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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/karyn28
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5 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review of Introduction  
Review by K. Ward
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have excellent description. You go into depth, which is telling. Your flow is amazing. The imagery and choice of words are great. I like when you say, at the beginning, that the holes were "peppering" the knees. You captured fragile youth in an outstanding way, flattering her even though she only sees her own flaws. I wonder what she is competing for, but I already know that the audience is tough and critical. I would like to read more.
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Review by K. Ward
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You have a mixture of old world and modern speech, I see. You use both "thee" and "you" with a gothic element. You begin with personified trees and then talk about the "grave," "hex," "ghosts," and "pyre," for example, and end with a modern reference to pressing the delete key on a keyboard. I think it's brilliant, because it expresses hatred and deep anguish about something that happened in the past. But because you made it a touch modern, it feels like you're telling the object of your hatred, "get over it already, it's the 2020's." About your form, you've gotten creative. The six longer stanzas, consisting of two couplets each, with shorter rhymes intermixed, and your two shorter stanzas, are evenly spaced, even though your meter is not consistent. It reads like a modern song. But it's a poem. And the poem is well-written, dream-like, with a crisis, which is that this horrible person is in your mind, and resolution, which is to press the delete key on when you first met. I don't know if you meant to do any of this, but I like it.
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