|EDIT:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.
REVIEWING:Revision with a view to improvement.
Welcome to my home away from home.
I am a present waiting to be opened,
hoping someone will discover the gift that is inside.
I am an eagle waiting quietly for the day that I can fly,
finding my true place, way up in the sky.
I am a small part of this universe I'm in,
but only I can play this part, or the disguise is rather thin.
I am something miraculous, like a rainbow after a storm,
heralding the returning sun, so sweet, soft and warm.
I am a temple for my spirit, time to set it free,
so I can run, dance, laugh or sing, and just let me be me.
© Copyright 2015 Midnight Wanderer (UN: midnightranger at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Consider the following suggestions for an 'edit' to your pleasant poem.
A basic is the serial comma for the last line; 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.
so I can run, dance, laugh, or sing, and just let me be me.
I am a present, waiting to be opened,
I am an eagle - waiting quietly for the day that I can fly, (option - instead of a comma)
A few words on which we frown, is the overuse of 'that', and 'but', consider word use.
A suggestion in the last line:-
so I can run, dance, laugh, sing, or let me be - as I am.
As it stands at the moment, it is a good poem.
Poetry is not my strong point, and to comment fully, is above me.
The suggestions are for you to look at, use or discard at your discretion.
This work has already been entered, consider this as an exercise for the future.
Well done, and keep at it.