|Great story, I like how it flows and the charectors were believable. I did notice on the 12 line where they are heading to the bard and it starts to rain, you start out We then change to They. You need to stay with WE. Also with the same paragraph you should change the beging a little since it already is raining why go out to a barn when you know you will get wet, maybe have it a dark overcast day, then have them go out side and it starts to rain.
Same area, where he starts tickling her, needs to be me. I have noticed you like switching from one point of veiw to another. Try and stay in one point of view. Its hard belive me I do the same thing. What I do is put my self in the story and act it out. It helps me with my point of view, wether I want the story in first person or second person or as a Nerator. As I said this is a great start and there are a few more places where you change from one point of view for another. Just reread it and look for where you go from he, she, they, them; to me, I, we and find which one sound better.
Keep up the great work you are doing great.
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