Beautiful poem for those of us who are older and still believe in the magic and stardust of love. My congratulations on the Senior win for the "love" prompt for February. Your flow, rhythm and descriptions are perfect and pull on the heartstrings. Keep writing and stay safe.
I really did enjoy this. I love the characters, the descriptions are wonderful and dialogue is very real. I felt like I was in the room. You are very good at character development. I want to wish you luck and I will continue to watch for further exciting writing from you. Stay safe.
Interesting and humorous look at social media. I like the idea of just being honest, that is always appreciated by me. I like a good religious or political discussion if people are being polite about it but it has become a HUGE thing these days.My page is my house and I reserve the right to post what I want but there is such a thing as morals and values. My brothers and I totally disagree on some subjects but we still speak to and love each other.
I think we have made much ado about nothing over social media anyway. But there are always going to be troublemakers, just like the playground. I liked your piece, well written and enjoyed. Facebook is a good place to go if you are looking for trouble so stop thinking that way, post your grandkids photos-we are but mortal men and women, right? Stay safe.
This is such a beautiful poem that I found inspirational and touching. I love the descriptions in the 2nd stanza, a lovely scene. I find myself confused about the continuation of this touching love. At one point, it sounds like it is still alive and changed over the years or after many years, now gone and you have memories. Poetry truth is known only to the writer, as it should be. Very talented writing that is lovely.
I am ready to crawl through the internet and right into a Turkish Bath. The descriptions are excellent in this piece. I am using all my senses; to smell jasmine and roses; feel the oils on my skin, to see the moon beams; and hear the relaxing sounds of nature. Beautiful and talented writing at it's best. Thanks for the temporary trip to relax. The flow is smooth and rhythm is perfect. Keep writing. Stay safe.
This is a lovely poem about a beautiful art form for men to admire. It is such hard work to climb that ladder and like models, you age out fast. Most of the history shows that these girls are bought( as you said) and then trained to be a wealthy man's other woman, not his wife. I hope some of them fell in love and were loved back as you have written.
My goodness, how men have run the world. For a poor girl, to become a geisha must have been like becoming a princess. It is the same caste system found around the world and why so many flocked to America. I love your words, flow, emotions and rhythm. A lot of people don't know about the subject. These girls/women suffer remarkable pain to perform as they did. It must have taken a lot of courage. I enjoyed this poem. Nice writing, stay safe. Thanks for all you do here at WDC and all the reviews of my poems and stories.
I want to thank you so much for reviewing my poem. I was looking over your portfolio and see that you are 15. I also saw that you are Indian and read your piece on Holi, which I really enjoyed. I love learning about different cultures and religions. I wanted to welcome you to WDC. You are very mature for your age. When I was 15, I kept a diary but it was all about boys LOL.
I read the 1st part of your story and really enjoyed your descriptions and setting up a scene: As she turned, her bright face , fair as milk with cute cat eyes appeared. Her cheeks were soft and red as blossom and her lips soft as creme. She had her long black hair tied into a pony altogether making a gorgeous face. But her classmates called her quite mysterious as she had never talked much to anyone except for her friends - Jack and Anne.
Language is going to be tricky but that is true for all of us in this global world. Your communication in feelings and observations is what is important. Nice to meet a new writer-I wish you the very best. Keep writing.
You certainly have a lot of writing talent. I love your snapshots of art and life. The feeling of excitement and inspiration for a new project comes through. That is the way any artistic endeavor is begun, an idea here and there comes together into a new way of looking at an object, idea, or feelings expressed on canvas. You have a great eye, a unique way with words and a fresh approach for the art of painting. Keep writing.
This is a beautiful piece of writing that brought back memories of my own young feelings of what I thought was love. I enjoy your way of speaking to the reader, I could relate to all of the experience most of us experience on that rocky path of growing up. It can be such a hard time, the heartbreak is so raw and the highs of those first feelings are so surreal. I always want to educate people that say "being young" is easy. I remember it as plunging into a "scripted" romantic relationship, a scene from a book, never true reality. You leave yourself so vulnerable. The learning curve of love is a process.
The ending is beautiful, with the mother and daughter both moving along the same train of thought. One remembering all those tender heartstrings and the other, just beginning to experience and learn about herself. Wonderful writing that touches the heart. Good luck, you are a winner!
I really was touched by this. You set the scene, brought the characters to life, added a problem to possibly be resolved and then concluded the story in 300 words. I don't know if I could do that. I like what's not being said in this piece. I can feel the pain and disappointment from her and then the fake gestures and empty words from him. It's over, but not forgotten. Excellent piece.
Excellent write about the awful crippling storms across Texas etc. I feel so badly for all those people and you expressed their fear and anxiety, not knowing how long it will last and bad it could get and whether you will even survive. A lack of control is such a frightening feeling. A heartbreaking read that makes one very grateful. Stay safe.
I love this poem, it is interesting and emotional. It feels like you are describing losing yourself in the physical relationship with someone new. I don't understand why you entered it as an adult genre. You might get more attention if you put it into relationship or even romance. It really is a beautiful poem. I loved the following:
here we shed the physical
dissolve into molecular
as one shared breath
I experienced divorce after a twenty year marriage and two children and it was very hard but I remarried and have been with my 2nd husband for 30 years. Life is full of surprises and sometimes, they are exactly the right ones at the right time. Stay safe and keep writing-you are talented.
This is an exquisite poem about a flower that I hold dear. My grandfather grew prize winning roses and did until he was ninety-two. He was featured in several articles. They took so much work but were so worth it. This poem brings the senses to life, I can visualize the birth of a rose and the beauty of life it represents. Thank you for the lovely read. You are very talented.
I was mesmerized reading this accurate account of helping the tiny sea turtles. I have even read that if you get to actually see the mom come up on shore and give birth, she cries. I don't know if that is the pain of labor or the fact that she knows only a tiny amount of these babies will make it. You used descriptions to make this so very real, beautiful and such a tribute to the survival of nature. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece. Maybe it will get more attention to the loss of these great turtles that are unfortunately wounded by boats and other harmful environmental factors. Your writing reminds me of what a miracle it is when these babies do survive. By the way, have you ever read any of Mary Alice Monroe's books? This is her passion and she has written a lovely series about it plus raises contributions. Thanks for a great read.
This is a wonderful poem. I saw that you didn't bold the phrases, so they disqualified it. I loved the picture prompt but couldn't think of anything to do with the phrases so I gave up. You did a great job. The feelings are there of a broken relationship, the senses of the water and surrounding area, the flow is lovely. You should use it in another contest. There is one for a poem that tells a story, I believe. Do some editing and send it in for that. Best of luck and keep writing. Stay safe.
What a beautifully sad well written poem about loss and a lifetime of love. I remember my Dad dying like it was yesterday. Your parents were lucky to have so many years together. Sounds like they had a wonderful love story. I like you way you started each stanza with your Mom saying something about this man she loved so much. It flows fluently this way and the emotional impact really hits home.
I would imagine you and I are about the same age and loss is such a big part of our lives at this age. It isn't easy to watch the ones you love die but so important to be there. Written very well and I hope you have wonderful memories. Stay safe.
Maybe you have some tips for my writing on Writer's Cramp, I don't feel like I am doing so well at it.
Thanks for being a judge and so fair to everyone.
I love this poem. It is beautifully written with a smooth flow, descriptions that make me hear music and feel young. I loved this part:
The soft notes
slip out of speakers
and roll along my desktop,
falling to the floor;
a miniature waterfall.
This is a very sweet poem and I enjoyed reading it. I have 2 cats and they are both my spoiled children and so much trouble but fun. Your poem flows fairly well but you might want to use your spell check to help you out. The rhyming pattern is fine and it doesn't really matter with any freestyle poetry which I use a lot. I like the way you describe the kitty's antics and I can just see him doing all of those things. The poem makes me want to cuddle with my own kitties and I think the emotions your reader feels is the most important part of a poem. If you are writing about something sad and the reader feels brokenhearted, you have done your job. This is a happy poem and made me smile. Keep writing.
I love this because I can relate to it so wonderfully. There is something about the water that is so healing for and your brilliant sequence of thoughts, feelings and final relief is one that has run through my own head. It is similar to those who take a tranquilizer or a drink or even punch a pillow until they are exhausted. The water renews and rejuvenates. Such a healthy way to cope and you wrote it beautifully. Peace to you, water child. Keep writing.
This is a beautiful poem. I love the whole premise, so very true, the farmer is the most important. The poem itself rhymes, flows well and has a rhythm. It paints visuals of all the people that do make up this world and we need them all-we each offer something or we should. I have read some of your other poems and agree with your views of our former President. Right now, if we don't help people America is going to be in a hell of a mess. Keep writing and stay safe.
Excellent poem, love the prompt and think I will "borrow" it. As usual, your poetry always stirs me with challenging thoughts. I had to read this one over several times and believe I do agree. Not that it matters since it is excellent writing, flows well with rhythm and I enjoyed the read. Have a great day!
This brings back a lot of memories, the boxes we decorated and wondering if you were going to get that special Valentine. They still do this in 6th grade? I always felt sorry for the kids that had only a few. Well written, I really enjoyed the story and could see this happening. Best of luck to you!
This is a beautiful tribute to your daughter and written so well. I can't imagine losing a child and have always wondered how people find that kind of strength. My parents lost a baby before me when he was one week old of something that can be repaired easily now. I am so very sorry about your loss but am glad you have memories. Life is full of joys and sorrow, isn't it? After 67 years, I have experienced both and I tell younger people to be present in the moment, for it is fleeting. Of course, my Mom told me the same thing.
Thanks for the window into your life and the beauty that is present, along with the loss. Stay safe and keep writing.
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