You have explained yourself well. I have personally never understood most sports fans, but especially baseball.
Oh, I lived in Pittsburgh, and I did get excited when every one of our sports teams did a great job and we were termed the City of Champions. That was fun. But I never attended a baseball game.
I also lived in FL, so as a family we did go to exhibition games when the teams were there for spring training. My son and husband loved watching the games. I loved the sense of community amongst the regulars in the stands.
I used to be like that about racing cars. That was my sport.
Anyway, I did enjoy reading about why you are a baseball fan. I wouldn't change a thing.
Such excellent advice written in poetic form with specific direction for a contest. Impressive.
As I read your poem aloud, I absolutely loved how it flowed effortlessly. Again, impressive.
It also appears that you followed the prompts. Well done.
If only everyone would read multiple stories and poem about how to be happier, and if only some of them would sink in. It saddens me to see so many people walking around with scowls on their faces and being so obviously unhappy. That is not what our Creator intended.
That had to be difficult to write. Nay I offer these suggestions:
1. Always read your writings aloud, but especially poetry. Doing so will let you find the places that you need to tweak, either because the length if lines hasn't worked or a word or 2 needs chabged.
2. Never force a rhyme. It's much better to use a soft rhyme than to use a perfect rhyme that doesn't work well.
Interesting read. You explained your own part in getting ready, as well as those in charge of the safety of the voyage. My only disappointment was that there didn't seem to be enough explanation about what the world looks like from a flying balloon. I remember when I first rode in a helicopter, I wanted everyone to see and feel what I did through my words.
Your poem tells us that life is a gift, and it is. I appreciate being reminded of that.
As someone who began writing poetry at age 8 (and who is now almost 72!), and as someone who studied poetry in high school and college, I have always had the most trouble critiquing free verse. It's a work of heart that reminds me of abstract art.
In this case, reading it aloud often does not help as it does with poetry with a specific number of lines and a specific rhyming pattern.
With free verse, all I can say is that I enjoyed it.
Thanks for what your flimsy poem. It appears that you did just what you were supposed to do, per the prompt.
Perhaps I have shared with you when I read one of your other works of heart about the gentleman who I met online years ago. He actually supported his family by writing poetry, publishing it and selling his poetry books, and by doing poetry readings. He believed that every poem should be read aloud.
As I read your poem aloud, the verse about the cane and porch were more awkward than the first verse. You have the right amount of syllables, but something made me stumble. I wish that I could be more specific. Perhaps if you read it aloud you will discover what I experienced.
Your poem is spot on. Harboring hate affects everything that we do and say. Or think.
"like slowly pulling jagged thorns
from soft flesh"
Ouch. Yes!
I was so blessed to have a mother and grandmother who encouraged me/us to always be proud of those around us who have had accomplishments. We were taught to celebrate the successes of others. And we were taught to never be envious. After all, the Ten Commandments tell us that we are not supposed to covet our neighbor's stuff.
That's an excellent idea. Frankly, I think that everyone who pushes socialism should be required to live it for at least a year, preferably more. As you pointed out, that is especially true of rich and famous celebrities. Most of them want that for us, but not for themselves.
I've heard a few of those non-apology apologies or insincere apologies in my lifetime. Some people become experts at giving them, to the point where it makes you wonder if they even know that's what they are doing.
I can imagine rich and famous people paying someone to create such nonsense.
Writing should never take a back seat when someone wants to write. It's something that you need to make time for if you want to be a writer. Remember, every skill takes practice.
I would only suggest that you divide this into more paragraphs.
You wrote a good limerick. How did you do with the country back when you wrote it?
This appeared randomly when I clicked on the read and review button. I was glad to discover that you didn't write a limerick about current events with the royals.
What an excellent way to describe the changing of seasons. I wish that I could look at autumn and winter with someone else's eyes. They are my least favorite seasons because I hate cold and snow. I have since I was a child.
That probably makes me seek out people who seem to love or like these seasons, or at least they can pretend.
"A touch of frost" sounds so nice, until I remember that frost means the cold that I abhor.
Every generation has had some new technology. But in the past, everyone understood that it is important to learn to do math yourself because something extreme could happen to keep you from using a calculator or computer. The same thing should go for learning to write. And everything else. Alarmists of every persuasion tell us that one day we may not have access to our computers and the internet. Does that mean that we should all hide in a corner?
The best schools and the best parents are teaching our young how to survive in a world without an iPhone
Don't you love it when your blog item ends up being so good that you must share it in a static item as well? I surely do, and I totally agree that this deserved to be shared.
As you describe yourself, I imagine that we might have been friends in school. I myself was in a group that was called by THOSE people the "2 by 2s". Everyone in our group was too something - too fat, too skinny, too gregarious,too timid, too much of a bookworm, etc.
You described your situation well. And you have made me ponder, not what I was as a younger person, but what I became as an adult.
This is wonderful, Jeff. I love haiku poetry and admire the people who have mastered it. You have done that. I wish that I could have figured out how to get a message across in such a precise and fun way.
"An umbrella is like our protection from God and his angels,” said the student.
When I first read that, I thought that the person was anti-Christian. I wonder if it couldn't be rewritten to show that the umbrella was a shield against evil.
On his umbrella was written “money Another person this time a woman had an umbrella with pride Yet, another person had an umbrella with religion.
You are missing some punctuation in this part.
he noticed one of the professor’s
The plural of professor is professors, not professor's.
He came across the poem of the female student’s poem and read it.
How about, "He came across the female student's poem and read it."
I totally understand. I started writing poetry and stories at about age 8, sitting in our backyard cherry tree. Most of the poetry at our house was Edgar Guest and when I tried to copy his style, it came off as sing-songy with forced rhymes. I was thrilled when I learned about soft rhymes!
"to express what
cannot be expressed
as powerfully in prose”.
Amen to that!
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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