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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joylife1951
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243 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Handkerchief  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
AJBurchell I enjoyed reading your 50 word entry. I noticed one of the genres you chose is "Mystery." I think this thought comes through with the phrase "the company of unseen currents." The idea is completed when the handkerchief follows the man and lands on his boot. Your choice of the tramp adds an air of mystery. The policeman and tramp are quite the contrast. What the policeman tries to prevents happens anyway. The question is - is this luck or fate? To me there is a lot of symbolism in your 50 words, you used them well, glad I could read it.
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Review of Hope  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aisha - What a wonderful way to start my morning, reading your article on hope. I don't see anything wrong grammar wise. Your thoughts are presented well and your article is clear and easy to understand. I especially like your thoughts on leaving the critics behind because they are aware of your story. Thanks for your article, keep writing!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Properous Snow - Your poem is great, perfect timing considering recent events. The contrast between the party goers (I'm thinking of the ones in my state(Jack's Bar and Grill) of Missouri and those we honor on Memorial Day create such a strong picture for the reader. Thanks for sharing and good luck (forget luck this one stands on its own) in the contest.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Percy I appreciate your article, read it twice and plan to study it. Your words really hit home for me because I'm a very unstructured poet(an injustice to call myself poet) Like a kindergartener with a fat crayon I create gobbledegook. There are no balls balanced in the air.

Your thoughts on structure,rhythm,and rhyming give me a lot to think on. You are so correct, it's hard work. I own several books on writing poems. When I looked at them I felt overwhelmed, read some sections in the books, but didn't commit myself to studying the craft.

Your article is very good, one sentence in the last paragraph is playing over in my mind, "What happens in structured poetry is that thought can't escape the poet's mind until it meets the criteria of the form." Thanks for the article.


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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for another interesting story. I love banana moon pies so much that after my hospital stay (surgery) 15 yrs. ago I requested moon pies. I knew after surgery it wasn't the best choice for my recovery but it did wonders for me mentally.

Your articles provide the reader with interesting facts and your writing is clear and easy to understand. Like it!

My mother's maiden name was Mitchell if by chance Earl is a relative I'm carrying on the legacy of moon pies.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bubblegum - Finally getting a gander at your portfolio. Did I learn something from this article? I sure did the word pangram- all 26 letters of the alphabet. Thanks for the info and article.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jacky - Loved this story. Great one, keep writing!
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Review of The Stars  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Robin Congratulations on your story. At first glance I thought I didn't have time to read it. I'm glad I did. As a writer, I'm an amateur but I do know when a story holds my attention and reads well. No typos or mistakes could I see. May be my misunderstanding but I backed up on the third paragraph the second sentence "No matter how hard he tried, he eventually puked," I'm thinking no matter how hard he tried not to he eventually puked. Thanks for your story, it's good, I liked it. Keep Writing!
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your article on the different seasons we experience as believers in God. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, plus the scripture references included in your writing.
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Review of The Sand Castle  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
As one who lives far from the beach, I enjoyed your childhood memory. Your writing is descriptive enough to transport me to the ocean. Crabs, seagulls, and sand castles a lovely way to place the reader on the beach with you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Marta - Thanks for your impelling narrative. Comparing your personal growth to a seed/vine that fights to overcome negativity gives the reader hope to overcome their difficulties. I like how you ended your article. "I am a vine that overtook . . . I am thriving." Keep Writing.
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Review of MIRACLE  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
DeeJain - Thanks for sharing your testimony on the power of positive thinking. Your writing may be the incentive to help others who struggle with fear. Providing hope for others is important and your article does that. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Heavy  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hillary - Just read your article and wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts. Whether this story is true or fictional it's written in a way that can be helpful to others. The last two sentences allow the reader to speculate on who or what is speaking. If you are living this article my thoughts are with you. Some of my family members suffer from depression. If possible keep writing.
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Review of my entry  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to the site. There is a lot of information here that will be helpful to you. May I suggest that you don't get discouraged, take it slow and things will start to make more sense. There are still areas on the site that I'm not familiar with because I haven't spent time reading the information or my reading was a quick skim. This is a great place to write, you have many choices such as making your story public or private, this comes in handy if you are editing or just not ready to share your work. Hope this helps.
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Review of Chewy,s Story  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wishful - Thanks for your story. I checked your portfolio and read your bio. You must be one busy lady. Your story written from the dog's point of view reminds me of a book I read, "Wonder Dog Jim." I like that your story has a happy ending. I'm an amateur writer, so my suggestions are meant to be helpful and given for you to consider and to decide if you think they are helpful. (1) If I overlooked this in your story ignore this: the heading under your title has the info that Chewy is a pit bull, it would be nice to see this info within the story. (2) Look for words that are repeated several times such as "blonde man." I have the habit of repeating certain words too often, that's probably why I noticed this. After I repeat a word several times it distracts from my story. When I read my stories, I start focusing on the over repeated word and lose the story line.

Now I want to encourage you to keep writing. With 3 children and disabled father it must be difficult to find the time. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (5.0)
Carolyn - What a lovely poem even though it's sad it ends with a sense of completion and acceptance. I know very little about poetry, but I noticed the composition - the first and last stanza remind me of bookends (on the way and leaving) also, secondary bookends - the second and fourth stanza ("nature scenes"). This order highlights the message in the middle of your poem. I especially like your addition of "A small yellow bug. . ." Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Bad Coffee  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Carolyn I liked your story because it reminds me of life. Imagining that something is going to be great then something happens that brings you back to reality. In your story, it's coffee. The last sentence of your story is the one that reminds the reader - been there, done that. Thanks for your story. Looked at your portfolio, liked the one - "Black and Grey." Hope the title is correct. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of my sunshine  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Annaliese - Thanks for your poem "my sunshine." Your thoughts on love remind me of young love and the pain experienced when the feeling isn't mutual. I find the closing of your poem interesting, the line - "And you love me too." This line follows your thought "I know there is some spark." The ending of the poem allows the reader to believe there is hope for this relationship. I checked your portfolio and see this is your first entry, congratulations! Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Dreams  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
Timothy - I enjoyed reading your poem "Dreams." My favorite lines are "And to leave that be, without a word" and "I know you're there,within my reach But just outside my grasp." Lost love is a great topic for poems and stories. I like the possibility that love can be recaptured. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your review of the book "On the Road." When attending book sales and the library I have seen the book, actually picked it up a few times but didn't get it. Your review gives me an idea of what to expect from the author. Your description of Sal's contemplation is something that interests me. Because of your article this book is on my to read list. Thanks! Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for you info on dental implants, I must admit the part about the screws going directly into the jaw bone made me squirm. You've written a very informative article with two paragraphs. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Behind All Upsets  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Matt - Thanks so much for your article. Our small school doesn't have a football team, my grandkids are involved in basketball. Even though I know very little about football I enjoyed reading your article - it got me to thinking how many things can happen that can change the outcome of the game. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of The test  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Bridget - Thanks for your story, it's neat that you added the edit points. I'm an amateur writer so I can't really help with editing. My suggestion is to continue writing, if possible write daily, sometimes it may be one short paragraph. There is a lot of information on this site and it will be helpful to you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review of Morning  
Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wallflower Thanks for your lovely poem. I like the last line of each stanza and the opening of each verse, using the stars- wind- sun. Very soothing and an enjoyable read. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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Review by Joylife
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting piece of writing. To me it comes across as mythological and begs the reader to look at it again and then find the gems that apply to their situation. The ending of your story is a surprise and gives the reader the additional information that can be used as they analyze the story. Thanks, Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
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