? Or did you seek another?

*Quill* I appreciate you sharing this personal writing with us. I enjoyed it very much. I send you my love and healing prayers for a happy life with supernatural strength. *Heart*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
181
181
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Doremi It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Oh, this was a creepy story! Very creative and unique. I don't think I would have ever thought of this! *Bigsmile*

I story that will keep you reading!

A young boy, with a genius IQ sits up in his playhouse working on something that will help the crop grow. People are hungry all around and the crops, or anything for that matter, are not growing. People are having a hard time of it. So the genius boy with a good heart sets out to try to help and make things better for everyone. Will he succeed? Read and find out. *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title which drew my attention. After reading the description I knew I wanted to read the story!

*Bookstack2* Characters
I thought the voice you used in your main character telling the story was a good one for this story. Nicely done!

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting was very well done. I could easily visualize each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
You're good at writing these types of stories. I would like to read more like this from you! I also think you SciFi may be your forte. Because this story was so unique and just an overall good read!

*Quill* I enjoyed your story~ Thanks so much for sharing it with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,207 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
182
182
Review of Michael  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello Cheri Annemos It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is a good story of a mother and son trekking through a long ways to look for the tribe in which they were separated.

Along the way, we find there are many other different types of people, including people from the stars.

It takes place far in the future. The little boy spends three of his summers of this long trek, looking
for the people and home he didn't know.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title which drew my attention out of curiosity and I did read the writing because of the description, but I'm not sure I understand the world building going on? Maybe I just don't understand. You may want to put what the story is about, then you can put the information about world building at the bottom of your writing. Just a thought. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
You have strong characters and I was able to get to know each intimately. Well done!

*Bookstack3* Setting
I didn't really get a sense of the environment they were in. It seems 'World Building' that would be an important part. I know you did mention a few things to let us know something big happened and the world is not as it once was. But I didn't really get a sense of the world they're in now. *Smile*

*Quill* Thank you so much for your entry. I enjoyed it. *Thumbsup*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
183
183
Review of S.R.M.S.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello dragonline (dragon online) It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is a good story and I think can be made into a fabulous one, with only a bit of editing and spacing. *Smile*

I really like that you created a unique and creative piece. It had a lot of great scenes and good vision.

There were parts that left me saying, huh? Like how the girl even arrived on the shuttle wasn't ever addressed. You also say they crashed landed into a moon which sounded like a different dimension--was this a ruse to make the aliens think they died? If so, maybe add a line or two about it also being faked. I understand they were trying to make them believe they were dead, but why couldn't they just crash land on our moon? I didn't see the significance in the other one because nothing else was said of it.

Also, the girl being in the room. I think the men put her in there? I know you don't want to give it away before it happens, but if that's so just maybe have one of the men say, "Did you take care of the kid?" or something to that effect.

I do like your story. It really kept me interested and I think this could be made a pretty fabulous piece. Just reword it a bit and add some spacing where it's easier on the reader's eyes. That's all it needs. *Smile*

*Quill* Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
184
184
Review of Running Scared  
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Jeannie Cheering for Martel It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I always like stories like this. My favorite *Smile* I've read a lot about the Bell Witch and the Bell Witch Cave, plus watched a few documentaries. It has a lot of interesting facts that they think is one of the reasons the Bell Witch was stirred up.

I know those girls were shocked to find they stayed in the Bell Witch Cave. I sure wouldn't have done it in a million years! *Laugh*

Two girls driving through a blizzard, looking for a place to stay, spot a sign, all they can make out is 'Bell" so they pull in and find a cave. Relieved, that they found a place to stay for the night, they take their supplies in and settle down. They got a lot more than a dry and warmer place to hang their head. *Shock*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Your title caught my attention and your description made me want to read your story. Nice job!

*Bookstack2* Characters
Good job with your characters. I was able to get to know both of their personalities.

*Bookstack3* Setting
Nice job with the setting. I was easily able to visualize each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I noticed at the end of your story you have written for the 300 word flash fiction. You may want to delete that now since you expanded your story. *Bigsmile*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,304 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
185
185
Review of A Sacrifice  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello Cass--Spring Spirit It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is sort of a sad tale. If she was truly that unhappy, then her sacrifice is a sacrifice to everyone else in the family. Not saying I don't understand the reasoning because I do. But she was actually going to leave, it had all been arranged, she stayed because of the feelings of loss she was experiencing while packing. Many times we want it both ways, we want it all, but that's just not possible. *Sad*

A young mother has to make the choice of breaking the bonds she's been despising for so long or stay and make it work with her young family. I'm surprised it's her choice, it seems like it would be the husbands'. *Rolleyes*

Some choices just aren't so simple. *Heart*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title which drew my attention to the piece. You may want to consider putting a description of the writing under the description and listing what you have at the bottom of your writing. Doing so may draw in more readers. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
You did a pretty good job with your main character, though it would have been nice to see some more of her mannerisms. That way the reader could have gotten to know her a bit more intimately.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I have just a couple of suggestions below. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Penb* richocheted

ricocheted

*Penv* "divorce" was not mentioned, but

No comma needed

*Peny* at the memory, and continued

No comma needed

*Peno* dinner dates, the wedding and

Comma after 'wedding' *Smile*

*Quill* I enjoyed your writing. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,541 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
186
186
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello Walkinbird 3 Jan 1892 It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Oh, creepy way to end the story! I wonder if all of the other neighbors were outside because they experienced the same thing in their homes?

This was a creative, outside-the-box, unique story. I liked the voice you used for the little boy. Good job writing it so realistically!

You don't want to crowd the monster under your bed, he doesn't like it. But he does like eating light, all kind of light. Is this monster really a demon? I think with the story line it very well could be! *Shock*


*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title and description which pulled me right in. *Thumbsup*

*Books1* My Thoughts
Below are some suggestion. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Penb* Long silence followed.

A long silence followed.

*Peng* veluor

velour

*Penr* startled house cat, and

No comma needed

*Penbl* arm out fully, and

No comma needed

*Peny* three-year old

three-year-old

*Penv* mouth, as if he

No comma needed

*Peno* compartment and play quiet."

...quietly."

*Penr* grabbed for the arm

*Penb* supporting her, and pulled

No comma needed

*Penbl* toes' grip in the edge of the bed

...on the edge...

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! I enjoyed it! *Delight*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
187
187
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Walkinbird 3 Jan 1892 It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I really enjoyed this. Reincarnation has always fascinated me. I've had my own dreams where I have seen myself in my past life, what I believe to be the scenes right before my death. I do not experience my death, but I sense that I am fixing to die.

I found this fascinating. I wonder if it's based on truth? Since the woman in your writings' Indian name is Walkinbird. After I read this, I went and checked your biography, for some reason I always thought of you as a guy. *Laugh* I guess it was just the name. I'm not sure. But you are definitely not male *Laugh* Nice photo!

I believe this was a smart idea. Posting a part of a longer story which you have in your port and then posting the link at the bottom is a wonderful idea to bring more readers in. *Smile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Nice job on your title. It caught my attention. After reading the description, I definitely wanted to read you piece.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Nice job on your character(s) *Bigsmile* The reader was able to get a sense of both the woman today and the warrior of the past. Well done.

*Books1* My Thoughts
If this is based on fact, have you ever had any other dreams or feelings of other past lives? Just curious. *Bigsmile*

*Quill* Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
188
188
Review of The Wish  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Quiltingmama It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I think as we get older we all dream about what if we could go back and still know the things we know now. The opportunity to make better and wiser decisions. Stay close to those who are important to us and that we love. Spend time doing things that will truly make a difference in our lives and our loved ones. It's a beautiful dream. Of course, if we didn't make mistakes, we would never grow spiritually. We would never grow wiser and we wouldn't appreciate the good times as much because we wouldn't have to go through the growing pains of life. Life is hard. Pure and simple. I guess it's just the way it is. But it is how we react to those growing pains that matter. Now, that's really not easy to handle them with grace, but as I have been finding out the hard way until I learn to handle it with grace, they're going to keep coming at me harder and faster. *Shock*

But if we were to just dream. It would be beautiful to know what mistakes to avoid and the way to make our lives happier and easier. *Heart*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Nice job with your characters. You made them easily relatable to the reader. We were able to feel what your main character felt and relate to her struggles, pains, and wishes. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
189
189
Review of Life After Death  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Quiltingmama It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Some guys will go to any means to get away from their horrific, mean-spirited, won't let them rest wives! But this puts a new meaning to the word, 'desperate!' Poor fellow. That's just plum sad. I like to keep to my faith as much as the next person, but I say if you're that miserable, it's more of a sin to stay in the marriage then to get out. This marriage was screaming, "RUN!" A long time before it should have killed him. *Shock*

This is a nicely weaved tale. It held my attention all the way through and even threw in some unexpected twists and turns. It's a good story which I definitely recommend. *Wink*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title. It definitely drew my attention to it. After reading the description I knew I wanted to read the story. Nice job pulling in the readers.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character is a definitely a character! HA! Well written. I was able to feel his frustrations, his desperateness and his joy and relief!

*Bookstack3* Setting
Nice job with the setting. I was easily able to visualize each scene as I read.

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing this creative tale with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
190
190
Review of A Jump in Time  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Hello Sophy It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* HA! Great story! And you did an excellent job with not-so-easy prompts! *Pthb* I love that you used the parrot as the conductor, so to speak, at the weigh station, which happened to be a bar. *Laugh* Kind of reminded me of the show, "Quantum Leap" And using the flashlight beam as a locator, that was fantastic, creative and good-thinking. *Wink*

Enjoyed the story from the beginning, which drew me in and held my attention. The body read smooth and flowed nicely, the ending was an excellent way to bring the story to completion! Well done. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Love the title and description. Both are perfect for the story.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your characters are relatable and easy to get-to-know. They both brought a grin to my face while reading. The dialogue was realistic and nicely done.

*Bookstack3* Setting
Great job on setting, it was easy to visualize each scene as I read, from the train station to the weigh station, to the jump at the end.*Smile*

*Books1* My Thoughts
You write Sci-Fi well! It flowed and kept my interest from beginning to end. Excellent use of the prompt.

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your awesome story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,180 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
191
191
Review of Rush Hour  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Sophy It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* This is a good, heart-touching story of a grown woman having to watch her father waste away in a hospital bed from cancer. His wife died five years earlier, so as an only child, she stayed with him as much time as she could. It was tearing her up inside. Watching the once strong and protective father lying in the bed, only a shadow of his former self. It was painful. It was tearing her up inside. But in the end, she knows he'd stay by her side, no matter what. So she rushes to return to the hospital not wanting to miss a single minute she can spend with the loving man who raised her. *Heart*

It's a love story between daughter and father. One that is relatable to anyone who has had to watch someone they love slip away. It's exhausting and more than emotional. It tears your soul and heart in two. But you think back on the times you have had together, maybe not all good, but the love is still there. The love is what shines through and you know you have to spend as much time as possible with them, because sadly too soon, you won't have that choice. *Sad*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Perfect title and good description. Both caught my attention and made me want to read on. *Smile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
We are able to get inside your main character's mind. She touches our heart and soul. The reader can easily relate to her, especially if they have been through anything similar. Well done!

*Quill* Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
192
192
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello percy goodfellow It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Cute story. I loved that it took place in the NorthEast Georgia Mountains *Bigsmile* My stomping grounds (errr... when I'm able to get out in stomp that is) *Laugh* What was interesting to me is they were regular height and no distinguishable features, besides the ears to differentiate those from humans. *Rolleyes* That would make living in the woods from human eyes much harder. Also, why couldn't she just grab his wand and free him from the tree that way? *Blush* Sorry. Just wondering. *Laugh*

I did enjoy this tale, though! I always enjoy a tale with one helping another, especially when the other is a fantastical creature. It wasn't very nice of him just to up and vanish on the one who helped him, was it? *Smirk2*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
The title drew my attention right away and after reading the description, I had to read the tale to find out what happens! *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack2* Characters
Nice job with your characters. It would have been nice to have a bit more details on them. I did think they were easily relatable as I read. *Smile*

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting was pretty good. I would have liked to read a bit more of the surroundings. The NE Georgia mountains are full of visual and olfactory senses! *Bigsmile*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your tale with us. I enjoyed it~


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,287 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
193
193
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello drboris It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* A disturbing tale of mates lost at sea. One is coming unraveled. Will rescue find them before it goes too far?

Great story. The beginning held my attention, the middle was smooth and flowed well and the end was a good completion to the story. A bit creepy and a bit disturbing but a good ending. *Rolleyes* *Bigsmile*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Your title caught my attention to urge me to read on. The description hooked me on in to read the story. *Thumbsup*
*Bookstack2* Characters
Even though this is a short piece, we're able to get to know the characters pretty quickly. It all happens pretty quickly and could easily be made into a longer piece with more details.

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting is done well. The reader is able to easily visualize each scene as we read.

*Quill* Below are a few suggestions for a few simple grammatical errors. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Penb* but next time, who knows.”

No comma needed after 'time'

*Peno* matches on to the seat.

matches onto...

*Peny* “But its Gary,

"But it's...

*Penp* “Colin, you’re losing it man.”

Comma after 'it'

*Penbl* Colin’s three(-)day beard,

*Penr* This time he connected,

Comma after 'time'

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story! I enjoyed it.


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,244 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
194
194
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Hello drboris It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* I am so glad I came across this story. It is hilarious! You had me chuckling all throughout, plus flat out laughing out loud. I have fanned you as a favorite author. I look forward to reading more of your pieces!

How can you go wrong with a story about a father and son working on any kind of machinery engine together? I have a husband and I have a son and when they go to work on machinery together of any kind, I suddenly develop a headache, where I must retire to my room to be undisturbed. Partly to protect me from what's going on outside and partly to protect me from them bringing the outside, inside to me. *Laugh*

This father and son antic is totally priceless! Sometimes, a father really should listen to his son.

I love the way you describe the looks between father and son. I believe this to be a classic exchange between the two, no matter where you live.

This writing kept me completely entertained from beginning to end. It is simply a must-read!

Here's a little sample:

Dad thought about it another minute or two, then said, “Maybe it’s the lead.” He grasped the exposed wire at the end of the lead with his fingers and said, “Give it a pull.”

While I am a dutiful son, who would never disobey his father, I felt compelled to say something.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try another plug first?”

He shook his head. “No, try this first.”

“Are you sure?” I asked one final time.

“Yup,” he said. “We’ll see what happens.”

I am not very scientific, but I had a fair inkling of what might happen.

“OK,” I said, already wearing my “I told you so” face.

You must read on to find out what happens next. Absolutely hilarious! *Rolling*


*Quill* You have a few simple grammatical errors. I listed them below. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Penb* I’ll still love you though.”

Comma after 'you'

*Peny* standing staring in wide eyed amazement and relief

standing, staring in wide-eyed amazement...

*Peno* No comma after the words below:

impression on me than it had on him(,) because

feed bags covered the motor(,) and

*Penbl* Use commas after each 'said' before speech and:

This time(,) he held his stung

This time(,)when he rose

all edges(,)and angles,

*Penr* ear(-)splitting

dew(-)damp

*Penw* Thanks so much for giving me such a laugh first thing this morning! It was a fantastic story! *Bigsmile*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
195
195
Review of Twenty More  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Hello rjsimonson It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Whoo! This would be a catch 22, wouldn't it? Sometimes, I think it would be nice to be younger and other times I think no freaking way! *Laugh* I don't think I could go through a lot of the growing pains I've been through the last 20. But we need to go through them, right? That's how we grow. I wouldn't mind looking younger and having some of the health perks of being younger--that would be fantastic! Now, that I could go for!

I think that's basically what you decided to do with your tale. Everything's the same in your life, except you are literally twenty years younger. So, that could make you the same age as some of your kids *Shock* Or close to it. *Laugh* That may be a little awkward. Still, it is nice to fantasize isn't it?

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title and description. It caught my attention! *Bigsmile*

*Books1* My ThoughtsBelow are a few suggestions. These are only my opinions, so please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Penb* Did I go back in time? No wait,

Comma after 'no'

*Penbl* Once I seen they were still the same,

Once I saw....

*Peno* it was back to it’s natural color

...its natural color

*Penp* I of course was trying to adjust,

I, of course, was trying...

*Peng* sometime to remember

some time...

*Penv* Now what do I do? I guess I will just take life one day at a time and this time I will treat my body better than I did before, since

Comma after 'Now' and 'time'
No comma after 'before' *Smile*

*Peny* Ether I could be depressed

Either I could...

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey
(1,558 w/o wml)
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
196
196
Review of Not Quite Death  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello Karen Bristow It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* A story of one last day on earth. As I was reading, it started talking about how she was going to miss her sister, the last story I read was of two sisters, one dying and being missed by the other. With only one sister left, it started to get my superstitions flowing *Shock* But I put that aside, not going to allow that! *Wink*

This wrote a good tale, one with an unsuspecting ending. Your beginning is strong and hooks the reader, the body flows smooth and at a good pace and the ending completes the story nicely with a twist. *Thumbsup*

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Good title which caught my attention and the description made me want to read on.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Your main character is cool as a cucumber for what she's about to go through. She ties up her last bit of life and sends off her letters. She's going to miss her family, especially her sister, but she can not, will not let that stop her. She's on a mission. Only then will she be truly happy.

*Bookstack3* Setting
You do an excellent job with the setting. From her sitting in her house and the beach, then to the woods. Nice job!

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Intuey

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
197
197
Review of A Precious Gift  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Now, this is using your creative imagination to the nines, Kiya. When the prompt said pick a fictional place to visit you've never been before, I bet the writer's of that prompt never envisioned for a second a visit like yours! Unique and imaginative. Awesome job!

Two sisters are forever tied together. Though the oldest sister is not too kind and has tried to kill her younger sister more than once. But tragedy strikes and the oldest sister is struck with an illness which is killing her. The youngest climbs into bed and talks to her about her day, enjoying the time together she can have with her sister. Then one day, the sister is able to take her into her mind and let her see why some things happened like they did. It's a gift between sisters, which no one can take away.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great job on the title and description. Both grabbed my attention to want me to read on. The description is so much more descriptive than what we can imagine. *Whistle*

*Bookstack2* Characters
The characters are well done and the reader is able to get to know them well.

*Bookstack3* Setting
*Laugh* I would say you did an excellent job on the setting. This reader had no problem what-so-ever, visualizing each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
Awesome job with thinking out of the box with this one! *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1.407 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
198
198
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Death has her in his clutches. He won't let her go. For she belongs to him, eternally. Or does she? Will she win the fight against death and all it holds? What is death? Who is death? It longs to take her to hell with him -- to keep her there. Is her will power for life strong enough to make her hold on and resist him? Read on to find out further. *Smile*

A great tale. Your a weaver of words, Kiya. You have a powerful talent and you hold your readers interest from beginning to end. Your also really good at endings. You always seem to throw a twist in at the very end. Nicely done! *Thumbsup*


*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title and description. Though, I'm a bit confused. That sure didn't read like any teenage boy I know. And when you continue to read, it doesn't seem to point to a teenage boy, but a grown man. So, that's a bit confusing. I was definitely drawn in by the title and the description. *Delight*

*Bookstack2* Characters
You write strong characters. The reader is able to get inside of their mind and understand why they're acting they way they are. Well done!

*Bookstack3* Setting
Great job on setting. I was easily able to visualize each scene as I read.

*Books1* My Thoughts
Your writing has a wonderful smooth flow. It always holds my attention and I read greedily in anticipation of what will happen next! *Delight*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us, Kiya! I enjoyed it.


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,431 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
199
199
Review of The Island  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Hello iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* Ohhhh! Good story! And your first attempt at a suspense story? Wow! You nailed it. I believe he killed her and she came to haunt him at the beach. Haunt can be used loosely, as in his conscience.

A young couple who seemed to have it all is shipped-wrecked on an island. The man is slowly losing his sanity as he watches his wife dance around in a mad state of being. Making him eat all that she seems to scrape up -- regardless of what it is. She's angry at him, he at her. They do not communicate, unless it is to argue. She will not come to his aid when he falls sick. Instead, she disappears traveling about the island, leaving him to his own defenses.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Excellent title which drew my interest. The description is a brief synopsis which lets the reader know a bit of what to expect. It made me want to read further.

*Bookstack2* Characters
Excellent job fleshing out your characters. The reader is able to get to know both of them intimately. Both are damaged goods, losing their sanity on a stranded island they have been on for countless number of days? Months? No one knows how long. *Shock*

*Bookstack3* Setting
The setting is well done. I was easily able to envision each scene as I read. Nice job.

*Books1* My Thoughts
I liked the air of mystery your story ended with. It is left up to the reader to draw their own conclusion of exactly what happened. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey

Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
200
200
Review of The Premonition  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hello willwilcox It's my pleasure to be reviewing your piece for "Game of Thrones"  [13+]

*Reading* What the hell is wrong with that man? Why would he do that? Death by lawnmower? *Shock**Sick* Did a few bill collectors really drive him to madness? Geesh...

There's something not quite right with the main character in this story. He just wants to sleep. Sleeping gets him away from the people and things which harass and irritate him throughout the day. Dreams and sleep, that's where it's at. If only he stays in bed, he'll have a good day. But a nightmare makes him awaken and get out of bed. He had it right the first time, he should have just stayed in bed. At least that way it was all a nightmare, something he could eventually wake from.

*Bookstack* Title and Description
Great title. As someone interested in such things, it definitely caught my attention. The description pulled me the rest of the way in. But why did it have to be Halloween? I didn't see where the story hinted at that small fact. Of course, we all know the spirits, ghosts and goblins come out on Halloween, as the veil is thinned and allows each to cross over without a fuss *Smirk*

*Bookstack2* Characters
What can I say about your main character? The poor man is whacked out! Literally *Rolleyes* *Laugh* I just kept finding myself saying, "What the hell are you doing? And Why are you doing it?" *Laugh*

*Bookstack3* Setting
Unfortunately, I could envision each and every horrid *Sick* scene as I read. Good job. Thanks for that *Pthb*

*Books1* My Thoughts
The only thing I can think of is what drove him to such madness? Maybe give us a hint earlier in the story. Was he so overly-distraught or depressed that he just didn't want to live anymore and would take any means to end his life. Because you would definitely be over your wit's end. Or was it the figure who absolutely made him do it? But no. He didn't seem like he was under a spell. *Questionp*

*Quill* Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I always enjoy my time spent in your port! *Delight*


*Notev* WRITE ON! *Notev*

Tracey
(1,909 w/o wml)
Image for GoT


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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