WOW! That was amazing. got chills reading it. It was long but it kept me enthralled the whole way through. It's a fantastic premise for a story and you did it so well. I'm so glad I read it :)
There's definatley lessons to be learned from it. You could probably get a novel out of it, if you were so inclined. I'd read it.
-Jayne
Wow this was a really powerful piece. It actually gave me chills, The atmosphere was perfect, engaging and expectant. I loved this line "I force down the rest of the day shard by shard. "
The two elements of the story ran perfectly side by side. It is a difficult thing to do but at no point was I confused. Towards the end I found myself nearly holding my beath wondering what would happen.
I'll look forward to reading more of your work.
-Jayne
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