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1
1
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: E | (5.0)
Following up on my last review, I enjoyed the Television article so much that I couldn't resist reviewing another article from your non-fiction folder.

This article covers the origin of the holiday Thanksgiving. I suspect that it was written to coincide with the holiday. I am writing this review in the middle of April but that does not detract from my enjoyment of this article. If anything it made me long for the classic holiday meal even more as it is several months off.

This article shows that Thanksgiving has a very rich history going back to early humans eventually leading up to the origins of the holiday with the early colonist that I am more familiar with. I really learned a lot from this article. For example I had no idea how Sarah Josepha Buell Hale helped make Thanksgiving a national holiday. It also helped me revise my knowledge. I had no idea that term Pilgrim being used to refer to the early colonists came much later. Additional while I have heard of pardoning a turkey and its the history linking all the way back to President Truman. You should share some of the sources of the information (possibly in a dropdown note) because it is really interesting and I would love to read more about it.

This article also succeeded in making me really hungry describing the classic meal as well as the meal that was most likely available for the Puritans and Wampanoag people during that time period. I like that this article covers the religious roots touching upon the early humans thanking the Gods and following up on the Puritan connection.

I really like reading this and learned a lot from this article. Thank you so much for sharing this trivia and writing this. *Turkey*

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2
2
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a really fascinating article. It covers a lot about the 200 year history of early television and gave me a lot of information that I didn't know before. I visited the museum of the History of television and radio in New York city awhile back however it just covered early television shows and didn't go into details of the invention itself. Just a couple of examples of some things that were completely new to me was the meaning of the word television being to view from far away and the fact that the concepts for this invention goes all the way back to the 1800s. (I had no idea it dated back that far.)

It is really amazing how many different inventors laid the groundwork for television to come into being. This article give a great summary showing all the people who contributed to this (Michael Faraday, Joseph Henry, Samuel Morse, Lee Deforest, Carl Ferdinand Braun and Philip T. Farnsworth, Allen B. Dumont all driving the technology forward in their own way). It also gives information on the what scientific knowledge paved the way for this (i.e. radio communication, electromagnetism, and cathode ray tubes followed by the electromagnetic camera tube the Iconoscope eventually ending with the color television available).

It also gives a great summary of some of the early television showds such as Felix the Cat and the Queen's messenger. (Both of which I am not familiar with though I think I have seen pictures of the former.) It is really amazing how far television has come.

Thank you for writing such an interesting and informative piece!

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3
3
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a really a scary recurring nightmare. I would not like to find myself in this type of situation.

Your writing style is fast paced which works really well for a dream sequence. The events happen so quickly that they feel like a chaotic dream. There is a lot to unpack in this nightmare. First off the setting is perfect for a horror story. A dark road is really creepy. I like how the dream gets gradually more terrifying the more it is describe. It starts with a drive in the dark and increases the adrenaline when an accident is added in as the driver loses control making it all the more scary. The tension builds when the main character finds out they hit an animal. But an even greater terror awaits in a final twist. It is bad enough to hit a deer but the shift of it becoming a human in the end is really a shock. It is a jump scare that I can picture would knock anyone out of their sleep exactly like it did with the main character of this story.

There are nice touches which really help to set up a tense mood in the story. The description of 'smoothering blackness' the trees looming over the road, The frantic looking from left to right and increased heartbeat of the narrator all help to contribute an exciting tone. It puts readers on the edge of their seats and makes them want to continue through the story to find out how the nightmare plays out.

Anyway I enjoyed reading this story a lot and it really kept me locked in from beginning to end. Thank you very much for an intense read!

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4
4
Review of Crimson  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sophy,
I am reviewing this poem as part of Game of Thrones. You have a lot of items in your portfolio but the title of the poem was what drew me to this one. I like the word crimson I always think of it as a darker shade of read but the name is a lot more elegant. I never connected Crimson with purple but I checked the definition and sure enough inclining to purple is listed as one of the meanings.

This poem covers a pointless argument over the color of the sunset between the narrator and a romantic partner that seems really relatable to readers. As someone in a long term relationship and with two siblings so it is very easy for me to connect with the pointless arguments that often happen between family members. It caused me to reminisce of the countless times I argued with them over food, music choice and other minor things.

When I evaluate poetry on a technical level. I usually check 4 qualities (flow / rhythm, description / imagery, style and vocabulary / word choices). This poem hits the strongest with imagery because color is the primary focus of the poem. I particularly like the sunset described. It gives the reader the perfect picture of the time of day thanks to the colors described. The period of dusk where red turns into purple is a beautiful period. The words "wine stained lips" also offered a great visual queue appeal to a reader's sense of taste in addition to sight. Vocabulary wise, this poem is more freestyle but it seemed to have some slight rhythm to it maybe due to the way the lines are broken up. Vocabulary was another strength as noticed with the title choice.

Anyway, this is a really great poem and I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for writing!

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5
5
Review of SMOKEY'S LESSON  
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was looking for static items to review and came across this short story in the browse by type section of the. The image of the bear you were using made this article stand out from the others. It was a fun story to read through. The tagline of the article is also a great hook as it definitely entices prospective readers to check this story out. It deals with the unexpected situation of a bear making its way into a campsite.

I like the style of the story. The story is told in such a realistic way that I'm unsure if it is based on actual story or if it is completely fictional. There are some nice comedic beats to it which are timed very well. Right at the beginning I chuckled when the nicknames of the scout leaders where discussed. I can't figure out why Schwartzenberger wasn't granted a nickname when he is probably the one that would benefit from it the most.

The description in the story is very good. It is clear what is happened and even technical exposition moments like the the scouts setting up a rake is told with enough clarity to follow what is going on. I wish that the segment where the actual bear showed up was expanded just a little bit further as it is the highlight of the story. I am curious as what about the bear made him seem like smokey when compared with other bears that the people might came across. The ending lines were delivered very well and feel like an amusing punchline to a joke.

I really enjoyed reading this story a lot. Thank you for sharing this story/experience with us.

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6
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Review of I Remember You  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is really powerful to read through. I think that it fits the prompt it is written for very well. It discusses and serves as an acknowledgement to several different veterans all of whom have different experiences serving our country in the past and the present. It reminds some of the monuments for soldiers that I have paid respect two where like the Vietnam memorial in Washington and the the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington that pay respect to multiple soldiers at once.

I connected with the World War II acknowledgement in particular. My grandfather was a medic during that war. His brothers were in the navy and marine corp. Each of them helped our country in different ways. However your poem pays homage to the heroes of other wars as well such as World War I, the Vietnam War and the Gulf war. It is a great tribute to each of their respective veterans.

On a technical level your poem is has some nice stylistic elements to it. There is some powerful imagery with second stanza providing a very poignant picture with the soldier's face being a collage of multiple soldiers. It is set up into mostly quatrains with a slight exception in the 5th stanza. They are some rhymes spaced out throughout this that make this poem fun to read through. I particular like the rhyming pair of Desert Storm with Uniform. The piece also benefits from a really powerful refrain that evokes memories which it shares with the title of this poem.

Anyway this is a great poem which really works well at honoring our veterans. Thank you very much for writing it.

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7
7
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very nice poem. It shares ideas while at the same time is written in a fun way to read through. On a sidenote, I really like the cover image image with the carrots attached. This poem captures a frustration with modern politics, lamenting how things have changed from the past. As a person who has lived through the 2016 election I remember a lot of people expressed similar feelings during the time.

This poem does a great job of sharing the idea that modern day politicians don't do a good job of trying to offer incentives to the people whose vote they need or following through on their promises. With politics so divided between the two parties it is refreshing that this poem doesn't lean to one political side or another.

One thing that I really like about the poem is the ending which ties into the ideas expressed at the start of voting is a connection to the past. For the narrator the duty to vote was passed on from a previous generation and carrying it out ultimately honors the past.

On a technical level, this poem is well done. It has a great rhythm to it with an enjoyable rhyme scheme 'abab' for most of it that make it very enjoyable an pleasant to read through. I love when the rhythm flows smoothly like this. There are two stanzas the mix it up a bit with an 'abcb' rhyme scheme. The fifth (an important stanza as it references the title of the poem) and the seventh stanza. These shake things up a bit but it is still has a great rhythm to it. I also love the alliterative flourish in the final stanza with stalwart sons.

Great writing!

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8
8
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the science fiction genre. This seems to be an interesting story in that category. This introduction reads like poetry. There is a lot of vivid description with the storm. The storm come to life is very beautifully described in a terrifying way. It is a very powerful flashback to open the story with. You can feel a lot of chaotic events happening at once. It makes for a very exciting opening.

The intro also reveals a compelling mystery left to be solved with how the parents apparently died in the storm. It draws in readers as they want to know how it occurred. The lead character is portrayed as haunted by shadows.

I recommend fleshing each of the segments out. A lot of the opening is blurred together and it is difficult for a reader to discern everything that is going on and tell what is flashback, what is in the characters memories, what is a dream and what is part of the present. For example with the shadows are attacking him in his mind or metaphorical or whether the character is experiencing an actual attack. I can picture in a movie this type of chaos depicted would work well with visuals for reference but it is challenging for the reader to identify where the dream / flashback ends and what is happening currently. Since this is the beginning of a novel, you need to ground the reader a bit. They have to have a clear sense of what is happening to be encouraged to continue with the story

I think some white space would help with this. It might help to add spaces between paragraphs. It would allow users to adjust a bit to the fast pace. However you also need to clearly separate each segment and add more to identify what is going on. For example with "the author of the nightmare" sequence. I can't tell exactly what is happening there. It seems like the lead is being warned or attacked but it is not clear by who. If you were to describe what what he was seeing I feel it would help a lot.

In any case... this is good opening that has the potential be a great lead in to your story and I would definitely want to read more of the novel this is a setup for. Best of luck with your writing.

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9
9
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a good interactive. It seems like a lot of work went into developing this. The two Deviant art stories shared really go a long way to laying a strong foundation and setup for the characters in this interactive so it is heavily recommended to read through them prior to going into this this interactive itself. Though it is not completely necessary for readers to be able to follow the stories provided, they seem to make the experience much richer for the reader so I'm glad they were included in the intro. They also give the reader a good sense of what types of stories may appear in the interactive giving a guidelines for writers.

I like the premise and setup for this story. The group of girls seem likable and each have there own unique traits. Katlyn is the most interesting for me because I really like a Tsundere. Taking the characters from regular everyday lives and exposing them to supernatural elements allow for the potential of some really wild and exciting storylines.

The interactive owner made a smart move offering a GP reward to readers for adding to the story and it seems to have paid off very well as this interactive appears to be coming along very nicely. The story already has a lot of chapters currently. It should be noted that the storylines present cater to fans with specific taste. For example most of the arcs present deal with age regression which which is fun concept to explore. There are some other creative and interesting ideas currently available as well such as gender bender and one where a character is changed into a Pokémon of choice. It you are a reader that likes these type of wild scenarios then this interactive is worth checking out!

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10
10
Review of Waterfire  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this intro. It definitely makes me want to read more of the novel that this is written for. The teaser provided in the title description sounds really good. A ghost ship sounds very exciting. The opening is described really well with the primary character in this intro (Julie) kayaking at Sunset. It is a beautiful image to picture. The opening paragraph does a great job of setting up who she is allowing the reader to connect with her. We know she is experienced sailor as she serves as a navy instructor. It also gives the reader a good sense of where this is happening (2 miles off the coast)

The excitement builds right away as she encounters the mysterious ship. It is described well allowing the reader to visualize what it looks like. One of the great bits of setups for this scene is that the sun fades out of the sky as the ship comes into view setting the encounter at dusk. It is the best time of day for thriller to take place.

The abrupt ending serves as the perfect hook and I was definitely hoping that I could read more of this and I think other readers would feel the same. We are left wondering what she was seeing aboard the ship with only the word death as a hint of what is to come. It is very exciting.

Great writing. This is everything you want an intro to be. It gives a good setup, introduces the character and ship and has a great hook pulling the readers into it. I hope that you continues this story and I hope that I am able to read more of this in the future. Best of luck with your writing.

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11
11
Review of STARLIGHT  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I love the title of the piece. It was what drew me into wanting to review this. This is a nice short story and very well written. It starts off with a really nice hook where the main character is floating in space and there is a great set of flashback sequences as the characters life seems to flash before his eyes. I like this narrative device as it really gives us a sense of who the lead character is as we go through the characters life with him.

The initial flashback depicting the character seeing the rocket launches from Cape Canaveral really gives us a sense of the character. It is beautifully described and I could picture the rockets taken off from there. We feel his loss as his father passes away and his struggle in the academy. The pain of having to leave a girlfriend behind as he headed into space. The reader manages to get caught up very quickly.

The segment I wish were expanded upon a little bit further was the bit on the Ipstaormians. They add an exciting element to the story and play an important role but we only get a short hint on their intentions. I also would love to know a little bit more about how the lead character found himself dying in space. I don't know if it was clear enough what happened to him after taking the mission into space. Did he get left stranded by the aliens in space? It feels like this is part of a much larger story that I would love to read more of.

The ending of the short though was very powerfully written. I love the contrast of the call of the stars and peace contrasting with the lead fading out as the darkness overtakes him. It really nicely depicted. Overall this is a great story that is beautifully written.

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12
12
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very insightful article and thoughts on blogging. I think that you are spot on that this is a spiritual activity and really gives a person insights into themselves. I see blogging as an activity that really allows the person writing the blog entry to explore there own thoughts. It is true that there is a lot about ourselves that even those closest to us are unaware of that blogging can help us explore.

You also explored the concept that sometimes mundane things have special meaning to the person blogging about them. You gave a great example with beans how something plain can be really interesting in a persons mind. I have never thought of beans quite that way before. That is actually really impressive.

I like the idea that blogging could be considered a form reflecting on oneself. I blog from time to time and do feel like when I am writing out the entries that it helps me to think and organize my thoughts and I get more clarity on how I feel about certain issues or events that happened to me. Completing a blog allows me to understand myself better and be able think more clearly. It really a great experience.

Also that is a very good quote to close this article out with. It adds a religious touch to the blogging experience. If you ever do a follow up article, I would get your insights on how you approach starting a blog entry and deciding on topics to discuss. Is it done by going through personal experiences over the course of a day or do you set up your blog entries around topics that interest you.

In any case, thank you for sharing your ideas regarding blogging and good luck with your writing and blogging in the future.

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13
13
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like this poem. You can tell that Pita is a very spirited animal. The cat's name is really cute name. I reviewed this item later on so I can only imagine what Pita looks like. I would have loved to see the image for her. I really like the tone of this poem. It is a bit playful with tongue in cheek element to it as it is told in a way of what we imagine an cat's thoughts to be. I love the potential gripes shared (i.e. new kittens, litter brands and my personal favorite... the virtues of foil pouches over cans). You really did a great job getting into a cat's mindset. I can totally picture them thinking along those lines. It goes even further when the kitten evaluates its owners choices of music. I can definitely picture the landmines left behind.

I think a lot of cat owners find themselves getting an early morning wake up call at one time or another in their lifetimes making the 5am awakening from Pita very relatable to a lot of readers as is the need for coffee. What comes across reading the negotiation at the end of the story is that, it is from an owner that really loves the cat a lot.

On a technical level this poem is very well written. It follows a free verse style but there seem to be bits of rhythm and flow to it. I am unsure if it was intentional or not but there is a nice rhyme in the second stanza with brands and cans. There is also a nice bit of alliteration in the last stanza with "stalk spiders". These little touches help this poem to pop.

Where this poem really shines though is its description and word choices that really allow the readers mind to picture the word choices clearly. I love the description of catnip as "Kitty heroin".

Another thing that I really liked was the description of Pita shared at the end. It was a great touch for this item. Great writing!!

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14
14
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo,
I am slowly going through the Game of Throne activities and one of the tasks was to review a CNote shop. Yours stood out to me thanks to the mention of it being humorous. I was looking for something that would make me smile today. This shop delivers on that pretty well. There were a lot of great card that managed to elicit chuckles from met.

Even before any of the cards are shown, there is that great image of the woman dancing wildly only to accidentally knock over her child. It was hilarious.

In terms of the cards:
One: The Bird with the yellow eyebrows staring at you angrily was hilarious. I'm definitely feeling like he is talking to me while attempting this.

Two: It's hard not to smile when a cute cat is staring at you. Talk about a breakthough card. It is also really cute that the subject of the card is blaming it on the dog.

Three: It definitely inspires you to keep going. I guess the die is cast with that one

Four: Who couldn't help but smile when they see cats flying through the air. I can relate to this one. The best ideas seem to come when I am about to close up shop.

Five: Aw you have to love a cute faith healing session. Actually a great collection of cat images in general throughout this store.

Six: This one was probably the funniest of the cards for me. I can totally relate to the autocorrect mishaps. I also love a good twist.

Seven: This is another nice cute cat image to close out the set. I can't think of a situation where I would want to hide from my muse but can totally relate to wanting to catch some inspiration.

Anyway there are a really great set of Cnotes. Thank you very much for making me smile today. *Smile*

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15
15
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow...this is a great C-note shop Gervic. It is very cool to combine Saint Patrick's day with Dragons. Green dragons make for a great Saint Patrick's day symbol. The emerald isle goes good with emerald dragons and all of them look really cute. I really love all the variations of the dragon images available. The extra touches with the Irish flags, clovers, rainbows and horseshoes are really cute. They all feel really lucky to send. I think my favorite though is the one where the Dragon is eating cereal. There is a Cereal called Lucky charms which has a Leprechaun as a mascot that that image made me think of. It is always advertised as Magically delicious.

You created a lot of really beautiful artwork and wonder the process you are using. I am curious to know how you are making them. You might consider writing a tutorial for these. Are you using Computer art software like Photoshop or illustrator to design or create them or are you using some AI software to generate these via prompts.

I have recently been studying up on AI for my programming courses. I know Artificially intelligent generated artwork is becoming very popular these days and trying to do more research. I have been looking into programs like Midjourney, Craiyon, Stable Diffusion and Dalle but the amount of options and information regarding them are so overwhelming. It is difficult to know where to start with them.

Anyway. I really like this shop and great holiday themed cnote cards and images. You really did an amazing job setting this up!

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16
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Review of Melodic  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice poem. I really like the title which gives the reader the immediate feel of soft soothing music. You seem to know your music very well. Reading through this made me feel like I was listening to a classical music piece. The vocabulary made me reminisce to when I was taking music lesson. I used to play the violin in my teens and learned a lot of these terms from them. Words like trills, piano, treble clef and forte really take me back.

The way this poem is written was well done. It sort of gives the reader (I am almost tempted to say listener) the impression of a conductor controlling an orchestra as the sounds change. When I was reading this I could picture the notes playing as the music got louder then softer, paused for rests, slowing then and speeding up only to repeat. It also includes romantic elements into the piece. Words like heart and commitment hint at it but the ending really sets it up as a romantic poem. It made the music described feel like a tango being performed.

The strength of this poem was definitely its musically themed word choices which are described very well. My favorite phrases in this were "Cradled Half Rests" and "Treble Cliff Commitment". I liked how the shape was described and the second was a nice bit of alliteration joining both themes of this poem (music and romance).

I really enjoyed reading this poem very much. It easily gets a 5 star review from me. I'll be sure to check the rest of your portfolio to look for other poetry like at as well. Thank you very much for writing!

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17
17
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a cool interactive. The Equestria girls are cool characters. It would be fun to attend Canterlot high school with them. I am not as familiar with the series but my friend introduced me to the characters and showed me a couple of clips of the series so I at least know what the ponies look like both in human form and pony form. My favorites are Twilight Sparkles and Apple Jack. I like that they all have different personalities. I think that it would be fun to date Twilight. I like the idea of you encouraging authors to use *insert your name here* in place of the characters name. It adds a personal connection for the readers.

This interactive is still in the middle stage of development. It has some good chapters and story arcs going. There are also multiple authors contributing to it. The most developed story arcs seems to be with Sunset Shimmer and you give a lot of good options for her allowing the story to be set when she was a bully or after the movie when she was a lot nicer. I really like the storyline where the reader get to go on a date with her. It a fun fantasy scenario. I would love to see some similar arcs with Twilight.

A couple of tips. Interactives are set up so that earlier choices have more options. They start going down until they reach two choices the deeper you go in the interactive (5 for the first two chapters then 3 for the third and eventually 2). Basic and upgraded members have the option to add more choices. Try to take advantage of earlier opportunities to add more choices. The great thing about interactives is that they all for multiple possibilities so authors don't have to choose which way they want a story to go. It gives them a lot of freedom.

Anyway this is a great story. I hope that you continue to write more and expand it. Best of luck with your writing!

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18
18
Review of Ode to Cupid  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a nice poem. It seems like it was originally written close to February making it tie in well as a Valentine's day work. I wonder if it was written for any WDC prompts or just inspired by the Valentine's holiday itself.

This poem gives a good depiction of Cupid describing him exactly how I picture the younger version of him to be with arrows and a small bow and wings. He is happy and playful.

There were some really fun elements in this one. Each of the stanza reminds us that Cupids arrow hits hard. It really gave a great contrast become Cupid's angelic appearance against his sharp arrows.

On a technical level. I like the flow of all of the Stanzas. It is not exactly a refrain but they all share the same idea Cupid's arrows hitting followed by the concluding line of each Stanza. I love each of the variations of Cupid's arrow being described (i.e. until the arrow hits, until the dart is loosed, until the missile strikes etc). They were awesome. In a similar fashion the beginnings of each of the Stanzas had variations as well each referring to the younger cupid by different titles (i.e. that jolly little fellow, this little sweet cutie, that little dainty cherub, and that little baby Eros). There are also some great word choices that readers will enjoy in this. I love it when poems provide Alliterations and this poem has a few memorable cases used such as charming chortles and sugary sniggers. Both interestingly enough are used to describe his laugh. It makes a poem easier to recite and read through.

With the final line of the poem, I couldn't help thinking of the song "Wouldn't it be Loverly" from "My fair lady". It is a very sweet poem. Thank you for writing.

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Review of Was it a dream?  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an exciting story. It has a little bit of a thriller feel to it. Though it is a ghost story it is not necessary a horror one though there is definitely a haunting feel to it. Both the flashback and the present day portions were very exciting to read through. There are some great dramatic moments in this story.

It is little bit nerve wracking to read a story dealing with an earthquake as my hometown of New York City experienced an earthquake just last week though luckily nobody was hurt in it. The lead in this story is faced with a really difficult decision as he has to decide between helping his pregnant wife and daughter. It is not an easy choice but makes for an exciting moment. The lead seeing his daughter's ghost was very dramatic moment and I thought it was told very well. There is a dreamlike element to his encounter with his daughter and remembering her past. The way that the story ends with the main character awakening from an accident was well done.

I recommend some of minor edits to this :
2nd Paragraph
- By the time he woke up
3rd Paragraph
- "What...? Where?" hesaid rubbing his head.
- For some reason there was something wrong about his house. Because he did not remember that it was next to a forest.
4th paragraph
-The electricity was gone so he had to stumble around the place
He turned it on.when suddenly. He heard a sound coming from upstairs. (Remove the periods...this can all be one sentence.)
-young teenage girl
7th Paragraph
- When suddenly heavy shaking woke him up.
- When you arrived you had to wait... but then you felt the depression of his loss. (You should be he)

A couple of notes.
1) I love the classic opening line "It was a dark and... night"
2) Try to watch your tenses slightly and proofread aloud to help reduce typo and errors.
3) The pov shifts between the third person (he) to 2nd person (you) a lot. I think for this story. The third person works best.

Overall though I think this was a very good story and enjoyed reading it. Thank you for writing!

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20
20
Review of Pensacola  
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a really nice poem. It allows the reader to picture the location of Pensacola very well with a lot of great descriptive phrases. I feel like the reader is given a great impression of what the city is like as well as a little bit of insight into the narrator who is writing this. A lot of the stanzas are very well written out offering a glimpse the the locations being described.

I knew nothing about Pensacola going into poem but after reading this I know more about the city and get the sense it is a coastal city. This poem really stimulated our senses giving the sights and sounds of the city. I could easily picture the roads there and I love the verbal depiction of the docks discussed. I felt like I was in a fish market itself in the second Stanza. The third stanza has some great uses of colors contrasting the blue bays, with the nets glinting in the sunset. There are some great contrasting images in this poem (i.e winter with summer, hills and dunes, grey haired ladies with children).

On a technical level this poem is nicely setup. I am unsure if this poem is written in a particular style or if it is just a freeverse poem. From reading it, it feels like there is a format to it. There are some light and approximate rhymes used (pains - lane, parts - carts, death - breath etc) which add beats for the reader to enjoy. There are also some really good uses of alliterations in this (i.e. fresh fish, Shipwrecked and soiled etc) that added some spice to the poetry.

I really enjoyed reading this poem a lot. Thank you very much for writing and sharing it.
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21
21
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Very cool wolf / dream catcher image. *Wolf*
22
22
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awesome crossword puzzle. I had a lot of fun taking it. It has a lot of great comic book trivia in it. That comic book fans can appreciate. I was able to solve it. The most challenging clues for me was "Weapon wilded by Wonder Woman", "Alias adopted by Clark Kent" and "Mutant Leader who fights for Co Existence". Filling in other clues helped to obtain the answers needed i.e the R from Krypton and the N from Superman. Thank you for making and inviting me to try this. I really enjoyed it very much.
23
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Review of Crystal Cove  
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a really beautiful location and image. *Smile*
24
24
Review of Gotham's Minority  
Review by KingsSideCastle
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice interactive. I like the idea of having Shrinking stories in the Chris Nolan Gotham universe. This story is still very early in development but the chapters so far are very god. I like the setups with Rachel and Bruce shrinking available. It's nice to see Nolan female characters available as choices for story arcs like Anne Hathaway Catwoman, Rachel and Talia. I would love to see hero characters like Batman wind up shrinking around them. Anyway this is really exciting story and I hope you continue to build it out. Thank you very much for making it.

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25
25
Review by KingsSideCastle
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a really good poem. It captures the feeling of Spring with some nice spring imagery (flowers, bees, butterflies). Phrases like "dance in the breeze" help provide engrain in the reader's mind sensations of the season. I also really like the refrain "Flowers of the field" it a nice bit of alliteration to read through. It is a beautifully written poem and a great way to welcome Spring! *FlowerT*


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