On my first reading of this poem, I was unclear if you were talking about the birth of the subject or the subject's mother (the big bird or the little bird).
I read again and still wasn't sure but assumed that by the line...no chirps, no chitters, no sound..." you are indicating the death of the subject. But again, I am assuming.
However, when I read it as if the mother has died it makes more sense for me. It sounds to me like a young child wondering around in the snow, looking for its mother and the mother has died. The "tiny tracks" among the feathers are the tracks of the child wondering among the carnage of his mother's death scene.
In spite of not being sure of meaning, I did like some of the language especially the imagery of the feathers as in:
"Only wings of white surround her" and
"...among the scattering of feathers, only her tiny tracks remain."
First let me say this was an amusing take on cycling. I had no idea!
And now, in my humble opinion...
I think this piece could be pumped up a bit with a few changes in words and wording.
In the last line of first paragraph, consider this...
change "...when car meets bicycle." to "...when motorists meets cyclist." This, to me accentuates the big guy picking on the little guy (engines vs pedals)that I think is the whole point here.
Second paragraph: "Mine is recent, most odd, and ignited my ink to boiling"
I love the "ignited my ink", but I think "most odd" is unnecessary and takes away from this strong point.
Third Paragraph: "Masquerading" is used twice back to back. Maybe the second "masquerading" could be replaced with another word like "camoflauged." The bit about Pavlov's dogs works very well.
Fourth paragraph: the bit about "...hunting down her nest and destroying her eggs" works well with the preceding "hands around her throat" to express just how angry you were. Because, just as you said you remained "composed" during the incident, you seem composed when expressing it here. The above mentioned lets us peep beneath that composure and feel that you were pretty pissed! actually. Also, you expressed it in a humorous way.
Paragraph 6: You put quotations around "Outspokin." I assumed it was because you were making a play on the subject being about bicycles and the fact that bicycles have "spokes." If so, I think this should be more deliberately done and written as
"Out-spoke-in'" cuz I think that's pretty clever. If that's not what you were trying to do, then maybe consider doing it.
Kelsey: you made me laugh out loud and I even read it to my room mate who was wondering what I was laughing at. Your timing with humor is excellent. Great story.
Favorite Line: ..."those people who are hard to be around, but easy to love."
An absolutely wonderful story. I'm glad you wrote about Frank and shared it here.
One criticism...the line about the birth of your daughter and Kennedy's assassination sounds as if you had gone to the hospital for the birth of your daughter AND Kennedy's assassination. It might read better...
"That was on November 21, 1963 for the birth of my daughter -- the historical date of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy."
Other than that you presented a great interpretation of a very interesting life.
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