Hello!
I am a member of "The Terrace", a group on writing.com striving to improve our writing skills, and I have chosen to review this excellent article that you've written.
I especially like your first paragraph as it doesn't say what the topic is until the very last line! It is a good opener.
I would make one suggestion with the beginning sentence in your 2nd paragraph. You've written At three months old an unborn child is two and a half to three inches long and is fully formed. Since "age" doesn't officially begin until the infant is born, I would change that to something like, "At three months (of development) or (in utero)...."
I found it quite interesting where you mentioned the idea of women having a "transparent" stomach. That surely would be dramatic. With technology, women can "see" their baby on ultrasound, and hear the heart beat, but for those who choose to "get rid" of the child, even that sadly doesn't seem to make much difference.
You've made a number of important points and I applaud your effort. Keep up the good work.
:) Judy
Quite well written.
You've made some very valid points about fear and how it affects people. Sadly far too many people face up to their fears and meet them head on!
Some fears are justified, while others (probably most) are way bigger in our mind's eye than they should be.
I have some experience too in conquering fears and know that it can be done, one baby step at a time.
Good Essay!
:) Judy
After just the first few paragraphs I realized where the story was going as far as the "camp" and it just gave me a chill to be reminded of that period of time, even though I wasn't even born yet then.
While history was never my favorite subject, and the History Channel is one I rarely ever have on my television, I believe every generation should be taught about the atrocities that happened in previous generations.
How sad that a group of students, and even the teacher, would seemingly ignore it. I applaud you for writing about this.
This would certainly bring back similar memories to many adults who were less than accepted by their schoolmates.
It is sad but true that in every grade and every school there is always one or two children who are taunted, ignored and left out. I think teachers, who I realize are already overworked, should purposely plan to draw those children into the group, whether it be through a class pet they contribute, an important class project they are chosen (by the teacher, of course) to undertake. It is a sad scene to be sure.
My background is in social work and we all know how the pain of childhood isolation can adversely affect a child in his teen years and beyond.
Are you planning to try to get this published somewhere? I think you have chosen a good slant to tell the story and it read well.
A very concise, to the point, helpful summary of how to be a good "reviewer".
What you have written, and more importantly, how you have laid it all out, teaches as well as encourages the reader to review in the best possible way.
The use of examples, ie. "color", "bold letters" etc. visually demonstrates how this can improve a written review and yet cautions us to not overuse them.
Thanks for taking the time to write it.
JudyB
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