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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jeff729
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm new at this but promise to be thorough, not overly critical, and above all else supportive.
I'm good at...
Pacing, descriptions, and Humor. (at least I think so) I like poetry but am still learning.
Favorite Genres
fiction (short stories, novels) Comical, dark, Science fiction, fantasy, surreal, Personal stories of real life struggles.
Least Favorite Genres
Cheesy sappy romance, fan fiction, erotica, and Christian stories.
I will not review...
right wing political propaganda. Sappy romance fan fiction
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The ghost  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff729 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey there,

I think we all have some ghosts locked in a trunk somewhere.

This is very relatable to me. The idea of locking away the past is powerful. It's most people's first instinct but doing it can be harmful. It's a great topic for a poem.

What I got from it is the idea of dealing with trauma instead of burying it is a much healthier way to deal with it. I hope that is what you are going for :)

I love how at the end you aren't scared of the trunk, it's a great contrast to the opening where you want it as far away from you as possible.

My only suggestion is - if you want -
this a great topic that you could expand upon. Maybe write more about how the trunk makes you feel.

I'm a terrible poet so take my suggestion with a grain of salt but I can sure relate to the topic.

Overall, i found the poem very powerful, with some great visual elements. I look forward to reading more from you. :)
2
2
Review by Jeff729 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Spud, I'm totally new to this so forgive me if my review comes off as amateurish.

First, I love science fiction and found the topic of your story fascinating. It's something I think a lot of people have thought about, the future of space travel and colonization. It's a big topic, which brings me my first question.

Is this just a small part of a bigger story (an excerpt). You've hit on a lot of interesting topics, all of which could be expanded upon. I reminded me of something by Arthur C Clarke.

I guess what I'm saying is my only real suggestion is I want more. I'm interested in the world you are creating and the potential story.

I look forward to reading more from you.
3
3
Review by Jeff729 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Okay, first thank you very much for reading my Piece and reviewing it. Your review was very helpful.

First I live on The East coast in New England. I have personally battled Seagulls for food. You captured it great. It felt authentic.

I don't like to swim, so not much to say there but I was enjoying what you wrote. Suggestion, maybe elaborate on it more so the reader can really experience it more.

The Gulf of American, is of course very topical. I still call it The Gulf of Mexico myself but you handled a potentially divisive (political topic) well. You kept it lite with some humor. You made some good points, that made me laugh and think.

My only suggestion is that sometimes I was lost as to who was talking. I had to reread some parts a little. This could be me. For some reason I read dialogue quickly.

Overall I enjoyed it. You created an interesting character that I wanted to learn more about. I look forward to reading more from you.
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