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1,038 Public Reviews Given
1,623 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a very straight forward reviewing style. I will tell you what I liked about the story and what I didn't. I will point out any errors that I noted as I read, but editing is not a strength of mine.
Favorite Genres
Erotica, dark drama
I will not review...
Poetry, non-fiction, Vore, Shrinking fiction, Gore or straight Horror
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 ... Next
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Review of Numb  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A new POV, a previously unexplored short story genre, and a contest entry to boot...the good news is.... same Adriana Noir.

The word choice in this tale is extraordinary! One feels they are trapped there in the car with our tragic heroine. Adriana paints visuals and evokes emotion like an artistic master.

A simple sig with my trademark shamrocks courtesy of the incredible Adriana Noir
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
Proud co-host of the new "Invalid Item"  contest!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Welcome to Writing Dot Com.

Your poem dives into very emotional territory and I give you kudos for tackling the topic and at the same time hope it is not personal experience that drives the topic matter.

I feel that the first line should be "screams" plural. In my humble opinion I would have also went with "She cuts" keeping with the theme you had started with She screams, She cries.

I have rated this a 2.5, just below average, as the emotion is there and it moved me, however I feel the technical aspect need a bit of work. Good luck and write on.

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Thayamax and welcome to WDC!

Self-Inflicted Prison is a terrifying and heart wrenching look at a disease that so few people understand or even attempt to understand. How difficult it must be to hide from something that those around you don't see or acknowledge exists.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Sarah  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A very emotional story. I like that you introduced the dilema and controversy that revolves around one of our most hideous crimes ... when to get involved. This is certainly a question that is asked in any type of domestic abuse situation, spouse or child.

For all of the Mrs. Williams in the world with their regrets of not speaking up sooner...they should remember that not speaking up at all can lead to far greater hurt.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved this story! There was something so endearing about his embarrassed confession. The conversation between the two rang so true and smooth. I often struggle with dialogue but here, reading yours, I could see his blush and the incredulous look on her face so clearly!

Well done!

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Dear Dad...  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Kelly and welcome to WDC!


My Thoughts/Impressions:

You have a good start here. I think that most of us can relate to being the new girl/guy in a crowd and the many different anxious moments it can cause.

I look forward to further descriptions of the castle and the grounds and to discovering the fantasy element of this tale.

Any errors noted:

*Note4* Christmastime ((Christmas time))


Any suggestions for Improvement:

While the content here is good I believe some will over look it due to spacing issues. Each time someone speaks this should have its own line. Also spacing between the paragraphs will make it easier on a reader to keep their place and give their eyes a natural break.

I hope you enjoy it here on WDC. If you need a little help learning your way around and settling in, I suggest checking out the Angel Army and/or their Adopt a Newbie program! http://www.writing.com/main/handler/item_id/118834... http://www.writing.com/main/forums/item_id/1403831...

*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir! ** Image ID #1319218 Unavailable **


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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A fine example of how life can always get worse.

Your descriptions of the train were very well written. I felt like I could see the old fashioned engine, hear the chugging clickety clack, the shrill whistle, see the light coming through the tunnel, and smell the arid smoke as it rumbled down the tracks.

I love writing that comes through so visual.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Last Words  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Oh my God! Being a lover of good prison fiction this story caught my attention, but I must say..awesome twist! What is more evil than a man of God committing the crime and then being on hand to watch another take the fall. Though I doubt he will be of much assistance in helping the condemmed man's soul, he surely just earned his own a one way trip to someplace warm.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of The Rule of Three  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This unbelieveable story brought tears to my eyes.

The comments about the cat rang very true and any who has ever been owned by one of these feline creatures knows of what you speak.

In some ways the confusion and frustration would have been worse than rational fear. It amazes me the feelings you were able to elicit in a short 1000 word piece.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Completely and totally commaphobic....queen of the run on paragraphs! My beta reader and best friend however is a comma nazi and sprinkles them liberally through out my story in what seems no rhyme or reason to me until I just want to pull my hair out and SCREAM! *giggles* Excellent poll!

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ohhh Judity this made me laugh...and cringe. I do not think there is a writer or computer owner out there that can not relate to this tale. I personally can relate to it so well as I have recently had to force myself to quit spending every free waking moment playing on WDC and return to my own writing AND I have been having computer issues that leave me scrambling to back everything up ...JUST IN CASE! LOL

Brilliant and unique use of the prompt!

Your writing was flawless and amazing as always!

Now I am off to look for more of that powerful Vulcan!

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Writer's Block  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and salutations Fox!

Welcome to WDC and welcome to the the joy of fleeting plot pieces. *giggles* I had this experience last evening. I even slipped out of bed in the middle of the night to run and scribble some thoughts down. Thoughts that make no sense this morning but were so intense last night! *pulls my hair out*

Your topic is one that MANY will relate to here. Great poem. Good use of description.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of untitled  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Peanuts and welcome to WDC!

I thoroughly enjoyed your poem and think that there are few who can not relate to the turmoils of life. Your descriptions were vivid and unique. I personally liked the format ... not sure that is the right word...but the style leant a hectic quality to the piece...to the words and enhanced it in my opinion.

*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!{/b}*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tessa Marie and welcome to WDC!

I really ... I don't know that enjoyed is the right word... perhaps related with your poem would be a better way to put it.

The subject was thought provoking. In my opinion that is a wonderful trait in a literary piece.

I did not notice any errors. One suggestion I would make is to take a look at the spacing. Sometimes spacing the item will not only make it easier for the reader but give the words greater impact.

Write On!

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Review of Too Far From Home  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello RN and welcome to WDC.

Too Far From Home is a heartwrenching tale. You bring to light a crime that so few here in the United States even wish to admit exists.

I did not note any errors in reading your monologue.

I look forward to reading more of your work! Write on!

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Daddy  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your poem is sad, infuriating, and unfortunately all too common in todays society. The number of parents missing out on their child growning up is steadily on the rise. It is way past time to take a look at what should be out priority as parents.

Beautiful poem. I love it's straight and to the point form. Don't change a thing!
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Review of Memories Unmade  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is the second piece I read today that makes me ponder fate, meetings, and lifetimes. This is an excellent poem. I love reading things that provoke thought and make me question.

* I let you pass, you let me go, neither knowing that each time,each event belonged to us and to the unborn from us.*

This line makes me wonder what paths I have missed and where my life would be if I would have turned my head, raised my eyes, or drug myself from my own thoughts to the world and people around me.

Fabulous read! Thank you for the thoughts.

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Review of Cold Torture  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My Thoughts/Impressions:I read this and immediately thought of my best friend who I can always count on. When a writer can reach out and make that type of connection with the reader...that is talent. Very well done.


Any errors noted:Francine knew she wouldn’t miss if she’d aimed it at that bitch. ((if she aimed... instead of she'd))


Any suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions at this point other than perhaps a follow up piece. What happened to that friendship?


*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

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Review of ~Evil Fairies  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My Thoughts/Impressions:*shudders* Your poem gave me chills. I stopped what I was doing and listened for my child to assure his well being. You reached into my mothers soul and struck terror at the tenderest of parts.




Any errors noted: No errors noted.



Any suggestions for Improvement: Don't change a thing! I loved it so much I immediately recommended it to my friend and mentor!




*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I enjoyed this chapter. I believe a lot of people will relate well to Kestrel's yearnings for adventure and a profession he would enjoy.

You did an excellent job of describing the boys feelings and thoughts and the descriptions of the sheep were priceless.

I hope you will continue this tale and I look forward to reading more.

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Greetings and salutations Katja and welcome to WDC!

I stumbled across chapter two of Kestrel's Flight and loved it so I came back to pick up Chapter one.

One suggestion I have is to perhaps pare this down a bit and put the relevent information in as a prologue. It seems a little long and rambling and having already ready chapter two I would hate for others to get bogged down here and never reach your actual story.

This is just a suggestion on my part and I hope you will take it in the manner intended.

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Review of The Bus Passed Me  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (5.0)
**Laughs and Laughs** Being a Yank myself and having just returned from the great white north...I can really commiserate. I was lucky to be up visiting good Canuck friends and I do have the fact that I am a Maple Leaf's fan to my benefit!

Excellent piece that put a smile on my lips. You have a talent for telling a story with your poetry.

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting piece. I enjoyed the very simple style that you used. This item made me think. The sad thing is that this young man who suddenly has hope will most likely hang for the offense he committed and therefore serving as an example to others, taking away all hope again.

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Fascinating fantasy. I liked her thoughts on keeping her identity to herself...very unique.

To wrap such power in the body of a child is a good twist. The mans uncertain laughter after she captures his wrist and finds that he is unable to pull away was perfect.

The ending made one think of the old saying ... power corrupts.

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Amazing choice of topic. This truly goes to show that we can have an impact on people in our everyday life without ever fully realizing the depth.

It is something that we as co-workers, sisters/brothers, sons/daughters, frieds, parents... we need to remember that sometimes the deepest wounds never leave a visable mark.

Well written with no errors found.

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