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Deepak - Thanks for sharing your poem. I like all of it, but especially the last three lines. I'm an amateur writer so I don't feel qualified to critique your work. I checked your portfolio and see this is your first entry. Congratulations! This site will be most helpful to you whether you are new to writing or have been at it for a long time. Sometimes, my journey in writing is rewarding and frustrating. But, I believe that the days that are frustrating are just the experience I need to become a better writer. Good job! Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Aeria - Just read your poem, it's definitely dark and scary. I'm an amateur writer so I don't critique in my reviews. As an amateur I notice how a poem reads and this one reads well. I didn't stop or pause because a word seemed out of place. Those who know about poetry would probably mention the rhythm or meter of your poem. I noticed this is your first entry in your portfolio. Congratulations! I want to encourage you to keep writing. This site is a great place to explore and expand your skills. I forgot to mention one line - "Their laughter loud in even water" adds to the darkness of your poem. Good job! Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Kimala I see you have added another poem to your portfolio. Congratulations! Like your other poem this one has another line that I like. . . "And brought into my darkened world, a light that I could see." Just because I choose a favorite line doesn't mean that I don't like the rest of the poem. I want to encourage you to keep writing. Sometimes, writing is frustrating and rewarding to me, a strange combination that keeps me coming back. I don't know if you experience this but if you do my take on this is that we are just that much closer to achieving the satisfaction of expressing ourselves, placing the perfect words in the order we want them. Whew! That was a long sentence. As a fellow writer I wish you well, keep at it. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey(even the frustration Ha!)
Welcome Back! I checked your portfolio and read your bio and see that you are returning to this site to share your creations. Of the ones you have posted I chose this one to comment on.
I'm an amateur writer so this review is not a critique. I really like this poem, you have captured the scene of reflection and relaxation and it places the reader within the poem.
Congratulations on your portfolio entries. Thanks for your poem. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Katherine, Thanks for your bio, it's a pleasure to read your plans for the future. A lot of kids graduate from high school and don't have a clue about their future. I especially like your comment about being a visual reader . . ."I don't want the image of anything inappropriate in my mind." I see that this is your first entry in your portfolio. Congratulations! Sounds like you are super busy so some days may be just a sentence or two. Save them, they will be there when you return. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
writerfromheart - Thanks for your poem, it's a powerful testimony of faith. I especially like the line in the second stanza, "Everything changed like eternity." Congratulations on your
portfolio, I see that you have three entries. Whether you are new to writing or have been writing for quite some time you will enjoy this site. Keep putting your thoughts down and sharing them with others. Good job! Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Shae What a beautiful poem. I looked at your portfolio and I think this is your first entry. Congratulations! You have so many good thoughts in this poem. Not only is it a poem, but it's a prayer to become closer to the LORD. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Johnny- Thanks for your story. I checked your portfolio and see that it's your first entry.
Congratulations! Since, I'm an amateur writer, I don't feel comfortable with critiquing someone's work. But, I do want to encourage you to keep writing. This site is a great place to learn more about writing. Even though I don't offer much help, I noticed that your story has the potential to develop into future stories, there are several topics in your story that can be expanded upon. Welcome to the site, there's a lot of information you can find here. Have fun!
Keep writing, Keep creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Alias Thanks for your story. First of all, I'm an amateur writer but since you want to know what I think here goes: I really like the descriptive phrases of the two girls and three guys. From that section until the end of your story I was anticipating what would happen. Usually, I like a story line to be resolved but this one leaves you still wondering. It surprised me, but I really liked how you ended the story. I wish I could give you a more helpful review, but I do want to encourage you to continue on. I checked your portfolio and see this is your first entry. Whether you are new to writing or not this site will help you. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Kimala - Thanks for your poem. I like the line, "I'm in one of life's craters," this is very effective phrase that shows the despair that one can experience. Also, the last sentence, even though it doesn't end on a hopeful note it reminds the reader that you lose some battles. I checked your portfolio and I see this is your first entry. Congratulations! Whether you are new to writing or have been writing for quite some time this site will help you improve. Keep Writing, Keep Creating and Enjoy the Journey.
Just read your poem. This reminds me of the saying that opposites attract. This is an interesting look at human nature and the script that plays in our head. I checked your portfolio and I see this is your first entry. Congratulations! This is a great site to discover the different ways your creativity can grow. Whether you are new to writing or have been writing for a long time, this site will help you. Since I am an amateur writer my review won't be much help as far as the mechanics of writing, but I hope that you continue to write and enjoy the process. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Thanks for your story. I think your title is quite creative, for it really is post mortem for Mortem. "Life has become a habit and I want to break it" is the sentence that readers can reflect on by looking at their life and habits. Even though the story is about a serial killer I noticed the life is a habit thought. I looked at your portfolio and believe this is your first entry. Congratulations on writing your story and posting it on writing.com. Whether you are new to writing or have been writing for a long time this is the place to learn and grow. Days that you are super busy just jot down a few sentences, they will be there when you return. You will be surprised at what your brain comes up with. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
dengfeixiang - Thanks for your thoughts on Artificial Intelligence. Your sentence "By then, Al will not follow human's orders" sounds like a good plot for a future story. I checked your portfolio and see that this is your first entry. Congratulations and welcome to writing.com.
Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Blackhawk - Thanks for your story (whether it is true or fictional) it provides the reader a chance to question their life, especially if they are in the same situation. I really like a couple of sentences( not that I don't think the rest is good) they are: "It takes a catalyst, or a catechism of life to force you to jump off the road of the same old thing and try to be different." Your story tells of a love relationship, but I thought this sentence could be used for any topic (such as improving your writing skills, trying new genres, etc.) The next sentence I liked is "Perhaps these sentences seem like they go nowhere, but they are fragments, fragments of thoughts that splinter into a bigger story." Again, I applied this to my writing and how fragments of thought can come together and become a story. Congratulations on your story because it provided me not only with the topic - girl meets a boy, but some good points that I applied to writing. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Hopeless Love - Just read your story and you have told the story well of love and obsession. Your story can appeal to all ages as the younger ones will be able to relate to all the feelings your story contain. As an older reader it's a reminder of young love, but of course now I see the red flags of losing yourself to someone else. I checked your portfolio and bio and see that you like to right horror stories and want to try other genres. Congratulations on wanting to branch out and write in other areas. Thanks for your story, you chose a good title. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Wicked Flower - Just read your speech "You are Good Enough." I like the positive message you get across, especially "never stop following your dreams, people." If one of your dreams is being a writer you will enjoy writing. com. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Thanks for writing "A House of Ash." Since I am older what this poem reminds me of is the World Wars (one and two). Even though both of these events happened before my birth, your poem reminds me of articles I have read about the wars. This is a good poem, it causes the reader to reflect and gives them an opportunity to make their own application. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Felwa Thanks for your story, a letter to yourself is an interesting topic that can lead to many stories. Being able to look within and to learn from what we see is most rewarding. I encourage you to continue with your writing and you will be surprised at your creativity. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Leigh - Thanks for your poem, it reminds me of summer days with my grandkids. I like your title "Summer Haze." We spent 21 years(combined) babysitting a great niece and our grandchildren. First, I read a poem silently and then out loud. Your words and stanzas are smooth, by that I mean no hitches or pauses. The rhythm is great and it's a pleasure to read. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
Riot Blog - Congratulations on your desire to write blog posts. As I read your paragraph I see that you have laid the groundwork for future posts to your blog. I admire your desire to write and want to encourage you to continue. Every sentence, every paragraph, every blog post is an opportunity to learn and to be surprised at the ideas you come up with. Some days you may only jot down a few sentences, keep them, they will be there when you return. Keep Writing, Keep Creating and Enjoy the Journey.
Anjaree - Just read your story and I want to congratulate you for having such an imaginative mind. The next day's search for the garden and pixies leaves an element of surprise and also the opportunity to continue on with your story. Thanks for posting. Keep Writing , Keep Creating and Enjoy the Journey.
Sherry Another good one! I admire your ability to put words together that are a delight to read. Have a good day! Keep Writing, Keep Creating and Enjoy the Journey.
I enjoyed your poem and the lines about your character (black curves and lines) and the last line. Most of all I like the positivity attitude compared to the negative doodles. Good poem - Keep Writing, Keep Creating and Enjoy the Journey.
Sherry - I'm glad to see you have written another poem. I enjoyed "Dancing Dresses" and think this one is lovely. Lovely? sounds strange to describe winter as lovely but your lines "winter whispers" and the whisper of spring is the perfect beginning and ending for your poem. Also, I like your river description(honey). I read this out loud after reading it silently and there are no hitches or pauses, just a delightful read. Keep Writing, Keep Creating, and Enjoy the Journey.
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