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Review Requests: OFF
403 Public Reviews Given
407 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style will change to conform to the needs of the work. If I find no grammatical issues, I move on to something else and will always concentrate on the requested aspects of the piece per the author's instructions. I enjoy reviewing others' work.
I'm good at...
Helping with descriptive phrasing, less capable in grammar, and always aspiring to be honest yet polite. I feel that those who concentrate on criticizing are compensating for something lacking in themselves.
Favorite Genres
Literary, SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, and almost anything I'm requested to do.
Least Favorite Genres
X rated. Other than that, I haven't met one yet.
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novel chapters, etc.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poems, because I know very little about that art. However, I am very willing to give my impression of a poem. I just make no promises as to how helpful it will be.
I will not review...
X rated or anything over a rating of 18+
Public Reviews
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176
176
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (3.0)
A quick boo boo, I htink "...I was not sure whether we were taking American or English..."-- would this be "talking"?--... this is very confusing, but then I am easily confused. Thank you for letting me read this and did laugh a bit. jdennis
177
177
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (3.0)
"But then the noise came, the sound I did understand, chaos, people screaming, cars honking, the heath, the cold, the hunger. I was scared most of the time." This sentence confused me. There seems to be a tense change from past tense to present tense and back to past tense again: "then the noise came,the sound I did..."--I noticed this in several points during the story and it made me jump back and forth, which caused even further confusion. Another example: "we crawl(present tense) up together in the corner of the street and at that point, I felt(past tense) safe." Also there were several translation boo boo's from inputting from your word processor into this pages software. Example: " are MINE humans."

If you go back and repair these small issue you have a very good story here and I love the point of view being the puppy. That is a great, uplifting, piece and I look forward to more.

Thank you for letting me read this. jdennis
178
178
Review of The Troll Wife  
Review by jdennis
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Odora look at the house and then the barn."--"Odora looked at the..."; That's all I could find. This is a great story and you tell it well. Thank you for letting me read it.

jdennis
179
179
Review by jdennis
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
"Kainda and Orain sat in the back of the family hovercraft looking out the windows at the scenery that swishes by."--Orain and Kainda sat, but the scenery swishes by?--I think this is a switch in tense or at least it has caught my eye and felt like one when I was reading (just an observation).--"Kainda looked over....She faced her father sitting in front of her again. “What does that mean?”--I can only say that I was confused here, are you saying that Kainda turned so that she was facing her father again and asked "What does that mean?" (sorry, it may just be me). Just a few questions about crafting, but now for the good stuff. This was something NEW and was told in a subdued manner, which I have never seen before. It is like a simple conversation that tells the story of a future culture of respect and peaceful individuals who are cautious yet committed in the most important relationships. I like this very much. Just read it over a few more times and sharpen it to a point and you will have a winner. Thank you for letting me read it.

jdennis
180
180
Review of Oak (Poem)  
Review by jdennis
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This piece is full of emotion: desire, doubt, longing, regret . . . loss. A wonderful read and I would not change a word. Thank you for writing it. jdennis
181
181
Review of The Blue Apple  
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Once upon a time, a Boy was walking down a street on a cold autumn evening." Try to avoid "was and were" especially in the opening paragraph. Try something like--"Once upon a time, a boy walking a lonely street . . ." Just a personal preference, but I have always been told to avoid passive verbs like was and were and to use action verbs to give the reader a feel of "involvement"; "‘How can there be no such thing?..."--maybe--"How can there be "no such thing?" the boy asked. "Here it is, can’t you see?".

Now for the good stuff: I love it! It is involving, fun and the ending is a bit of a twist from a usual Proverb. You should definitely continue to write.

Thank you for letting me read this,

jdennis
182
182
Review of A WINTER VEIW  
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (3.0)
"Its early in the morning"--"It's..."; "As I looking..."--maybe-- "Looking out the bedroom..."; "...breaches..."--branches?--; many boo-boos like this, but the underlying feeling is wonderful and after a little work the imagery will be successful. The feeling of the piece came across in very comfortable images (blankets of snow, trees guarding the loving home, Bob Ross quietly whispering as he paints...) all cozy and warm on a winters day. Thank you. jdennis
183
183
Review of MIRAGE 1  
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Imaginations, my only aides all these years." should this be "Imaginations, my only aides for all these years."?--"...your beats(,) live with your purpose."--don't let a simple (,) or (;) stop the reader. I was devouring this before I trip over this---. Now for the good stuff; Visual, engrossing(no, it swallowed me whole), keep going and I will gladly review.

Thank you, jdennis
184
184
Review of Wishing Well  
Review by jdennis
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Just a few quick edits -- "Gretta was a plump woman, but very short"-- being "plump" is not a description of height, so should this read "Gretta was a plump woman and very short"? ; "...then looked at Gretta with a mischievous grin..."--can a bird grin? ; "The made ungainly dancing partners."--They made..."---just add a "y" ; ""Yes, but they just call be Corby now." -- should be -- "...call me Corby now." me instead of be.

Kind of depressing, but a really good story telling and kind of refreshing in that the "happy" ending on fables like this are sometimes boring and this is a change from that---I think a good change. Thank you for letting me read it.

jdennis
185
185
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (4.5)
First: "or at least that what he thought.", should be "that's" or "that is", "consciousness", "What was so important about this day in history?"--was his life historic?, or should it be "this day from his past?"?," As Cody was contemplating what all of this all meant,"--too many "all"s, Should this be "what all of this meant"?

Just a few observations of mind "farts" and such. Overall, I am impress with the imagination and the mastery of recent history. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
186
186
Review of Widow's Walk  
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not a poet, so I can not help. However, I can tell you that the emotion carries through to the reader very strongly. Add some more because I had the feeling when I read this that it was not complete. Of course, that could be the point--as I said "I am not a poet".
187
187
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this to be highly visual and very impact filled for a short-short. My temptation would be to add more for the sake of explanation, but that would be a mistake. My confidence has not yet been fully earned, yours is and rightfully so. I look forward to more of your writing.
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