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Review of A few Haikus  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Haikus don't usually carry a lot of impact for me, but this was very good! The time element really showed. I can feel the sense of time going by. At the moment, this kind of craft would be cumbersome for me. You make me want to try a haiku. And because it is so good, it deserves something special.


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Review of Why I Write  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have been told an author writes for themselves and then for others. The latter is when we edit our stories. This piece shows you are a writer! Although this is not fiction, essay-type writing is driven by the same force. Practice makes perfect and it's half the battle. Wonderful work and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of FLY  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This such a wonderful and artful display of internal faith in God. You put in so much into this brief narration. And it is so encouraging to be reminded that we are all made in God's image and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Nice use of simile too! I think the eagle is the ultimate symbol of freedom and life. Did you know the eagle is one of the four faces of a cherub? Cool, huh? Great job and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of My Psalm  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anything like this deserves a perfect 5 stars! God bless my sister! Your boldness and sincerity is quite admirable and it is so sobering and a breath of fresh air. Do you read Christian fantasy? would you like to take look of the first chapter of my novel? I would love your input! God bless once again!



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Review of A Kitten Calls  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This was very cute. It was more of a snapshot of a few scenes than a story. But that is fitting considering the brevity of this piece. The thing that came out for me were these brief but affective few words. "...and comforting the little kitten, that started purring. It was soft and fuzzy..." For some reason I could really sense this feeling. Feel is something that usually does not affect me in writing. The only thing I found out of place was when you said they found a twelve-week year old kitten. How did they know it was exactly that age? Maybe you could have said it looked to be twelve-weeks old. I thought this was a charming little story. Happy WdC anniversary and write on!



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Review of Even Now  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a very powerful message portrayed wonderfully. It is sad how people have to come to the end of themselves to come to God. The ultimate one is death like you said. And if God does save them, they rarely fulfill the promise they made to God if He did save them. This was very moving and I enjoyed it. May god bless you! Happy WdC anniversary and write on!


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7
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I have never been in a relationship before, but this makes me leery of having one. lol. This reflects the saying "Better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all." This was well written and did get a sense of how lost love lingers in the mind. I imagine it to be somewhat nostalgic in that regard. By the way, this is the first review I have done in a vey long time. Your piece was quite stimulating after all these months. Great job and happy WdC anniversary!


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Review of Letter  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a beautiful poem. Even though I had to read over it a few times slowly, I was hooked with just the sound and melody of the fleeting verses. The door is the door of the heart, the soul, being discribed as "mother" is the seat of the emotions and a source of warm affection. Most importantly, the letter is the request and courting of another person. Am I right? I find this relatable to the haiku wich is not subject to ryhming or meter. I wish I could compose such work. lol. Great job and happy WdC anniversary!




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Review of The Dream  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
How sweet! You touched my heart. Eveything was in snyc; the beginining was nice and forthcoming, easy to picture, hooked the reader with the mysterious dream, and was fittingly brief. It's hard to write good flash fiction in my opinion. Yours was great even though it was very, very short. I noticed there was no spelling or grammar blips. Kudos for that! Great job and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of Man’s Last Hope  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a nice story. It had action, suspense and emotion. You had good descriptions as well. This one below was a favorite-

The field was littered with scorched bodies, severed limbs, and heads. Quarm stood alone in the field. After losing two of his top hands he looked smaller. Lola stood posed with her sword. Chopping Quarm’s arms had given her great pleasure.

I felt there was some infodumping and overloading of premise that occurrred roughly in the middle.It could be just me though. I would have narrated some of the plot points through dialog or action. Nevertheless, this was op tier and very VERY imaginitave. I love the hint of fantasy with the dragons. Congrats for the awardicon! And thank you for double spacing each line. It is so much easier on the eyes and it makes for better retention. Happy WdC anniversary!







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Review of FAMILY  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece of yours is well written. I like how you really REALLY delveinto all the aspects of what familly means. This line is one of my favorites-

That there are people all over this big universe of ours sending her love – probably a blur.

I like it because it is simple and sad at the same time because we often miss the natural love God made in the universe.

The last stanza is very powerful and concludes the explication quite nicely. One thing I notice is your fluidity and smooth transition from one concept to the next. Did you do any revicions or was this a single draft? All in all a great read!


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12
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem was bruataly expressive and raw. The description of weeping painted a painfully glorious image. But at the same time it was tender and full of compassion. The ending was very captivating. It made a simple statement of understanding and peace. Where did you get the inspiriation to write this? Nice poem and happy WdC anniversary!



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Review of Color Blind  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love the parallelisms of how some people look at society as one monotonous, plain everyday hum drum face value grind. Sometimes one must look behind the curtain to see the marvelous, colorful lifeforce that echoes across reality. I also like how you state in the line fourth from the bottom that you have to look at the technical, basic aspect as well. A good example of your viewpoint is culture which the most diverse and dazzling thing much like the hues of a rainbow. Great poem!




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Review of The Sound  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! What an enthralling story! This definately had professional tenor to it. This kind of has the feel of Stephen King. I see this has been reviewed many times which adds up to a deserved 4.5 stars. Sorry if I seem over complementary. I really can't find room for improvement. I would have liked to have known what the noise really was. Was it all in his head? Anyway, I loved being in Ryan's noggin. Happy WdC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love works that are short and sweet. I always say such pieces linger in the mind. Your lines were brief too, which adds to the overal retention and experience of poem. It was a little stilted with some lines such as the fifth and sixth lines. It may have something to do with meter. But, like I said, I enjoyed this poem. I hope this was encouraging and helpful. Happy WdC anniversary and have a happy Sunday!



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Review of One Last Tale  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think you did quite well with this. It was an interesting spin with the time travel element. When I understood what Barns and Ashcroft were I was curious. The concept of going back in time to retrieve stories yet to be published is neat but also pretty cruel too. lol. Forgive me for not giving any real constructive feedback for improvement. I spent almost half a year with absolutely no reviewing and I kind of got out of my critiqueing mentality. Good job with the majority of the dialog being apt and succinct. It helps to get what is being said and the white space is easy on he eyes. Happy WdC anniversary man!



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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Excellent story my friend! I was so easy to follow-something I especially look for in stories. And talk about description! I really preferred the happy ending rather than the possible bad one that would have ended in the man's death. I'm not one to take to internal reflection, but I found the inner thoughts of the Reviewer quite sad and I felt sorry for him. I did find one word that was misspelled and maybe a few more but it didn't steal from the experience. Happy WdC anniversary! Keep writing, you're a superb author!

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Review of My Whimsy  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hmm...this was a peculiar poem. But your piece was not lacking in my opinion. This had good imagery I thoroughly enjoyed! The ending was nice with the brief conveyance. I love shorter poems becuase they stick in the mind more than longer ones. The title was very fitting too. I hope you have a good WdC anniversary! God bless!



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Review of La Luna  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a lovely poem! I really got lost in the emotional reverie of it all. And, like the moon itself, your piece lingers in my mind. It would have been cool if you used the natural proccess of the moon's gravitational on the oceon as some kind of metaphor. I imagine you could comeup with something very easily. I could come up with some things. Keep up the great work! God bless!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was really nice. The sentence-by-sentence format worked well. For some reason when you mention "Paul" I thought of Paul the Apostle. lol. Don't know where that came from. The brevity of your piece only adds to the allure and senetimant of the woman narrating the occurrence. You did a good job by leaving the story open-ended with the woman's undecided mind. Happy WdC anniversary and keep writing!!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I haven't reviewed anything on WdC for eons. But I totally loved this. I liked the bleak features and the doomed peson's brooding over his own dilema. You had a very unique ending segment with the man being concsious when he was decapitated. If everything was fading and it was not death, what exactly happens to him? My favorite part was with the old bearded man and the silent communion with the convict-very emotional! I would have liked to have known what the man did precisely. Great stuff. Keep writing!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a stellar poem for sure!I love the transitions of rhyme schemes. I did have to read it over twice to get two people were having a conversation. I think the long lines kind of did that. Nevertheless, they did add a rather than take away from the poem overall. So kudos for that. lol. I love the brevity of the last line. It left me forlorn and I had this fleeting sense of emotion. I will say this will be tough to beat. Good luck for tomorrow!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The following are my own observations and opinions that are intended to improve your work. Take and leave what you will. Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.


This review is done to celebrate your WdC anniversary! Congratulations!


Very nice story! It was short but you managed to create a sulky, melancholy scene illustrated with pungent description. I like how there is a psychological distance between the reader and the person. It really reinforces the man’s dejection; he’s all alone. One thing you obviously did well was getting in the character’s head – nice job with that! Not to be redundant, but this had a lingering, nostalgic color to it, if you would. Anyway, I like this a lot and I hope you keep up the good work! Happy WdC anniversary!






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Review of The Spider Boy  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The following are my own observations and opinions that are intended to improve your work. Take and leave what you will. Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.


This review is done to celebrate your WdC anniversary! Congratulations!


(…, much bigger and much larger than him…)
Here, bigger and larger are the same thing. I think you meant to say “taller” and much larger.


(He went to school gathering up all the courage, met his friends and his classmates.)
Above, “then” should be in the place of the comma.


In the second paragraph, put each new dialog quote in a separate line.


(…she always felt that dreams are not real, they can never be true.)
Here, you say the same thing twice and moreover you state the obvious. Also, dreams being real are a fact not an opinion.


The beginning of this story was awkward and had lots of quirks. It was cumbersome to read. But towards the end, I was quite charmed at your story. I realized this has potential when I finished. Just go back and rework it a little. Doing so will be quite simple. My final suggestion is that it is always advantageous to break large blocks of text into smaller chunks. It’s a lot more readable. Keep writing and happy WdC anniversary!






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Review of Death timer  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (2.5)
The following are my own observations and opinions that are intended to improve your work. Take and leave what you will. Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.


This review is done to celebrate your WdC anniversary! Congratulations!


I thought this was too brief. The content was good and original and it sounds enticing to decent degree. But this is too cut and dry. Begin it as you would with a story; start it with a one sentence that briefly describes the protagonist or in your case two protagonists in a way that comes from their POV. Get into their heads a little. I will say having two protagonists may complicate things. Head hopping generally causes the reader to lose focus. If you do stick with two equally focused people, start with one character then break into the mind of the other and so forth. All in all, this was a potentially riveting intro. Happy WdC anniversary!





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