Ethan Wolverton's (jankedyman) Reviews

Review Requests: ON
17 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'll read your writing, and dissect it line-for-line adjusting any grammar, flow, spelling, etc. I will also give my general opinion of your piece. I will never insult you and will point out the good and the bad. I am very nit picky so if you don't like that then I suggest you move on. However, I believe I am capable of improving your writing technique, quality and overall style.
I'm good at...
Grammar and English conventions. I also don't shy away from delivering my opinions on your piece, good and bad.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, thriller, mystery, historical fiction, dystopian
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
1
1

Review of My God – I am afraid…  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'll preface by saying, I'm not religious, but I enjoy religious media and iconography. This is no exception. The flow of the rhyme scheme fits perfectly within this prayer-like chant, each stanza ending with a repetition of three, and the titular line "My God - I am afraid...". I truly feel this unnamed protagonist's spiral down this religious-induced rabbit hole. The character is speaking to God, but still claims to be alone. And at the end, they don't say 'My God - I am afraid," only, "For I am so afraid...".

So, my theory is that the "him" throughout the poem is actually the author struggling with their own religious doubts. Something happened that began the questioning of his faith, which is why he's calling to God. He's seeking answers, but this has led to him feeling alone, as if there is no God to be with him. He's afraid of losing his connection with God and doesn't know where to go, so he pleads one final time for guidance. But that's just my theory!

Notes: There is a bit of weird rhythm in a few lines.

"I don’t’ fit in to this new life[.]" Does not flow well with the surrounding lines. Removing the word "to" or just a single syllable elsewhere in the line will correct this.

"So often have I prayed
to You – Creator of the light[.]" I would put the words "to you" on the line above and have "Creator of the light" sit on its own line. But obviously it's up to you.

Nonetheless, this was a very engaging piece that really made me think! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2

Review of Hope  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a pretty solid piece! I'm a huge fan of the introspective nature of it, reflecting upon what hope truly is. Who has it? I will say, however, is hope meant to be a character? Like an entity of sorts? Because it's capitalized in "Does he still believe in Hope?" But the very next sentence, "Or did hope leave with everything he lost," it isn't. Perhaps this is purposeful, but I wanted to bring it to your attention. Great work nonetheless.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3

Review of Orphan Thoughts  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very snappy but effective poem. The relationship is kept intentionally vague, and I think that works charms. Is this a romantic partner? A wife? girlfriend? Estranged lover? It could even be a parent with a poor relationship with their child or vice versa. I love the dichotomy between the words "angel" and "Death", obviously an oxymoron, but the person's "savior" is their pain. They're yearning for a bond that will, unfortunately, never be there. It's tragic in all of the most wonderful ways. Great work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4

Review of There Is No Freedom Here  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a solid poem. I do, however, wholeheartedly agree with your message. The images work well enough. If I had to complain, I would say the images don't jump out at me; they just exist. You're just kinda saying if that makes sense. Yeah, freedom is in jeopardy, but what about it? There are no consequences stated, no solutions given, just statements. While they are nice statements, a story isn't necessarily being told. But it's still a pretty good piece. Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5

Review of Starlight Twisters  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This was solid. The phrase "starlight twisters" is beautiful if a bit overused. I think it should be used sparingly to drive the point home and make it feel more impactful when it is said. Besides that, it was a short, pleasant read. Good job and keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6

Review of The Thicket  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Overall, I enjoyed the first chapter of your (hopefully) future novel. There were no grammar mistakes I noticed. I don't want to accuse you of anything, however, parts of this do feel like they were written with ChatGPT, the extensive use of em dashes and the consistent listing of threes. Also, there are places that don't feel like ChatGPT, which are wonderfully unique. Sounding like ChatGPT is also a warning sign that it feels generic, which it kinda does. I'm not particularly invested in this character, Bethany. She feels like a generic bullied girl, what makes her unique? What separates her from the millions of girls who are obsessed with boys? The thousands that are bullied and self harm? Distinguishing Bethany can be the difference between make or break, especially considering she's the main character. Also, the 'voices' can easily lead into something goofy like 'Jeff the Killer' if you know what that is. That's something you certainly want to avoid. There is definitely some growth to be made, but right now, it's good. I would say it's good. But it can be awesome if you add more of you into the novel.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7

Review of The Bells of Choice  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow this was spectacular! I started reading and was like meh, but I decided to keep reading and man am I glad I did! The split seconds was beautifully described in multiple paragraphs, and very well at that! This is like those scenarios we create saying "I would totally sacrifice myself," But would you? James had to make that choice and he did sacrifice himself only to be met not with congratulation, but with manipulation. That little twist right there on the end was spot on! I thoroughly enjoyed this and can find nothing to comment on to improve it! Good job! Keep Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8

Review of Silences  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
The writing is fun, and the point of view from a child is interesting. However, there are a few parts that broke the immersion, some parts because children just don't think that rationally, regarding the win/win situation portion. Also, the 'climax' of the story, the part where there's the figure is so fast, out of the blue, and vague that it confused me and I had to reread several times. I would suggest describing the figure a bit even if it's just as 'a void' or 'a mass of writhing shadows' just to make it a hair longer. Maybe give it a bit of set up saying the lights are flickering or something along those lines.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9

Review of The Lesbian Christian  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I appreciate the message. However, are you just retelling a story? If so I would frame this very differently, because it kinda feels like I'm talking to you and you're just telling me about this. If so then that's fine. I did enjoy the piece though, I could feel the emotions from Lu. I love the message though! Keep Writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11

Review of Justice, Vengeance, Love, and Law  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm not religious, but I enjoyed this! I'm a huge fan of any kind of writing, doesn't matter how it leans, and this is an example. It was short and sweet but that's all it really needed to be. The biblical tone and imagery help the piece move along authentically. Overall, great piece! Good job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12

Review of Love for rose's thorns  

Review by jankedymanMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
You have an incredible writing style! Your prose, vocabulary and imagery coalesce into a poetic piece. However, I really struggled to follow along, I don't know if it's because I'm unaware of the fandom or no, but if it is, consider making it so others not of the fandom can understand and follow what happens. If it isn't, consider starting the time jumps with what character is being focused on. The omniscient narrator seems to fit this kind of story which is good. You haven't done what a lot of fantasy tends to do and lore dumped yet which is very difficult if the rules of this world are different. Overall, good piece, very entertaining! Good job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .