I really liked this poem, but there were a few parts that did not make any sence. She falls flat on her face , then a few lines later she stops in her tracks. These two lines clash. Did she get back up and start running again and we not know it? If you can say she got up and ran again it will make sence. Other then that it was great. Keep writing.
A new voice in poetry is rising!!!!Well done I love this poem. I liked every thing about it. It was so great and wonderful read. I will have to go back and read a few more of your poems. Well done and keep writing.
A sad short poem. Even though it is short it had a punch at the end that just makes you gasp. Well done. I really liked it. Keep writing you are doing a great job.
This is good but I think you can tell use why the darkness needs to hold her. Give us a view of why she sits there is she mad sad lonely? Has she just lost someone close to her? Let us see why she is there doing what she is doing.
Keep writing!!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
LOL this was a fun short read. I think a few paragarphs would help it some. I really like the charators in your story and the story was fun to read. Thanks for shareing keep writing you are doing good.
Oh my, hold on I have to wipe tears out of my eyes. What a great story and the childern were so beleveabl. I can just see them in a kitchen doing this. I could not help but laugh, it can happen. Well done I think you did a great job writing this and the dialog and the childern were great. You did an out standing job.
Well done this poem speaks about many peoples lives. It is so ture and so heart felt. Your words bring it out very well.
Keep writing you are doing great.
What a great poem, the feelings were so raw and deep.
I could see the angish and feel it to. Well done on how you brought the feeling out in this poem.
Keep writing you are doing great.
Well done, I really liked reading this story. I could not stop once I got started. The charaters were believable and the way this story was told was great.
Please keep writing you are doing great, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Good job, keep working on it you are doing good. I think this poem needs more feelings added to it. To me it reads very slow and stagnent. Add a little more feelings too it. I liked what it had to say, it just needs more speed and flow to it.
This is one of the best true love poems I have read in a long while. It is full of deep emotions. Well done. Keep writing from the heart you are doing great.
Its long but well worth the read!!!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Wow I think you told us very well how you feel about god in your heart. This poem was very powerful and had chills raceing down my spine. Well done.
Keep writing you're doing great.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This poem mademe think of life in a differant view after reading it. Life is not grand with out the lord and love in it. Well done keep writing from your heart.
Great poem, very dark and mystical almost. Well done. I like the flow and how you drew me in to the read and how I wanted to know what happened next. Well done keep writing you are doing great.
This is the hottes poem I think I have ever read. It sure would heat up any cold night. Wow have you though to add it to say a short story? I think you would be good at making this work in a story. I love how vived the words are in this poem it makes me feel the hot kiss on my neck and so much more well done. Keep writing you are doing GREAT!!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jantiel/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 5:19am on Apr 18, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
