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Review of Losing My Words  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. That's some experience, to have your words spilling out of your ears and nose. But I think I understand. *Smile*

I did wonder about your title - if you meant loosing or losing. Either one works, I think.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

 Breakfast of Champions  (E)
My words have tumbled all over the floor.
#1000224 by Kenzie
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Review of L'aura del Campo  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a fascinating blog. It jumps from here to there, goes hither and yon, speaks of such a variety of things. *Smile* It's also colorful, atrractive for the eyes. (Well, maybe except for the orange text.)

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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228
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is short, but it says so much. I liked the transition between what can make one feel good and the cloud that can change things entirely. Indeed, one never knows what will elicit a bad memory...or a good one, for that matter.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Parking Lot  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This has some excellent word choices.

Like: I kissed my dreams. I love that!

Reflecting the beauty of nature around us while being alone can be more difficult than when we're with someone special. You've made that point rather well.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good for you. I'm glad that you have created this page (and forum) to show the works of those who are no longer with us. Some of these words take on an even greater meaning, since we know there will be no more (here on earth, anyway). Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, bless your heart. This is quite an essay/project for those times - when we had to use typewriters. (In my 8th grade year, we had to write about every US President until that time. What a project. Most of our mothers typed them for us and used carbons so that there would be a copy of everything in case a page or pages got lost.)

Anyway, you've organized this well here. *Smile* I certainly won't try editing something this OLD. However, I do think you have a word missing in your explanation.

I currently present it you here with its bad writing completely intact. Did you mean..."it to you here..."?

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (3.5)
Phew. I have to admit that I got tired and weary just reading about the classes to which your young child is being exposed. What's really odd is that just last night, I was in a class with a group of Christian women who spoke of the "busyness" of their own families. Each one had changed their patterns, insisting that each child have only one "extra" activity or class to attend every three months. They all believe that letting children be children, letting them learn to use their imaginations and creativity is just as important as any team sports or classes. Plus, it gives them more time to do family activities, where they can share those virtues about which you wrote.

I have some suggestions:

I might use "The Classes We Attend" as the title, rather than "The Classes We Go Go."

At nine months, he started with daycare at a sweet lady’s, followed by different daycares depending on my whims of getting him the best.

At nine months, he was cared for by a sweet lady, followed by different day care centers, depending on my whims and on getting him the best care.

At a frivolous four years of age...

I would probably break this into two sentences, or reword somehow so that it isn’t one long sentence. I also believe that Montessori should be capitalized.

And again, I am waiting, for the ernest five, so I can take a swing at Tae Kwon Do and Violin.
earnest

I have been running in this headless chicken mode...

Another very long sentence.

I havent really thought...
haven’t or have not

And in all this time while dragging my son to classes, getting him ready, coming back cranky to feed the cranky kids, I scowl, shout, scream, yell, stress and strain myself.

I drag my son to these classes. While getting him ready I’m cranky, and I am too cranky to feed the kids when we get back. I scowl, shout, scram, yell, stress and strain myself and my children.

I rant at times, trying to communicate the fact that I am spending lots of time, money and effort on his classes and he better learn, he should consider himself lucky and be appreciative of my efforts. Instead not whine and drone.

I try to communicate that I am spending lots of time, money and effort on his classes and that he should consider himself lucky and be appreciative of my efforts, instead of whining and droning.

And it is at these times when I am behaving badly, when I am not proud of myself, when I cringe when a stranger catches me in the unrighteous act, it this then I take a step back.

When I behave badly, when I am not proud of myself, when I cringe when a stranger catches me in the unrighteous act, I take a step back.

It is in these times, when I am being my worst, I think the really real things that I have to teach and pass on to my children, the really true things that i need to pass on, are kindness, goodness, softness, calmness, truthfulness, courteousness, gracefulness, graciousness, thankfulness, courageousness, cleanliness, godliness, humour, sympathy, empathy and elegance in thought, word and deed, none of which i am exhibiting at the current moment.

Another very long sentence.

Perhaps: When I am behaving badly, I think about the important things things that I have to teach and pass on to my children. I need to pass kindness...(whole list) none of which I exhibit in my frenzy.

Just as Hinduism is weaved into the fabric of life, I need to take the time and effort to weave all these virtues and qualities into our lives, and that will be the greatest legacy I could have passed on to my children.

woven. Plus, I would make that two sentences.

And guess what, this is all within my grasp, within my reach and within me. And guess what, I don’t even have to teach these things, all I have to do is practice. And by sheer osmosis, my children will absorb it all. The seeds of good virtues and qualities would have been sown in them, day by day, moment by moment.

This is all within my grasp, within my reach and within me. And guess what. I don’t even have to teach these things; all I have to do is practice them. By sheer osmosis, my children will absorb these lessons. The seeds of good virtues and qualities will have been sown in them, day by day, moment by moment.

These qualities coupled with any talents my children hone is a dynamite, potent combination which will spiral them upward and there is no stopping them and whatever life throws at them, they will be able to catch it, make the best of it, and probably take a class of it, after all.

These qualities, coupled with any talents my children hone, is a dynamite, potent combination which will spiral them upward. There will be no stopping them, and whatever life throws at them, they will be able to catch, making the best of it.


Thanks for sharing. And, welcome to Writing.com.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent job. I could almost imagine being that little child. (Hmmm. Maybe that's because I was 4 when my brother was born?? *Bigsmile*)

This one sentence just doesn't sound "right."
I sat here thinking, Should it be 'all babies do is' or 'all babies do are'?

“All babies do are cry and smell bad.

I would probably change it to: Babies cry and smell bad.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

P.S. Love those peanut butter and banana sandwiches myself. Well...peanut butter and just about anything, actually. *Laugh*
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Review of When you fast  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
An excellent devotional for the Lenten season. Thanks for sharing your own personal experience with fasting. Indeed, after fasting even a short time, real foods taste so wonderful.

Food has become almost a god in our culture. It would be good for more of us to try fasting, especially, since as you pointed out, Jesus said, "When you fast..."

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful sermon, JazzyTay . *Smile* We need reminders of the importance of being thankful. Too many of us are great at being whiners.

I always tell folks that it's okay to whine a little (David did!), but that we need to always be grateful as well (David usually ended his gripes with thanksgiving).

Thanks for sharing, and welcome to Writing.com.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I had never seen this poll before. But there it was on the first page and I had to find out and vote. Anyone who read my writing knows exactly which one I am. *Smile* Hooray for commas!

I'm surprised that in 2 years, this only has 80 votes. Strange what attracts folks to polls...

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

P.S. No middle ground, huh? How unfair. *Laugh*
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Review of Who Am I?  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Vicky, I love you blog. I've read and commented a few times, but I somehow neglected rating/reviewing. Hmmm.

In your beginning, you said:

My plan for this journal/blog is to just talk about me, my daily life, my kids, and whatever God puts on my heart. Pray for me that I may be obediant in this.

If we just do that - write what God puts on our hearts and remain obediant about doing so, then we can stand tall.

And...if some days are deeper than others? So be it. *Bigsmile*

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of The Key  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this, Daizy May . What a wonderful way to envision our entry into Heaven. I loved that you gave the keys life and allowed them to wonder about their own fates. *Smile* As usual, your rhymes and rhythm are good. I smiled as I read this one aloud.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like it. Yes, there is a lot to be said about being small. *Bigsmile* But I never thought about it in terms of being a mighty oak or a small bonsai. Thanks for making me ponder. With good words upon the page.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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240
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Love your blog. It gets personal and you let us see into your world a bit. But you also show depth and share some of what bothers you or what you are pondering. That allows us to ponder those same things if we choose. It's a good mix.

Thankis for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Do Unto Others  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good one, MizZ . I think more folks have the problem of not treating others kindly. Interesting that this is about not treating oneself that way.

I liked the breaks where you've prompts, encourages, nudges, then prods.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is an interesting expression of what friendship is and isn't and about seeing people as they are inside. A good reminder. *msile*

I do have a suggestion:

If your my friend

Should be:

If you're my friend.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Another  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good rhymes and rhythm. (I much prefer soft rhymes to forced.) And I can tell that there's some emotion (maybe history?) behind the words as well.

Since you have used some punctuation, I think I'd use it throughout.

You know what's really sad? The fellows who go from woman to woman leaving children in the wake...and not taking responsibility for any of them.

It may be less often, but now we have dead beat moms too.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Pull Up A Stone  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I cannot wait to see this folder fill up, Bud. You do have a congregation, Bud. God has given you a congregation to care for right here at WDC. I'm convinced of that. You're preaching to those belly button folks right here - or the ones who wander in from who knows where.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of U.A. Flight 93  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
An excellent poem, Shannon . It has good rhyme and rhythm, and it tells the story of 9/11 and specifically Flight 93 rather well. I think there are many, like you, who think of Todd Beamer when they hear, "Let's roll."

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I have noticed quite a few things written about peanut butter recently, and since I love the stuff, I guess I'll have to read them all. *Smile*

This was quite informative, although I did wonder how you decided this:

It is assumed that a decision has been made to purchase Jif peanut butter...

A few suggestions:

When standing in the grocery store, one might think to them self, "I need peanut butter."

Should be:
When standing in the grocery store, one might think to oneself, "I need peanut butter." Although
...one might think, "I need peanut butter" would also work just fine, without any "self." *Bigsmile*

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

 A Peanut Butter Life  (ASR)
That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Your turn. What food is your favorite?
#377425 by Kenzie



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Review of Writing Class  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like it. How, exactly, does one write about what one knows...if it is early on in one's life? I think, then, one has to write about family and friends. *Smile*

Or, like you, they can write about not knowing what to write. Great idea.

I believe this one only needs a comma, since it is not two complete sentences or ideas:

Speak to me that I may know and write; that I can bestow your wonderful knowledge to others.

Love that last sentence! Excellent word crafting there.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Favourite Tree  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (3.0)
There are some lovely thoughts in this poem. But I do believe that much of the rhyming was forced. You've also used some incorrect grammar, and although this is sometimes okay for poetry, it just doesn't fit here.

For example:

to watch it as it growed.

Should be:
to watch it as it grew.
...which, of course would not rhyme.

And:
The first fruit that growed,

Should be:
The first fruit that grew,


Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review of Does race matter?  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think you've covered most possible responses in your poll. I did notice that one sentence used a period and the others did not. I always wonder at the motivation of folks who create polls. *Smile*

I said I was completely tolerant. But that's not the word I would use. A psychologist I know once told me that our big problem in the world today is that we're tolerant. Instead we should love, honor, respect, hold persons in high regard. That's much better than just tolerating them. I think he has a point. When you look up tolerant or tolerance in the dictionary, the word forbearing is mentioned. And that means...
to be patient or self-controlled when subject to annoyance or provocation. So? Tolerating individuals or races really doesn't seem appropriate to me.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thanks for writing this and for being willing to think about America and Americans in a different way. *Smile*

When we think in generalizations or in stereotypes, we're always wrong. Still, many Americans think of the British as being either pompous royalty or those with Cockney accents begging on a street corner. *Smile* We know better, though.

And yet, the world thinks America is full of greedy (and often rude) Americans. That's, perhaps, because those can afford to travel the world are usually more well off than Joe Average American. *Smile* And, while they might not want to be rude, they might be self-centered enough to not know that they should have researched local customs before traveling abroad...so that they don't misbehave.

In earlier history, of course, England was the "ruler" of the seas. And our history indicates that was not for human rights issues, but for conquering and taking over the world. But we were never taught to be angry about this. Nor about the behaviors of our country's earliest times. It was what it was.

We - the Joe/Josephine Average Americans - like to think that when we are "helping" the world it is because of human rights. And we're actually quite surprised when people point out a whole other reason and motive for our politicians to help citizens of other countries. I think, rather than being all about helping other people or all about oil or other commodoties that we need, that it's probably somewhere in the middle.

Thanks again for being open to pondering about this.

I did notice one place where you needed a space between words, but when I went back I could not find it again. I also might consider changing the paragraph that has lots of phrases in parenthesis.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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