*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kimbro1958/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: ON
781 Public Reviews Given
878 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review of Fire and Flame  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice work, catdok!
52
52
Review of Shades  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Christine. I am pleased to present my review of your poetry entitled: SHADES

MY PERSONAL COMMENTS FOLLOW:

Title - How it did or did not impact me. In my opinion, was it appropriate?
Though the title in and of itself did not impact me---pull me in---I did find it appropriate.

Point of View - From whose point of view is this poetry written?
...written from the author's point of view.

Diction - Consistent throughout? Was it appropriate/effective or not, in my opinion?
I found the diction within your poetry consistent and effective. I especially like the descriptions written directly underneath each named color; they create more imagery.

Imagery - In my opinion... How effective are the images in the poem? What senses and/or emotions were provoked, evoked? Was it appealing to me? If not, suggestions...
I found the images in line with the color and clarifying descriptions; such as "Crimson," etc.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence - Whether or not I found the rhythm/rhyme/cadence effective... Was there continuity? If so, was it appropriate or forced? Did it attract or detract from the poem? Suggested improvements?
I found the cadence fluent---not overpowering, distracting.

Structure - stanza form, line breaks, punctuation, proportion? Did I find it enhanced or detracted from the poetry?
There were no obvious punctuation problems.

Theme - What was the overall theme of this piece? Was it interesting to me? Did it provoke or evoke anything in me, personally? Did it work well for the piece?
The theme and the title are in alighnment---shades of color.

Final thoughts -
You are the author; these are merely my comments. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue participating in this growing community of writers, may your success climb steadily! I look forward to watching your journey!


A generous give from Garden Girl and created by Shi...

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
53
53
Review of Farewells  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting, Joy. I enjoyed the read. Thank you!
54
54
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading this piece, Rhychus. I like the visualization your writing inspires... though I still kind of wanted to see a picture of this creature. =)
55
55
Review of Moirai  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hi there, sumpinlikedat. I have reviewed and rated your piece entitled: MOIRAI


*Bullet*My overall thoughts: Fascinating start. You pull in your reader well and keep us hanging. Yet it felt like this came easy for you---nothing contrived.


*Bullet*Most liked -- and why: I'm not sure what I liked most, maybe your introduction, which was pretty much "right in the middle of things."


*Bullet*Least liked -- and why: I think you typed this first and then cut and pasted it in... because of that, there are a few things within the piece that need to be removed in order to clean it up. For instance, decadesâ. Remove that little accented "a." I think you meant to have an apostrophe here... and there's another one later on in the piece that looks like it should have been (and most probably was in your original draft) an apostrophe.


*Bullet*Grammar/Spelling (suggestions): Nothing really jumped out at me. However, on second take I think "arm in arm," should be "arm-in-arm." I would also remove unnecessary words---such that, for instance, "The only sounds to be heard" might instead read "The only sounds heard," etc. [I always try to remove everything that is not necessary in order to keep my work (and the reader) focused.]


*Bullet*Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me: Your work caught my eye as unique, creative and forward-thinking. Thanks for that!


*Bullet*Final thoughts:
You are the author and my comments are merely my own point of view. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally to me in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue participating in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to climb! My hope is to see more of your work as your journey progresses!


A generous give from Garden Girl and created by Shi...

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
56
56
Review of In My Sleep  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is good, irregular_onion. I liked the rhythmic ebb and flow. I wasn't so sure about the word "mead." I looked up the definition... maybe it was your intention. Also "mine mind" in the third line of the third stanza --- thought you may have meant to type "my mind."

Otherwise, I loved this piece and its dream-like qualities.

Good luck in the contest!
57
57
Review of A Day Too Soon  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice work, Hunter's Moon. Good luck in the contest.
58
58
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (4.0)
LOVES AMAZING POWER is a beautiful telling of love, though it may yet be unrequited according to the last stanza.

Who are you, Rhychus? After reading this piece, I tiptoed through your portfolio to find, I'VE COME HERE TO SAY WHAT I NEED TO SAY, which I found equally enchanting.

Keep writing!
59
59
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there, Master Iveltac of Tyrell. THE LIFE OF A MOUSE was a pleasure to read, but would merit editing---grammatically and just overall re-work improvements in word use and structure.

For example, consider removing "had" here and instead say: "Joe drowned and Bill burnt down his house.

Consider, "Sam was run over and Bob spent too much time home alone."

Also consider the last sentence: "Hardly any of Archibald's siblings died, but what can one expect when living among 300 siblings as a stinky old mouse who lives in a house."

I wish you the best! Have fun!
60
60
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Where do I go to revise my own reviewing templates? Thanks!
61
61
Review of Cat  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, revdbob . I am a fellow rising star and have reviewed and rated CAT and wish to give my opinions, comments and interpretation in order to help, strengthen and encourage you.

Point of View: Cy

Time and Place: ...by a lake, somewhere in the northern wilderness.

Situation or Circumstance: A wildcat has been in a fight with four dogs. The dogs are dead and the cat is critically injured.

General Plot (chain of events): We're taken through the ordeal of cat and man while the cat heals from its injuries.

Exposition (background information): We are told most about the Doc --- that she is a slight woman, once beautiful, loves animals, doesn't have much to do with men.

Protagonist (main character): The cat is the main character.

Other Important Characters: Cy and the doc.

Incentive Moment (something that incites to action or greater effort): I believe the incentive moment is when Cy finds the cat and decides to help bring it to recovery.

Conflicts: There is the conflict between the cat and the dogs, which we are told about. A conflict between the cat and the doc as she tries to sedate her.

Complications: The doc is found dead---apparently killed by a cat-man.

Title: I found your title appropriate.

Resolution: The reader is left hanging as the story ends.

My favorite part:
The night was cold, so I brought the cat into the tent and wrapped it right into my sleeping bag with me. What sort of idiocy is this, I asked myself as I was drowsing. Who takes a wildcat to bed with them and expects to wake up alive? But the cat hardly stirred, and it was wrapped up well enough that even if it started to move it could not quickly get free.


My overall thoughts in a nutshell: This is a good story for the most part. It held my interest. However, there is a place where you call the cat "she" and "it" in the same sentence. It should be "she" and "her" to be in agreement. I also felt the transition from helping and befriending the cat into a scary cat-human killing the doc was not smooth. It didn't work well here. Also, you say the doc was killed and then you say the doc "says" it was human, as if the doc were still alive. I would re-review the entire piece and refine it a bit more.

If anything I've said is not helpful to you, please think it over. Disregard it, if necessary, because these are merely my personal thoughts/comments.

If you have any questions; or if you feel I've missed some aspect of your writing, let me know.

** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **
Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
62
62
Review of Imagine  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello, Kilpik! As a fellow Rising Star, I have reviewed and rated: IMAGINE

My overall thoughts: A cool piece, icy even. Sincerely loved it.

Most liked -- and why: I was taken by delightful surprise. Of course, I read it straight without the frills of the descriptive sentence, etc., in case you've given any hints. I found the mystery of discovering the identity of your main character quite provoking.

I especially liked:

The snow, a cheery reminder for some, mocks me as it floats by on delicate parachutes of air and ice.

Your descriptive detail was uniquely captivating and spot-on throughout.


Least liked -- and why: Absolutely nothing. I enjoyed every detail of this imaginative tale of a familiar story.

Grammar/Spelling (suggestions): Nothing found amiss.

Mere suggestions for improvement: Keep it coming!

Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me: I found it uplifting.

Final thoughts: It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. My comments are merely feedback --- whether you agree or disagree matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward and upward in your writing journey.

With continued participation in this community of writers, may your success continue to exceed your imagination. My hope is to see more of your work along the way! Write on!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **

Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
63
63
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love it, ConnieAnn! Very creatively told too!
64
64
Review of Through the Storm  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello! As fellow Rising Star, I have reviewed: THROUGH THE STORM

My overall thoughts: Light and refreshing. Thanks for the twist.

Most liked -- and why: I was digging in for a moment before I knew what tale you were mirroring, and I liked that. I am sure you did what you set out to do with this piece.

Grammar/Spelling (suggestions): None noted.

Mere suggestions for improvement: Keep writing!

Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me: It was fluid in a stormy sort of way. =)

Final thoughts: You are the author; my comments are merely feedback. Whether or not you agree or disagree with me matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward and upward in your writing journey. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

With continued participation in this growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to exceed your wildest dreams! My hope is to see more of your work along the way!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **

Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
65
65
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful, Keaton. I am sorry for your loss.

Congratulations on your win!
66
66
Review of River Run  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello, Marc! As a fellow Rising Star, I have reviewed and rated your appropriately entitled short story: RIVER RUN

My overall thoughts: I really liked it. Your words flow easily. I like the elements of adventure, duty, fear, danger, friendship, and then the relaxed picture-taking at the end.

Most liked -- and why: It was hard paddling, and more than once I thought about giving up. I like that this is a story of endurance and perseverence even though you thought about giving up.

Least liked -- and why: I liked the whole thing -- beginning to end.

Grammar/Spelling (suggestions): No problems found.

Mere suggestions for improvement: Keep up the good work!

Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me: I got a strong feel for what you experienced through your words. I found this piece exciting, refreshing.

Final thoughts: You are the author; my comments are merely feedback. Whether or not you agree or disagree with me matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward and upward in your writing journey. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

With continued participation in this growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to exceed your wildest dreams! My hope is to see more of your work along the way!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **

Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
67
67
Review of La' Guillotine  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Hello, Demolition! As a fellow Rising Star, I have reviewed and rated: LA' GUILLOTINE

My overall thoughts: I really liked your rhythm and rhyme scheme, which created a strong dirge effect.

Most liked -- and why: I most liked your first eight stanzas --- the consistency, leading up to the final moment.

Least liked -- and why: I least liked your last two stanzas. It seemed like a rush to bring an end to this work... almost like two totally different people produced the piece... a let down, for me. I would rework those two final stanzas.

Also, I suggest a couple returns after the last line of this piece to create a separation from the copyright information.

Grammar/Spelling (suggestions): I found no problems -- no need for suggestion.

Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me: I was impacted by the dirge effect created by your rhythm and rhyming scheme.

Final thoughts: You are the author; my comments are merely feedback. Whether or not you agree or disagree with me matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward and upward in your writing journey. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

With continued participation in this growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to exceed your wildest dreams! My hope is to see more of your work along the way!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **

Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
68
68
Review of We Who Lay  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Mr. Webb. I am pleased to present my review of your poetry entitled:WE WHO LAY

PERSONAL COMMENTS:

Title - Gave pause for reflection.

Point of View - He who mourns.

Diction - Consistently somber and thoughtful.

Imagery - Of tranquility... evoking sadness and mourning.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence - I hear the slow methodical beat of a funeral drum in the distance.

Structure - Well-structured and smooth.

Theme - An honoring epitaph.

Final thoughts - You are the author; my comments are merely feedback. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your inspiration grow and continue! My hope is to see more of your work along the way!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **
Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey, Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
69
69
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, SWPoet. I am pleased to present my review of your daily meditation/prayer entitled: PRAYER BEADS: MEDITATION FOR SEEKERS.

MY PERSONAL COMMENTS:

Title - Your title drew me in.

Diction - Your diction was appropriate and consistent throughout a gentle, flowing stream of reflection.

Imagery - I teared up with this one. If you don't mind, I will print this one (showing your copyright information of course). I especially like the part where you ask to be granted "the patience to tolerate those who follow every rule" as I find myself too often in that number. Clearly, you've found your calling as a Social Worker.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence - You have attained beautiful symmetry here.

Structure - I find no lack.

Theme - Serenity -- I found the breath and heartbeat of God upon this prayer.

Final thoughts - You are the author; my comments are my own. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally to me in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you onward. It has blessed and given me great pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue participation in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your success and satisfaction climb! My hope is to see more of your work along the way!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **
Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey, Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...

P.S. I found one misspelled word -- "denomenator" s/b "denominator."
70
70
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thanks, Joy. Good information.
71
71
Review of Body of Light  
Review by Maria Mize
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am pleased to present my review of your poetry entitled:
BODY OF LIGHT

MY COMMENTS FOLLOW:

Title
The title piqued my interest, kept the focus of your poetry clear.

Point of View
This poem is clearly told from the author's point of view ---- the "lightwalker" ---- as well as from the point of view of a body of light, as if it were a living, breathing entity.

I'm reminded Jesus said, I am the light of the world. Once we bond, open our hearts and minds to His Holy Spirit, Jesus commends us not to hide our light under a bushel basket. This little light of mine... I'm gonna' let it shine.

Diction
Your diction is consistent, appropriate and effective.

Imagery
Again, clearly a living, breathing body of light.

Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence
Your rhythm and rhyme is spot on, clearly adding to the strength of your work.

Structure
The line breaks work well for you, along with punctuation. I wasn't so sure about the format of your stanzas ---- though I find no fault. (Maybe you used "indents" and at the last moment chose to "center" the entire poem. It seemed a tad disproportionate.) Again, maybe that was your intent.

Theme
In my mind, I see the theme here as a moving body of light, travelling through time and space, amongst the old and young, rich and poor, animal and man, animate and inanimate ---- breaking through the darkness.

Final thoughts -
You are the author here; my comments are merely my own. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally to me in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to continue writing. It was my pleasure to read and review your poetry. Write on!

As you continue participating in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to climb! My hope is to see more of your work as your journey progresses!


A generous give from Garden Girl and created by Shi...

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
72
72
Review of Mariposa  
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Hello, Nicki! I reviewed and rated your story entitled:
MARIPOSA

*Bullet*My overall thoughts:
God touched me here. I was impressed and caught off-guard by the compelling mystique of your artfully written story and its characters. The ending was a gratifying surprise.

*Bullet*Most liked -- and why:
...the way God proved Himself, stirring the ashes of unwavering love and fortitude in the rescue of innocense. When we think we're finished, God is just beginning.

*Bullet*Grammar/Spelling (suggestions):
No errors noted.

*Bullet*Final thoughts:
You are the author here. Whether or not you agree or disagree with my observations and comments matters fractionally to me in comparison to the hope that I may encourage and provoke you to better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your work. Write on!

As you continue participating in this growing community of aspiring writers, may your inspiration and success continue to climb! My hope is to see more of your work as your journey progresses!


** Image ID #1533819 Unavailable **
Thank you, Dr. J, Harley Honey and Gabriella (aka gabriellar45).

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
73
73
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello, Christine! As one of the judges, I am reviewing your "love" poetry submitted to the Freedom Writers Contest, May 2010:
THE WOMAN BEHIND THE MASK

*Bullet*My overall thoughts:
Personally, I see great potential in your work here.
I believe if you cut-it-down a bit more, removing excess/unnecessary words, its flow, power, grace would increase... For example, see the second stanza with minor changes:

         Her older sister? ...not as pretty
         But she was clever; she was witty.
         People admired her beautiful hair.
         She walked and talked with delicate air,
         But, all the men who would kiss her
         Fell in love with her younger sister.


*Bullet*Most liked -- and why:
The very first stanza because it invitingly draws in your reader. I also like the moral behind your poetry.

*Bullet*Least liked -- and why:
...just cut-it-down a bit (in my opinion).

*Bullet*Grammar/Spelling (suggestions):
Nothing found.

*Bullet*Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me:
I found it inspiringly creative---a gleeful scheme of rhythm and rhyme.

*Bullet*Final thoughts:
Please remember, you are the author here and my comments are merely my own. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally to me in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue participating in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to climb! My hope is to see more of your work as your journey progresses!


A generous give from Garden Girl and created by Shi...

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
74
74
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I reviewed your story as a judge in the Freedom Writers (April) Contest. I found your focus fascinating and fanciful, and your story profound --- a very unique and imaginative work of art.

Very well done, in my humble opinion. GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST!

...and keep writing!
75
75
Review by Maria Mize
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello, Bikerider! As one of the judges for the Freedom Writers Contest for April, I reviewed and rated your poetry entitled:
THE SECRET HEARTBEAT

*Bullet*My overall thoughts:
I found your writing intriguing, compelling and focused.

*Bullet*Most liked -- and why:
Like a ballad, you've a beautiful story with rhythm, rhyme and depth.

*Bullet*Least liked -- and why:
I found your writing unique and a pleasure to read.

*Bullet*Grammar/Spelling (suggestions):
"(S)ee's" should not have an apostrophe----because it neither shows possession, nor is it a contraction. Also, "over see's" should be one word and the apostrophe is misplaced.

Since the month is not yet over, you have time to make these slight adjustments...

*Bullet*Mere suggestions for improvement:
Already mentioned.

*Bullet*Why/how this piece did (or did not) impact me:
I found it sad, yet echoing softly through my mind inciting both meditation and contemplation.

WELL DONE! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST.

*Bullet*Final thoughts:
Please remember, you are the author here and my comments are merely my own. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally to me in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!

As you continue participating in this small, growing community of aspiring writers, may your success continue to climb! My hope is to see more of your work as your journey progresses!


A generous give from Garden Girl and created by Shi...

A helpful link for every writer: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoi...
266 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 11 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kimbro1958/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3