*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jengriffin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
307 Public Reviews Given
307 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 ... Next
51
51
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
A fun take on bowling in poem form! Well done! You give very good bowling tips as well. It has been years since I went bowling. Brings back some fun memories. I like that you gave serious bowling tips. I also like the format of your poem. You show the beauty of the game as well as the hardships. Keep up the good work!
52
52
Review of Coyote Waits  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done! I really like the seamless flow between you and the coyote. I can read this many times and get a deeper feel for the many meanings. You, the coyote, traps, being hunted, never giving up. But the reader never quite feels that there is a good ending. There may only be survival. Keep up the good writing!
53
53
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.0)
I do like that quote! Who is it from? Are there more? Your description says quotes plural but there is only the one. Quotes are always a good way to connect with people because they seem to touch something inside that you might not otherwise reach. I hope you add more!
54
54
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
How cool! I like that you included people you could potentially meet as well as those you may not. (Stephen King is on my list too. The closest I have gotten thus far is meeting is wonderful son Joe Hill.) I think we need to make more lists like these to remind us of what is important to us. Thank you!
55
55
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.5)
It sounds like camp was a lot of fun! I really like what you wrote but I do have a few suggestions. When you get to camp the first time you say you had a blast but then go on to explain your first bout of homesickness. Take that out. You don't need to tell us you had a blast. You show us. It feels out of place in the narrative. Also the second sentence in the last paragraph doesn't make sense.
I hope this helps. If you have any questions please let me know. Thanks for sharing! I look forward to reading more!
56
56
Review of Broken  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done! You did a fabulous job of pulling everything together! The characters were not only believable but you cared about them. I like that you had the main character break something every time something happened that was momentous to him. Cleanly put together and a joy to read! I look forward to reading more of your work!
57
57
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done! Very poignant and apropos for everyone right now. It's shortness drives the message home all too clearly. I like the fact that it doesn't rhyme. I think that would detract from the message. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work!
58
58
Review of Stop the Coddling  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.5)
I have to agree with you on all counts. We are too easy on the kids which is why I chose not to have any. Your writing is sound and all I would do is go through and fix basics like using capital letters (Magic Kingdom instead of magic kingdom). Well thought out and presented. Thank you for sharing!
59
59
Review of I love you  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting dialog! A fun way to interpret why we get candy and the various ways we do get candy. I think it is funny how the voice of the box adapts it's words to get the person to do exactly what it wants. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your work!
60
60
Review of Day at the Beach?  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Love this! Just random acts falling together! I keep hearing the Beach Boys singing "Help Me Rhonda" through the whole thing. Lol. I like that Rhonda has a decent head on her shoulders and Frank does too (when he wants to use it). You almost hope that they get away with it in the end.
61
61
Review of Fall Night  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the wording! You can get lost in this (in a good way)! Numerous readings bring out different views and different phrases pull the eye and emotions. Is this only one part of a collection? I see you titled it "Part 1." Well done! I hope to read more of your work!
62
62
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very appropriate now (I notice this was from three years ago). Very fun and light hearted. My only critique would be the second line. Should it be "That sickens my soul"? The flow is smooth and the words pull forth a picture of light and family fun. Thanks for sharing!
63
63
Review of moving day  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so very true! I like the stream of consciousness that you use because it is exactly how one feels after getting to the new place. Almost zombie like by the time all is said and done! Thank you for sharing! I hope to read more of your work!
64
64
Review of m'daddy's stetson  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love sharing others memories! You do a wonderful job of showing not only your Grandpa but your Great Grandpa as well. The reader can feel the history that your Daddy wears with pride. I like the flow as well. It's like being in your head and just following the thoughts as they go by. Thank you!
65
65
Review of Just Me  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like how you come full circle with yourself. The one that needed to be shown was you and you finally saw that you just needed to be you. I like the irregularity of your lines and punctuation. It makes the reader focus on the words and what is being said. You don't get lost in the rhyming. I look forward to reading more of your work!
66
66
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very intense! It's interesting how you go from almost lyrical descriptions (his mother's voice) to simple descriptions and back again. It works. The only suggestion I have is to go through and look for typos. There are only a few. I look forward to reading more of your work! Thank you for sharing!
67
67
Review of Tour de Force  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Interesting! It makes me think of a reading group gone bad as well. I like how you show that the emotions are just as bad as physical war. And that you stay hopeful yet not. The rhyming enhances the reading. I think another style would've not flowed as well. Thank you for sharing! Keep up the good writing!
68
68
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like that your poem included the two descriptive "paragraphs" at the beginning and end. I also enjoyed the style of your poem. It reminded me of some of the King Arthur poetry I've read over the years. Keep up the good writing! I hope to read more soon!
69
69
Review of Family Meeting  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I like that you give us an insight to everyone and what they want versus what others want for them. You give us your view but also include the rest of your family without bias. There is nothing like family! I look forward to reading more of your work!
70
70
Review of Sarcasm for all  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like that you are very to the point. The truth of others can be very different than our own. And a lot more selfish. I'm glad you were able to put atleast some of it into words. I don't know if that helped get rid of some of the poison. I hope so. Thank you for sharing.
71
71
Review of PEARLS OF LOVE  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well done! I am not a poet so forgive my generic comments... I like the old school feel and flow of the poem. You show the in and out of feeling love. Being in love where all you want to do is sleep. And perchance to dream. Thank you for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your work!
72
72
Review of Acquiescence  
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! That is powerful! I like the sparse lines. It makes you read and read and feel and feel. Like a one two punch. You show your strength and determination to not just be in life. You also show the reader that it is possible. It is also visually appealing. The design of words. Thank you!
73
73
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I really enjoyed that! I would break up your writing into smaller paragraphs to help with reading. I like that you gave background on why she acted the way she did. There was some wording issues here and there like "I found myself gazing, staring and glaring at her." I don't think you would be glaring at her because you would be giving her a dirty or a bad look. You can find a word to combine both gazing and staring or just use one of them.
You are doing a really good job going from one language to another. Keep going! I'm looking forward to more!
74
74
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This version has got a much fuller story. There are only a few things I would do. There are a few typos. The other thing is word placement. Sometimes you reverse the order of your words. "Please get me a nice romantic movie that I will pick to watch at my home" is confusing. Is Tonny picking out the movie or does she already have it chosen and he is merely picking it up for her?
I really like what you have done with the story! Well done!
75
75
Review by Jenstrying
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well done! Good flow and you went from past to present and back again very well. Very smooth transition. I really like where this is going and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Sorry I took so long.
153 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 7 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jengriffin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3