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1,003 Public Reviews Given
1,259 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Glass Wedding  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Whiskurz, and welcome to Writing.Com!

This was a sad little poem, but well-written. The emotion of your words grabs the reader and doesn't turn loose, even after the read is over.

The rhyme is scheme is perfect. Each rhyme fits well with the thoughts expressed; no word used simply for the sake of a rhyme. The lack of punctuation works allowing the reader to pause and reflect on each line as long as they want. *Wink* The poem is easily read.

This is a writing that any reviewer will not soon forget after closing the page. *Smile*

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Review of Star's Song  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Carla. I am so glad I discovered this Christmas gem. *Smile*

The story is well-known, yet creatively phrased in your words. The rhyme scheme is good; the rhythm not perfect...but the thoughts shared quite inspiring.

Each line tells THE story through the eyes of a shining star's humble glory.

A delightful, holiday read!
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Review of Spiders Web  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, peaceamy, and welcome to Writing.Com.

I have to ask if you have viewed this writing in your portfolio? Although it is decipherable, it is not an inviting read, at all.

That said, I actually did enjoy your writing. Each line is expressed simply yet persuasively and creatively. Although the rhyme and rhythm isn't perfect, it could flow quite easily if typed in a different format. You chose to punctuate only the last two lines. Was this intentional?

Personally, I would have rated this higher if I hadn't had to struggle to enjoy your words. If you choose to edit into a more presentable format, I would be happy to rate again. *Smile*
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Review of POPULARITY  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, writingmarc, and welcome to Writing.Com.

Well, your title and brief description managed to get me here just out of curiosity. I have to admit I liked your thoughts about all this online stuff going on these days. *Wink* I can understand celebrities, professionals, businesses, writers, bloggers and other reasons to possibly have thousands+ friends and/or followers, but for the average person to accept anyone and everyone who requests to become a friend...friends of friends of friends who the account holder has no clue of who they are sharing their posts? My personal opinion, of course.

Now, although I enjoyed your sharing your thoughts on today's social media, I can't really say I enjoyed trying to meander my way through your thoughts as written. Although it is a very short writing, I would still suggest separating your opinions into paragraphs. Make your views inviting to the reader rather than all clumped into a jungle of words. I feel you share some practical statements, yet the presentation detracts from their persuasiveness.

I liked your summation. Yes, it is important to be truly liked/loved and appreciated in life, but it has to be based on the real you...not your online persona, unless you're job hunting these days. Then your online persona needs all the whistles and bells you can manage, but social media content at this point can either rear its ugly head, or it can support of who you really are depending on what you choose to post. *Wink*
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Review of Inspiration  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, MissyD, and welcome to Writing.Com!

This was very inspirational and a philosophy that anyone can choose to embrace.

Although your thoughts are expressed in so few words, they manage to encourage someone experiencing a difficult moment, or remind someone else to realize they got through that challenging moment and to smile.

I have nothing to offer for an edit, so will just mention the line that impacted me the most, personally: Be patient through your sorrows, feel the pain, and experience the joy afterwards.

I'm glad you found the road that works for you and that you shared your views with us. *Smile*
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Review of Dream  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, born-san. Welcome to Writing.Com!

Your poem expresses some good feelings of a dream; the type you like to remember upon wakening.

It skips from an end rhyming poetry style to prose, which personally I found somewhat distracting since I love rhyming poetry. *Wink*

There is no metrical structure which lends more to prose than poetry.

Again my personal feeling is it lacks imagery with each line stated a little too matter-of-factly: this happened, then this happened, etc.

I do like the story told within each line but feel it just isn't emotional enough to capture the special feeling of finding someone and sharing a few tender moments.

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Review of Old  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Eliza, and welcome to Writing.Com.

Well, I guess your words might relate to me since I do get a few perks at some restaurants these days, but discounted airline and movie tickets are still out of my age bracket. *Wink*

I think what I enjoyed most was the respect shown throughout your writing. It is tastefully written while observing the differences of age. There are some lines that I smiled when reading, maybe because I'm close but not quite there yet?

The ending lines summarize the writing with the realization that someday you will be the subject of your words. *Wink*

The flow creates an easy read, even with no set rhythm or rhyme. It's just an honest opinion that us ol' folks can enjoy. *Smile*
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Review of Cats  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings, teagirl, and welcome to Writing.Com!

Being a cat's pet, I just had to pause and read your words. *Wink* I was not disappointed! My Eli was a feral kitten forced to adopt me when my daughter brought him home.

Oh, your words ring such truth: cats and their antics are so addictive.

Your writing is full of fun and truth, and this testimony comes from someone who NEVER thought she would adopt a cat!

The lack of rhythm within the reality of your writing doesn't bother me in the least. Yet, you manage such a delightful rhyme scheme that adds to the enjoyment of reading, but then lose it occasionally in stanzas four and six. Sorry, but that just seems to halt the roll and fun of reading (if that makes sense). *Rolleyes*

Just nitpicking, but: it's no bother, you said

It's just a delightful and funny read that any cat lover can relate to and a non-lover can surely enjoy.







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Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, writeforlife, and welcome to Writing.Com.

This was a delightful, little poem that tells it like it is.

It has a singsong beat that the reader enjoys, and then...there's a reminder revealed. *Delight*

Two lines that could really work wonders if remembered by everyone:

Just do what you can
with what you've been given,


Just a fun read with a message for everyone.
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Review of Seed of THANKS  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, KKs, and welcome to Writing.Com.

Your words are so genuine and appreciative for a gift presented to your family. Your sincere thankfulness expressed is as beautiful as the unexpected caring received.

Usually, I would discourage using caps sporadically in a writing, but these caps definitely needed to be used since they described your personal feelings.

Although many lines touched me, these two lines totally describe the love that someone shared:

You took what you could and passed it down to us.
Without any fanfare, backpatting or fuss.


I realize the gap between lines is due to the pictures posted elsewhere with this writing, but perhaps you could delete them in your Writing.Com portfolio item. A reader might miss scrolling further down to complete their read.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding each of us that we, too, can take what we can and pass it on...quietly. Blessings to your angel and to your family.
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Review by Kathleen
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Farmer's Daughter.

I noticed your post in "Please Review and thought I'd take a read through your poem. I'm really glad that your request caught my attention. *Smile*

The lines express the desperation of wanting and trying to move on, yet conveys how the deep pain inflicted by one thought to be forgotten haunts every attempt made. The last two lines of each stanza are original and support the overall thought of the writing.

Perhaps not capitalizing each line would allow your thoughts to flow more freely. Rather than pausing at the end of each line, the reader would naturally flow into the next. (Shhhh, but I've received the same suggestion in some of my own reviews.) *Wink*

Just my opinion, but misdeeds seems rather a soft word to use when haunted by memories.

I also feel this writing deserves more in one line than a versed cliche...it all boils down to.

To answer your questions in your posting: emotions are stirred within your reader and your thoughts are understood. *Smile*
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Review of Little Girl  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Samantha, and welcome to Writing.Com!

This poem definitely pulls the reader into the plight of a forgotten, hopeless little girl. Her desperation is described through each written line.

The rhyme scheme is good. While reading, I never felt as though you used a rhyme to compose the line, but created your words to fit the rhyme. Although the rhythm is out of sync occasionally, it doesn't cause the reader to stumble through each thought discovered in the writing.

Only suggestion is to remove the comma after the question mark in line four of the second stanza.

The story told is tragic, yet realistic. So sad to think a baby might be considered a 'tiny flaw' as expressed in your writing, yet so many newspaper headlines seem to reflect your candid description.

This was a touching story told in rhyme.
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Review of Can You see Me?  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, mr. Wordsmith.

Such a sad writing, yet so true. To be honest, the more I read your words, the higher the rating went. One read cannot really comprehend the reality and feeling of your writing. You've captured the life of the once comfortable, to living from paycheck-to-paycheck, to the realization of 'what happened?' Who's listening, who sees, and who cares? Government or food kitchens?

Does Costco realize they are feeding the homeless? Bless them for their samples.

Your words definitely caught my attention, even if it did take a few reads to really force me to feel the impact of each line.

The prose is simply stated and could use some punctuation (e:wink}, but the story told grabbed my interest, especially with the anticipation of voting next week.

Your writing is depressing, yet we know each word expresses the truth.

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Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, Christina.

This is quite a frightful writing that entertains, yet also somewhat confuses this reader. There were references to “Umbanda and Quimbanda” which I feel might be unfamiliar to several readers, including myself. Perhaps a brief explanation at the beginning or ending of the story would help the reviewer to understand without having to do an online search. Although I’ve heard the term ‘Salve’ used, it could puzzle others. I am curious, also, if the many spiritual entities mentioned (Chief Seven Keys, Esmeralda of the Night, etc.) have any real background or are they just marvelous creations of your own mind?

The imagery in your story captures the reader’s interest and invites them into the eerie setting of the cemetery. It was creative and I could envision the surroundings and feel the uneasiness of the silence.

The main character, Rosa, is well-developed throughout the story; I found myself caring about whether or not she would accomplish the task at hand.

The pace and flow of the story keeps the reader involved.

There were some minor punctuation problems: a comma or period is always placed inside the closing quotation mark. These minor typos did not in any way distract me from enjoying the story.

‘trabalhos’ tonight one more time,”
“I must do this,”
“It’s time,” Babalorixá Antonio said
have to do what we have to do,” she murmured
either basements, chapels or basements chapels?
She put each red apple next to the each candle

As mentioned, I found this to be an intriguing tale. The ending certainly leaves an opening for yet another chapter. *Wink*

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Review of Beautiful  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, RiverCat, and welcome to Writing.Com.

I enjoyed your short, yet inspirational writing about a gloomy day. I think most actually do welcome a gloomy day occasionally. For me, it becomes a day of cleansing my old thoughts and nourishing the new. *Wink*

No suggestions on how to improve on the feelings evoked by rain hitting the window pane.

Just an enjoyable read...sigh.
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Review of We Need to Talk  
Review by Kathleen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!

The storyline was entertaining. This was a believable life situation that was set in an unusual location.

The descriptions used to define the story’s setting invited the reader into the scene. Although the place was secondary to the plot, it provided quite an interesting backdrop. How could a reader not enjoy mentally viewing the “rounded hill crowded with graves that lined the top like a strange stone mohawk?”

The characters were just two ordinary people faced with a realistic matter and through the dialogue they were planted in the heart of the reader. Their conversation was simply stated but this reader found herself hooked on every word, every nuance, hoping for a clue as to where the words would lead.

The reaction of David to the news was plausibly stated; again the simplicity of his responses contributed to the story’s believability.

The ending left the reader feeling the same relief as Peg which indicates this reader was drawn into the tale from beginning to end.
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Review by Kathleen
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!

This was an entertaining story that provided the reader with some genuine giggles.

The beginning was a little different in addressing the reader personally, but it worked and made me feel as though you just knew that I’d drop by eventually to enjoy reading. *Wink*

The main characters were likable and comical, but I never really felt a connection with them.

The theme of the story -- boy meets girl, boy wants girl, etc. – was effectively stated throughout the story, yet was never really developed descriptively. Personally, I feel there are too many incomplete thoughts. This touch used sparingly can impact an idea, but used so repetitively in this story became distracting.

A few necessary edits caught my eye:

Except for the fact that
go to to the movies, hang out
each others apartments

Overall, the humor does create a delightful read. It’s definitely a tale narrated from a guy’s perspective that can be appreciated by a woman. *Laugh*
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Review by Kathleen
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!

The opening paragraph managed to capture my interest; it set the mood of the story and aroused my curiosity. Why should a young girl dressed all in white, skin smothered in makeup, and pinned up hair be trying to comprehend her reflection?

The plot develops interestingly with the introduction of Kevin. Unfortunately, I’m left feeling somewhat confused as to why Jenna feels it is necessary to send Kevin away and marry Jim. Perhaps if the pain of her past was presented in more detail, the reader would sympathize and understand her decision. What could possibly make her want to raise a child in what might be a loveless home other than the briefly-mentioned thought that Jim would be a wonderful father?

The characters were believable despite the mystery of Jenna’s past. Without knowing the details, I find myself wanting the ‘happy fairytale’ ending for Jenna with her true love, Kevin.

I did like the tense moments in church as Jenna waited breathlessly for a voice to interrupt the ceremony.

The ending seems appropriate but, in my opinion, really doesn’t resolve the conflict.
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Review by Kathleen
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!

This was an entertaining read with a mention of mystery, romance, and horror woven through the lines.

The setting of a masquerade party allowed the appeal of mystery and romance to evolve convincingly.

The characters were realistic even disguised behind a jeweled mask and jester’s costume. Vera’s appearance at the party is clearly explained and the reader is soon cheering for a successful mission.

The dialogue helped to develop the main characters.

The story progressed fast enough to keep the reader interested with just a hint that all is not what it appears to be.

The ending was somewhat a surprise even knowing there would be a twist to the story.

I must comment that the presentation is not at all inviting; it’s a struggle to through your story. I suggest double spacing between the paragraphs. Old folks like me need a little room to keep the eyes focused. *Blush*
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Review by Kathleen
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!

This was an entertaining read about love long ago.

Although the opening paragraph isn’t strong in drawing the reader’s attention, the second paragraph manages to attract attention to the main character and the storyline.

The setting of the story was good and you continued to stay focused on the details of the time period.

The characters were realistic in their actions, attire, and dialogue.

The one line regarding Anthony wanting Hanna gone leaves a question in this reader’s mind. Why did Trey and Hanna feel as though they would not be together and what was the conflict between Anthony and Hanna? Since these statements were expressed in the story, a little more detail would allow the reader to tie up the loose ends in their minds. My thought is that she was not deemed worthy of Trey due to her status in the kingdom?

The presentation is not inviting and could turn away potential readers. I strongly urge you to consider double spacing between paragraphs. As is, it is difficult to maneuver through the read.

It was an enjoyable story that provided a believable journey back in time.
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Review of Lie to me  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, Linzi.

Well, your Title and Brief Description attracted my attention so I thought I'd take a peek. (Hope you don't mind if I mention here to other members that enticing Titles and Brief Descriptions are the best advertisement for your writing.) Thanks, Linzi, for your patience. *Wink*

So, once I discovered the interesting Title, I then discovered your interesting words. Emotional, raw words that tell a story of deceit and trust misplaced.

The recipient of your text is unknown as are the buried secrets yet the induced pain and betrayal is vivid in each line.

Just one question: it is stated that the truth is buried deep inside then it mentions no truths are known. Instead of expressing a somewhat contradiction, might "You share no truths" clear up the inconsistency yet still reveal the intended thought? Just my personal observation and suggestion. *Smile*

An exclamation point is used to end a strong command or a shocking/surprising statement. Your words should and do communicate the intensity of this line so one exclamation point is definitely enough.

One misspelling: bare should be bear

This is a strongly-worded writing that definitely sets a mood for the reader and although we know not the recipient(s) nor the secrets, we feel the emotion.

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Review of Wings of a Song  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Wayfaring Dreamer.

The words in your writing do describe how a song can change a melancholy mood for just a little while. I'm sure everyone can relate to this poem.

There were some descriptive phrases that read nearly as musical as a song. The mixture of perfect and forced rhyme works easily in this poem without distracting the reader and each line flows easily into the next.

This was an enjoyable read.

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Review of Time  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, William. Welcome to Writing.Com!

Personally, I feel writing in styles of structured poetry is quite challenging. Although it leads you where you must follow, to do so in convincing words is an enjoyable, yet difficult assignment.

You were lead, you followed, and you created an interesting poem as your assignment. *Delight*

The presentation is good, adherence to the poetic style is excellent, and the emotion in your words is felt by the reader.

The only line I personally disagree with is "Beautiful only when it lasts." Isn't is really beautiful while it lasts? One might regret the investment of heart and soul when it ends yet in those moments, it is beautiful.

The story you tell is touching despite the outcome. The ending leaves the reader with hope. I liked it! *Smile*

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Review of The Changing  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello, Bobber. Welcome to Writing.Com!

The concept of your story sounds interesting. Unfortunately, you failed to grab my attention at the beginning making me want to read further.

There is too much information about the house and its surroundings causing me to lose interest in the story. Why would I care about a patterned flagstone patio? Perhaps the background details could be added as parts of the story later or in shorter blurbs, if it eventually pertains to the story's plot. I realize you put a lot of detailed writing effort into the land's description but it's too early to determine how it might tie into the story.

It's mentioned that there are many parties where the guests feel uncomfortable due to no railings on the patio but later it's stated the only visitors were either family that the land called back (which to me says they are already familiar with the patio), or curiosity seekers (who would not be invited to any parties).

Also, it's mentioned there was an edge in the morning air, followed by this morning was the same as most, and then added the only thing that made this morning even more different. Three different scenarios for the same morning?

Suddenly, it seems the reading audience is drawn into the story with the line "The stories that we have grown up hearing, etc."

The only main character introduced so far, Patrick, has not really been developed in this reader's opinion. He graduated from high school as a human, is now itchy, and drinks coffee spiked with brandy (thanks,mom) to take the edge off, oh and tonight he would finally be able to reveal what he really looks like as an alien.

The last paragraph is confusing, too. So, this species of aliens mutated over the years from dragons?

An extra 'been' thrown into this sentence: The last few generations had been progressively been forced further

The presentation of your story is inviting as is the punctuation and spelling. It was not a struggle to read, just a struggle to stay focused.

As noted above, the idea for your story sounds interesting. My personal opinion (remember it is MY opinion only) is there's really not enough excitement or clarity to draw me back for another chapter. There is a real possibility here for a fascinating story but you first need to get the reader hooked into the idea of following Patrick through his transformation.
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Review of Wingéd  
Review by Kathleen
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, relift, and welcome to Writing.Com!

I really enjoyed the story. It's an endearing writing that anyone would enjoy reading.

Although very little dialogue, the characters come to life. The reader is there, not breathing, as we watch the sculptor quietly create his masterpiece. Drawn to his skillful art through the eyes and thoughts of his adoring fan.

Yes, I enjoyed the struggle to read, but could you make that font a little larger? It's really hard to view. *Wink*

It is quite creatively written, yet some sentences run on forever. These sentences could easily be broken into several rather than one. This reader has lost track of what's going on within that sentence by the time it's been read

I honestly love the story, love the characters, love the theme, but became distracted with a paragraph composed of one sentence. This could be so much more with a little editing...oh, and a font size change. *Smile*

Overall, I am so glad I took the time to enjoy your words.
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