Honestly speaking, I had a hard time reading this. But I think the idea is there, but it needs more grammar, spelling checks and punctuation (seeing as there is none). I do like the haiku style, it fits the theme nicely. But for me, the spelling and lack of punctuation is what puts this off for me.
Poor, Poor Jonny... His arm... gone.... We must all realize that people who have lost limbs are still human too, Disabled people are not more different than you or me, I like this story but am sad for Jonny. We always take what we have for granted. Like our arms.
I am extremely confused about what this story is about? Is it about a murder? I have no clue, Please try to make it more understandable, though good details still very confusing, but it can always get better. Please try to make your stories even better than this one.
Wow! I think it's very... interesting? It could do with some more lines but overall I like it, I think it could be improved, Nothing is ever perfect, but this is a great start, If you keep on trying you will get better, You can trust me.
Very cute and adorable, I think it's great but I think some word choices make the entire thing confusing and hard to read. I got confused on multiple parts, but overall I think it's great! Good luck with your writing adventures!
Beautiful poem! I really like it! I think that it could use a bit more... emotion I guess? But overall it is very good! I like it and I hopefully will be able to read even more from you! and don't forget! Keep doing your best and it will pay off! Trust me!
Woah! Creepy!! But overall very good! Could use some more lines and some of it is very confusing, but with all due time, your bound to get better. Don't forget to keep at it and try your best! I honestly think this was pretty cool! So keep at it and I cannot wait to see other stuff made by you!
Wow! This story is pretty good overall! I would love to see the next part but I do not see anything about where this takes place, when does it take place. That is very good to know when you edit things as it can always help out your story and make things come together, Overall I like it :D
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