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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/israelmichael
Review Requests: OFF
147 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Being your reader, then your other eyes.
I'm good at...
Discovering the psychology of a writer and the effect of the work on the reader. The effect on the reader is all that matters to me. Also, I'm not a grammar giant, so don't expect much.
Favorite Genres
Adventure, Action, Fantasy and SciFi.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance. No romance.
Favorite Item Types
Poems, novels and blog articles.
Least Favorite Item Types
Erotic articles.
I will not review...
Any romance, because I just hate reading it, and because it does no good to anyone. I agree you might not understand. Thanks.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, thanks for the privilege to read this story and to share my one-reader view of it.

I especially don't like horror stories written for horror's sake; my palates are sour from the bad meal Hollywood and others have served up and like to serve.

If you look at my Bio here, you would see I like being your reader and then your other eyes, and that I like sharing the effect I think your work could have on your reader. This I will do, knowing little more I can do.

I shall consider the first paragraph as an introduction and not part of the story. Forgive me if this is below your expectation; your words in that part of the writing led me to think my decision would suit your desire πŸ˜‚


I enjoyed the story because of these reasons.

1. It is written in universal English. This is important because it means your readers would not have to struggle to understand words only people from your location are more likely to comprehend.

2. The work was straight to the point, and is not littered and made sluggish by much details. Though the walls of the classrooms and the total look of the corridor weren't specified, I don't think the reader would be worried. You had the reader's focus on β€œWhat's going to happen?” You did this, but the reader had no emotional attraction or attachment to your protagonist. This means that whether he suffers or dies, readers wouldn't care, because he was just a shadow, faceless and born all of a sudden. You understand what I meant, perhaps. If this deed of yours was unintentional, I propose you help your readers know whom they are reading about. This paragraph is getting too long. Sorry πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Finally, why do you write, and what do you intend to do through this story? I ask myself that about my writing. It affects my words and style.

Mikel Bardsdale 🧾
2
2
Review of Alan  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
The story is mostly told in flashbacks, and is interesting.

There were no needless details, methinks, so the pace was okay.

I only am disturbed by how sometimes the reader is very likely to find it hard to know whether it is a flashback going on or a real time scene.

His platoon had been inserted in the far northern corner of the city. Their objective: head southwest toward the railway station. Take it and hold it, preventing its use as an escape route once the heavy attack starts. Not far from the station, they received incoming fire.

"Shepard!"

"Yes, sir," Alan answered.

"Take Second squad and cover the two-story building on the left. Dobson, Taylor! Take First and Third Squads. The building on the right, directly across from Second Squad's target - clear the building!"


If the tense should be correct, I think it should've read: β€˜Yes Sir,’ Alan had answered.
β€œLet me get you some ice water. Then we'll see if we can get you sitting up." Leaving the room, he heard her calling for the doctor.

Alan got up and turned the potatoes one more time. "Another two minutes and they will be done," he said as he took a plate from the cabinet beside the stove. After eating, Alan cleaned the dishes, grabbed his bottle of Four Roses with his favorite glass, and went outside to watch the sunset from his porch. Pouring himself a very generous shot, he sat... and thought.


The β€˜had’ is missing somewhere in this passage too. Dust these, and you are more steps near to making this story what it can be.

Mikel Bardsdale πŸ“
3
3
Review of In the Barrio  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love chicks, only they grow and lose their charms. 😊
4
4
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (4.5)
The sentences were okay, as far as I remember, because I recall of no stumbling along the way.

The voice was sincere, methinks, and leaves the reader, or at least, me, no room to doubt the doctor's faith in his own medicine. I use β€˜his’ here to express both genders.

Concerning the theory, I say that perspective governs the sincere acts and deductions of a person. Two look at the clouds but see different shapes in them.

I think that the proof of facts isn't what is seen but what is truth; confusion hides behind what is seen, normally, but truth is always justified by her children. Wisdom is justified by her children.

I decide to stop here, since that was not the request.

Merry Christmas 🌞

5
5
Review of Special Snowfall  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I appreciate reading this kind of story again after a very long time.

Keep writing.

Mikel πŸ–Œ
6
6
Review of A Fonnie Story  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Some bunny. πŸ™‚

Keep writing.

Mikel πŸ–Œ
7
7
Review of Dear Winter  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)

It's quite funny that all the opponents you mentioned are no match for their vast foe whom they even dread.

Keep writing.

Mikel πŸ–Œ
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8
Review of Interloper  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
β€˜Even beauty must be gone, if it does not fit'; a grand finish.

I don't remember enjoying a poem of triplets in this way.

Mikel πŸ–Œ
9
9
Review of All the Time  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The deepest words I found here are β€˜all the time'. It makes one imagine many scenarios. I'm still thinking.

10
10
Review of Noticing Newbies  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with October Novel Prep Challenge G...  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Email me.
11
11
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's not everyday that one sees a story written in prose, which though is nearly written only in conversation, is enjoyable.

I also agree that children tend to become like the parent that respect and like them most. That's how racism and disregard for others come from too. I know what I'm talking about, because I know the impact of living with such parent. I'm so sorry for such children.

Mikel πŸ–ŒοΈ


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Who's D’Oso?

Also, from the questions I see here and the discussion, I glean that you have experience in marriage. My question is whether what they know of each other is enough.

I also didn't say another thing I liked about the last chapter I read: the boy calls his father Sir. That made me kinda happy, because I call my seniors that, but minors and people of these days have lost respect.

Not to be preachy, take care πŸ˜„

Mikel πŸ–ŒοΈ


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Fifth Grade  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Is that where it stops? It's too abrupt, methinks.

I enjoyed the reading and your style, and I didn't know I would enjoy a short story made of mainly of conversations. It was good.

There be a few typos here and there, and I hope you fix them.

Isn't girlfriend a word used to define female friends in a romantic relationship? You used it for her BFFs and got me confused.

One could have read on if you kept writing.

Mikel πŸ–ŒοΈ
14
14
Review of The Dark...  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The message was passed, but I wonder why she stays there.

There be good men, but those men seldom get noticed.

Mikel πŸ–ŒοΈ
15
15
Review of Genie  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Realistic a bit, since not all the consciousness of the genie was expressed, but the message was passed.

The man was selfish and had no care for the genie. The final even was a good punishment, and leaves the reader laughing in the end.

Mikel πŸ–ŒοΈ
16
16
Review of Wings of time  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Revelational.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
17
17
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (3.0)
Seems like a quickly penned poem. It lacks deep thought and weight.

I also would've liked it better if the rythm was uniform. πŸ˜‚

You are Caucasian, am I right? A negro wouldn't write it this way. It's shallow, praiseful of caucasians and benevolent to negroes in a friendship seeking way.

You also don't have the burden that they have in these days of silent, masquerade-wearing racism.

I have an ability to know much about the writer from his or her writing. It's great you wrote.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
18
18
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting. A nice read.

Welcome to the group.


Israel πŸ–οΈ
19
19
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (4.0)
πŸ’
20
20
Review of Hypothermia  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Cool, imaginative and original.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
21
21
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It was poems as this that stitred my love for poems. Keep writing.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
22
22
Review of Beyond Reach  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (4.5)
I felt the spark through the words.
Greetings.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
23
23
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: E | (4.0)
How do i play then?
24
24
Review of Ritual  
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Sad.

It's sad that both men and women use each other's weaknesses to feed on them.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
25
25
Review by Mikel Bardsdale
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The part of wrinkled body was a bit scary 🀣 But it's nature and life. It's good to remember how short time here is.

O enjoyed it and learned a lot. Thanks and greetings.

Israel πŸ–οΈ
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