Hello, A Jersey Girl. Isn't it fun to discover writings written way back before you became a member of Writing.Com? I found one taped in an old scrapbook that I wrote when my husband was in the Navy and, of course, had to post it in my port, too.
I found a little spark of magic plus words of wisdom in your poem. Your words just have to recall some memories of youth to anyone reading them...well, anyone beyond the age of the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and unicorns.
Since this is a relic , I'm just going to comment that my time spent reading was well-spent and enjoyed.
I found this to be a delightful and insightful read. A poem very well expressed and you should feel very proud of it! It's the ancestry of your love of writing. I'm so glad you found it and chose to share it with us. You were a creative writer even back in those high-school days.
Hello, Unique Chapter. This was an intriguing, albeit a little different approach to a nature writing.
Most of the lines slide off the tongue allowing the reader to merely enjoy your words. The last two lines just seem to twist the tongue a little...or at least my tongue.
I like the picture and mood you paint of nature. The rhyme scheme is good. Personally, I wish the last two lines could flow as easily as the rest of the writing..
Your unique approach of nature welcoming us to enjoy its wealth of pleasures creates an inviting read.
Hi, Harry. It has been awhile since I've enjoyed reading one of your storoem's and I am so glad that the 'Random Read!' button popped this one onto my screen. I noticed this is an older writing of yours but new to me.
The feeling of rush, rush so we can finally enjoy some time together was so truly depicted in your words. Just reading them nearly set me in a panic to read faster so no one would be angry when I didn't r&r this in a timely manner. The first six stanzas draw the reader into the stress of last minute details.
Then, you draw the reader into an entirely different emotion...the stress is totally deflated and a believable, crippling fear is introduced. Suddenly, hope and love overcome the triviality of everyday life.
Whew, your words totally drained my emotions!
Sorry, but my only suggestion is to keep writing and entertaining us!
Hi, Nicki. Congratulations on your recent much-deserved promotion to Moderator!
Your webpage is wonderful! The layout and content make it so inviting to scroll through with a promise of further delight wherever one chooses to click. The musical selection makes one want to linger and explore even further.
The easy access to your writings lures the viewer to click away and enjoy your flair for words. The graphics add a definite touch of elegance to the page. The list of friends and those who have inspired you encourage the visitor to click and enjoy a word or two of theirs, also. Of course, meeting you in color, is a nice surprise, too! The roster of the many groups in which you are active, gives just a hint to how much you contribute to our community.
Alright, so this shade of green I wear is not totally due to the upcoming St. Patrick Day celebrations, but perhaps a little jealousy in your ability to create such a phenomenal webpage. I loved everything about it!
Hi, S M Ferguson. Congratulations on your recent much-deserved promotion to Moderator!
This was an uplifting poem reminding us of those who have touched our lives with a kind word or act of unselfishness, plus reminds us how little it takes to bestow a little kindness on others.
It was such an easy read with no stumbling over lines or thought behind the words. Just a delightful read with which to start any day.
The word, Lightworker, catches the reader's imagination and encourages them to discover meaningful, alluring synonyms in their own work.
Hello again, Kai. One good read demands another and I found it.
A simple statement of standing on the line, not over or behind it. Then, admitting a brief thought to perhaps straddling the line as a compromise. Decision made: standing on the line with a determination to erode it and the separation or segregation it might draw.
I am amazed at the thought behind your words...or at least, the thought it aroused in me, as your reader.
Suggestions? None. I thank you for the sentiment of erasing that line, be it towards someone else or ourself and our determination in what we can accomplish when standing on the line. Amazing thought!
Hello, Magoo. Well, while checking out the latest winners in one of my favorite contests, I found your entry as winning first place. Although I'm sure it was a tough decision for Monty from all the talented entries, after reading, I applaud Monty on his hard decision.
This was an easy read to glide through with no rhyme scheme snarls, stumbling over unknown words, or reading again for clarity. There were words in some lines that I feel could be deleted to enhance the rhythm, but a moot point considering its entertainment value. The use of punctuation guided the reader's tempo. The presentation invited the reader to just enjoy.
Just enjoy is exactly what this reader did. Oh, I might mention, too, that I laughed the all the while I enjoyed reading.
Hi, Pat. A fresh poem that depicts the picture throughout each line. You've sketched the prompt in words that allows the reader to share the simple joys of your character.
Phrases such as sunlit fingers of grass dance, energy recklessly pulses, and sacrifices to the wind feeds the imagination.
A persuasive mixture of words that prompts us to remember the simple joys of life can often release our burdens...if even for a moment while reading!
Hello, Phlegyas the Mindjuggler. After reading your bio, which was entertaining, I knew I just had to read more.
I believed that I would be entertained but not sure I was ready to be totally drowning in your words. You might consider offering a lifeboat to readers.
The depth of your words is not something a reviewer can read through once and comment. It demands to be read over and over to capture their own interpreted meaning of each line.
The first line captures your reader as they have no doubt what follows will speak just as strongly to them.
Suggestions? I don't think any suggestion could possibly improve the words/thoughts shared in this writing.
The introduction of the story was interesting, enticing the reader to know more about Martha's plight.
The storyline was believable. The effect of the situation on the main character does seem a little over the top, however. Sudden grief might reflect the visual of Martha's deteriorating state with graying hair and new angles of facial expression, but so shockingly, so soon? This was a decision she pondered, not something that was suddenly thrust into her life's path.
The resentful look of the doctor doesn't quite seem appropriate since she performed the deed apparently without any legal argument such as mother's health, child's development, etc.
The story states that Martha is not strong enough to stand for too long, but she is suddenly able to run outside midst buffeting winds?
Well, the ending is comforting, although personally rather than learning a lesson, I would rather believe that Martha has realized her selfishness and is truly remorseful. Just my pov, of course.
The story's beginning managed to draw me in and wanting to read more about what had happened to leave you alone. Unfortunately, the ending still leaves me wondering what happened.
Other than a little ranting and raving, the main character really never came to life in the story. I feel as though I never got to know her so really didn't care what happened.
The storyline, if expanded upon, could become quite a heart wrenching read. Using the current story as an outline, perhaps you could flash back to the family' s life, detail a little more about the incident, and engage the reader in the girl's next plan to join her family or her struggle back to life.
Well, this was rather an interesting twist of storyline depicting the featured picture.
The story's opening was clear and drew me in enough to wonder why a war was being planned and just how Seth would add to the plot.
The dialogue supported the development of your characters, although I feel dialect of the time this story occurs could have added more depth to their roles.
Although guns were available in these days, I personally feel musket or pistol might have been more appropriate to use for this time frame. Just my pov, of course, since I'm not a real history buff.
I guess since this was fantasy, reassembling body parts could be realistic. Not being fantasy-oriented, I imagine this was a creative solution to the problem of bringing the King back to life.
Overall, it was an entertaining read. Personally, with the atmosphere of the story, war, death, rebirth, I personally feel there could have been more action rather than just story telling.
This was a comforting read...a reminder of our own special place to visit and talk over the current crisis of life with God or deity of choice.
The storyline's beginning was enough to capture and hold my interest but the plot soon progressed to reveal how the solace of the tree and its bridge to God became a pillar in your life. From prom date to grown up decisions creates almost a comical twist to your writing as I personally realize how my prayers have unfolded through the years.
Thanks for sharing this inspirational story that reminds us of our own special place to make that connection.
I feel you have done a wonderful job of relating to your reader the conceivable thoughts of a blind child. I also like the descriptions of how Grandmother would impart images to Wendy through ways she might visualize the world.
It's easy to imagine Wendy perhaps feeling her own cheeks, then an apple to picture a little of how Sarah looks. Also, finding all the pennies while doing tasks was an imaginative way for Grandmother to teach Wendy.
Noticed just one little typo...To me, it was as if the branches of the tree were scratching at the sky.
This was an endearing story told in a different format. Personally, I feel some of the thoughts expressed by Wendy and the tools Grandmother used to educate her about the world could be edited as an idea for an informative children's story.
Quite an entertaining read that held my interest and breath from beginning to end.
The opening was intriguing while leaving enough questions as to where the direction of the story would lead.
The storyline progressed smoothly allowing me to simply enjoy the words rather than having to scroll back to understand the flow.
I was drawn to the characters through their dialogue and actions; even the fire seemed to develop a personality.
Although the ending summarized the story quite delicately, I find it a little...stretched? How long did I sleep?{/} A scar and grave markers overgrown with foilage after a nap?
Overall, the story was so descriptive and captivating but the ending? I couldn't quite discard it as inconsequential as Jassara did.
This was a heart-wrenching story that left me nearly breathless. The agony of such a loss screams in each line written.
The story line had me hooked from the opening through the end. The mother's constant torment and heartache drains the reader emotionally. Every word draws the reader deeper into her turmoil.
The entire story is gripping, but the little extras such as the bumper sticker dilemma enhances the mood of the main character.
Although a sad story, it was a captivating read that makes me want to delve deeper into your port.
I found your verse intriguing. Personally to me, it read of understanding, patience, diversity, yet strength. Feelings we all must cultivate in today's real world.
Your words struck me with the truth that there are people who never learned the paths they tread are dangerous, yet there are others willing to share the reality that their paths are not acceptable, i.e., my pepper spray and car keys threaded 'tween my fingers.
Just a few things I noticed and questioned...
He mistook my soft words and kind hear hear? Not sure I follow. To strong for someone to push you around Too strong? I will not lost sleep to fear Perhaps, lose sleep?
I loved your words...sometimes even a pacifist has to draw a line.
Hello, Lou. I found this powerful tribute through 'Random Read.' This feature always seems to pop some interesting words onto my puter screen.
I love the way you quoted Dion's song at the beginning and end of your homage to our old friend, Martin.
You've created a wonderful reminder of what he contributed to everyone in his short 39 years.
Ususally, ending stanzas in the same wording isn't all that impressive, but your repetitive endings just reinforced what a Godly man Dr. King was to so many.
The presentation draws the reader into your words. It's apparent you've either followed Dr. King or done the research to support your writing.
Greetings, Hunter's Moon. These were beautiful words and thoughts to which any mother can relate.
The rhyme scheme wasn't quite perfect, but the feeling and words really touch the heart of your reader. The graphic you chose certainly adds to the emotion of your poem.
This portion of one line is so powerful..."in pain we both were born." It speaks to me not only of the present pain, but all the future trials and errors of becoming a mom. A treasured, yet scary title to hold as you enter this new chapter in life.
This was an enjoyable read that imparts memories and smiles.
Hi, fyn. My first click on Random Reads tonight and what a surprising read it delivered to my screen!
Your words are woven in golden thread, in my opinion. I feel your writing can apply to any life with the constantly changing threads, although I'm sure in some lives the hue of the the threads are much more vivid and the stitches not quite as straight or tight.
The thought behind your lines keeps me wanting to read this writing over and over again.
I have enjoyed and have been amazed by many writings that I've mentioned as a 'Must Read,' but right now I'm staring at my computer screen in absolute appreciation for the words I've just read.
Hello, jaya. Your words possess beautiful imagery and imaginary sounds for the reader to enjoy. You have managed to whisk this reviewer off to a moment of delightful escape.
Although I really enjoyed your creative words, I do have to point out my notice of an excessive usage of "the." Does it really add anything to every line where used?
Other than that suggestion as my personal pov, this was a picturesque writing.
Greetings, Kristi. Although I admire those able to creatively write the newly-named Alpha Torqueo style, I truly applaud your creativity in pulling it altogether with viable lines that entertain the reader. No line seems forced just to meet the criteria.
You have managed to add flair and imagery to a very strict writing form, including chosen words for "Q, X, and Z."
I'm sure your imagination will feed the appetite of many other members looking for a new challenge.
Hello, Ken. Oh, these are wonderful words for any young woman to treasure and hope to follow throughout their life. I'm sure your daughter will cherish your wisdom and poem.
I particularly enjoyed the reference to no perfume until the blossom blooms.
The ending reflects what every parent hopes for their children...to plant the beauty within their soul.
The extra effort you took in perfecting the rhythm and rhyme adds to the pleasure of your poem.
Oh, your poem makes me shudder with delight. I honestly cannot stop reading it over and over again.
It pulses with darkness; every line is quite creative and riveting!
I would pick out a line or two to feature, but I would have to choose too many and give away your entire writing to others in my r&r rather than encourage them to read and enjoy.
No spelling or grammatical errors noticed.
I just happened upon your writing, read it, and was totally entertained.
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I loved everything about it!