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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joylife1951
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262 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your boyfriend. Sorry, for your loss and the pain you must be feeling. July 23 my cousin died from brain cancer. If writing helps you with your grief share on this site. Keep writing if possible.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for your article on meditation. I enjoyed and could relate so well with the wandering mind. Your writing is great and made for a fun read. Checked your portfolio and plan to read Mothers and Daughters. Didn't see any mistakes in your writing and look forward to reading your other story. Keep writing and enjoy the journey!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem is a delight to read whether silently or out loud. The major syllable pattern that dominates your poem is 8/6. This works well and gives it a rhythm that is fun to read. The words dance off your tongue and makes you want to read it again. Have a Good Day!
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Review of Ponderings  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Tiffers Thanks for your poem. Your poem asks a lot of thought provoking questions. I especially like: why we only want things until we have them and the victory and win stanza. I see your portfolio has several entries. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey. Have a Good Day!
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Review of Swan Lake  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aritsou Your poem is interesting, the theme of vanity and jealousy(your notation at the heading) prepared me for the reading of the poem. These lines stood out to me (1)Dancing to the beat of their souls (2)Their smiles of discontent Your poem is very creative, using vanity/jealousy as maidens. Enjoyed reading it. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey. Have a Good Day!
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Review of Mother  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lili This haiku follows the 5/7/5 syllable pattern. I read it out loud and liked how the words sounded. Also, great message. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Heather - Thanks for posting your story. I'm thinking the one you are reminiscing on has died. Or maybe, it's the end of a relationship. Your story is a somber one describing the pain of a lost love. I like that the story ended with hope - making it out of this spiral. I noticed one typo: lye Have a Good Day! Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Max Your poem is a reminder that life gives us moments of opportunity. Sometimes we hesitate, think it over and let the opportunity pass. Mediocrity so safe is a reminder that we can get too comfortable with our situation and ignore the enlightenment that visits the edge of our consciousness. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey.
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Review of My Angelic Demon  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lili Thanks for your story. I like your question at the heading of your story, What would happen if a demon was to do some good? I see that Sebastian is your angelic demon. When you mentioned your grandfather's store I tagged Sebastian as your grandfather. Your question is one that can provide lots of stories. Have a Good Evening!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
alisony Thanks for posting your poem. I looked at your portfolio and saw two entries. Congratulations,on sharing your work with others. My interpretation of your poem may be incorrect, but that is the fun of receiving reviews. Many reviews I have received help me see alternative meanings for my words. I don't know if you are using symbolism but I found the rain, planning my way home, and the arrow pointed up to the sky very interesting. The mention of rain - is a literal or a suggestion of difficultes? - Planning my way home - a building or thoughts of an afterlife? The pointing arrow a wall decoration or another meaning. Toward the end of your poem, I like the list and for me the mystery continues by mentioning last night's dream. Suggestions: typos skakes, blesings and gladiolas. Spacing-planningmy I enjoyed your poem. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
DurkaDoink - Thanks for your story, yes you did get me as a mosquito wasn't in my thoughts. When the creature elongated his body to slip through the crack on the window I pictured a green, slime creature. The suspense introduced in the second chapter continues throughout your story and keeps the reader engaged. When I read the ending I thought- wonder why I didn't catch on. But those are the stories I like the ones that fool me. I looked at your portfolio and read about your health issues, sounds like you have been through a lot. Thanks for your story.
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Review of Silence of Night  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Floyd I read your poem several times and will share my thoughts. I think it's interesting that when I get reviews the reader points out something I missed, didn't mean or hadn't thought of. I really like this poem. I read it a couple of times then gave it some thought time. Hushed/Pulsing beginning lines that follow one another create a vivid contrast for the introduction of the birth of Christ. "Hushed its frosty breath" reminded me of the silence in heaven Rev. 8:1 "Cleaved its deep mantle" - star splitting the earth's mantle? Whether my interpretation is correct my thoughts on you're poem are. It's a thought provoking read that spans the ages, but applies today: "wise men follow yet."
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Melissa - To me your poem represents life portrayed through cross country skiing. I don't know if that is what you intended, but the fun thing about getting reviews is seeing how your readers interpret your writing. "Keep Moving Forward" is the dominate theme and it's a good one. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey

*SUGGESTION As I scrolled through the newbie section I noticed the word count listed for your poem - 690 Words. Even though a typo you might want to change it. For readers who are limited in time they might skip over it due to the perceived length. When you read the contest guidelines for poetry on this site they request LINE count, instead of words so your poem contains 24 Lines. Just a suggestion. Keep writing,lots of information on this site that will be helpful to you. Have a Good Day!
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Review of Wind Blows By  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for your poem. My comments before I read the Double Etheree note, were generalities, what I liked,how I felt reading your poem. Then I scrolled down and saw your notation. What a difference that made! Following your guidelines, I read it several times. Since I have little knowledge of poetry this is a learning experience for me. Fascinating! Thanks for explaining it.
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Review of My Lord  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your poem about your faith. After the first read I read it two more times. The second time I focused on the attributes of Jesus and third time I looked at what the believer receives. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey!
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Review of The Handkerchief  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
AJBurchell I enjoyed reading your 50 word entry. I noticed one of the genres you chose is "Mystery." I think this thought comes through with the phrase "the company of unseen currents." The idea is completed when the handkerchief follows the man and lands on his boot. Your choice of the tramp adds an air of mystery. The policeman and tramp are quite the contrast. What the policeman tries to prevents happens anyway. The question is - is this luck or fate? To me there is a lot of symbolism in your 50 words, you used them well, glad I could read it.
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Review of Hope  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aisha - What a wonderful way to start my morning, reading your article on hope. I don't see anything wrong grammar wise. Your thoughts are presented well and your article is clear and easy to understand. I especially like your thoughts on leaving the critics behind because they are aware of your story. Thanks for your article, keep writing!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Properous Snow - Your poem is great, perfect timing considering recent events. The contrast between the party goers (I'm thinking of the ones in my state(Jack's Bar and Grill) of Missouri and those we honor on Memorial Day create such a strong picture for the reader. Thanks for sharing and good luck (forget luck this one stands on its own) in the contest.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Percy I appreciate your article, read it twice and plan to study it. Your words really hit home for me because I'm a very unstructured poet(an injustice to call myself poet) Like a kindergartener with a fat crayon I create gobbledegook. There are no balls balanced in the air.

Your thoughts on structure,rhythm,and rhyming give me a lot to think on. You are so correct, it's hard work. I own several books on writing poems. When I looked at them I felt overwhelmed, read some sections in the books, but didn't commit myself to studying the craft.

Your article is very good, one sentence in the last paragraph is playing over in my mind, "What happens in structured poetry is that thought can't escape the poet's mind until it meets the criteria of the form." Thanks for the article.


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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for another interesting story. I love banana moon pies so much that after my hospital stay (surgery) 15 yrs. ago I requested moon pies. I knew after surgery it wasn't the best choice for my recovery but it did wonders for me mentally.

Your articles provide the reader with interesting facts and your writing is clear and easy to understand. Like it!

My mother's maiden name was Mitchell if by chance Earl is a relative I'm carrying on the legacy of moon pies.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bubblegum - Finally getting a gander at your portfolio. Did I learn something from this article? I sure did the word pangram- all 26 letters of the alphabet. Thanks for the info and article.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jacky - Loved this story. Great one, keep writing!
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Review of The Stars  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Robin Congratulations on your story. At first glance I thought I didn't have time to read it. I'm glad I did. As a writer, I'm an amateur but I do know when a story holds my attention and reads well. No typos or mistakes could I see. May be my misunderstanding but I backed up on the third paragraph the second sentence "No matter how hard he tried, he eventually puked," I'm thinking no matter how hard he tried not to he eventually puked. Thanks for your story, it's good, I liked it. Keep Writing!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your article on the different seasons we experience as believers in God. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, plus the scripture references included in your writing.
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Review of The Sand Castle  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
As one who lives far from the beach, I enjoyed your childhood memory. Your writing is descriptive enough to transport me to the ocean. Crabs, seagulls, and sand castles a lovely way to place the reader on the beach with you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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