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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kimbro1958
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769 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I would like to participate.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
How do you actually read a book? I tried to click on a book to read it and nothing happened.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thanks for including me, Wordsmitty!!
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, ridinghood--p.boutilier. I am pleased to present my review of your poetry entitled:

MY PERSONAL COMMENTS FOLLOW:

Title - I found your title most appropriate.

Point of View - Obviously written from the author's point of view, as the poem speaks with authority.

Diction - Diction is consistent and effective. The only word that gave me pause was "quotidian" as at first it didn't flow smoothly off my tongue smoothly, and I had to look-up the definition.

Imagery - Your images are effective, causing reflection upon how the Lord often uses our sleep to speak and/or bring clarity to issues that may effect us when awake.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence - The cadence is soft-spoken, staying nicely within the chosen format.

Structure - Stanza form and line breaks are appropriate to the Monotetra style. I found no punctuation or spelling mishaps.

Theme - This piece evokes a holy reverence for the spiritual capacity of dreams in keeping with its well-chosen title.

Final thoughts - These are merely my comments. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

I look forward to reviewing more of your work!



A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
5
5
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You sound melancholic here, though interesting at the same time. Maybe, like me, your frame of/state of mind when writing shines through whether you like it or not. No hiding.

I feel that we met before on this site; however, I do look forward to reviewing your work again.

Thanks for sharing this piece.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
69th entry -

Once upon a time there was a joyful little boy. Every day he made his parents smile with his antics, merrily playing with friends, toys and his puppy. One day, it was raining and he had to play inside. All of his friends were busy too; so he played alone. But that was okay because sometimes his toys came alive and played with him. Because of that, he had fun despite the rain.

While his mommy and daddy were busy doing grown-up things --- paying the bills, working, cooking and cleaning, he played. Until finally, his mommy called him for lunch. After that, the rain stopped and the sun came out again.

So he went outside and played on his swing-set with Tommy from next door until the sun went down. By Maria Mize

-------------

This was fun. Thank you, Bubblegum!
7
7
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations on receiving the 1st place award for this piece on "Freedom of Speech." I live in the USA; and it was interesting to read your views of what is going on in The Netherlands in this arena.

I put "free speech" in the same category as "freedom from discrimination in the workplace." Both are "good ideas" not often applied with integrity in any real sense.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent. I found this piece very informative. Though I have a Twitter account, I think I only "tweeted" once just to see what it was like.

I read the entire hash-tag link within the article and found it amazingly sad. We can be so quick to judge others...

I find direct communication is less likely misinterpreted----but it cannot be "documented" either. So when someone is offensive on the telephone, for instance; the offending person can deny the conversation ever happened.

Well-written. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Seuzz.
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Review of I pray  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Danial! I enjoyed the solemness of your poetry and prayer; the cadence of rhythm and rhyme fell appropriately also.

I cannot distinguish a part I liked best because I loved this piece entirely.

I see you are new to this fellowship. Welcome. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Beautifully done.
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10
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found the music of your life interesting and uniquely informative.

The One Direction song, "What Makes You Beautiful" as performed by The Piano Guys and "Angels We Have Heard on High" by The Piano Guys reminded me of a harp. I never before thought of the piano as a type of harp. Beautifully, spectacular.

Thank you!

11
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Review of a piano  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you, Rhyssa.

First suggestion: Consider being more mysterious with your title and brief description.

Second suggestion: In keeping with my first suggestion, remove the words "ivory and ebony" and find a suitable replacement. I find "ebony and ivory" in terms of piano keys a little over-used. Instead maybe say:

         graceful curves
         contrasting white and black
         hide the magic
         of the soundbox


Also consider removing "of the" in the final line above and end this stanza with simply: "hide the magic soundbox."

Finally, consider removing any extraneous words throughout your work to add power and dimension. For instance:

         wires stretched taut
         over eighty-eight strings
         with high notes mirroring
         sound intensified


...or something to that effect.

I enjoyed learning a little more about the piano --- always an instrument I wanted to play.

Thank you for sharing your writing with us!

12
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Review of Turning Golden  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked the heartfelt quality of this piece. Thank you for sharing.
13
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Review of Silver Forest  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think I would call this a squib (a small firework that burns with a hissing sound before exploding) since it's so short, yet packed with beauty and depth.

My favorite phrase, I think: ...the bursts of periwinkle light illuminating gossamer wings and gentle secrets. And quite iridescent, was ...each heart shimmering with armor.

Each and every word frolicked past my senses in Silver Forest.

Well done. Thank you!
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Bubblegum. When we were growing up, I think we had every Dr. Seuss book available, and new ones arrived in the mail regularly.

Thanks for doing the research on this. I enjoyed the read and learned a thing or two as well.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Sadly beautiful, I enjoyed this collection, L.M. --- the raw honesty of your words, as well as the presentation (rhythm, rhyme and flow). I found the striking simplicity paralleled with strong emotion both captivating and satisfying. I wasn't disappointed.

I am glad you are here and look forward to reviewing more of your work.

Again, thank you!
16
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Aniu. I am pleased to offer a modest review after reading this piece.

I enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme---though some stanzas could use more work to maintain consistent flow, I think.

I'm glad you decided to join the site and participate.
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Review of The Reality  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (3.5)
Ross, you may want to review and edit this significantly. First off, I noticed the word "passed" should be "past." Second, check for redundancy of wording as you seem to overuse some words quite a lot.

Check presentation and spacing, organizing your work for appeal and clarity. It looks like you accidentally italicized some of the text as well.

With more work, this piece has potential.

Thanks for sharing!
18
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Excellent, Robert! I loved this imaginative piece. Most enjoyable was Rudolph's approach toward a frozen Andrea.

Certainly, this was a joy to write just before the Christmas holiday.

One suggestion---you may wish to correct the inconsistency in the name John Conner/John Cooper.

Thank you!
19
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, G.B. This is a "random review" of "For Rhonda on the Death of Her Dad.

How very kind of you to write this for Rhonda. I was pleased to read it.

Minor Suggestions:

There is no way that I can comfort you or heal your heart that has been so badly cracked Here you are missing a period. Also, consider removing the first "you" and "that has been." This might better read, "There is no way I can comfort or heal your broken heart."

There are a few places where you do not use punctuation --- and other places where you do. Take another look at your work overall, editing, perfecting and also checking for punctuation consistency.

Thank you!


20
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Review of Light  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this, Bryce. Wonderfully done.

What I hear/see is that "his" light (life) is dim until joined with all other lights within the valley, which altogether create brilliance. I'm thinking this is a spiritual piece wherein the valleys are the parts of our life where we struggle and God---though very near---seems far away. We do much better when we are not alone, isolated.

This allegory reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress, which you may have read. If not, consider reading it. I know you would thoroughly enjoy it.

Thank you!
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Review of Ch5. Red Moon..  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Interesting piece.

Here: "They were our last humans and the wedding of their daughter is a major event for them. I am pleased for them and think I should show some support and some interest.". You say "for them" twice in two sentences back-to-back. I would remove the second "for them" to remove redundancy. Also consider removing the second "some" in the second sentence as it is unnecessary and redundant as well, in my opinion.

Here: "...It is nothing to us, the daughter of Roger and Eve, she was born on the island so what is the point?" I wonder what you mean. I think, for clarity, it would be better to say something like: "...It is nothing to us. The daughter of Roger and Eve was born on the island; so, what is the point?"

These are the only suggestions I wish to give at this point, but you may want to take a re-look at the entire piece to clean it up---if need be.



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Review of Meeting Him  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Jim Dorrell. I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this mysterious, spell-binding poem. Who would have guessed about whom "Meeting him" was written? Not me... at least not until the final three words in the third line of the second to last stanza.

Well done. Children (of all ages) would especially like this, I think. I wouldn't change a thing.

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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
You did an excellent job here. Your work and interpretation of the prompt captures the attention of the reader, giving it inherent value that can not be easily dismissed or overlooked.

Here: “Thank you, Jason. I am rather techno-inhibited,” he joked. Jason shared in the laughter..., I think it may be better said, Jason shared his amusement --- Jason chuckled in amusement... --- or Jason chuckled... something to that effect. "Laughter" seems to be too bold/loud a response for the smallness of the joke, in my opinion.

I didn't find anything else that struck me as out-of-place.
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this fun piece... The rhythm and rhyme was enough, but not too much. I enjoyed the variety of sights and sound (changing from stanza to stanza).
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Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
For Zeke ---
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