This is horrible!!! .. Just kidding. I only read the first few paragraphs cause I'm lazy and will read it better tomorrow or sometime but anyway, so far I'm really liking your narration. The characterization is strong and clever. There might be a few grammatical errors but those are much easier to fix. ;) It's pretty obvious from merely reading a few paragraphs that you're smart. Something I lack in my own writing. :P
Everyone loves a good story that is a twist on a fairy tale. This is an interesting one that I've never seen before. I liked it but I'm not sure if the whole Snow White as a lover's child was part of the original tale or not. If not, it was a great idea to show why and how much The Queen really hated the child. I have a couple of suggestions for this piece. The time passing by seemed to jump and skip a bit and it could be made clearer. Also the first part the pronouns got me a little confused about who she was talking about. A little ironing out of the narrations would help as well to make it flow better. I loved the twist at the ending of this tale since it wasn't one I'd ever thought about.
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