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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jeff
Review Requests: OFF
4,327 Public Reviews Given
4,456 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi George Anthony

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I really liked the visual language in this piece. It was evocative and made for a quick, engaging read.


Suggestions

I think a few more specifics would be helpful for the clarity of this piece. While the sentences and structure are elegant, it almost feels like this piece is talking around something, or speaking in generalizations. Some clarity or focus would help hone this piece a bit.


Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read. Nice work!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2
2
Review of Me and AI  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Lizzie Winter's Fairy

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

You did a great job laying out your opinion on the use of AI here on Writing.com. I particularly like that you tied it into an actual experience you had with an entrant to one of your contests using AI. It added a layer of authenticity to the piece that - had it not been included - might have made the piece seem more like a random opinion rather than the informed opinion of someone who has experience in this area. Nice work!


Suggestions

I do think there's a bit of a conflict in the types of AI you're describing in your article. There have been a lot of conversations about use of AI on this site, but most people aren't arguing against the use of AI for things like proofreading, translating, etc. (the latter of which is the example you cite). Those uses of AI are less controversial than the "big issue" in AI that most people have, which is using LLMs to actually create content and write it for you, rather than using it to translate what you've already written. I'd be interested to know your thoughts on that use of AI, and whether simply mentioning that AI was used to write a contest entry itself is something that you would support. All of this goes a bit beyond the scope of the piece as written, but it might be worth addressing the parts of AI use that most people are talking about.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was a well-written and well-presented article on the use of AI for the purposes of proofreading or translating your existing work. I'd be curious to also know your thoughts on using AI to create writing! *Smile*


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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3
3
Review of Words of advice  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Andrea

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I really liked the message of your piece. I think it's important encouragement that everybody would benefit from hearing. *Smile*


Suggestions

I would have loved to have read a little more in this piece. It was brief enough to be almost a newsfeed post or quick blog entry, but as a static item in your portfolio there's a ton of room to expand on the idea and flesh it out a bit. I would love to see more of this type of encouragement!


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed the read. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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4
4
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Dia

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I think you did a great job with this item and capturing the feeling of struggling with a weighty issue that you bring with you into a relationship. Whether it's mental health, addiction, a troubled past, etc. the baggage we bring with us into a relationship can be a lifelong struggle to manage.


Suggestions

This was labeled as a poem, so the prose approach to writing things out kind of threw me for a bit. I think it might be better classified as some type of prose, or have a little context provided about what poetic structure you're trying to follow.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was a solid item and I definitely identify with the struggle of bringing difficult issues into a relationship. In my experience, finding the right person means finding someone who loves you as you are, baggage and all. It might be a third party in your relationship, but Mr. (or Ms.!) right will be the person who's willing to accept that third party and will love you either way. *Smile*


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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5
5
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi TheactualTreasure

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

This was a really endearing story that made great use of imagery to create a vivid scene in the reader's mind despite the brevity of the piece. I also liked the theme of overcoming fear and how many of our fears are proven to be somewhat irrational when we're encouraged and supported by others. Nicely done!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this item. *Smile*


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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6
6
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Sylvara

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

The detail and description in this story was great. In just a handful of sentences, you did a good job of creating a vivid setting.


Suggestions

I noticed a tendency to switch between past and present tenses from sentence to sentence. I'd recommend a quick proofread to address those issues.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed the read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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7
7
Review of The Next Sunset  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Vita Amare

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I thought you did a great job with the sensory detail in your item. It was easy to visualize the setting and the circumstances, which is due almost entirely to your great job of adding enough description to create a vivid image in the reader's mind. Nice job!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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8
8
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Mimi Bordeaux

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

This item was a fun read. I think the musicality of the soundalike words throughout the piece, which gave everything a fluid, fast-paced feel.


Suggestions

It's a little unclear what the purpose of this prose is... if it was meant to be persuasive, informative, meant to evoke certain emotions or see something a certain way. I found myself looking for intent behind the piece that was difficult to discern.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was an enjoyable item that was entertaining to read. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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9
9
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi The Key Mightier

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I enjoyed the creativity of this piece. The idea of being pulled inside a newspaper comic (and then escaping) was clever and fun to follow along with.


Suggestions

It felt like there were a few too many unnecessary details in the opening paragraph that didn't really move the narrative forward. In a piece this short, every word is essential, and for me it felt like the story took a while to get started because of the overemphasis on setup and exposition.


Overall

Overall, this was a fun read and I really enjoyed it. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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10
10
for entry "Cosmic ChessOpen in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi KingsSideCastle

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024Open in new Window..


*Train* Positives

I really enjoyed this take on the image prompt. It felt like the real opening to a book, one that created a setting and a clear image of what's going on, but also promised something much more in the final words. I love this contest, but I often find that people write solely to the prompt (i.e., it's a good couple-sentence response to the picture prompt itself, but it doesn't really work as a story starter), and in this case I think you managed the difficult feat of accomplishing both. It's a great prompt response and, in the absence of the image, a great story starter on it's own. That's not easy to do... well done!


*Train* Suggestions

I don't have any specific suggestions for improvement. I think you did a really great job with this item as-is.


*Train* Overall

Overall, this was an excellent contest entry and a story starter that would, independently of the contest, definitely hook me on the book it was written for. Really impressive work on this contest entry!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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11
11
Review of starlit bullet  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Wisteria

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I loved the structure and the imagery in this poem. It was evocative, powerful, and really elegant. Great work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this poem. It was a lot of fun to read. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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12
12
Review of Lizzie  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi TRGarner

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

Writing stories with fewer than 120 words is a real challenge, and I think you managed to do a good job of telling a complete, cohesive story in so few words. The details were enough to paint a clear picture without including so much that it bogged the story down.


Suggestions

While acknowledging that you don't have a ton of space to work with to create a lot of context or backstory, I did find myself with a few questions, like how Lizzie had lured Suzie (presumably a child she had an antagonistic relationship with) to an old shed, and why she was there "basking in the glorious spray of blood" all day long. Just a few extra details or some additional context would help the reader better envision this story, I think.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story. You did a great job creating a horror story with an extreme word count limit and managed to make it engaging and interesting all the way through. I think there's some room for improvement, but you have a great foundation and are off to an excellent start. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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13
13
Review of Unrestful Travel  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi MEISAME

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I thought you did a good job capturing the paranormal element of the story, and instilling it with a tone that matches the genre. Atmosphere can be a difficult thing to capture in so few words, but I think you did a good job here. I also think the brevity of the piece worked to its benefit, keeping the pace moving along.


Suggestions

The repetition of the dialogue didn't really work for me. It can sometimes be an effective way of accentuating a point or emphasizing the drama of a particular sentiment, but four instances of the same line felt a bit like overkill, as did using the device twice in such a short story. I think you would have had the same effect with one line of repetition, or possibly even none at all.


Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read and the good start to a story. I understand from the note at the bottom that you won't be continuing it, which is totally fine, but I think you did get off to a great start with it and have a solid foundation upon which to build if you were so inclined. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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14
14
Review of HAPPINESS  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Naomi

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a great job with this item. The whole tone of the piece was inspiring and encourages reader to think in an optimistic and positive way about life. I definitely think this is a message a lot of people need to hear!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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15
15
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Silent

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought you did a great job with the imagery and the voice in this poem. It was well-structured, concise, and filled with emotional energy.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem and felt like you did a great job capturing the sentiment you were trying to get across for your reader. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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16
16
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Hi Bookcase

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This was a fun, entertaining flash fiction story. I like the lightheartedness to the piece and thought you did a good job telling a complete story in so few words.


*Firework* Suggestions

I think the last line of the story (where the narrator swore never to speak to Burt again) is undercut by the fact that she does speak to him repeatedly in the story. I'd recommend either changing the ending line to better match how she treats him, or alter the first part of the story so that the last line matches up. Personally, I'm more inclined by the latter... maybe she doesn't say anything at all and Charlotte does all the talking, telling Burt to leave her alone, she's clearly not interested, etc. ... so that when she speaks to Charlotte at the end, she's preserved her promise to never speak to Burt again.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a fun, enjoyable story. Nice work!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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17
17
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi PaisleyS

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought this was a really great piece, full of useful anecdotes and personal experience that you share with the reader. Sometimes time and reflection can be the best teachers and I think you did a great job of sharing your story and your journey in a way that will be really beneficial to others. Nice job!


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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18
18
for entry "EclipseOpen in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi KingsSideCastle

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024Open in new Window..


*Train* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I particularly appreciated the fact that this is shape poetry that takes the form of a crescent, eclipse-like shape. That was a clever way to visually reinforce the language of the poem, which was well-presented and well-structured. I'm fascinated by eclipses and thought you did a great job capturing the mystery and awe of the phenomena.


*Train* Suggestions

I'm not sure if the picture of the eclipse was part of the prompt you were required to use or not, but if shape poetry was your intent, I would have loved to have seen the shape of the poem and the shape of the image match a little more closely. The words seem to be a partial eclipse while the image at the bottom is a full eclipse. I think it would have been really cool to have some symmetry there.


*Train* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this item. It was a pleasure to read, and you clearly put a lot of thought into how this piece was laid out and presented. You did a good job with it, all things considered. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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19
19
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Mender_Eon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I thought this was a well-written and well-presented article. I particularly liked the citations you referenced to back up your points. It was a quick, interesting read.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this item. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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20
20
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Sherasi

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this item. My wife is a special education teacher and works with kids with varied special needs and those on the spectrum and it's really opened my eyes to how remarkable and unique everyone is, regardless of whether they struggle with neurodiversity or not. Really nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

I would recommend putting a line space between the "au contraire" and "of Tolerance" lines. Since you're mixing up the rhyme scheme (i.e., abab, cdcd), having a visual separation between the two stanzas and the rhyming end words might help structure the piece a little more solidly.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great item with an excellent message. Well done!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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21
21
Review of The New Artwork  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Eregnon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed this story. In just a few words, you were able to tell a complete narrative with a twist at the end, which isn't easy to do so concisely. Well done!


*Firework* Suggestions

No suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. It was a fun read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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22
22
Review of Mom  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi thomasmcharg

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

This was a really touching piece dedicated to mothers everywhere. I also lost my own a few years ago, and really connected with the sentiment in this piece.


*Firework* Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a great piece of writing that really connected for me. Nice work!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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23
23
Review of Prophecy  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi DS

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


*Firework* Positives

I think this is a great first attempt at a prophecy. They can be really tricky to write well, and you did a good job creating a general feeling of importance and mysticism that the reader can latch onto.


*Firework* Suggestions

The only suggestion I have is to add a little more specificity. The first stanza has some particular elements that give it a feeling of something particular coming to pass, but the second stanza is a bit more generic, especially the ending line about something hidden being revealed, which is a bit of a cliche at this point in terms of riddles and puzzles. I would love to see the second stanza have the same particularity as the first stanza.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, I think you did a solid job with this prophecy for your urban fantasy novel. Best of luck with the book! *Smile*


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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24
Review of The coachman  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi Richard Allen

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*Firework* Positives

I enjoyed the atmosphere and the sense of mystery in this story. In just a few short words, you've presented the reader with a mythology, a character, and a vignette that hints at a larger narrative. That's not easy to do in so few words. Nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

TYPO: She rubbed her gloved hands together to warm them...

The story begins with present tense in the first two sentences, and then shifts into past tense. I'd recommend conforming the beginning of the story so that the tense is consistent throughout the piece.

There was a bit of repetition in some of the paragraphs, and I think the story would benefit from a little variety of presentation. For example, the number of times the word "coach" is used in the following paragraph starts to feel really redudant:

“Of course my lady.” the driver said as he climbed off the coach. He opened the coach’s door for the woman to gain access to the coach. She stepped inside the coach. She did not look into his face. He lifted his hat to the lady, as she entered the coach.


By varying the structure of the sentences and not spelling everything out for the reader, you can still get the point across in a more concise, efficient manner. Something like this:

“Of course my lady.” the driver said as he climbed off the coach. He opened the door and she stepped inside. She did not look into his face. He lifted his hat as she entered.


You still get the same message across, but the brevity makes for an easier read. *Smile*


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was an enjoyable read. There's definitely some room for improvement, but conceptually it's really interesting and has a ton of potential. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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25
25
Review of The Library  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Hi Anna

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*Firework* Positives

I really enjoyed the twist at the end of the story. It was surprising and really ended things on a note of suspense and dread. Nice work!


*Firework* Suggestions

The tone of the piece while Sally is in the library feels a bit inconsistent. At times it's very tense and dark, but then there are other moments when the atmosphere seems to dissipate and Sally isn't in any kind of danger, before things ramp up again. I think a consistent throughline of suspense would be really effective.


*Firework* Overall

Overall, this was a fun read. Good job!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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