This was so cute! I love how its told from an animal's point of view instead of a humans. most people don't realize it but animals have thoughts too. I have always wondered what goes through their heads but we may never find out! Go through and check the POV and your hes and shes again and it will be perfect!
I loved how the narrator was talking about herself when I expected it to be some boy who crushes on a girl until it becomes unbearable. Hiding within oneself is a topic hard to reach but you describes it beautifully.
This was a gift to the world of poetry. It's a stream line from someone's conscious and I can feel what the narrator feels. I understand his pain and his struggle to let go. The layout/rhyme scheme was creative because it wasn't a constant A/B/A/B or even a A/B/C/B/A it was not perfectly rhyming. Nice Job!
This was so inspirational. I have never had family problems like that but they sound difficult and exhausting. You struggle so much yet you still believe God has a plan and that he won't leave you. Your faith is so stron gin the Lord and I admire that.
Wonderful! Loved the metaphors! Genius! I like the double "identity" guy. your vocabulary is on point. I loved it! Do a quick grammar check and it will be perfection. The character build was amazing. A true detectives mind is shown through Lisa. 5 stars.
Who is the man in the abyss and why did he kill himself? Why did he smile before he fell? The first few lines were quick and indecisive. The characters were not explained very well. I feel like it had a reverse Scar and Mufasa moment from the Lion King thrown in there. the general idea of the story was good though.