|You're probably going to have to ignore a lot of my review because of the great pond divide for instance here...Since none of us had ever gone out there... we would write since none of us had ever been out there.... so anything that doesn't transpose because of the Brit/ American thing, just ignore, as indeed anything else you don't agree with.
Terry wasn’t just the leader, so to speak, but a risk taker and general butthead, ... I don't think you need the so to speak here, it weakens it.
Barbara, being the ditzy teenybopper that she was, decided to take up him up on it.... Good God, is she mad!
Somebody’s going to have back and tell the cops where the bodies are.”... to go back
give into peer pressure.. in to ... into is to go inside something
But the best part was that none of us got sick or died that day.... by some miracle.
“She’s laying eggs!”... brilliant.
“Hey, why hasn’t something to you?... happened
But the next morning was a little different.... you don't need this.
I once again woke up before sunrise and walked out on my front porch... or the once again in this.
This is a really fun story. I can imagine it going down well read aloud in the story-telling tent at music or lit festivals. Really made me grin. Well written and while being completely unbelievable, you bring a kind of down to earth reality to it. The characters work well together and the dialogue is sound. Love the image of the lass laying her eggs. Nice one.