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781 Public Reviews Given
786 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to always pick out the positive points in a piece, even if overall I am not enamoured by it. I tend to point out grammatical and spelling errors. I will be honest, but not unkind *Smile*
I'm good at...
Empathising with people, giving my opinion, analysing poetry.
Favorite Genres
Travel, Sci - fi, psychology, opinion, music, horror, gothic food, emotional, death/dark, animal.
Least Favorite Genres
Western/war, Parenting, History, Erotica/Adult
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Flash Fiction, Photos, Articles.
Least Favorite Item Types
Campfire creatives, interactive stories.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

*Earth*This is a review for iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen 's Earth Day Newsfeed Challenge! *Earth*


I thought this was a great story written for the "Earth Day Challenge". I wasn't sure what to make of it straight away as it begins in such a lighthearted and ordinary way but as I read through, I found the concept quite chilling, perhaps what is most chilling is that I can actually imagine something like this happening, the government trying to find some kind of "quick fix" to the problem of global warming and it going disastrously wrong.

Of course, on a more selfish note, as a confirmed sun-worshipper this would be a complete disaster for me! *Shock*

I thought the story was well told, the plot unfolding as you read - first the bit about it snowing at Easter, then the banana which makes you realize this must be set in the future, followed by an explanation of what is going on. It reminded me a bit of "The Day After Tomorrow" which is one of my favourite films.

The story shows what it would be like for young children growing up in such a future and I think the character of Oliver and his behaviour seems realistic. If I had any suggestion, it would be too add more of what Kaya thinks and feels about the situation.

But nevertheless I did enjoy your story - Let's hope it never happens for real! *Smile*

THESE ARE OF COURSE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS - TAKE OR LEAVE WHAT YOU LIKE - WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO WRITE AS WE PLEASE *BIGSMILE*


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Spacecat

I am reviewing this item as part of "The Challenge"  - Day 28 - Review someone who recently reviewed you.

A good and varied collection of images - the ones of Venus are the best! You should do more like that, maybe with the other cats?

Also, I don't know if you know, but you can upload your cover photos straight from your PC to the static item, you don't need to upload them as image items first (if you didn't want to).

This is my last challenge ha ha!!! *Delight*
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Review of "Sea Moods"  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello GerMac

I am reviewing this poem as part of "The Challenge"  - Day 27 - "Review someone who recently reviewed you" and in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

I chose this poem to read because I love the Ocean! *Smile*

I really like your poem and the way you have looked at the Ocean in two different lights. I think you have truly captured the way it can appear on these two very different days - one bright and sunny, the other dark and moody. Your description and imagery is very vivid and I feel like I can picture the scene perfectly.

I prefer the first verse to the second, although that is probably due to my darker nature *Smirk*.

My favourite part is:

"I pause to ponder
The sea's tale of woe,
Not a soul in sight,
Not even a seagull."

I can imagine the writer standing on the deserted beach with the grey sky overhead and the sea, dragging in its sorrows....

I'm not sure that all the commas are needed - there seem to be a lot of commas! Although I am no expert in punctuation to be fair.

The only line I am not too sure of is

"Optimism spoke happily,"

Something about it does not quite fit for me - I am not sure how optimism speaks.

But I'm just being a bit picky there, in general I really liked it *Smile* *Wave1* *Wave2* *Wave3* *Wave4*

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Review of Until We Met  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jessie's Girl

I am reviewing this item for "The Challenge"  - Day one "Review something in the romance genre".

These are my personal thoughts and opinions about your poem *Smile*

Theme

Your theme of romance is of course a popular one and a good thing to write about as it is something which most people can relate to or have related to at some point in their life. The poem is quite straight forward and describes the feelings of loneliness and emptiness before meeting a lover or partner and then then the feelings of happiness and well being afterwards.

Form/Rhythm/Rhyme

You have gone for a free form poem and I think this works quite well as I like free form poetry. You have used similar refrains - "until we met", "Since we met" etc through the poem which I think works well.

Emotion

The poem to me is slightly lacking in a particular level of emotion and as I read through it, although I am reading the words, I am not really feeling the two extreme emotions of the writer portrayed.

Imagery

I think you have some good imagery here such as the World being colourful/colourless (I'm English sorry, English spelling *Bigsmile*)you could probably add a bit more imagery here to make the emotions of the writer stand out.

Suggestions

I get your subject and what you are saying, although it reads a little flat, as though it is lacking in emotion - in order to make it stand out a bit more to someone reading it and connect with the emotions I would maybe recommend adding a bit more metaphor or coming up with some imagery which is away from the typical "grass is greener" "Sky is grey" kind of thing - for example something which is a bit more personal or moving between these two characters.

That isn't me saying there is anything wrong with what you have written, but you could add to it to make it more powerful *Smile*

Conclusion

I think this is a pleasant poem detailing the emotions one feels when meeting someone romantically. I like the free form and the last line "I am home, now that we've met" - I think this is a good ending. However, I would liven it up with a bit more vivid imagery or metaphor to make it more "exciting" *Smile*

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Review of In Transit  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Logan

I am reviewing this item as part of "The Challenge"  - day 25 "Review something in the Transportation genre"

These are my personal thoughts and opinions on your poem *Smile*

Title

I like the title of this poem and what it represents here - describing both the actual state of being on a bus going from one place to another - therefore being "in transit" and also being between two places in one's life.

Theme

In the poem, the writer speaks about what I presume is a past lover or failed relationship. At the start, I thought this could perhaps be about a person who has passed away but the last few lines don't fit in with this. The writer uses the analogy of passing by a stop on a bus to looking back at this past relationship and I think this works well (at least, this is how I interpret it!)

Rhyme/Flow

The poem flows well and the rhymes mostly fit or are near rhymes which I think usually work just as well

Imagery

The images in this poem are centered around the same theme - the ghost at the bus stop. They could perhaps be a bit more varied, or added to, although I think your imagery is effective here and makes the desired point.

Emotion

The emotion in this poem seems to me sadness and regret but it doesn't scream out a particularly intense emotion, as though the writer has become rather weary of these feelings.

Suggestions

Personally, I would separate it in to 4 verses of 4 lines each - I think it would be more accessible to read that way, as I started reading it like a free form poem and then realized it had an AB-AB rhyming scheme.

Conclusion

I liked this poem and especially the idea behind it. I thought it was easy to connect with the emotions in the poem and similar experiences. My favourite line is:

"The ghost of you just stood and stared
Frozen in a rhyme"

as I like the image and description *Smile*

In some ways, I think the poem could my a bit more "emotional" but then perhaps that is the point the writer is making: he is moving on in time and emotions, just like the bus moves on.....

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Review of Dear Me (2015)  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk

I am reviewing this item as part of "The Challenge"  - Day 15, review a senior moderator.

I found your "Dear Me" letter highly amusing and imaginative and your use of the English language here is fantastic. Over my years on WDC, I have come across many of these "Dear me" letters and often find them quite tedious and stereotypical but yours really stands out from the norm *Smile*.

I loved the idea behind the letter of the lawyer liaising between the me and the myself! *Laugh* and you have executed it really well - I especially like the way you have put the numbers in brackets.

By the way, you are so lucky that your apartment complex and your office has a gym - I have to cycle out in the freezing cold to get to my gym! I'd love to have a gym at home, I'd be in there every other day.

I am interested, anyway to learn whether "me" upheld his end of the bargain - or is Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk now seeking legal action? *Laugh* *Laugh* *Laugh*

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for entry "I Am Prosperous Snow" 
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

I am reviewing this item for "Invalid Item" 

I enjoyed reading about your username and handle and found it an interesting fact about you *Smile*. Having seen you around on writing.com in various groups and challenges over the last few years, I have often wondered about your name as I do with many other members - I find it quite interesting how people choose their WDC names - some of them I think sound great and others I think sound quite odd and don't really get them! Your falls in to the former category you will be glad to know.

I think "Neva" is a lovely name and I did not know it meant "Snow" Does "Darbe" really mean "bum" - ha ha, that made me laugh.

You say you enjoy writing "off the wall" Christmas poems - I have noticed this reading some of your entries in wreck the halls! I thought that was a fun contest.

I wish you happy holidays and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY for Wednesday too Neva! *Heart*


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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Very well written Spacecat with a message I agree with entirely *Smile*

Sometimes the things you write can irritate me ha ha but I thought this was both funny and sad.

I especially liked the bit about your Dad reading the labels without his glasses.....hmmmm who does that remind me of? *Laugh*

Suggestions - "Waking" should start with a capital. I'm pretty sure "Mum" and Dad" should also be written with capitals but then you are usually better at grammar than I. Not sure about using the..... so much - I don't think you probably need it.

Glad you entered "Invalid Item"  cos it's so cool! *Cool*
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello 💙 Carly

I am reviewing this item for "I Write in August-September-October" 

These are my personal thoughts and opinions about your poem.

Theme

The task here is to write about gratitude but without mentioning the word, therefore the theme of the poem seems to be about being thankful and grateful for what the writer - or us, as a whole actually have rather than looking at the negative things in life.


Emotion

The emotion in this poem is definitely happy, positive, joyous and light hearted. The writer is describing what they are grateful for and the poem almost seems an over exaggeration of the "grateful" emotions one would normally feel - like the things we would feel in a perfect World.


Rhythm/Rhyme/Flow

I found the first part of the poem to have a really good flow to it and it reads quite easily although from "Heaven winks" I found the flow to be a bit stilted. The Abab rhyming scheme is consistent throughout.


What I liked

I thought this was a very good attempt at answering the prompt which I think personally was a hard task! I think you made a good job of that. The first part of the poem, as I have mentioned, rhymes and flows well.


Suggestions

"Breath in and stretch" - I think you mean "BREATHE" in?


Conclusion

I'm a bit torn with the poem as I feel that I don't relate to it much at all. To me it kind of reads like something people who don't suffer from depression would tell those who do - "Chin up, smile, be happy, count your blessings!" etc etc. On the other hand, I am aware that the point of the poem is to describe the word "Gratitude" and therefore does not necessarily depict your personal feelings and emotions. So, whilst I cannot necessarily relate to the poem at all, I think you have answered the prompt well and it is a fairly well written poem, although the flow does become a little sketchy towards the end.

I wish you luck in the contest you have entered *Smile**Heart*


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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jen~

This is a review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

I chose your poem from the "Read a Newbie page" as the pretty cover photo stood out *Smile*

Here are my thoughts about your poem:

Theme

The theme here is one often written about in poetry and lends itself well to poetic verse - that of loss and love. At first in the poem, I thought this was about a broken relationship but having read through to the end, I believe it is more about a loved one who has passed away.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Form

I thought the rhymes in your poem were pretty spot on *Smile* although the flow in some places seems a little stilted as there seem to be more syllables in one line than the other - for example here:

"I would cherish every second, of another chance to be with you
Seeing you just one more time, would be a dream come true"

I would swap the word "another" for just "a" in order to make the lines more even (I do see why you have said "another" however. *Smile*)

What I liked

I thought the poem was very sincere and from the heart - it really describes the emotions of the writer and has an edge of quiet desperation to it. My favourite line is probably the last:

"You are gone but not forgotten, in my heart is where you stay
If I had 15 minutes with you, it would be a blessed day

which I think ties up the poem nicely. Your opening line is also very good and works well.

Suggestions

"I just couldn't stop the pain or tears, no matter what I try"

Although this line rhymes, it is grammatically incorrect - personally I use a lot of "near rhymes" and don't have a problem with them, so I would have written "tried" instead of "try" but if you don't like near rhymes, it may be worth trying to think of something else, just so the sentence sounds correct *Smile*

"I know your looking over us," = "You're" not "your"

I think your poem is very poignant and shows some true emotion. It rhymes well and I like the layout but there were a few places in which it did not quite work for me as the reader. I wish you luck in the contest you entered. These are of course my personal opinions - please feel free to take or leave them! *Heart*

Signature won in an auction :)


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In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Pat ~ Rejoice always!

I am reviewing this item for "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" 


Idea

A wonderful idea - a birthday auction coupled with a guessing game! Whilst I am not a MASSIVE ice cream fan....reading through all those flavours does make me a little hungry hee hee *Pthb*


Layout

I love the layout which is so bright and colourful and a pleasure to read! The "skip directly to posts" link is handy as otherwise there would be so much to scroll through! I like the way you have separated the package descriptions with the ice creams and candles - it makes it very clear to see which is which *Smile*. It really feels like a birthday activity!

Prizes/Packages

There are so many different packages for this - there really is something for everyone and for every GP budget!

Suggestions

My only suggestion is maybe to make the guessing game part of it a bit more obvious as it seems a bit hidden - I'm wondering if some people not familiar with the activity would miss that it's there *Sad* - and it's such a cool part of the activity I think it deserves a bigger slot on the main page!

I am enclosing my donation for the activity!

*Heart*

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Review of 15 Finger Frenzy!  
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello ♥Hooves♥

This is a review for "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" 

IDEA

What I like about the idea (apart from the cool prizes) is that the entry requirements are very general - Reviews affiliated with any group mean you can do them for another activity AND be counted for this one (Which I am doing hee hee) - Also, it's nice to see an activity plugging the product reviews other than "Angel Product Reviews" itself PLUS it gets people doing nice things for each other around the site - all in all - WDC love! *Heart*


LAYOUT

Your activity has one of the best layouts of ALL the birthday activities I have looked at, I have to say! I love the way you have used lots of different fonts and all the pics of the various "Things" *Laugh* It made me smile whilst reading through it - I especially like the "clean thing" and "smooth thing" soap and moisturizer!! (As I am a bit OCD about showering...*RollEyes*)*StarStruck* It made me want to take part as I was reading through.

PRIZES

33 chances to win a prize?! *Shock* Amazing! *Stary*

WHAT I LIKED

- Loads of chances to win prizes
- Fab and funny Thing pictures
- Not tied to reviewing or writing specific things (no pun intended *Blush*)
- Get a lovely MB if you donate!
- Gets people doing different activities around the site
- Plugs product reviews

*Smile*

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In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a review for

"Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" 

Idea

What I like about this idea is that the prompts are very open - a picture and that is all. It allows the writer to come from many different angles, writing in any genre *Smile*. I like the name "Short Shots" which is very appropriate *Smile*

Layout

The page is well laid out, clearly stating the rules and the picture is a good size - you can clearly view the content.

Prizes

The prizes are clearly awesome for this activity and make it well worth entering! Even the third prize is an amazing one *Shock*. Fantastic! *Dollar*

What I liked

I like the fact that the word count isn't too daunting - up to 2000 words indicates it's fine if it is a Flash Fiction story *Smile*. I have seen a few of the picture prompts for this contest and they are pretty varied and usually something I could get inspiration from.

Suggestions

I think I understand why it is done in this way (The Survey Format) - although personally I would like to know how many other people had entered and what kind of competition I was up against! So I would prefer it as a message forum *Wink*

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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ~WhoMe???~

I am reviewing this poem as part of the "Game of Thrones"  review raid #4!

I chose this poem because of the intriguing title - I was curious as to know what the challenge was!

Theme/subject

The poem seems to me one of a moralistic nature - it carries a message - let us all spread a bit of kindness to one another as we go about our every day lives. This of course is not a bad idea, because we perhaps SHOULD all be a bit nicer to each other - and like you say, we all have things which affect our lives which might not be known to others. Personally I am not sure a smile from a stranger would have much of an impact on me - in fact, I'm terrible for that, I purposely never meet people's eye if I'm walking through the corridors at work or out and about etc! I hate that weird moment when you catch someone's eye and feel you have to smile at them awkwardly lol! *Wink*. But I get the sentiment - spread a little kindness to those around you *Smile*.

Flow/Rhyme

The poem rhymes well but I don't think it flows quite as well as your other poems I have read, especially in the middle three verses. It may be just how I'm reading them! But there seem to be excess syllables in some of the lines here.

Favourite bits

My favourite verse was the last, which I think flows the best and I think delivers the message of your poem clearly *Smile*

Conclusion

An interesting poem although possibly not something I can relate to! I was a little confused by the reference to religion? The idea behind the poem is sentimental but it's a good kind of sentiment!

Jellyfish sig

House Hightower image for G.o.T.




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Review of Tulips  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello ~WhoMe???~

I am reviewing this poem as part of the "Game of Thrones"  review raid #4!

I chose to read this poem as tulips are my favourite flower *Smile* *Tulipp*

Content

The poem may only be tiny, but sometimes I think a few words can say a lot - and your poem here is a good example of one of these times! The poem seems to have several themes - the birth of spring, the writers love of flowers, especially tulips and the comparison of art to nature.


Flow and writing style

The poem flows very well and rhymes perfectly.


Imagery

I found the poem to be clever, because even though it is only a few lines long, it conjures up very specific images in my mind - I can see those little shoots pushing up through the crisp white snow and the days slowly get longer as the outside world becomes greener. I can see those tulips lined up like soldiers - all the different colours - red, yellow, pink, orange. You might not have written all those details, but your poem makes me see them, between the lines, in my own head *Wink*


Conclusion

I thought this might be a bit of a challenge to write a review of this over 1000 characters! But as I read it and liked it so much, I wanted to review it. I am not normally a huge fan of haikus or other very short poems, as I often think that they seem unfinished - more like a lone verse rather than a poem in itself - but I think you have nailed it here! The poem made me*Smile*!!

Jellyfish sig

House Hightower image for G.o.T.


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Review of Do Not Enter  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ~WhoMe???~

I am reviewing this poem as part of the "Game of Thrones"  review raid #4!

I chose to read this poem, perhaps as the title was warning me not to!(reverse psychology...)I also like to read emotional poetry with a dark edge. I am not sure I would rate it "E" - as it seems to deal with more adult emotions and experiences.

Theme/Subject

I liked your poem straight away, perhaps because I felt I could relate to it, whether it is written about depression, a low mood of some sort or in connection with a bad experience.

Writing Style

I like the way you have written the poem in an almost "old fashioned" style. I think it adds to the dark nature of the poem. It is easy to read and flows well through your mind as you read it. Definitely a well written poem *Smile*

Imagery

The imagery throughout the poem is dark and vivid - the demons, the dungeons, the dark. These metaphors and descriptions describe quite clearly how the writer is feeling here.

Favourite bits

My favourite verse is the third and in particular the lines -

"Look here not to spread sunshine;
Nor spirits here to lift."

People are always trying to do/say things to make you feel better when you suffer from depression, naively thinking it is that simple - and this line captures the response to this perfectly (in my opinion)- sometimes you just don't want/need those little "gems" of positivity trying to lift your spirits....

Suggestions

In this line-

"Skeletons in closets lay"

I would write "lie" instead of "lay" as the rest of the poem seems to be in present tense.

I thought this was a really good poem and felt a connection to it. It shows a lot of emotion, but hides it well with metaphor to prevent it from being too blatant.

Jellyfish sig

Image #2039493 over display limit. -?-





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67
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello P.J.Gray

I am reviewing this story as part of the "Game of Thrones" surprise review raid!

You have stated that the story is still in it's draft stages and a work in progress and that does come across whilst reading it. There are a few typos and mistakes which you would probably pick up if you were to re - read and edit it at it's next "draft" stage. It also seems to end in the middle of the story - as though you have not written the conclusion yet.

Because of this the ratings may not be a true reflection of what they may have been, had the story been finished. I appreciate that you may have your own reasons for posting the unfinished article but personally I would keep it for private view until it is finished *Smile*.

Title

I think your title sounds interesting and quite exciting although the story does not seem to explain much about the ghost or the reference to "Shangradi", apart from this being the name of the tomb - I am guessing this is something you are planning to include later on.

Storyline

I have to say, I found the plot pretty confusing. We start off with Terry encountering a ghost in the tomb and then flash back to a story about his childhood which seems a bit disjointed from the main story. He then comes across another ghost who gives him ambiguous messages about him not being able to change things outside his control and after this stops abruptly mid conversation with a friend. I get the slight feeling that you have a plot formed in your mind but have not got it all out on paper (or screen) yet - which of course goes with your saying it is a work in progress.

Writing Style

What I think is good about your writing here is your descriptive style - you have got a lot of information in your story which allows the reader to picture the scenes and you describe Terry's feelings throughout the story.

You obviously have a good idea here for an interesting ghost story and a main character with a decided background and history. Personally, I would have liked to know a few more details like - why was in in the cave? What is Shangradi? Who are these ghosts? What is it he is trying to change? What is the relevence of the story of his past and so on.

Please note that these are only my personal opinions so please feel free to take and discard them as you see fit! *Smile*

House Hightower image for G.o.T.


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68
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello PandaPaws Licensed VetTech



*Boat2*Title*Boat2*

The title "The Light -Keepers Despair" makes this sound like quite a traditional poem to me. Also, the word "Despair" indicated that this is quite a dark poem, or a poem with an unhappy ending - quite fitting of course to the poem itself. I like the darker side of poetry and it is probably that, coupled with my love of the ocean that drew me to read this poem.

*Boat2*Theme/subject*Boat2*

The poem could be read on two levels - it's main subject is not hidden and is straightforward to comprehend - a lighthouse man, unhappy and lonely on his island one night takes his own life, casting his body from the tower to the sea. Afterwards a new lighthouse man arrives to take his place, and the story - though unwritten here, begins again. However, the man could be seen as a metaphor for someone else and the writer could be referring to their own thoughts of loneliness and despair, as though they FEEL like they are on an island - that could be me reading too much in to it though *Wink*

*Boat2*Flow/Rhyme*Boat2*

The poem is written in free form and does not have a rhyming scheme. As you have pointed out, it's prose more than poetry and fits the description of prose. Personally I never think prose flows as well as poetry but I did enjoy reading your text and I like the way you have laid it out in verses.

*Boat2*Imagery*Boat2*

My favourite thing about your poem is the imagery which is very vivid and powerful - Straight away I can picture the scene - the lighthouse and its keeper alone in the dark night. I especially like the way you have described the waves that "barely lick the shore" and the creatures of the beach being the only ones around to provide him with company. I also like the imagery in the last verse, the ship approaching with a new lighthouse keeper and the last, haunting image of that beacon of light......

*Boat2*Mood/Emotion*Boat2*

The poem has a very dark and brooding tone to it, full of foreboding - perhaps just like the cold night it describes. I feel afraid for the man when reading it and can empathize with his thoughts and feelings, which is a sign of good writing, when you can make your reader feel something for the character/s in you poem *Smile*. The poem has a desperate tone to it, mimicking the desperation in the man himself.

*Boat2*In conclusion*Boat2*

I really enjoyed the theme in this poem and the story told. I think you conveyed the mans emotions very well and painted a picture of his life, and his death - the line "Just his stains upon the rocks below" is a strong line and a little eerie. I particularly like the ending to the poem - as though all of a sudden the man's life and emotions become nothing, once he is dead. A ship brings a new man and the original one is forgotten. However, the last line indicates that the story could be starting all over again......

Please note these are my personal opinions and feelings about your poem - feel free to accept and discard what you like *Smile*


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69
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello WritingNoob14

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I thought this was a very good attempt at a flash fiction story - It's hard to tell a story in just 100 words!

I thought your description here was very vivid - straight away it reminded me of RPG games like Final Fantasy or the old TV Show "Knightmare" which was kind of like a real life version of an RPG I suppose! You are probably too young to remember it *Wink* but maybe you have seen a re-run.

Anyway, I felt that I could really picture the scene with the wizard creating his magic and the demon fireplace.

It also sounded quite dramatic, even though it was over so quickly! I found myself wanting to know more - but I think it still works as flash fiction.

It would be interesting to know what contest it was for - it might be worth posting the link just so people can see why you have written it as such a short story *Smile*

Image #1926571 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello lizco252

I found your item looking for things to review via "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" 

Well, actually, that is kind of a lie, because I have already seen this on the WDC Activity page - but, you know what I mean! *Laugh*

TITLE

"The Soundtrack to Your Life Challenge" - it's a great title and describes the event before you have even clicked on to it - It's about music and it's about music which you relate to your life! Plus the title makes it sound like a challenge, and one you want to beat! *Smile*

IDEA

I really love this idea for an activity. Of course, many people are in to music and I find that creative people - such as the majority of people on WDC are especially so. Perhaps because music and creativity go hand in hand? I don't know. But I find this a great concept and to be honest, it is something I do anyway - I guess you probably do it too - I mean, have songs which remind you of a particular time or instance in your life and when you hear the song, you see in your mind's eye a kind of music video playing out depicting your life events to the lyrics....no? Well maybe it's just me *Laugh*

LAYOUT

Your activity is really well laid out, with the colours and the typeface etc. Personally I like the central allignment, I find this easier to read and take in the information. I like the little music note icons. Sometimes I find that activities are described with reams and reams of material and I get bored after the first couple of paragraphs without really knowing what the activity is about! Yours is quite concise and I think this is effective. *Smile*

RULES

I think your rules are very clear and I like the idea that participants can use a theme. That is also interesting about embedding a YOUTUBE video - is that how people do this in Newsfeed? I wondered how they did it! *Laugh* I may be a writer but I'm no technical genius. It's taken me all my time to figure out Writing ML over the last 2 years......*Facepalm*

PRIZES

Brilliant prizes offered! I like the fact you have offered a secondary prize for those who don't post every day but still do a good job! *Smile*


SO - Why did I not sign up to take part you ask? Since I seem to love the idea so much! *Laugh* Unfortunately February isn't a good month for me to do something like this and I will be away on holiday (Yep, you guessed it - in Egypt!) from 3rd - 13th but I will look out in case you do another one in the future *Cool*

In the meantime, I hope you will accept this nice review and some GP's towards your prize fund *Heart*

** Image ID #1833149 Unavailable **
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Magicmama

I found your item looking for things to review via the "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" 

I chose this particular item to read because of the title - "First day in Britain" - as a British person it interested me to know what someone else's first impressions of my Country would be! *Smile*

As you have said that this is a biography, I am presuming it was a true account of events which your father told you of and you subsequently wrote down. If so - what an impressive story to tell! It really made a bit of a shiver run down my spine when I got to the end and read how a random act of fate had saved your father.

I thought your short story was well written with illustrative description - I could picture the boat with all the soldiers on as it arrived in London and your father's dismay at losing his roll of essential items.

I liked the connection between the soldier and the shopkeeper - however, I'm not too sure a British person would say "Hello Yank" !! *Shock* but maybe they did in the 1940's. Also, I see that you have written the shopkeeper's lines in colloquial speak - I have to point out that "Come on" in a London accent would be more pronounced "c'am on" rather than "comb on"! Also the word "That" would more be pronounced "Fhat" - as Cockney's tend to drop their "T"'s for an "F" sound eg "I Fink" instead of "I think" *Smile*. The rest of it sounds fairly accurate though *Smile*.

I thought this was a fascinating story and enjoyed reading it - I would have liked to know a bit more, for example about the character and the life of Private Wolfe and perhaps what happened to him afterwards - maybe this is coming in another installment!?

Please note that these are only my personal opinions and feel free to take or leave them as you wish *Smile*

** Image ID #1833149 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Osirantinous

I came across your item looking for things to review via the "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" 

To be honest, this was one of the first things I saw when I arrived at your portfolio and when I saw the word "Symposium", my intrigue just had to click on it!

Now, I suppose this is a bit off - topic in terms of your item, but I love the Symposium. It's probably my favourite thing in which to participate on WDC (If you are reading this btw Patrick whilst perusing the reviewing page I'm not just saying that to get extra credits!! *Pthb* *Wink* ) It's right up my street - I suppose i love the idea that you can work towards something over a long period of time. I love all the little icons you can obtain by reviewing or answering topics and so on (Though I do sulk when I don't win one, like the tree hee hee. I REALLY wanted a tree....) I love (most of) the topics and the chats you can have with people about them once they are published. I love collecting Symposium merit badges. Anyway, you get my point, and I figure you share in this love *Smile* *Heart*.

So the first thing I felt when I read your item was jealousy *Envy* - I wish I was one of the original participants who had done every topic! I can't even say I've answered them all since I started (which I believe was topic four) because I missed one when I was on holiday one time (very fitting to my stereotype I think you would agree....). I'm quite impressed with you guys who have answered every topic, I have to say *Cool*

Anyway, being such a Symposium fan I found this interesting to read and to see who the original participants were. I also liked your funny quips on the ones who have "dropped out" of their perfect participation *Wink*. I think it's awesome you are offering such great prizes to the participants (*Envy*ous again) and I'm glad I have come across this because I have added it as a favourite so I can keep track of you guys!

I have a couple of suggestions for your forum - but please feel free to ignore them if you wish! It might be a good idea to include a bit more of a description as to what the Symposium is, for members not familiar with it (I know you have included a link but not everyone will click on a link).

Also, your forum talks of topic 18 but we are now on topic 32!! I guess that this was up to date when you created the item but It might be cool to update it with the current topic? Just a thought anyway *Smile*

I enjoyed reading this, and I guess I will see you in Symposium City Hall! *Laugh* *Cool*

** Image ID #1833149 Unavailable **


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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Patrece ~

I found your item through the "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"  page and thought it sounded interesting!

*Dog2* Title *Dog1*

I thought the title, whilst being quite intriguing was a little long winded for the poem - it did sound a bit more like the title of an explanatory essay! However, I am guessing you may have done this with intent, perhaps to be humorous in line with the poem.

*Dog2* Theme/Subject *Dog1*

The subject is one which I am sure anyone who has a dog or whoever has had one, or indeed been around dogs can relate to - the way they always stare at you with their (literally) puppy dog eyes whilst you are eating, hoping that they will get a bit if they stare hard enough! I think you have captured this well in your poem. *Smile*

*Dog2* Flow/Rhyme *Dog1*

I thought that the poem flowed very well with a light, bouncy kind of tone which made it easy and pleasing to read. The rhymes were also almost perfect with the 1st and 3rd and the 2nd and 4th lines rhyming - except in this verse:

"I ate what I was able,
Saved the rest for him.
Then the critter realized,
That the outcome wasn't grim.

In this verse, able and realized do not rhyme! I am not sure if this is intentional but it just stands out because all the other verses do rhyme in the same way so it reads a little awkwardly to me.

*Dog2* What I liked *Dog1*

I really liked the lighthearted and humorous tone to this poem and it made me smile at the end. It is kind of sentimental without being soppy which I think draws a good balance. I thought the imagery of the puppy and his behaviors was very realistic and vivid, allowing me as the reader to imagine him clearly.

*Dog2* Suggestions *Dog1*

The only line I was not too sure about is:

"Then he started digging,
So afraid my food I'd hide."

Although I can see the words fit in with the rhyming scheme, I am not sure why the puppy would be digging if he was concerned about the potential meal within the house? Would he not be scratching at the door, whining or barking or something? I'm not an expert on dogs though and I've never had a puppy (our dogs were always rescue dogs) so perhaps this is something they do?!

I can see you have bolded some of the words in the poem - is there any reason for this? I am guessing they were prompt words in a competition which if so, it may be worth adding a note just to avoid confusion! *Smile*

"My only hope was he'd lick up.
The mess I would not treasure!."

In this line, I don't think there should be a full stop after "lick up" as this seems to be all one sentence. Also, you have an exclamation mark and a full stop at the end.


*Dog2* Conclusion *Dog1*

I thought this was a fun poem to read which would appeal to both adults and children. The puppy was well portrayed and the poem flowed well throughout.

Please note these are just my personal thoughts and opinions - feel free to disregard what you like!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem this evening *Smile*

SAJ Cats and Umbrellas donated by Missy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Angels in my Ear

I came across your poem looking for things to review in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" . I chose this poem because I thought the description, and the title image looked interesting!

Title

To be honest I probably would have called this poem just "My Shadow" - as I am not quite sure where the design bit fits in - I suppose that is me being a bit pedantic and I do like short self - explanatory titles! The description however was interesting and did draw me in.

Theme/Subject

The poem to me seems to be about mental/emotional illness - although in actual fact I suppose it could be about any kind of illness - and the hold this illness has over a person and their life.

Flow

The poem flows almost perfectly and this makes it a real pleasure to read! *Delight* - the one line I feel is an exception is :

But when illness strikes me - because it has 6 syllables instead of 7.

Imagery

I love the imagery in this piece - for me, this is what really makes this a beautiful poem and what stands out. The idea of the person becoming their own shadow - I think this is a great metaphor, and true in a way, if this IS about depression. I love the last lines:

"I have become my shadow;
my shadow's become me.

These are haunting lines! A powerful image which stays in your mind.....

Rhyme

I thought the poem had a perfect rhyming scheme - ABCB? I am never to great at naming these things!

Mood/Emotion

This poem seems to be written in a light-hearted manner, but with a dark undertone....I like that in a poem *Smile*

In Conclusion

I really enjoyed reading this poem, which I think shows your talent as a writer *Smile*. I felt it carried a message I could kind of relate to.....

SAJ Cats and Umbrellas donated by Missy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Oops!  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Lynda Miller

I came across this item looking for things to review from the "Showering Acts of Joy Garden" . I chose this item as it was recently written and I thought the description looked interesting!

Title

The title "Oops!" obviously signifies that this story is about an error/mistake/accident of some kind although it is rather ambiguous and does not give much away! It made me curious as to what the story was about, along with the description.

Characters

I liked the fact you had several characters in your story who were all away on a short holiday together. Although we don't get much background or information on most of the characters - apart from the one who is pregnant and the one who is an architect - probably due to the very short length of this story - I thought that you gave a good impression of them being a group of close friends by their interactions with one another.


Plot

The plot of the story seems a little hazy at first as the group of women go to the spa and so on but at the end it all comes together with a funny twist - and a bit of a moral to boot!


Description

There is very little description in the story as it is nearly all dialogue. I quite like to read a lot of dialogue in stories although felt a little more description with it could have been beneficial here - for example, the surroundings, what they look like and are wearing for example.


What I Liked

A few years ago I was on holiday in Turkey with a (platonic) male friend. As it was so hot, I was wearing just a bikini top and a skirt in the evenings - one evening we were looking at a menu outside a restaurant and got chatting with one of the waiters - keen to practice his English after we had chatted about the weather/the food and so on, the waiter pointed to my exposed stomach and gestured to us both happily saying "You have baby?" Without skipping a beat I laughed and said "No, I'm just fat!" The poor guy didn't know what to say - although we did go back and eat in his restaurant! Anyway, your story made me think of that time - which my friend and I still laugh about! *Wink*


Suggestions

These were just some things which jumped out at me as I read the story -

"Hi Dawn, hey Mary, how are you?" Dawn asked

Dawn is asking the question here but she is asking it to Dawn - I am guessing one of these names is wrong! *Wink*

"Mam, please come with me," another attendant said to Jean.

Should this be "Madam" ? Mam is a slang word for "Mum" in the UK, but maybe elsewhere this is used differently?

It wasn't long when Jean became uncomfortable.

I think this would sound better as "It wasn't long BEFORE Jean became uncomfortable"

"Yeah, I din't like the way it was making me feel," Jean replied.

This is probably a typo but "didn't" not "din't"

Feel horrible and embarrassed, absolutely.

The story is written in the past tense so I think this should read FELT horrible.

Conclusion

I thought this was a funny and light hearted story and I liked the setting of the casino/spa - both places I am a fan of! and the interaction between the characters. However, I did feel that the lack of description meant that the story did not flow as well as it perhaps could have - although appreciate that you may have purposely written mostly dialogue.

Please note these are only my personal thoughts and opinions!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your story *Smile* *Heart*

SAJ Cats and Umbrellas donated by Missy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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