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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ironworker156
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101 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Ironworker
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nicely Done. Strong imagery, creative story-line. Defiantly keep writing.
2
2
Review of The Dialogue 500  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
That was indeed pretty good. Nicely done!
3
3
Review of Caught  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely written. Congrats!
4
4
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nicely done. Good read.
5
5
Review of I Loved Him Once  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Nicely done. A sadness wrapped in regret comes through. I like it.
6
6
Review of Out Of Place  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nicely done. Well told.
7
7
Review of The Lake  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (3.0)
Congrats! Nicely done.
8
8
Review of The Planner  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Very interesting form, and very strong, in the way it conveys the story. Flashes of events and moments are conveyed in 'matter of fact' communicays of planned actions. I like it. Well Done, and creative.
9
9
Review of THE WAR HAMMER  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Nicly told, the passage of time is so clear. Really great read.
10
10
Review of Greed  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A well told tale of greed and retribution. In the act of reviewing this I would site one primary troubling point with technique. When the subject of the rocket entered the story. You seem to have desired for us, the reader, to have a suspended experience as to the subject being spoken of, as in,

"Why in the world are they allowed to build that thing?" Betsy Rivers asked.

"Have no idea, Mom," her youngest son, Robert, replied. "It sure is a big one."

This approach had the effect of throwing me out to the story as I had no idea of what was being spoken of. This moment of darkness was small but it was enough for the story to stop in my mind and have me contemplate what just happened, and pause in reading. While suspense or intrigue seemed to be the goal. In my own work I've found that keeping the reader in the information loop is best. The surprise would have been just as intense, had you said something like, "Damn, glancing out the window, how is he still able to build that stupid rocket out there."

This is only my opinion, but I offer it in the hopes, that it in some ways aides your work in some way.

Well done, I liked it quite a bit.

Dayna, The Ironworker
11
11
Review of Bang  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You might consider expanding this one because it is very good. It immediately, made me want more. Great story. Dialog was very real. Nice pace. You created a strong desire to know more by the way you touched many aspects if the human experience. Deception, aggresion and profiteering of the black market variety.

Nicely done indeed. Congrats

Dayna, aka Ironworker
12
12
Review of Unrequited Love  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely Done!

I will read more of your work.

Dayna
13
13
Review of BLAVATSKY'S BUS  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very well done. The voice of your character is strong and with clear personality. The feel of the story leads us to feel we are about to follow onto a mystical journey. Very nicely done indeed.

I hope this comment will encourage and support your efforts in writing.

Dayna aka The Ironworker
14
14
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice! And I love the ending. The voice of the story captured me and carried me through. Awesome tail, well told. Congrats on the win. Well deserved.

Ironworker156 aka D. Sanarra
15
15
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was pretty good. I didn't see the end coming, and it made me laugh. Nicely done. I was still wearing a smile while writing this.

Ironworker aka Dayna Sanarra
16
16
Review of A First  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Congrats on the win. A very creative story indeed. Writen well with a cool ending. Keep writing, There's talent under that pen.

Best to you Iroworker aka D. Sannara

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
17
17
Review of An Acrostic Poem  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very cool, Nicely done.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
18
18
Review of The Promise  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a powerful image and message. The love and anguish of the one whom has to retrieve their loved one. If I've got that right, this is a powerful story filled with a painful sadness. The hurt of momentarily not seeing the father where he was left or expect but turning to see him huddled on the ground was a great image. Well done. I liked it.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
19
19
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wickedly creative. Nicely done. Great story told real well. Congrats!

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
20
20
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nicely done! The magic infused into this story was was amazing. The emotions expressed were clear and vibrant. Lances voice coming from the grave and Julies un-dieing love. Very skillful writing indeed. You have some Jewels through out. Awesome read. Thank you for sharing.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
21
21
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is an incredibly creative tale with a powerful voice. the character comes a live and the story is very visual. Considering the inspirational photo this is an awesome tale. Spelling is sacrificed for the characters voice and you pushed it well. Nicely done, indeed. You are talented, write on.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
22
22
Review of Heaven and Hell  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cool poem. Very visual. I hope you publish it. It is truly worthy. Nicely done, indeed. But while reading I did wonder at the fifth line as to why you chose to make the priest "insolent" over say, patient. I done know but it seemed to me he was speaking form the place of being in Heaven and the warrior being in hell. I hope I not reading into it too far. But I offer it as a comment. Overall I loved it.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
23
23
Review by Ironworker
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Very nicely done. Packed with humor.

ironworker156 aka Sannara
24
24
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very cool, creative and fun obituary. Makes you almost want to say "Can't wait till you kick the buc...". Well we can wait, because you clearly have more to share.

A great little read. Nicely done, and Congrats on the win.

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
25
25
Review of Ball  
Review by Ironworker
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a creepy, fun, awesome, creative tale. Wheh, nicely done!

Ironworker156 aka Sannara
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