The following are my own observations and opinions that are intended to improve your work. Take and leave what you will. Below, your words are in parenthesis mine are not.
This review is done to celebrate your WdC anniversary! Congratulations!
(Michael was in Egypt on a trip with the archeologist proffesor, it was here that they had found this new pyramid.)
Here, it sounds better if you say-“…the professor of archaeology.” Also notice you misspelled “professor” and that I put a period after “it” then capitalized “it.”
(Michael was reluctant to head there to him it seemed it was already cursed and the inside of the tomb gave micheal the chills in the first place.)
Above, A period after “…to head there” Then capitalize “to.” Next you misspelled “micheal” which should be Michael.”
("Maybe we should head back." Michael had said to the professor. "Nonsense this will be my discovery of a lifetime."
Here, a comma should go before the second quote mark. Next a second comma should go after “Nonsense.”
(…a lifetime." The professor had argued.)
With this, a comma should go before the quote mark and then put “The” in lower case.
(Michael then had let the professor have the horn…)
What you have above should look like this-“Then Michael had to let the professor have the horn...”
(The professor then had blew threw the horn jokingly. " What are you doing professor?" Michael asked worriedly. The horn had made a sound that only the two of t hem could hear at that time. " It's probably just some small toy, no need to panic." the professor had toll MIchael.)
This entire paragraph segment has some errors. Rather than pointing everything out to you I’ll give you the corrected version of what you have above.
The professor then blew through the horn jokingly. "What are you doing professor?" Michael asked worriedly. The horn had made a sound only the two of them could hear at the moment. "It's probably just some small toy, no need to panic," the professor had told Michael.
(…had came and asked. "Michael, have you seen the professor, he was around the tomb last time, but no one's seen him since.)
Here, “came” should be “come.” Then a colon should go after “asked.” Next a question mark should go after “…have you found the professor.” Capitalize “he” next.
(…worried of the professor's well being nad wanted to look…)
Above, “well being” should be a compound word. Then “nad” should be “and.”
(…which would be unusual since he had to eat once in awhile.)
This is a little stilted. Just say-“…since he had no food.”
(Michael and his girlfriend ventured deep into the tomb, with Michael's help thanks to the professor's earlier assistance he as able to easily dodge the hidden traps within the tomb.)
Above omit the comma then put a period. The rest should look like this-“With Michael’s help, thanks to the professor’s earlier assistance; he was able to evade the hidden traps within the tomb.” Notice I changed “dodged” to “evade.” What of there were closing walls, dangerous animals let loose or the infamous rolling boulder that you have to run from?
(…body lying there with his neck twisted and sweat leaking from every inch of his body.)
Here,” leaking” is awkward. I would put “dripping.”
(It was oddly enough that then the professor had untwisted his neck and stood up.)
This sentence makes no sense. I think you mean to say-“It was odd enough when the professor untwisted his neck and stood.” Also “odd” is too weak. Use a word that reflects the frightening occurrence. Maybe you could use “shocking” or “repulsive” or what have you.
(Then the professor had oddly yelled, "Blood can you hear me? Blood can you hear me?" MIchael and his girlfriend were both spooked and worried for the professor at that time.)
Again, sue another word than “oddly.” Next omit “had.” Then, correct the spelling of “Michael.” Lastly, use better words in place of “spooked” and “worried.”
(Hte professor then turned swiftly and in an a voice that sounded as if he were possessed told Michael. "Leave me Alone!" It was at that moment that Michael had took his girlfrineds hand and ran out of the tomb with her. "What happened to the professor?" She had asked Michael. " I'm not sure." he had responded. Michael had figured the professor was posessed, but was unsure how to do anything for the moment and so he did the only thing he could do after a long day and slept.)
As before, I will show how this paragraph segment should look like.
The professor then turned swiftly and in a voice that sounded as if he were possessed told Michael: "Leave me Alone!" It was at that moment that Michael had taken his girlfriend’s hand and ran out of the tomb with her. "What happened to the professor?" She had asked Michael. "I'm not sure," he had responded. Michael had figured the professor was possessed, but was unsure how to do anything for the moment and so he did the only thing he could do after a long day - slept.
This needs a lot of work. As you can see, there are lots of issues. Nevertheless I gather you’re a teenager at the oldest. In that regard, I will give leeway. Just pay more attention to your spelling and punctuation. I can really see this being an entrancing, action filled adventure with some tweaking. I was fascinated with how experiencing this dream must have been like. Happy WdC anniversary!
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