|Hello, CJThomasson, and welcome to Writing.Com!
This was simply a beautiful story. Beautiful not only because of the endearing plot, but also due to the vivid imagery expressed through so many lines. I was able to experience each scene of the story: nearly breaking out in a sweat during summer, shivering through winter, holding my nose and grimacing through several hours of working at the tavern.
I'm not sure the opening sentence would have grabbed my interest had it not been for the graphic picture of a "drought that wrapped around the farmers like a shroud of death." As I read a little further, the picture continued to sharpen, and I was definitely hooked!
Nothing could dissuade me from encouraging others to enjoy this heart-touching story, although, I do offer some possible editing tips.
wounded bird being stared down by a cat currently reads as starred
watch stood for everything we are humans do not have a lot of on this earth, time. And, my father currently reads as Any
What I saw in those eyes was the realization that death currently reads as Wheat
And he was happy about it?! Although there is such a term as ' interrobang' represented by '?!' or '!?,' most writing handbooks suggest not using any other punctuation with a question mark or exclamation point.
It was the fastest I had ever run in my life currently reads as fasted
"Yes, I am. Use a comma when beginning sentences with an introductory word (well, now, or yes)
blood sacrifice, the riches of heaven, and the glory he'll be a part
My only real complaint was the presentation, but only because of the small type chosen and lack of double spacing between paragraphs. Although a wonderful story, it was a difficult read on the screen. The "***" break between sections was great, but the small type and spacing might discourage some readers from enjoying this story.
The time span of your story was clear and effective in illustrating the sequence of events.
The characters were realistic and came to life through dialogue and actions. I felt as though I knew them, and through your words grew to love them.
Now, for the ending... The ending became a little blurred, but only because I attempted to read through my tears.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story. I am excited about visiting your port to discover more writing gems.
Content and emotional stirrings of your writing deserves a 5.0+, but realistically since it does require some editing, how about a 4.5+++?