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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joylife1951
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234 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Sand Castle  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
As one who lives far from the beach, I enjoyed your childhood memory. Your writing is descriptive enough to transport me to the ocean. Crabs, seagulls, and sand castles a lovely way to place the reader on the beach with you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Marta - Thanks for your impelling narrative. Comparing your personal growth to a seed/vine that fights to overcome negativity gives the reader hope to overcome their difficulties. I like how you ended your article. "I am a vine that overtook . . . I am thriving." Keep Writing.
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Review of MIRACLE  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
DeeJain - Thanks for sharing your testimony on the power of positive thinking. Your writing may be the incentive to help others who struggle with fear. Providing hope for others is important and your article does that. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks so much for writing this article. The who and why of our life are important questions. It is so easy to accept the status quo and to believe that changes cannot be made. I plan to read this again and take time to think on how this article describes me. You wrote a great article. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Heavy  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hillary - Just read your article and wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts. Whether this story is true or fictional it's written in a way that can be helpful to others. The last two sentences allow the reader to speculate on who or what is speaking. If you are living this article my thoughts are with you. Some of my family members suffer from depression. If possible keep writing.
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Review of my entry  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to the site. There is a lot of information here that will be helpful to you. May I suggest that you don't get discouraged, take it slow and things will start to make more sense. There are still areas on the site that I'm not familiar with because I haven't spent time reading the information or my reading was a quick skim. This is a great place to write, you have many choices such as making your story public or private, this comes in handy if you are editing or just not ready to share your work. Hope this helps.
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Review of Chewy,s Story  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wishful - Thanks for your story. I checked your portfolio and read your bio. You must be one busy lady. Your story written from the dog's point of view reminds me of a book I read, "Wonder Dog Jim." I like that your story has a happy ending. I'm an amateur writer, so my suggestions are meant to be helpful and given for you to consider and to decide if you think they are helpful. (1) If I overlooked this in your story ignore this: the heading under your title has the info that Chewy is a pit bull, it would be nice to see this info within the story. (2) Look for words that are repeated several times such as "blonde man." I have the habit of repeating certain words too often, that's probably why I noticed this. After I repeat a word several times it distracts from my story. When I read my stories, I start focusing on the over repeated word and lose the story line.

Now I want to encourage you to keep writing. With 3 children and disabled father it must be difficult to find the time. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Carolyn - What a lovely poem even though it's sad it ends with a sense of completion and acceptance. I know very little about poetry, but I noticed the composition - the first and last stanza remind me of bookends (on the way and leaving) also, secondary bookends - the second and fourth stanza ("nature scenes"). This order highlights the message in the middle of your poem. I especially like your addition of "A small yellow bug. . ." Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Bad Coffee  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Carolyn I liked your story because it reminds me of life. Imagining that something is going to be great then something happens that brings you back to reality. In your story, it's coffee. The last sentence of your story is the one that reminds the reader - been there, done that. Thanks for your story. Looked at your portfolio, liked the one - "Black and Grey." Hope the title is correct. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of my sunshine  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Annaliese - Thanks for your poem "my sunshine." Your thoughts on love remind me of young love and the pain experienced when the feeling isn't mutual. I find the closing of your poem interesting, the line - "And you love me too." This line follows your thought "I know there is some spark." The ending of the poem allows the reader to believe there is hope for this relationship. I checked your portfolio and see this is your first entry, congratulations! Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Dreams  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Timothy - I enjoyed reading your poem "Dreams." My favorite lines are "And to leave that be, without a word" and "I know you're there,within my reach But just outside my grasp." Lost love is a great topic for poems and stories. I like the possibility that love can be recaptured. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your review of the book "On the Road." When attending book sales and the library I have seen the book, actually picked it up a few times but didn't get it. Your review gives me an idea of what to expect from the author. Your description of Sal's contemplation is something that interests me. Because of your article this book is on my to read list. Thanks! Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for you info on dental implants, I must admit the part about the screws going directly into the jaw bone made me squirm. You've written a very informative article with two paragraphs. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Behind All Upsets  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Matt - Thanks so much for your article. Our small school doesn't have a football team, my grandkids are involved in basketball. Even though I know very little about football I enjoyed reading your article - it got me to thinking how many things can happen that can change the outcome of the game. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of The test  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Bridget - Thanks for your story, it's neat that you added the edit points. I'm an amateur writer so I can't really help with editing. My suggestion is to continue writing, if possible write daily, sometimes it may be one short paragraph. There is a lot of information on this site and it will be helpful to you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Morning  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wallflower Thanks for your lovely poem. I like the last line of each stanza and the opening of each verse, using the stars- wind- sun. Very soothing and an enjoyable read. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting piece of writing. To me it comes across as mythological and begs the reader to look at it again and then find the gems that apply to their situation. The ending of your story is a surprise and gives the reader the additional information that can be used as they analyze the story. Thanks, Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of STRANGER  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your poem, I looked at your portfolio and see this is your first entry. Maybe, there have been others but if it is your first, congratulations. My favorite line of your poem summarizes it well "going with the flow to catch the glimpse of the most unexpected things" I like that thought. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of I am God  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for your poem on writing. Focusing on the pencil as god is very creative. Also, your poem shows the power of story and the choices the writer can utilize. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Darkened Vision  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm thinking this is a fictional story, but if it's true I'm sorry for all you have experienced. Whether it's true or not its helped me to be grateful for my eyesight. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of How Silent  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hana Thanks for your poem "How Silent." It reminds me of a person's first love, how grand it is and time consuming. I like how you ended the poem, the silence of your world. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Karen - Thanks for your article, we too had a tree - a sugar maple. I bought it at a nursery and many years later it got a disease. We've been here for 50 yrs. Your story brought back some memories. Thanks for sharing your story. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Metaphors  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Displeased - Thanks for your "Metaphors." I'm seeing this as a love relationship where one is always giving and the other takes. Since metaphors can be interpreted differently here's my thoughts on your poem. Petals = all one's mental and physical capacities
Earth = the one who takes Flower = Essence of Life (Spirit). In a few sentences you have created a thought provoking reading. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Second Attempt  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for your thoughts about love. This is interesting as it gives the reader the opportunity to think about love in their life. Am I causing something to push it further away? While it drifts away is it impossible for me to retrieve it? The concept of "ropes" and their weight on you would be an interesting thought to develop into a story. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm in the morning rush with grandkids but wanted to let you know this is absolutely beautiful! Will return later, read it out loud and enjoy the way the words sound. Great job!
I can't remember if you are the one but someone returned my gift points. Sending them anyway, hope you accept them but if for some reason you don't want them, that's fine.
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