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63 Public Reviews Given
63 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Akikomax
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a sweet story. I really love your writing, none of this seemed to written in a passive voice, or I didn't notice it. It's straight forward and deals with change, Lisa being very depressed to her realizing that she does have a lot and her family will always ne there for her. I loved that her husband was so worried and loved her so much.
27
27
Review by Akikomax
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very sweet poem. It seemed to come from your heart. I couldn't quite catch the rhythm you used here, that is the only thing that I feel didn't come across well.
28
28
Review by Akikomax
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I liked the writing in this story but it seemed too 'Stepford' to me. I felt like Tonya was spying on Laura and I think if she had a three year old child at home she wouldn't have a lot of time to spy on her neighbor. Leaving a child alone is dangerous but I feel putting two children in a seat is okay. My mother did it all the time with me and my best friend when I was a child. I don't think it's something to call CPS over.
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29
Review of Strays  
Review by Akikomax
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a very powerful piece that I thought flowed very well. There were no places where I stopped to re-read or anything, no hiccups. I like that you gave Jared and David such a powerful back story without going into a huge amount of awkward detail. You showed us through Jared's mind, you didn't just tell us. I also felt as if I knew David well, even though we never 'see' or 'meet' him. A great piece in general.

Something to work on might be introducing some information sooner. I liked that Jared is a cop and feels his life is worth less than another's but it seemed a little late to bring in. It would've been nice to see just a little more of that and a little less reflection on the foster care system. That's just my opinion though.
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30
Review by Akikomax
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked the simplicity of this. It brought clear images and evoked emotion all in a very short span of time.
31
31
Review of Missing Her  
Review by Akikomax
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like this piece over all but I had to read it twice to understand what it was about. I think it's really sweet though. However I think that you made it hard to decipher on purpose, but it would be nice if it was confirmed that it was a teddy bear in a washing machine.
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